the awkward dinner

FRANCESCA

“BELIEVE ME, I get it. The first night is the worst. The pain.” Gianna shivers, remembering, while Amalia cringes. When I don’t react, they both look at me.

“How did it…” She glances around to make sure no one’s listening in. I’m pretty sure no one is, they’re all in another room.

Then, she whispers, “How was your first? I bet you can barely walk. I’ve heard the Don is brutal. You’re good at hiding the pain.”

“Well,” I start, quickly thinking of what to say. “It was definitely painful.”

I’m relieved when Gianna starts talking again. “My first was a nightmare. I ended up in the hospital for days.”

I swallow, trying to be discreet. I don’t want to end up in the hospital. “Oh.”

“I didn’t end up in the hospital, but I was pretty sore,” Amalia jumps in.

I’m not even sure how we got on this topic. One minute we’re chatting about the new malls, the next we’re discussing this.

I’m uncomfortable, but I hide it well. Or at least, I think I do because they don’t seem to suspect that I’m still a virgin.

The bell rings, saving me from any more talking. These girls are nice, but I’m not exactly thrilled to discuss my personal life. I barely know them.

Since I’m the host along with Antonio, I’m the one who has to open the doors. I’m the wife.

I quickly fix my hair on my shoulders before walking over to the doors, only to stop at the sight of Sara greeting an old man.

Even from a distance, I can see the man’s frown on his wrinkled face, and his icy eyes narrowing into a glare. Disappointment is practically radiating off him.

“What are you wearing, ~nuora~?” He growls at Sara. My eyes widen. He thinks Sara is me. How can he not recognize his own daughter-in-law?

Sara seems oblivious to his annoyance and anger because she starts beaming. “I knew you’d accept me as your daughter-in-law.”

Now is definitely the time to step in. Sara is clueless but I’m not. She’s going to get herself killed. “~Nonno~, welcome.”

I bow my head in immediate respect as I stand beside Sara, pushing the door even wider as my light brown hair frames my face innocently.

I can feel the man’s cold stare on me. I don’t dare look up. I’m submitting to him. He’s my superior.

He walks past us slowly. The Godfather isn’t one to play nice. And I know I’m in trouble the moment he walks into the living room.

I can hear the men quieting down. It’s silent until Roberto starts speaking.

“Whose ~puttana~ is that, Antonio?” My hands tremble. Is he talking about me? Does he not like me? Weren’t he and Raffaello the ones who chose me for the Don?

“That is Father’s woman, never mine,” my husband’s smooth yet calculating voice answers. A chill runs down my spine as I realize they’re not talking about me. I’m not in trouble.

I also notice that the Don doesn’t use the crude language ~Nonno~ and the other men use, which is strange. Antonio doesn’t swear much.

I try to quietly make my way into the living room so I don’t draw attention to myself. I’m supposed to wait on the Godfather personally. But I feel a grip on my arm, making me stop.

Sara’s shaking fingers latch onto my arm as her eyes fill with unshed tears. I feel bad for her in that moment.

My father-in-law didn’t tell her that ~Nonno~ has old-fashioned views. That man would kill a woman if she was part of the Family and dressed like that.

“Please, help me,” she begs, her voice barely above a whisper. For the first time since I met her, her resolve breaks. “I did it for my family. Please. I didn’t know.”

My heart aches for her but I know I have to stay strong and turn a blind eye. I can’t ruin my life for someone else’s when I know my actions won’t change anything.

It would just get me punished too. I don’t bother reassuring her because I don’t know myself what her punishment from the Godfather will be.

I don’t want to be the sacrificial lamb in this because honestly, it would just make things worse, not better. She’s asking the wrong person for help.

Amalia and Gianna are already in the living room when I come in and stand beside them. Luckily, no one pays attention to me, but I see my husband’s gaze flicker to me. Is he mad?

With my back straight and my head tilted slightly down just like the other two girls, I stand beside the white wall. I feel like a servant in the shadows.

