46. Hug

Olivia

''Joel?"

I find Joel sitting on the floor in the distant corner of the east side of the school, hidden from everyone's sight. He has dropped on the floor with his knees on his chest, his head leaning on the wall. He's looking on a spot in the wall, his eyes look lost and broken. I call his name again, but he seems too lost in thoughts to hear me, his body is present, but his mind is elsewhere.

I approach him slowly and sit beside him, his position stays the same, motionless and cold. I put my head on his shoulder, and he flinches at the contact. His head slowly turns down in my direction and a shaky breath leaves his lips.

''What are you doing here?" he whispers.

''I'm here to make sure you're okay.'' I whisper back.

''Why?" he swallows.

''Because I care about you.'' I answer. His face changes to something like surprise mixed with happiness, but then it vanishes as soon as it appears. He looks at me in doubt, as if he doesn't believe the words that came out of my mouth.

''You don't believe me?" I ask.

''No one has ever cared about me expect my siblings.'' he whispers looking at his hands. ''Why would they care anyway?" he adds with a sad smile that cracks my heart to pieces.

''I'm a terrible person, a monster who almost killed someone. I can't control my anger, can't control myself. I disappoint my father, I make my mother sad, I hurt the others, I hurt you.'' his voice cracks, ''I'm a worthless human being, a monster who's selfish-''

I grab his face between my hands and stop him from talking further, ''You're not a monster Joel, you're a hero.''

His eyes widen at my words, and he shakes his head in denial.

''You are a hero.'' I repeat holding his face tightly, ''You saved your sister from getting raped, you should be proud of it.  That night you became her hero. Eugene deserved it and he deserves even more. Even if you killed him, he would completely deserve it. That night you saved your sister and the other girls. Because a pervert is a pervert, your sister isn't the only girl he harassed that night, and you took revenge for all of them.''

''And I'm so, so proud of you.'' I say and tears fall from his beautiful ocean eyes. I wipe them with my thumbs. ''I'm proud of you for beating up a pervert. And you'll never be a monster. If someone is the monster in this story, it's him, not you.''

''That's such a nice thing to say.'' he says, ''No one has ever told me that.''

''It's the truth.'' I say.

He still looks like he doesn't believe me.

''It doesn't matter what the truth is, no one loves me to care about that.'' he speaks.

''I do.'' I finally say it.

He stills, his Adam apple moving up and down as he swallows hardly. There's confusion and disbelief written on his features.

''What-'' his voice is shaky as he speaks, ''What are you saying?"

''I love you.'' I say, ''I love you exactly as you are.''

''No.'' he shakes his head, not looking at me, ''No, no. You don't know what you're saying.''

He tries to move away from me, and I look at him frowning? What happened now?

''Joel-''

''No.'' he backs away, ''You can't love me, why are you loving me? You're supposed to hate me, this doesn't make sense.''

''I don't hate you, I can't because I love you.'' I say, my voice shaky.

''Olivia please don't play with me. I... I can't take it if you're playing with me.''  he says, his face vulnerable.

''I'm not.'' I go closer to him and grab his face, forcing him to look at me. ''I'm not playing, I love you so much that I'm scared of it. I'm scared to say it to myself, I'm scared to say it to you.''

''But-''

''Joel, you hate yourself too much to realize that there are people who love you.''I say, and he stills.

''But I love you, and you better accept it.'' I say my voice firm.

''You do?" he swallows.

''I do.'' I say and he kisses me.

His kiss is deep and desperate. His hands hold my waist and pulls me closer making me sit on his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck and run my hands through his hair pulling him into me. He runs his hands down my body and brings them back up to my face and he kisses me once, twice, and his teeth catch my bottom lip for just a second and he kisses me again with a desperate urgency. He tastes so sweet and hot.

''Say it again.'' he whispers against my lips.

''I love you, Joel Cullen.''

''I love you, Olivia Meyer.'' he says and kisses me again.

I think my heart is going to explode.

