25: Leo's Vows to Isa

ROCKET

I will be absolutely honest, I spent like an hour researching weddings last night so I know pretty much the right order of things off the top of my head even though I barely speak Swedish. Okay, I can understand like a word here and there and that's it. I can't say anything or write anything down but I know the words for some things. Like pants. And love. And truck.

So from that, I'm able to watch what's going on and pick up a few other words here and there (like wedding which has been pounded into my head with a sledgehammer for the entire time I've been here) HÃ¥kon knows what's going on and will occasionally lean over and say something to me.

I think they're doing readings.

Honestly if I were Isa and Leo my legs would get tired of standing for this much time. If I get married I'm gonna need a movement break in here somewhere to quell how unbelievably fidgety I'd get. HÃ¥kon would probably be okay to stand up there for that long but I'd need at least something to do with my hands.

They're fucking adorable, though. I mean, the whole thing where Isa wiped the tears off Leo's cheeks? Fuck me with a cheese grater. (don't that would hurt) but c'mon that was so goddamn cute.

Anyway.

So readings, in Swedish, which bares barely any resemblance to Czech but some resemblance to English and occasionally I hear a word like Love or wedding or boat. For some reason one of these little segments had a lot of boat references in it. A lot.

Okay now the dude in the priest shit is talking to Isa and Leo.

I elbow my boyfriend. "Her full name is Isabel?"

He frowns, then: "yeah where the hell did you think we got Isa form."

Isa, pronounced eesa, is definitely not the short form of Isabel. "Isabel shortens to Bella or Belle or Izzy or- oh."

He smiles, squeezing my knee four times. I stare down at his hand, dwarfing the fuck out of my kneecap. His knuckles have little scars over them and they're battered up, rough, calloused, but big and warm and so very soft anyway. I want him to put them on my cheeks and cradle my head like Isa did to Leo. I feel like those hands could definitely palm my skull though.

I fix my attention back to the front in perfect time to see Leo pull two little folded up pieces of paper and handing one to Isa. Oh, vows, okay. I know what those are.

Leo starts, his first two make the group of Swedish-speakers laugh a little bit, HÃ¥kon leans over to me and translates softly into my ear.

"Uh," HÃ¥kon whispers. "I promise to kill all the spiders that show up in the house, this was more poetic in Swedish I apologize- I promise to fold socks the way you like, even if I think folding over the tops to keep them together works better, I do agree it stretches them out a little." Leo says another few things and HÃ¥kon takes a breath. "Socks and spiders aside, you've been with me for going on eleven years, understandably no easy feat. In the middle of all that, you've sat by my side and rubbed my back when I've had the stomach bug, uh- fuck-" HÃ¥kon pauses, letting Leo say some more before keeping going. "And you were there for me even when I wanted to quit everything, you made me tea and kissed my head as I studied my way through my PhD, you let me read all six hundred pages of my thesis to you even though you had no idea what I was talking about."

HÃ¥kon lets Leo talk for another few seconds then: "and I think I knew I wanted to marry you from our first few dates. You were the sweetest person I'd ever met, you still are and I hope you know you will always be. Maybe it was when you picked up that coin off the ground and handed it to me, I hope you know I still have it, or maybe it was fixing my tie before the first game of mine you watched, maybe it was when you-" HÃ¥kon pauses, frowning. "Stole the fries off my plate for the first time before making it a tradition every time you eat with me." He breathes in next to my ear before continuing. "But whatever the moment was, I've known for almost half my life that I want to spend all of it with you." Leo's voice is breaking up there and my eyes are definitely watering. Probably dust.