There are so many men here. Earlier, I was introduced to Dante, Costanzo, and Omero, Antonio’s younger brothers. They didn’t seem to care much about me when we met.

Dante, being the second oldest, gave me a suspicious look before he shrugged and left with Alessandro, Amalia’s husband.

Costanzo and Omero weren’t any different but I quickly figured out that Costanzo is more carefree than the other three siblings.

And last, I met Pietro, whom I invited in with Gianna. The man couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of me then.

Sara stands by the door with her head lower than ours. I’m worried for her safety. Amalia’s hand brushes mine before she gives it a comforting squeeze.

She knows this is my first time meeting the Godfather and these men—and seeing their punishments.

“Why am I not surprised?” Goosebumps appear on my skin when Roberto speaks again. He’s the most dangerous predator here and I’m glad I’m not his prey.

Despite his age, he's the most ruthless and seasoned of us all, which only adds to his power. Even my husband seems to hold him in high regard, and that's saying something.

“You probably have secret kids running around that we don't even know about. You young ones have no sense of right and wrong anymore. There was a time when wives were held in higher esteem than brothers.

“Now, you guys just beat and violate them. No sense of decency at all.”

No one, man or woman, dares to meet Roberto's gaze, not even my husband. Raffaello is no exception. He's not the Don now, nor is he the Godfather.

Raffaello had to relinquish his rule pretty quickly for some reason. It's no secret that he couldn't keep his pants zipped, even on the night his wife drew her last breath.

“~Nonno~, we should start dinner now,” my husband suggests. I'm taken aback by his calm demeanor. There's no unease in his voice. He respects this man greatly.

“I want that ~puttana~ dead,” he growls, his eyes landing on me. I quickly avert my gaze. “Now that's how a woman should dress. Go get dinner ready. We'll be there shortly.”

I know he's talking to me. I can feel my fingertips trembling with fear, but I do as I'm told. Like any daughter of the Godfather, I want to make a good impression on him too.

With my head bowed like a well-trained dog, I instruct Mya, who's in the kitchen, to prepare the dinner. I'm relieved to be away from the domineering men for the time being.

Sooner than I'd like, the dining hall fills with men and the few women present. Including Mya and me, there are about five women and seven men.

Mya doesn't really count, so it's actually four women to seven hardened killers. I don't like those odds.

Utensils clink as everyone eats in silence, broken only by occasional whispers. With the Godfather at the head of the table, it's hard to even move.

No one wants to be the focus of his attention. My husband is the only one eating peacefully beside me.

“I heard you're pregnant, Amalia?” Roberto shifts his attention to Amalia. His hands shake as he pours more wine into his glass.

Raffaello quickly steps in to assist. “Here, ~padre~.”

Next to me, Amalia squirms as all eyes turn to her. “Yes, Godfather. I am.”

“I hope it's a boy, Alessandro.” He picks up his napkin and wipes his mouth with a refined air. I suppress a cringe. Why does it matter if it's a boy or a girl?

Either way, they'll be thrust into this political life of the Mafia where abuse is as common as the sunrise.

“Thank you, Godfather.”

While Antonio is an imposing man with black hair and eyes, Alessandro is a brunette, but tall like my husband.

From the moment I saw him and my husband greet each other, I knew they were closer than Pietro, even though Pietro is second in command.

Pietro, Gianna’s husband, isn't a faithful man to his wife, but he seems like a good mafioso. He's another man with black hair and a muscular, fighter-like physique.

Everyone is aware of his flirtations with other women, but he never pursues another brother’s wife. He'd look, but he wouldn't make a move. Or so I heard from Amalia when Gianna was out.

“Pietro, you should spend more time at home. We need more heirs,” Roberto continues, his voice laced with mockery.

“Yes, Godfather.”

I immediately realize that the Godfather isn't a man who overlooks things. He knows everything without even being present.

I just hope I don't end up on his bad side because I'm certain my husband wouldn't stand up for me against him.