Apologies and Understanding - Sam

The bus ride back from the ski trip was a strange mix of exhaustion and excitement. The whole trip had been a blur of adrenaline and laughter, but now, as we started to head back home, the mood was a lot lighter. Everyone was in high spirits, tired from the slopes but thrilled by the memories. I was sitting with Jay, of course, and we had just finished talking about all the things we still needed to do once we got back—coursework, assignments, and studying for exams, but mostly just planning more time to be together.

Jay was chatting with Alex for a bit over at the front of the bus, so I sat back in my seat, content to relax for a moment. It was nice, the quiet of the bus, the hum of voices blending into one big chatter, everyone so carefree. But then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brad and Kyle walking down the aisle toward me.

"Mind if we sit here?" Brad asked, his voice casual, but there was an edge to it. I didn't respond at first. I didn't want to talk to Kyle—not yet, I was still processing it all, still figuring out what this meant for us.

"Come on, Sam," Brad insisted. "I need to talk to you."

Jay shot me a glance from the front. he mouthed "you good?" and I gave him a quick nod. I wanted to handle this on my own, at least for now. I wasn't ready to talk to Kyle yet, not in front of everyone. But Brad wasn't giving up, and Kyle was right behind him, sitting down across from us.

"I don't want to talk to him, Brad," I said quietly, my gaze locked on Kyle for a second. I could feel my chest tighten, the tension bubbling up in me.

Brad didn't back down, though. "Listen, I think you need to hear me out, okay? I'm sorry for all the shit I said, the jokes I made about you and Jay." He paused, looking at me like he was trying to read my expression. "If I had known... if I had known you were gay, it wouldn't have mattered, man. I can see now how I fucked up, though. I should've said something sooner, should've done better. So, I'm sorry."

I was taken aback by his honesty. I expected more defensiveness, more of the same bullshit. But no, Brad just looked... sincere.

I didn't know how to respond, so I just nodded. I couldn't speak yet, but I could see he was genuine. After a moment, Brad stood up and held out his arms. "Can we hug it out, man?"

I hesitated, but then I stood, and we hugged. It wasn't one of those quick, awkward pats-on-the-back kind of hugs. It was solid, real. Brad wasn't just apologizing to me—he was showing he meant it. When we pulled away, I could see his eyes were softer, like something had clicked for him.

"Thanks," he said, then turned to walk away. But before he left, he looked back over his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Sam. Really."

I watched him go, a lump forming in my throat. I wasn't expecting this—didn't know I even wanted it. But here we were.

And then, Kyle shifted in his seat, and I knew it was time. The air between us felt heavy, like a decade of unsaid words had piled up between us, and now it was all about to come spilling out.

Kyle cleared his throat. "You okay?"

I didn't know how to respond. I wasn't sure if I even was. "Yeah... I guess so," I said finally, meeting his eyes for the first time since the whole mess started. "But I wasn't ready to talk to you."

He nodded, like he understood, like he'd been expecting that. "Yeah, I get it. I was a dick."

I didn't say anything. I just waited for him to go on. My heart was still heavy with everything that had happened.

"I didn't... I didn't know how to handle it, man. When I saw you with Jay, I thought... I thought you were just replacing me as a friend. We haven't spent much time together this year, and then you started hanging around with his friends instead, I mean I didn't know you were dating and I said so much stupid shit about that, I didn't think it through. I treated you like shit, and I'm sorry for that, and now I guess I've lost you as a friend for good now."

His voice had grown quieter, more vulnerable. Kyle wasn't the type to open up like this, and I was surprised by the rawness in his tone. I saw the hurt in his eyes, and for a second, I felt a flicker of something I couldn't place—something that felt like understanding.

I looked at him, still unsure, but then I said the only thing that came to mind: "I didn't want to lose you as a friend." It was like the memories from the past all came back the years we had spent together when he wasn't being a dick.

His expression softened. "What do you mean?"

I sighed, leaning back in my seat. "I mean, yeah, we've drifted apart. Yeah, you've been a jerk. But we've been through too much for me to just... write you off. I'm not saying we're going to go back to how things were, but that doesn't mean it's over. I think... you just need to grow up a little."

His eyes were glassy, like he was holding back tears. He swallowed hard, the weight of my words sinking in. "I don't want to lose you as a friend either. I just... I don't know how I got so caught up in myself, and the way I treated jay, it wasn't fair, I guess I just didn't want him to be your friend, I need to tell him I'm sorry too"

I could see the sincerity in his eyes, the way his voice cracked when he spoke. For the first time in a while, I saw the Kyle I used to know—the Kyle who wasn't so worried about fitting in, the Kyle who was a friend before he was anything else.

I reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know you're sorry, Kyle. And I don't expect everything to just magically fix itself. But... at least your owning up to it."

Kyle's voice wavered as he spoke again. "I'll make it right, Sam. I promise."

I nodded, feeling the weight lift off my chest. and then, with a final, hesitant glance at me, Kyle got up and left, heading to the back of the bus. I leaned back in my seat, the weight of the conversation settling in, and I let out a long breath. Maybe it wasn't over between us. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a way back.

I didn't know if everything would be fixed overnight, but it felt like a step in the right direction.

It felt like, for the first time in a long time, things could actually get better.