Chapter 6

"Hello Mermaid," Mark's voice startled her. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?" he asked as he sat down beside her on the stairway of the entrance to the house.

"A little," she said as she watched the gloomy dark starless sky. "It's so beautiful out here," she said as she wrapped her arms around herself at the cold chill in the air. Mark removed his coat and placed it around her, and she appreciatively smiled at him.

"Have you remembered anything yet?" he asked after a while of silently sitting there with her.

"No, not yet."

"Are you comfortable here?" he asked.

She nodded, knowing there was no other place she'd rather be.

"That's good."

"How long have you worked here?"

"I've known the Mackenzie's all my life but I've worked here for more than eight years."

"Eight years? That's a long time."

"Yeah, it is. The Mackenzie's are family. After my father died, Joshua and Lori took me in."

"Do you live on the ranch as well?"

"Yes, I live in the house next to Michael's."

"How come you don't have dinner with the rest of us?"

"I do, sometimes, but I like eating alone." As he said that, Mermaid saw Holly walking out of her cottage.

She had not joined them for dinner that night, and Mermaid hoped it was not because of what had happened the previous night. She headed to the stables and Mermaid wondered what she was going to do there so late at night.

It didn't take her long to wonder as Holly came out riding a horse and then quickly, she rode into the darkness. Mermaid stood up in alarm. "What's she doing? She could get hurt?"

"Don't worry. She'll be okay," Mark said as he got to his feet.

"But it's so dark. She could fall into a ditch or something."

"Mermaid, Holly knows every inch of this ranch so it's unlikely that would happen."

"What about the horse?"

"Horses have excellent night vision."

The calm in which he spoke told her that Holly had done this before. "Does she do this often?" she asked.

"She used to, when she was growing up."

"So she hasn't done it in a while?"

"No."

"Why is that?"

"Mermaid, Holly hasn't been home in over six years. She had only been back for two weeks before she found you."

Mermaid looked at him in surprise. "Six years? Where was she?"

"She went to school in New York but she wasn't supposed to be gone for so long. Nobody knows why it took her six years to come back and she won't talk about it to anyone."

"That's why she's distant towards everyone," Mermaid said, almost to herself. She felt like she understood Holly a little more now. "Why did she used to ride at night?"

"She said it used to help her think."

"How was she like before she left?"

Mark seemed to take his time to answer that particular question. "She was sweet, very social and friendly with everyone. She was funny too."

"Did something happen to her before she left?" Mermaid asked, trying to figure out where the transition had taken place.

"I'm sorry, but that is her business. I can't discuss it with anyone," he said and then started walking away.

"Mark, wait."

He stopped and Mermaid walked over to him and handed him back his coat.

"Goodnight," she said and he nodded and walked away.

Even though Mark had said that Holly was an experienced rider and knew the ranch well, Mermaid couldn't help worrying about her. She might have been used to riding in the dark those six years ago, but that was a long time ago, and a lot could have happened to change that.

Since it was cold, she decided to go wait for her in the cottage. If she went back to the house, she wouldn't know if and when Holly got back.

She wondered what could have happened to her, this thing that no one was supposed to talk about. Mermaid had sensed some tension between Holly and her family, but despite that, there had been deep unconditional affection.

Whatever it was that had happened, Mermaid could tell it had not changed the Mackenzie's love for Holly but instead, it had changed something within Holly. It was a shame, since she was such a beautiful woman and so full of life.

Mermaid had noticed how hard she worked on the ranch. She spent hours in the stables glooming, and feeding the horses, then after that she'd ride them for exercise and later lock herself up in her father's office working on the papers.

Anyone would have thought that she'd done it for years, but if she'd been gone for so long, burying herself in work must have been a way of escapism. But from what? Mermaid pondered. Why was she riding in the dark of the night?

The silent unanswered questions continued going through her mind, one by one until she drifted off to sleep. It was when Holly returned to the cottage almost an hour later, that she woke up, feeling massively relieved to see her safe.

"Mermaid?"

The surprise was evident on her face.

"You're back," Mermaid said as she got up. "I guess Mark was right. I shouldn't have been worried about you," she said.

