Choices and Chances - Sam

Math class felt like an endless grind under Mr. Moon's droning voice. His monotone delivery on quadratic equations seeped into the room, making the air feel thick and heavy. My eyes wandered to the clock on the wall, silently pleading for the hands to move faster, but time seemed frozen in defiance.

I sat next to Jay, as usual, though my focus was nowhere near my notebook. The pages lay open in front of me, covered with half-hearted notes and random doodles scattered along the margins. A frustrated sigh threatened to escape me, but I bit it back. My mind wasn't on the lesson—it was on Jay.

I kept sneaking glances at him, my gaze darting from the numbers scrawled on the whiteboard to the neat lines of his handwriting. He was bent over his notebook, pencil moving methodically as he worked through the problems. His concentration was something I envied; he always seemed so composed, so sure of himself.

Meanwhile, I couldn't focus on anything except the thoughts swirling in my head. I wanted to talk to him—wanted to ask if he'd hang out again, if we could kiss again—but every time I so much as shifted, Mr. Moon would glance up, his sharp eyes cutting across the room.

"Quiet, Rivers!" he'd barked earlier when I leaned too far toward Jay starting a conversation. The warning was still fresh, and I didn't want to push my luck, but staying silent was torture.

My knee bounced under the desk, the rhythm of my nerves filling the space that words couldn't. The kiss we'd shared in the music block replayed in my mind on an endless loop. The way Jay had looked at me, the soft press of his lips, and the warmth that lingered long after—it was all I could think about. Being so close to him now, unable to say anything, made my chest feel tight.

I glanced at him again, studying the curve of his maw, the way his ears twitched slightly when he concentrated. He was beautiful in a way that made my stomach twist and my thoughts scatter.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. During one of Mr. Moon's lengthier tangents about the importance of parabolas in the real world, I leaned over, keeping my voice low. "Hey, are you free Friday night?"

Jay's pencil paused mid-stroke, and he turned his head to look at me. His eyebrows lifted slightly, curiosity sparking in his gaze. "I've got movie night with my friends. Why?"

"Oh," I said quickly, trying to sound casual even as disappointment flickered through me. "No reason. Just thought we could hang out again."

He gave me a faint smile, one corner of his mouth tugging upward. "Maybe another time?"

I nodded, forcing a shrug like it wasn't a big deal. "Yeah, sure."

Jay turned back to his notebook, his focus returning to the problems in front of him, but I couldn't stop watching him. My eyes lingered on his profile a moment longer than I should've allowed, my chest tightening as I remembered the way his lips had felt against mine. The memory was too vivid, too distracting.

Desperate to salvage the moment, I scrambled for another idea. The carnival popped into my mind suddenly—a flash of lights, the sound of laughter, the smell of fried food. Everyone liked the carnival, right? The problem was my schedule: football practice, swim meets, and a weekend packed with commitments.

That left Sunday night. It wasn't ideal; the carnival would be winding down, some of the rides already closed, but it was all I had. I glanced back at Jay, biting my lip as I debated whether to ask.

"What about Sunday?" I whispered, leaning closer again.

Jay's pen hovered above his notebook, his head tilting slightly as he considered. "Sunday?"

"There's a carnival in town," I said, my voice a little deflated. "I know it'll be late—probably half shut down by the time I'm free—but I thought maybe..." I trailed off, unsure if it sounded lame.

Jay turned to me fully this time, his eyes meeting mine. There was a flicker of amusement in his gaze, softening his expression. "Yeah, that could be fun."

"Really?" I asked, unable to hide the hopeful edge in my voice.

He nodded, his smile growing. "Yeah. Just text me the details."

"Cool," I said, leaning back in my chair as a flutter of excitement surged in my chest. My fingers itched to pull out my phone and lock down the plans right then and there, but Mr. Moon's stern glare was a solid deterrent.

The bell rang, cutting through the room like a lifeline. Mr. Moon's voice trailed off mid-sentence, replaced with the sound of chairs scraping against the floor as everyone began packing up.

I stuffed my notebook into my bag, the corners of my mouth twitching upward when I caught Jay glancing at me. He gave me another small smile before slinging his bag over his shoulder and heading toward the door.