We missed two classes today and when we went to class on the third period, our classmates started whispering and giving Joel weird looks. Just like they're doing right now as all of us sit on the cafeteria. I can't stand it anymore, and I can't look at Joel being so uncomfortable. He acts like he doesn't care, but I know he does.

''Yeah, he beat him up. Did you see the pictures?'' a girl says passing our table, and I give her a narrowed look.

I drop the spoon on my table and get up abruptly.

''Princess.'' Joel catches my hand.

''Shh.'' I shush him, ''Help me climb up.'' I say holding onto his hand and climb on the table.

''People.'' I yell on the top of the table. ''Silence!'' I yell again and all heads turn at me.

I smile satisfied, ''Can I have your attention for a minute, please?"

They all look at me curious of my speech. Joel looks at me confused and I give him a warm smile.

''So all of you have read RAN post about Joel and you're wondering if it's true or not. And I-''

''Of course it's true, RAN never lies!'' a guy yells from afar the room.

''Shut up.'' I say with a smile, and he goes quiet.

''And I want to make some things clear that RAN didn't mind mentioning.'' I say. ''Yes, Joel beat up the guy, but has anyone wondered why he did that?"

Everyone blinks looking at me.

''They were fighting that's why.''  someone yells.

''Wrong.'' I smile again.

''That night in the party Eugene was harassing a girl and was about to rape her.'' I say and everyone gasps, ''If Joel didn't go outside to get some fresh air that girl would have been raped. Joel saved the girl and gave Eugene the lesson he deserved.''

''So you tell me now.'' I say with a loud voice, ''Who's the monster in this story as RAN mentioned?"

Everyone stays silent, looking at each other.

''We should be proud that a person like him exists on our society and not judge him why he did that to a pervert.'' I say, ''And we girls should feel much prouder of him, because he saved one of  us.''

They nod looking at Joel and I smile in triumph.

''Joel is the definition that not all heroes wear capes!'' I say and they start clapping and shouting his name.

I look at Joel and he's looking at me with glossy eyes. I smile at him, and he smiles back.

Andy helps me to get down from the table and says ''Well done, chérie.''

Lucy gives me a proud look too.

I sit down on the couch beside Joel with a light heart.

''Be a good boy and go get me a strawberry chocolate.'' I say to Joel grinning.

He smirks and leans for his jacket pocket. He takes out my chocolate and I take it with a giggle.

I look over at Avril and she mouths ''Thank you.''

⚛⚛⚛⚛

''Hello, family.'' I say entering the living room.

Mom and dad are sitting on the sofa together, looking at the phone which dad's holding.

''Hi honey, how was school?" mom asks and I lean to kiss her cheek.

''It was amazing.'' I say and go to kiss dad, he ruffles my hair with a smile.

''I saw some videos online, Liv.'' dad says. ''Why did you defend Joel Cullen, pumpkin?"

''Because.'' I answer.

''Because it's not an answer.'' he says, and I shrug.

''Honey, if there's something you can tell us, you know that right?" mom cups my cheek.

''It's nothing mom. I just felt bad for him that's all.'' I say.

''Oh, my goodhearted daughter.'' my mom smiles. ''It's good to care for others, I've raised you well.''

''They're our enemies, Melinda.'' dad says unhappy.

''Shut up, Christian.'' she scolds, ''Go change dear we have Italian food for lunch.''

''Yay!'' I cheer as I walk out of the room.

Joel.

''How did that account discover your secret Joel?" father yells at me.

The three of us are in his office, facing father who sits at his work desk, looking like a king in his throne. I look everywhere in this office expect his eyes. I glance at the bookshelves that reach the ceiling; he has a lot of books in his office just for show. He wants to let people know that he's a smart person who reads, but I know that he hasn't read a single one of the books here.

''Joel!'' he yells again, and I flinch.

''I... I don't know how he discovered it.'' I lie.