"Why were you worried about me?" Holly asked.

"I saw you riding into the darkness. I feared you'd get hurt or something."

Holly smiled at her and shook her head. "You had nothing to worry about. I'm fine," she said as she went to the open kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Can you teach me how to ride?"

"Yeah, sure, when you're fully recovered and with mom's authorization. I don't want to give her an opportunity to bite my head off again," Holly said lightheartedly.

"Yes, of course. I guess I should let you get some sleep," Mermaid said on her way out.

"Hey."

She turned.

"Thanks for worrying about me," Holly said.

Mermaid nodded and smiled in response. "You're welcome."

"Mermaid," Holly stopped her again.

"Yeah?"

"Tomorrow I'm going to town to get some supplies for the ranch. Would you like to come along?"

"I'd love to."

"Okay, good. Well, goodnight," Holly said and Mermaid walked out and closed the door.

She knew she couldn't just come out and ask Holly what had happened and even though she very much wanted to, something told her she wouldn't get the answers she sought.

There was something powerful about a first memory and that was what Holly was to Mermaid. She was the very first face Mermaid had seen when she'd woken up. The very first voice she'd heard when she'd been lying in that hospital bed.

She knew Holly would more likely confide in that person rather than her conscious self but she hoped that one day soon, Holly would open up to her. It had just been a few days since she'd moved into the house, in a little more time, they'd get closer.

Everything was still new to Mermaid. She still could not fully understand the behavioral patterns of some people, but she would have given anything to understand Holly.

Holly was a broken puzzle, a beautiful damaged mystery and for the first time, Mermaid wanted to figure her out but she was no ordinary puzzle or mystery. There was something fascinating about her that Mermaid felt connected to. She didn't know what that was, but she was going to find out.

*

"You've not been here for weeks," Holly said to Lana in Cassie's bedroom.

Cassie had gone downstairs to get something to eat and Holly had taken that opportunity to go see Lana.

"Have you been avoiding me?" Holly asked.

"No," Lana said nervously as she got up from the desk where their books were sprawled over the table.

"You're lying," Holly softly accused. "If you didn't want to see me all you had to do was say so," she said and ran out of the room like a wounded little child.

Since the concert, or more specifically, since the kiss, Holly had not been able to get Lana out of her mind. It had been the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to her. To feel so much at a simple touch had moved the core of her world.

But after Lana had silently driven her home and bid her goodnight, Holly had not seen or heard from her in two and a half weeks. She didn't know how to interpret the silence because every little change that had taken place in her had been so new.

"Holly," Lana said from her bedroom door as she walked in. "Its not that I didn't want to see you," she gently explained.

"Then what is it?"

Lana looked like she was having some sort of debate in her head before she sat down beside Holly. "Wasn't it unusual for you to kiss a girl?"

It had been unusual, but in a good way. "What was unusual was what I felt, not particularly the kiss itself. I always thought I knew how it would be like to kiss the right person, but what I felt was way beyond my imagination."

"I don't want to impose something you're not used to, Holly. I don't think that would be fair to you," Lana said.

"What's not fair is you never kissing me again," Holly said and Lana smiled, exposing dimples Holly had never noticed before.

"You don't know if you like girls, that's what I'm trying to say."

"I know I don't like boys," Holly argued.

"Holly, I like you a lot—." Lana started to say but Holly interrupted her. "Then shut up and kiss me."

Holly did not understand Lana's conflict. If they liked each other, why couldn't they try and be together?

"I'm sorry, Holly," Lana said and Holly surprised herself when she plunged forward and silenced her with a kiss.

Afraid Lana would push her away, Holly lightly and cautiously parted her lips and explored the kiss, holding Lana close. When Lana began to respond, Holly gave into it and welcomed the waves of arousal that traveled through her body.

Lana pulled Holly closer as their lips softly moved swiftly against each other in unison, taking, receiving, giving and enduring the deep sensuality of the intimacy.

Lana wrapped her arms around Holly's petite waist and moved her hands against the fabric of her top. Holly's arms were securely clasped around Lana's neck as she clung onto the sensations that held her hostage.