I watched him go, my heart doing a stupid little flip. Sunday couldn't come fast enough and before i knew it i was willing the time to fast forward and found myself at football practice on Saturday morning.

The sun blazed down on the field, turning it into a sweltering oven as my team and I gathered in a tight huddle before the match. The heat was unusual for this time of year as we somehow was enjoying a very warm start to winter.

The smell of freshly cut grass mixed with the distinct tang of sweat filled the air as we huddled in a circle, our arms resting on each other's shoulders. As captain, the team looked to me to set the tone, and I wasn't about to let them down.

"Alright, listen up," I said, scanning the circle. Brad and Ben flanked me, their usual back-and-forth banter keeping things light-hearted, even under the pressure. Kyle, as always, stood a little apart, his arms crossed, and a scowl etched on his face. His impatience was palpable.

"We need to tighten up our defence," I said, pitching my voice over the hum of the crowd and the distant shouts of other teams warming up. "Hold them off in the first half, and we'll have a better shot at breaking through later."

Brad grinned, nudging Ben. "Hear that? Keep it tight back there."

Ben rolled his eyes. "As long as you don't trip over yourself, we'll be fine."

Kyle snorted but said nothing, his gaze fixed on the opposing team warming up.

The whistle blew, and we took our positions. The game started rough—harder than I'd expected. The opposing team came out swinging, their forwards pressing aggressively. Kyle threw himself into the fray, playing with his usual intensity—maybe too much. His tackles were borderline reckless, but somehow, they worked in our favour. By halftime, we were tied at zero, our defence holding strong despite their relentless pressure.

As we gathered on the sidelines, sweaty and winded, I gave the team a quick pep talk. "We're holding them. Now's not the time to let down our defences. Stick to the game plan, and we'll take this."

My words seemed to hit home, and as the second half began, something clicked. We moved as a unit, each pass sharp and deliberate. Brad intercepted a crucial pass near midfield and, without hesitation, lobbed the ball toward me.

I took off, sprinting down the field with everything I had. The defenders closed in, but I weaved past them, the ball glued to my paws. My heart pounded as I reached the box, lining up the shot. With a quick swing of my leg, I sent the ball sailing through the air.

The net rippled as it struck home.

The crowd erupted into cheers, and my teammates swarmed me, their shouts of excitement ringing in my ears. "Nice shot, Sam!" Brad yelled, clapping me on the back.

"Hell yeah!" Ben added, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

The scoreboard read 1-0, and with only a few minutes left, we fought to keep it that way. The final whistle blew shortly after, and a wave of relief and pride washed over me. We'd done it.

The energy as we left the field was electric. The team was buzzing, high fiving each other and making plans to celebrate. As we trudged toward the locker rooms, Ben fell into step beside me, his grin as wide as the sky.

"You coming to the carnival tomorrow night?" he asked, his tone casual.

I hesitated, caught off guard. "Uh, no. I've got plans," I said quickly, not wanting to elaborate.

Kyle overheard and smirked, falling in beside us. "Plans with who?" he asked, his voice dripping with insinuation. "Got some girl you're stringing along?"

"No," I said, maybe a little too sharply.

Kyle's smirk widened, his eyes narrowing with mock suspicion. "You're not hanging out with that dorky deer again, are you?" he said, his laugh cutting into me like a knife.

My skin flushed, a mix of anger and panic tightening my chest. "He's not—" I started, but Kyle cut me off.

"You know people are going to think you're gay if you start hanging around with guys like that," Ben chimed in, his voice casual but his words anything but.

Kyle nodded in agreement. "True that," he said, chuckling.

"That's not how it works," I shot back, my voice firm. "And he's a nice guy. You don't have to be a dick about him all the time."

Kyle's smirk faltered, replaced by a flicker of frustration. "Oh, whatever, man. He's just lame and can't take a joke. Don't tell me you're going soft, too."

I glared at him, biting back the retort burning on my tongue. Inside, though, I was spiralling. Was it that obvious? I wasn't even sure what this thing with Jay was, let alone how to explain it to anyone else.

"If you're ditching us for that lame dork, I'm gonna be so pissed," Kyle added, his voice dripping with contempt.

Brad and Ben exchanged a glance, uncharacteristically quiet.