''I did everything on my power to keep it hidden, I paid everyone, the medias, the hospital, even the guy's family and now a teenager with a stupid account reveals it to everyone?" he says with a bitter voice.

''I'm sorry, father.'' I say.

''Oh my God, I'm sorry he says.'' he rubs his forehead, ''What have I done to deserve such children?"

His words fell like knives on my chest demanding to crack the rib cage and go through my heart.

''Luke!'' he suddenly yells.

''Yes, father.''

''Why is your marriage cancelled?" he asks looking at Luke.

''Samantha didn't want to get married, father. She told me that on our last meeting.'' Luke answers.

''I know about that, Eliah told me. He said that his daughter changed her mind and that he's sorry to cancel the marriage. But what I'm wondering is, why did Samantha change her mind now when she was excited about it in the beginning?" he asks.

''Hm, Joel?" he turns at me and my eyes widen.

Oh, come on man, whatever that happens it's my fault?

"Do you have any idea why she changed her mind?" he asks, crossing his arms.

"No," I reply.

"No?" He raises an eyebrow. "So you're telling me you did nothing to change her mind?"

"That's right, I didn't," I confirm.

"I'll pretend I believe you," he states. "But if I find out you were involved, we're going to have a problem." he adds, and I nod.

''Why did Olivia Meyer defend you?" he asks looking at me.

How the heck did he find out about that?

''If you're wondering how I know about it, it's all over social media.'' he says. Of course.

Olivia stood up for me when nobody else did. I was so surprised and speechless when she climbed on top of the table and started defending me and fixing my reputation.  In that moment I didn't care for my reputation or for the others, in that moment all I cared was her and how much I loved her.

When she said ''Joel is the definition that not all heroes wear capes'' I felt a feeling of pride on my chest that I never felt before. She made me feel proud of myself when the others made me hate myself.

''I don't know why she did that.'' I reply.

''You don't?" he raises an eyebrow and I nod. He shakes his head in disappointment, and I frown at him.

''Don't get too soft just because she did that.'' he says. ''I don't know what's between you two, but you have to stop it before it's too late.''

''Nothing is going between us.'' I lie and he sighs.

''She'll break your heart, Joel.'' he says, and I clench my fists. ''She's a Meyer, that's what they do.''

I'm surprised that he's not saying anything to force me to stay away from Olivia.

But I'm not staying away from her even if he takes everything away from me. Not now that she told me that she loved me.

I was in disbelief when she confessed her love for me; I still am. I had prepared myself for her to confront me and declare her hatred. Instead, it turned out that she loved me.

''She said something.'' he changes the subject, ''she said that you saved a girl from getting raped. Is that true?" he asks.

''Yes.'' I answer.

''Who's the girl?" he asks.

I glance at Avril who looks scared. She doesn't want the others to find out what happened especially father, and I respect that. I remain silent and father raises his eyebrow on me.

''Me.'' Avril speaks after a while and my head snaps at her direction. Luke gasps looking at Avril in shock.

A noise is heard from father's direction and the three of us look at him. He stands in place shocked, the pen he was holding has fallen from his grasp. Tears form in his eyes as he looks at us.

He gets up quickly and walks over to Avril.

''He...It was you?" he asks in disbelief and Avril nods, tears streaming down her face.

And then he does something that shocks us all. He hugs her.

He wraps his arms around her and puts a protective hand on her head. Avril stands there in shock for a minute after wrapping her arms around him and crying in his chest.

Me and Luke look at each other not believing our eyes.

''Did he do something to you?" father asks pulling away a little.

''No.'' she shakes her head, ''Joel came in time.''

He nods and then places a kiss on her forehead.

My eyes widen. What in the actual fuck?

''You saved your sister.'' he cames to me and I nod. ''Well done, son.''

He says and then does something that takes the breath out of my lungs.

He hugs me.

My father is hugging me.

I stay in place shocked, not knowing what to do as he holds me closer in his warmth. He puts a hand behind my head and holds me tighter. I place my hands at his back uncertain.