If Hanna felt anything remotely close to what Holly was feeling when Derrick kissed her or touched her, then Holly didn't blame her for endlessly talking about it.

Holly was disappointed to pull away at the approaching soft patter of footsteps. Lana took a step back, creating distance between them and Holly crossed her legs in an attempt to stop the delicious fervors still moving through her.

Cassie walked in and casually asked, "Are you guys discussing your favorite rock bands again? Come on, Lana, we have to study."

Lana walked out and Cassie looked at Holly. "You look weird," she said and then shortly followed her friend.

Holly touched her lips and smiled. She wondered what her sister would say if she knew what had just happened.

*

"Are you ready to go?" Holly asked Mermaid the following morning.

"Yes, I'm ready," she said as she got on the passenger seat of the jeep.

"Fasten your seatbelt," Holly said.

After Mermaid did so, she drove out of parking and headed for the ranch's exit.

"How was it like for you growing up here?" Mermaid asked when they were on the road.

"It was okay, I guess. There are a lot of fun activities like; winding through forests and open fields for horseback riding and ATV's. The ranch has always had great terrain for that, especially after the rainy season.

"We also have some lakes, which were great for swimming, and every other thing you'd think to do on water, and in the evenings, every once in a while we'd camp outside the manor with a firepit, share those old ghost stories under the moonlight. It was amazing. I loved it. But later on, when I grew up, I never quite felt like I belonged."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know. I guess I was just different."

"What about now?"

"Now I look at things a little more realistically," Holly said as Mermaid held onto her cowgirl hat because the strong wind was threatening to blow it away.

"Did something bad happen?" Mermaid asked, watching Holly as she drove, and noticed how she clenched her hands over the steering wheel.

"A lot of bad things happened," she said.

"Is that why you went to school so far away from home?" She saw Holly tighten her jaw and wondered if she was intruding asking all those questions.

"Partly, yes."

"What was the other reason?"

Holly turned to look at her and after a moment, she turned her attention back on the road. "Who told you I went to school far away from home?" she asked instead.

"I think I heard someone mention it," Mermaid said, turning her eyes on the road when she noticed the discomfort that settled in Holly.

"What else did you hear?"

"Just that you were gone for a long time. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm prying, I don't mean to. I don't have much of a story to tell because my book is blank. That is why I'm filling it with other stories," she said.

"No, it's fine. I'm just not comfortable talking about some things."

"I understand," Mermaid said.

"Do you?" Holly asked.

Mermaid nodded. "Yes, I think so. I want to get close to you. I don't know why, but it feels like my life will somehow start to make sense. I'm not saying this so that you can open up to me."

"Why are you saying it?"

Mermaid smiled and then softly laughed at the question even though there was no humor in it. "It's silly," she said as she removed her hat and held it on her lap.

"Tell me," Holly said with a light of interest in her eyes.

"Do you really want to hear it?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Mermaid dramatically cleared her throat, which made Holly laugh. "That day I woke up at the hospital, I was sailing to the sound of your voice. When I opened my eyes and saw you, I had no idea who I was or how I'd gotten there. But rather than panic, I looked at you and it was like I had nothing to be afraid of. I felt a strange sense of safety."

"That's not silly."

"That's why I'm saying that when I'm close to you, it feels like everything is okay. Whatever I was running from, I don't have to run anymore. Whatever I was hiding from, I don't have to hide anymore. For some reason that I can't understand, Holly, I feel like I'm connected to you."

Holly speechlessly looked at her and Mermaid bit her lower lip, not sure if she had revealed too much. When Holly turned her attention back on the road, Mermaid decided a change of topic would put them both at ease.

"What does Cassie do?"

"She's a chef," Holly said.

"A chef?"

"Yeah, she actually owns a restaurant with Tony. It's a nice intimate place. We'll pass by there on our way back."

"That'll be nice," Mermaid said then a bit of an awkward silence descended. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," she said.

"You didn't," Holly said, but Mermaid saw more into her than she dared admit.

"I can see that you are."

"You're too keen on details, and I have to learn to get used to that."