"My mom and dad are being arses about me losing last week," I lied, hoping to deflect the conversation, it wasn't totally a lie, they were being arses, but I wasn't banned from socialising just yet and thanks to today's win, the pressure from my dad might be less. Kyle's expression shifted to one of reluctant sympathy.

"Your parents are the worst, I swear," he muttered. "I'd say sneak out, but we all remember what happened last time."

The memory made me smile despite myself. Kyle and I had snuck out to the park when I was grounded, and my dad had shown up, dragging me home in front of everyone. My dad even had the drainpipe moved so I couldn't climb out again.

"Not this time," I said with a shrug.

Kyle sighed but let it go. "Fine, but call us if they change their minds. Don't make me deal with this guy all day by myself," he added, jerking a thumb toward Brad.

Brad rolled his eyes but patted my shoulder. "I got to go, See you later Sam".

As they walked off, I lingered behind, the weight of the conversation settling over me. Blending in at the carnival wouldn't be hard, it would be unlikely that we would bump into each other but keeping my feelings for Jay under wraps? That was an entirely different challenge, and how my friends had reacted around Jay last time... well i didn't want a repeat of that, so now i had resorted to lying, I wasn't even sure who I was anymore.

Sunday

Sunday came too quickly, like I hadn't had a moment to catch my breath. Swim practice was brutal, and my coach was all over me. He called me out twice for sloppy turns, and I barely hit my target times. But none of that mattered, because all I could think about was meeting Jay. The anxiety churned inside me, making it hard to concentrate.

I kept imagining the worst—what if the guys saw me at the carnival? What would I even say to them? Would they notice? My anxiety hit harder than usual, my chest tightening at the thought of the possible confrontation, like i was sneaking around doing something illegal. By the time I made my way to the carnival, I was a bundle of nerves, walking with stiff legs as if I were carrying a weight on my shoulders.

The carnival was alive with energy. Bright lights blinked in every colour imaginable, the air thick with the sweet, sticky smells of popcorn, fried dough, and candy apples. Music blasted from the rides, mixing with the sounds of laughter and the excited screams of people on the rollercoasters and Ferris wheel. Everywhere I looked, there was something new to see—silly carnival games, booths offering giant stuffed animals, and colourful banners fluttering in the breeze.

I spotted Jay near the entrance, standing by a popcorn cart. He was wearing a simple hoodie and jeans, looking effortlessly cool and casual. The moment he saw me, his eyes lit up, and that familiar warmth bloomed in my chest, like everything in the world had aligned perfectly.

"Hey," I said, trying to keep my voice calm and not let my nervousness spill out. I didn't want to sound too eager.

"Hey," he replied, a shy smile spreading across his face. It was one of those smiles that made me feel like I could breathe again.

We wandered through the carnival together, taking it all in. Jay pointed to the Ferris wheel, and I made a mental note to suggest we ride it later. The towering wheel seemed like the perfect way to end the night, offering a breathtaking view of the whole carnival, maybe even of the town itself from up high. We stopped first at a candy floss stand, and I bought a big, fluffy pink cloud of cotton candy. We shared it, laughing at how sticky our fingers got as we walked, both of us smiling and glancing at the lights around us.

As we walked further, we came across a hook-a-duck stall, and Jay immediately gravitated toward it. The prizes were lined up along the booth, each one more enticing than the last. "Shall we have a go?" he asked, his eyes narrowing playfully as he eyed the prizes.

"Sure," I said, digging into my pocket for some change. I handed the stallholder my money, and he gave me a rod to try my luck. I aimed for one of the ducks in the middle of the pond, convinced they'd have the best prizes attached. I pulled up, but the duck slipped right off the hook, landing back in the water.

Jay laughed, a soft, teasing sound. "Are you even trying?" he asked, his voice full of amusement.

I grinned, determined to do better. "Watch this," I said, trying again. This time, I managed to hook a duck, and as I handed it over to the booth attendant, he let me pick a prize. It wasn't one of the big ones, just a small plush toy, but thinking about how much Jay liked the orca I won him, I chose a tiny plush fox. I handed it to him with a smile.

"For you," I said, my voice light and casual, though my heart was pounding, "your orca has a friend now" I laughed

Jay's cheeks turned a soft pink as he took the toy from my hands. "Thanks," he said quietly, his voice almost too soft to hear.