HÃ¥kon starts talking again, translating. "And so this is me telling you I love you. You and your complete inability to sleep a full night without putting your cold feet on my back to warm them up, you and putting your hair up in a shampoo spike and coming out of the shower to show me, you and the way you came pretty close to convincing me we should exchange swords instead of rings in a few minutes, which, I still think it would've been cool had the idea not been shot down by a certain two sets of parents-" HÃ¥kon pauses, clearly having a rough time with the processing between two languages. "You and all your weird little mannerisms, you and the way you come to me and lay your head on my chest after a rough day, not saying anything, just looking to me for comfort, you and-" HÃ¥kon thinks about the words for a moment. "Sending me your Pinterest boards at one in the morning even though you're sitting right next to me just so we can look at pictures of castles we'll never live in together." HÃ¥kon sighs. "I wish you could hear this how it's being said in Swedish."

"S'okay," I mumble, thankful we're in kinda the back so I can wipe my tears in peace.

He takes a breath, continuing. "And there's a hundred million different little proverbs and myths and legends that I could cite about the concept of soulmates and true love and all of everything deeply and fully considered romantic but I've found that nothing really captures the feeling of actually having that type of connection with someone like I do with you, so I'll tell you this, I could tell you a hundred things-" HÃ¥kon pauses, voice a little worn through. "About love and romance and all of that but I've found that when you smear marinara sauce on my forehead and say Simba in your perfect impersonation, that's a far better capture of love like this than any old myth or story."

HÃ¥kon pulls in a deep breath as Leo finishes up on the altar: "and so before I talk everyone's ears off, and trust me it's taken me three months to cut this down to this instead of a whole new doctoral thesis on how much I adore you, I love you, truly, fully, even when you wake me up in the middle of the night because there's a spider on the ceiling."

Isa is wiping tears out from under her eyes as Leo puts the paper back in his pocket.

HÃ¥kon sighs and starts talking again. "I should've known I should've gone first, you irritating thing, there's no way I can out do that."

I laugh, leaning my head on his shoulder for a moment.

HÃ¥kon pulls in a breath. "I am so sorry, Rock, this is so much better in Swedish."

I shake my head. "Shut it and translate, I'm trying to have a good time."

He smiles. "Okay, fine, yeah." And then he starts again. "It's funny, L, I had a spider joke to start mine off too, so, okay, let's go. Leo, I knew from a young age that I was going to need to end up with a guy that could kill spiders and I knew that guy was going to be you when, the first time you were at my house at age 18, you saw one and shrieked like a little girl." the crowd is laughing. "Lucky enough for me, you were trying to show off and after the momentary fear, you puffed out your chest and tried to smush it against the ceiling. To this day, I still think that little spider carcass is smashed into the ceiling in the kitchen of my parent's house. You were beyond proud of yourself for like six weeks and I feel like I knew from then I was gonna end up getting old with that goofball- Oh bad translation- So, as your spider-killing confidence grew from shoes and fly swatters to what you did about a week ago, barehanded with the confidence of a God, I've fallen in love, but that's not the only reason."

HÅKON

I butcher the fuck out of Isa's vows. I mean, butcher them. Leo is funny and uses short words and I was able to translate those quickly in my head but Isa has always been poetic and I have no idea how to push some of the stuff she said over into english so my rendition to Milo is a lot more messy than what she's actually saying. I feel bad, it's really genuinely sweet, all that she's saying, and I'm out here ruining it because I don't know the english words for stuff that she's saying.

He's shedding tears anyway and I check around us to make sure nobody is looking before brushing my thumb across his cheek.

ROCKET

I still have no idea what the hell is happening, I mean, I'm just here.

And they're being all cute and exchanging rings and not swords, though HÃ¥kon says Isa remarked about wanting swords too. I think that would actually be really sick. When we get married I'm getting him a sword.

Anyway.

Apparently that sentence meant you can kiss the bride because Isa has her arms looped up over her new husband's shoulders and he's cupping her cheeks and kissing.

And now is when I find out whether or not it's a catholic catholic wedding.

The priest opens his mouth again and I can just tell by the sounds that show up that I'm gonna be here for another hour and a half.

Fuck.

***

i gotta start making these chapters longer if I'm gonna have a reasonable amount of total chapters for one story even though this is technically two full novel sized books

anyway, go follow me on instagram I swear i'm funny sometimes

-rabid