CH 97

For Yihan, what he should think deeply and judge was whether a decision was good for the nation or not. It was about what kind of person he should put in a position so that the people could live happily without being starved or persecuted. He read books to realize what he lacked, and he only looked at paintings because he had to be an emperor who understands the culture.

Even if there were some of them that Yihan liked more, it didn’t mean much to him. It was the life of an emperor who led the nation, not Sung Yihan.

However, Hwawoon was asking Yihan now. What color does he, not the emperor, like?

It was a trivial question. It was a question of no use in leading the nation. Whether he liked black or red, it didn’t help the emperor’s position at all. So it was a very strange thing to say. Why did the emperor feel hot and shocked as if he had become a fool because of that trivial question?

Hwawoon, who was staring at the emperor’s awkwardly hardened face, this time, opened his mouth in a very gentle voice as if to soothe a child.

“Then… would you like to give it a thought once?”

Hwawoon couldn’t figure out why the emperor had never thought about what color he liked. However, his heart sank when he heard the answer because he also lived like that.

In a life where he didn’t know when he would starve to death, he couldn’t afford to find out what he liked and hated. He was just so grateful to have someone throw away trash-like food at him, so how could he know if he liked meat or fish? Not to mention the colors. For Hwawoon, correction, for young Hawoon, the world was all achromatic.

However, Hwawoon remembered the huge emotion he felt at the moment he first realized ‘what I like’. The sense of overpainting the world with new colors was a memory that was overwhelming beyond words. When he found and wore blue clothes that he liked, not roughly picking up the straw mat, Hwawoon finally realized that he wasn’t a beast, but a human.

Of course, it wasn’t the case with the emperor. He knew that the emperor didn’t think about what he especially liked because he was not in a hurry to survive like him. He knew that even if there was nothing he liked, the emperor lived by eating meat and fish in abundance and wearing all kinds of colorful clothes. He knew.

“There must be a particularly eye-catching color. If I dare to ask you… Could you let me know?”

Nevertheless, Hwawoon asked the emperor today because he wanted that person to have something special. None of the countless beautiful silks could be special without his favorite colors, no matter how many colorful silks he was surrounded by. Hwawoon hoped that the majesty emperor, the most precious person in the world, would always have something special in his hands. He wanted him to enjoy the happiest thing he could have.

Yihan was silent for a while and only stared at Hwawoon. Hwawoon seemed somewhat nervous at the emperor’s silence, but he did not try to avoid his eyes. Yihan opened his mouth after a long time as Hwawoon’s light eyes were facing Yihan so warmly.

“I’ll think about it.”

No one probably knew how difficult it was to say this one answer.

In retrospect, Yihan always grew up thinking that he should thoroughly suppress his own desires. At first, it must have originated from his mother’s words that he should never be too fond of his concubines. No matter how much a woman he likes, the emperor should not hold anyone dear in his heart and focus only on his personal desires. The current empress dowager used to tell that to young Yihan persistently.

Thus, Yihan, who became almost obsessive about the idea that a person who would become an emperor should not put forward his personal desires from a young age, grew up not thinking about all other personal desires, not just concerning concubines.

Therefore, how meaningful it must be for Yihan to say that he would think about what he likes in particular.

Even if Hwawoon didn’t know, Yihan couldn’t help but know he was taking the first step of a big change now. He clenched both his fists. His heart thumped. Dry saliva went down his throat and his palms were sweaty. It was a feeling close to fear. Yihan seemed to have returned to his very childhood in an instant, and his mother seemed to break into the door and yell at him about what he was doing now.

“I’ll be waiting.”

Said Hwawoon, who was in front of him. Yihan sat there and saw how gentle the eyes of a man who said he would wait until the emperor found his favorite color. How graceful and beautiful the lips that drew a soft smile. And how gentle the eyes looking at him.

Those things strangely gave him courage. His words of waiting seemed to be an indulgence to Yihan.

Yihan, who engraved it in his eyes without omission, opened his mouth again.

“Yes. I’ll let you know when I realize it.”

The world that had remained sturdy for a very long time began to crack. The beginning was very trivial, merely about color, but no one could tell where the end would lead.

***

“This is Ahjin.”

Ahjin, who came inside with a bowl of medicine, was still careful about the emperor’s unfamiliar gaze. She bent her back, held the medicine she had brought forward slightly, and opened her mouth.

“It’s time for His Highness to take his medicine…”

Only then did the emperor exclaim, “Ah!” There were a few awkward minutes of silence, and he also sat while losing track of time. It didn’t matter to him when the silence came. Sitting alone with him in a quiet room felt somewhat tasteful.

Yihan liked it when he himself or Hwawoon brought up trivial words and continued talking about nothing, and it made his stomach tickle. As a result, Yihan completely forgot that Hwawoon was a patient.

“I’ve been holding someone who has to rest early for too long.”

“Oh… I’m the one who wasn’t able to see that you must be tired. I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

The voices of each other were filled with regret that was hard to hide, but the two seemed to be not aware because they were busy controlling their own emotions.

“I was the one who stayed and didn’t go back, so what is there to be sorry about…”

Despite saying that, Yihan did not get up from his seat, and hesitated for no reason. I’ll just watch him take his medication. It worries me, so I’ll go after watching him take his medicine. Yihan was making such an excuse in his mind.

In the meantime, Ahjin, who regarded her master’s physical condition as the most important thing, more than the emperor, handed the medicine to Hwawoon and glanced at the emperor once. Then, she gently held out a small dish of candy that she brought with the medicine.

“Your Highness, hurry up and drink before it gets cold. I prepared candy, too.”

Hwawoon’s face flamed up. He was so embarrassed because the emperor saw that he always looked for candy because he couldn’t pass over bitter medicine even at his age. While Hwawoon sent a scolding look at Ahjin, asking why she said something useless, Yihan was recalling another memory.

It was a memory of a night when Yihan suddenly visited Jeongan Palace. Hwawoon was flustered because Yihan suddenly visited without any notice, and for that reason, he greeted Yihan with a bulging cheek because he forgot to spit out the candy he was holding in his mouth after taking the medicine. He clearly remembered that he was shocked because he found the round cheek to be cute despite the relationship between them wasn’t this good.

“Give me that.”

Perhaps because of that memory, Yihan half impulsively reached out to Ahjin. In fact, Ahjin did bring up the candy for this situation, but she looked surprised because she didn’t know that the emperor would really ask for it. Hwawoon, who was already embarrassed, also looked flustered because he couldn’t read the emperor’s intention to ask for the candy. However, no one was as surprised and embarrassed as Yihan was.

Why did you ask for this candy? What will you do? While asking as if criticizing himself, Yihan readily accepted the candy from Ahjin. He was surprised and embarrassed, but at the same time, subtle expectations and excitement bloomed together. Yihan looked at a small piece of candy that eventually fell into his hand. He then said, looking at Hwawoon who made a blank face.

“What are you doing? Drink it before it gets cold.”