We continued walking, strolling through the maze of carnival stalls. We passed an air rifle shooting game, and we both agreed that the sights on the rifles were probably crooked, We came across a mirror maze, one of those classic mystery houses, and as we approached it, I could feel my stomach drop. I hated those places—they always made me dizzy and nauseous, the distorted mirrors twisting everything into something that felt wrong.

We kept walking through the fairgrounds, laughing at the cheesy attractions, trying to avoid the overpriced food stands. The whole place was alive, and yet, somehow, it felt like it was just the two of us in our own little bubble. When we reached the ghost train which was just about to stop rides for the night before they packed up, I couldn't help but grin. "Scared?" I teased, nudging Jay with my elbow.

He rolled his eyes and smirked. "Please," he said.

Inside, the ride was exactly what I expected—dark, full of cheap jump scares and fake fog—but it didn't matter. All I could focus on was how close we were sitting, how our shoulders brushed with every shift of the ride. Each accidental touch sent a jolt of electricity through me, my heart racing, though I tried to play it cool.

The ride was over quickly, like the ride attendant had sped the ride up to get through the final queue of furs, but I hesitated as we walked out. Part of me wanted to go again, it wasn't possible though, the chain across the queue now declared the ride closed, but then I remembered the Ferris wheel. It seemed like a perfect way to get away from the chaos, to be high above it all for a little while.

"Ferris wheel?" I asked, pointing up to the giant wheel, its lights glowing like a beacon in the night.

"Sure," Jay said, already reaching for his wallet. He handed over money for two tickets before I could even protest, refusing to let me pay. I argued with him for a moment, but the attendant was getting impatient, so I relented. The whole time, I felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness swirling in my chest.

We climbed into one of the small cars, and I couldn't help but notice how the seats were meant for four people. We should've sat across from each other to balance the weight, but we ignored that and squeezed into one side, which made the cart tilt dangerously. After a moment of awkwardness, we switched positions, sitting opposite each other.

The seats were surprisingly close, Jays knees squeezed together, my own legs either side allowing him some space and as the wheel began to move, Jay's knees inevitably brushed against mine. I couldn't help but notice it, the gentle pressure, the warmth of his body so close to mine. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was intense, and as the Ferris wheel creaked higher into the sky, I couldn't stop glancing at him.

"It's beautiful," Jay said, his voice soft as he leaned against the side of the carriage, looking out at the lights below.

"Yeah," I agreed, though I wasn't looking at the view. I was too focused on him, on the way his eyes seemed to shine in the soft glow of the lights.

The moment felt perfect, like it was just the two of us in the world, high above everything else, and up here there wasn't the staring eyes, the pressure of people watching us. And before I could second-guess myself, I leaned in and kissed him. It was brief, quick, but electrifying, and as soon as our lips touched, it felt like everything else faded away.

Jay's eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't pull away. "You kissed me," he whispered, his voice full of wonder.

"Yeah," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to back at the entrance but there were too many people..."

His cheeks turned pink, and he smiled shyly, the kind of smile that made my heart skip a beat. I grabbed his paw, gently intertwining my fingers with his. I wasn't sure why I did it, but it felt right, natural, like something that should've happened all along. We didn't speak much for the rest of the ride, but it didn't matter. The silence between us was comfortable, peaceful.

I wanted to kiss him again but all the time I felt like an assassin was watching me over my shoulder, the thought prevented me from making a move, instead we shared a glance into each others eyes, an unspoken kiss like we both understood the moment but for some reason couldn't act upon it, why was it so difficult to kiss him? its all I could think about all day, but the secrecy of it all was killing me.

When the ride ended, we reluctantly pulled away, but something had changed. Everything felt different. I wasn't sure if it was the kiss, or the fact that we had just shared a quiet moment together in the dark, or something else entirely. But as we parted ways to leave, I felt a knot in my stomach, as though something was about to go wrong.

And that's when everything started to fall apart.

"What the heck, Sam? So you did bin us off for this dork then?" Kyle's voice sliced through the night air, dripping with disdain.

By now, the others had spotted us too. "Well, well," Kyle sneered, his tone full of mockery. "Didn't know you were into deer."