''God job.'' he says patting my head.

My heart is drowning in joy as the warmth of my father's hug covers me like a soft blanket.

A warm cozy feeling erupts in my chest, and I want to have this feeling all the time, I want my father to hug me all the time. I'm realizing now that I crave his hug. Isn't it weird? A child craving for his father's hug.

''I was scolding you for almost killing him and I forced you to go visit him all the time.'' he says, ''I'm sorry son.''

My heart stops beating at his words. Adam Cullen is apologizing? To me?

''Why didn't you tell me the reason why you did that?" he pulls away and looks at me.

''I... felt ashamed of it and asked him not to.'' Avril speaks and father nods.

''I'm going to destroy him and his family.'' he turns his back at us, ''You may leave.'' he says, and we leave not sure what just happened.

''What the hell was that?" Avril whispers.

''Indeed.'' I whisper back.

''Avril.'' my brother hugs her, ''Why didn't you tell me about that?"

"I just... couldn't.'' she hugs him back.

''Are you okay?"

''I'm fine, don't worry.'' she gives him a smile.

''My father hugged me.'' she says with an enthusiasm.

''Me too.'' I say.

Luke shakes his head with a little laugh.

☯☯☯☯

I have to find out who is the one behind that fucking account. I go to the old computer's lab and start looking for that computer. After a long search I realize that it's not here.

Damn it.

How the fuck did the six of us forget to take the fucking computer instead of leaving it here?

We're six against one and look what the fuck he's doing at us!

''He took the computer.'' I say and sit down beside Olivia on the cafeteria.

''Oh merde.'' Andy curses.

''How will we find who it is now?" Lucy asks.

''It's Katrina, I think.'' Luke says and our heads snap at his direction.

''Because of the computer's wallpaper?" Olivia asks.

''Well, if that computer has RAN account and Katrina owns the computer it leads to her being behind the account.'' Luke explains.

I recall my first meeting with Katrina. She knew everything, me and Olivia being enemies, Olivia coming to my party, me kissing Oliva. Then she gave me Olivia's number, discovered Christian Meyer's project, found out where Olivia's date was...

Fuck, it was her all the time!

That's why she came to me and wanted to get close with me. And I, like an idiot made her my right arm! She wanted to be close with us so she could get more and more information for her account.

I thought she was my fucking friend! She backstabbed me.

''We have to prove it.'' Olivia says and I look at her.

''How will we do that?" Avril says.

I have an idea how to do that.

I take my phone out of my pocket and text Katrina.

Me: Meet me outside in the back garden.

''Mister Joel.'' she says adjusting her glasses, that movement gets on my nerves.

''I'm going to propose to Olivia, and you have to help me.'' I say.

I had this on my mind for a while, and Olivia confessing her love to me made it final. I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend. I really hope she says yes or my father's words ''she'll break your heart'' will come true.

So, I will propose to Olivia with Katrina's help on it and at the same time I'm going to prove that Katrina is behind RAN. I'll kill two birds with one rock.

''Oh my God!'' Katrina starts jumping up and down.

If I didn't know better, I'd say she's really happy and excited.

''What do I need to do?'' she asks.

''We have to keep this a secret.'' I say and she nods, ''No one can know about it.'' I add and she nods again

''Okay, I'm proposing her on the rooftop. You have the decoration job. Can you do it?" I ask.

''Yes.''

''Olivia's favorite flower is-'' I start.

''Carnations, I know.'' she says, and I frown.

''So, you just have to put flowers on the rooftop and on the floor.'' I say.

''What color do they need to be?"

''All kind of colors you can find. I'll transfer you the money with my phone. And put some lights too.''

''Okay.'' she says writing something on her small notebook.

''I know exactly how it is going to be!'' she says excitingly.

''It needs to be ready tomorrow morning.''

''Count on me.'' she says adjusting her glasses with her the tip of her fingers.

Let's see then, miss RAN stalker.