"It's a bad thing when someone can see what you don't want them to see," Mermaid said.

"Not entirely. Some things are just hard to talk about," Holly said.

Mermaid nodded and decided to stay quiet the rest of the way. It wasn't long before they got to the city centre. Mermaid looked at everything in awe. It felt magical to be surrounded by so much that felt new to her.

Holly got the supplies she needed for the livestock and the farm and after that, she showed Mermaid around town. She took her to the shopping mall where they got some new clothes and ate ice cream, which Mermaid thoroughly enjoyed. Afterwards, Holly took her to the park, where they stayed for a while.

Later on in the afternoon when they both worked up an appetite, Holly took Mermaid to Cassie's restaurant.

"It's big and packed," Mermaid said as the entered the restaurant which was named Maddanna, aportmanteau of Maddy and Alanna.

They went and took a seat on a two chaired table and a second later, a waitress handed them a menu.

"Is Cassie around?" Holly asked her before she left and the waitress nodded.

"Could you tell her that her sister is asking for her?"

The waitress nodded again and walked away.

"There is so much to choose from," Mermaid said as she scanned the menu.

"Yeah, let's see what the chef is going to recommend," Holly said as Cassie walked over to their table and lightly pecked her sister's cheek and then hugged Mermaid.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked.

"Mermaid wanted to see the restaurant."

"It's a lovely place, Cassie."

"Thank you, Mermaid."

"How are the kids?" Holly asked.

"They're fine. They miss you both, though. You know, before Mermaid came, it was always Aunt Holly this, and Aunt Holly that. Now it's Mermaid this, and Mermaid that. They can't wait for the weekend."

"I can't wait to see them again. They make me so happy," Mermaid said, recalling the warmth that had filled her when she'd been around them.

"Trust me, they cannot wait to see you too," Cassie said.

"So tell us, what would you recommend?" Holly asked.

Cassie recommended the day's special and sent a waitress for the meals. She chatted with them until their food arrived, then left them alone.

"Do you think you can take me where you found me?" Mermaid asked later when they were winding up. "It might help me remember something," she added.

"Sure," Holly said as she paid the bill.

"Excuse me, your sister said the meal was on the house," the waitress who had served them said.

"Oh, okay, thanks," Holly said as they got up. "Let's go tell her we're leaving."

Mermaid followed her to the kitchen, but Cassie was busy so their goodbyes were brief. When they got back on the road, Holly drove to the beach while she continued showing Mermaid around Reedsdale. The drive wasn't long and a short while later, Holly was parking the jeep. They followed a trail down to the beach as they took in the rich intoxicating scent of the ocean.

"It's breathtaking." From the furthest her sight could reach, all she saw was sea and sky.

"See how blue it is?" Holly asked as she took off her shoes to feel the sand against her feet.

"Yeah, it's incredible," Mermaid said as she did the same, and set her arms aside to feel the cool breeze that passed her by.

"That's how incredibly blue your eyes are."

Mermaid rewarded her with a warm smile.

"I had my first real kiss on this beach," Holly said.

"It must have been amazing."

"It was," Holly said. "Do you see those rocks over there?" She pointed to the ragged rocks as they headed in that direction and Mermaid nodded. "That was where we found you."

When they got there, Holly explained the condition Mermaid had been in and how the girls had helped carry her to the jeep.

Mermaid closed her eyes, trying to recall details that left a blank in her mind, but it was all dark. She looked out to sea, wishing there was a way she could trigger back those memories and exhaled as she gave up.

"What could I have been doing here?" she asked rhetorically.

"That's what Tony and I wondered. We concluded you were on a cruise and fell overboard but we couldn't risk reporting you missing in case you were in danger. The laceration on your arm was inflicted by someone," Holly said.

A tremor of fear crept up inside Mermaid.

"You're safe with us. You don't have to worry," Holly quickly reassured her.

"I'm safe with you," Mermaid repeated softly.

In form of comfort, Holly placed her hand over the small of Mermaid's back and Mermaid turned around and wrapped her arms around her, letting the sense of safety overwhelm her.