I felt my blood boil at the insinuation, it wasn't their secret to know, it wasn't any of their business, the heat rising in my chest. Without thinking, I snapped back, my voice sharp and cutting. "Shut up, Kyle."

Kyle's smirk only grew wider as he leaned in, clearly enjoying the discomfort he was causing. "What, you ditch us to go on some gay Ferris wheel with this loser?"

I could feel Jay shrink back beside me, his shoulders tense as if he were trying to make himself as small as possible. My stomach twisted with guilt for dragging him into this mess. But I couldn't let Kyle get away with it. Not this time. Anger surged in my veins, sharp and raw, pushing me into action before I had a chance to think it through.

The words blurred, and the next thing I knew, we were on the ground, grappling. My fists moved almost instinctively, landing a solid punch to Kyle's shoulder before my mind caught up with the situation. The adrenaline rushed through me, drowning out everything but the desire to defend Jay. I could barely hear anything over the pounding in my ears, but then I felt Brad's hands grabbing at us, pulling us apart with surprising strength.

"Kyle, enough!" Brad barked, yanking Kyle away while I tried to regain my balance. My lip stung where Kyle's right hook had caught me, and I quickly wiped at my maw, feeling the sting of blood. My head was spinning, but I didn't care. All I could think about was Jay and how this was all spiralling out of control.

Brad led Kyle and Ben away, I was glad for the distance, the space to think as I was still trying to understand how i'd ended up fighting with my best friend on the floor, it was like we didn't even know each other anymore

I turned to Jay, who was standing there looking uncomfortable, like he wanted to disappear into the ground. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, his voice barely audible over the commotion. "I didn't mean to cause trouble."

"You didn't," I said firmly, my tone soothing but intense. "Kyle's just an idiot. Don't worry about him."

Jay shifted uncomfortably, his ears drooping slightly as he gave me a sad look. "But if it wasn't for me, none of this would've happened." His words felt like a weight pressing on his shoulders, and I could see the guilt in his eyes. "I didn't mean for it to turn into... all this."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair in frustration. I hated seeing Jay upset, especially when it wasn't even his fault. "Jay," I said gently, taking a step closer and grabbing his paw. "It's not your fault, okay? You didn't do anything wrong."

His sad expression softened a little, and I gave him a small smile, trying to reassure him.

I led him away from the crowds, finding a quieter spot under a string of fairy lights near the exit of the carnival. The soft glow of the lights created a peaceful contrast to the chaotic tension I could still feel bubbling in my chest. I let out a long breath, my heart still pounding from the rush of the fight, trying to calm myself.

Jay and I stood in silence for a moment, the night air cool against my fur, and the sounds of the carnival faint in the background. Finally, Jay spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry," he said once more, his words carrying the weight of his worry. "I didn't mean to cause—"

I interrupted him before he could finish, my voice firm but kind. "Don't apologize," I said, shaking my head. "Kyle's just..." I paused, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "He just pissed me off. I'm not letting him upset someone I'm dating."

Jay froze. I could see his cheeks flush, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop. "Dating?" he repeated, his voice soft, almost as if he were trying the word on for size, unsure if it was real.

I felt the nerves creep up again, unsure if I had said too much too soon. I shrugged, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "I mean, yeah, if you're okay with it," I said, trying to sound casual, but my heart was racing.

Jay's eyes widened, his lips pulling into a shy smile. "I'm definitely okay with it," he said, his voice warm with certainty.

The relief that washed over me was like a wave crashing against the shore, sweeping away the last remnants of tension that had been building up. I couldn't help but grin at the sight of Jay's smile, the weight in my chest lifting. Everything felt right in this moment, more than it had in a long time. This was it. We were something more, and it felt like the start of something incredible.

We stood there for a few more moments, just taking it all in—the sounds of the carnival in the distance, the soft glow of the fairy lights around us, and the feeling of Jay's paw still in mine. It was as if the world had quieted down, and it was just the two of us, finally understanding where we stood with each other.

But as a crowd of people passed us by I couldn't help but let go of Jays paw just like at the Ferris wheel, I wanted to be with him so bad but I just couldn't get past the secrecy of it all, it still had to be a secret, and now maybe Kyle suspected something

I didn't know you were into deer

His words rang through my head wondering if it were just an insult or if he knew.