chapter 12

12 I poured myself a drink as soon as Nat left. The rum was warm. Assuming ice would help, I added a couple of cubes to the glass. It felt good at first but the ice began to sting soon enough, giving me a headache. I emptied the glass in the sink, feeling sorry I had wasted some very good rum, and made myself another drink with plain water, which was much better. I sat on the couch nursing the drink as I caught up with social media. It was incredible how much and yet how little had transpired in thirty-six hours. Something I was reading reminded me of Cara and I called her, belatedly, and as the phone rang it struck me that I had gone from relishing time alone to wanting intimacy, emotional and physical, ever since Cara arrived on the scene.She picked up the phone. ‘Hey, dog!’ ‘Cara.’‘You said you would call in five minutes five fucking hours ago!’‘You said you would call back if I didn’t!’‘Evs.’‘What’s that?’ I asked. ‘Nothing. Rhea-speak.’ ‘Who’s Rhea?’‘Rhea is my bestie, lives in New Jersey. She’s coming over next month. You will meet her then.’‘Hmm. If you say so. What are you doing?’ ‘You wanna come over?’ she asked instantly.‘I do, but I don’t have a car. Can you come over, babe?’ ‘Okay, see you in a bit,’ she said and hung up.I gulped my drink down and decided to take a shower before she arrived. Standing under the hot water had the desired effect. My shoulder felt less sore though I still couldn’t raise my right arm over my head. I militantly scrubbed myself clean off all the hospital smells and donned a set of clean clothes. Back in the living room I ate a cookie, popped some of the pre-dinner pills and sat down with a book. Not wanting to drink alcohol again, I poured myself a glass of ginger ale. Drinking had become a habit now, so it was anything goes as long as there was a glass in my hand with liquid in it. Cara rang the bell an hour later.‘You took your time,’ I chided as I opened the door.‘I went home for a shower,’ she said, her face glowing, her hair still wet, looking incredibly young in denim shorts and a canary yellow shirt.I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed; she returned the hug tightly. When it seemed like she wasn’t going to let go anytime soon, I said, ‘Hey?’‘You scared me,’ she replied, her voice muffled by my chest.I pulled back. ‘I am fine, it was just a bump. I thought you knew, I’m sorry I couldn’t call right away.’‘It’s not about not calling me. And it wasn’t just a bump. I was really scared.’ She threw her arms around me again.I stood there by the door holding her. In my arms, she felt slight, smaller than usual and fragile.‘It’s fine, girl. I am fine,’ I comforted her, holding her close as we walked into the apartment.‘Do you want something to drink?’ I asked. ‘Nope.’She plonked herself on the futon in front of the TV and switched it on. I was hoping for some quiet but having her around was comfort enough so I ignored the noise. I sat down on the couch, legs outstretched, and began to read.About half an hour later, when the TV was getting quite noisy, I pleaded, ‘Can you turn that down a bit, please?’Surprisingly, not only did she turn down the volume immediately, she switched it off. She then stood up and began prancing through the house like a skittish kitten. I watched her as she walked around, flipped a magazine on the table, looked at the framed photos on the wall, ambled over to my desk and found the medicines and Nat’s note.‘Who wrote this?’ she asked, waving the note. ‘Nat. Why?’‘Oh. Nothing,’ she replied.I wondered what was going on inside her head.‘Do you have to take so many pills?’‘Yes, for a week at least. They want to make sure the bump does not cause any clots.’She looked up from the table, startled, goggle-eyed. ‘It’s nothing!’ I assured her, grinning.She made a sad face. ‘Come here.’She walked over and sat on my lap, straddling my legs. I put my arms around her, holding her tight, and buried my face in her neck. She smelt wonderful.‘Promise me you will drive carefully.’‘Easy. I don’t have a car any more,’ I replied. She pinched my arm.‘Can I get you something to drink?’ she asked sweetly. ‘Hmm. No.’‘Do you want something to eat?’ ‘Maybe later.’‘Do you want me?’I pulled back, grinning, and looked at her. ‘Say that again?’‘Do you want me?’I did. We kissed, slowly. I closed my eyes, giving in to the exquisite feel of her mouth, her lips and her tongue. Combined with the mild flavour of her lipstick her mouth felt like a ripe fruit. I pushed my hands under her shirt and caressed her back, feeling every bone under her smooth, satiny skin. She was like a gazelle.‘Your hands are warm.’I began planting small kisses along her collarbone while undoing the clasp of her bra.‘Mm hmm.’She pulled away and, in a smooth move, drew it out through the top of her shirt.I laughed. ‘How did you do that so quickly?’ ‘Shush,’ she said and brought her lips back to mine. ‘I want to see you,’ I whispered against her mouth.‘There’s too much light,’ she complained, then pulled her shirt over her head.Nestled in her cleavage was a pendant in the shape of a swinging monkey, hanging on a silver chain.‘I got this in Rio,’ she said, as I twirled it in my fingers. Her breasts bounced temptingly as she adjusted herself on my lap. Her nipples were pink and hard. I took one of them in my mouth and sucked, wetting it, biting it. She tookmy hand and placed it on her other breast.Rubbing my palm over her nipple in circles, I squeezed. ‘Love it,’ she moaned.‘You are so beautiful, Cara.’Just when my head was forming the next sentence and the ‘L’ word was threatening to pop in my head, the phone rang.‘Fuck!’ she cursed. ‘Let it ring.’ ‘That’s yours.’‘Fuck! Definitely let it ring then.’‘No, no. You should get it,’ she insisted as she climbed off my lap.Very reluctantly I got up to get my phone. It was Nat. ‘Hi . . . Yes, I did . . . No, not yet . . . Shoulder hurts alittle, head’s not too bad . . . When? . . . Okay . . . No, I am not drinking . . . Yes . . . Okay . . . Of course! Stop worrying! . . . Yep, can’t wait! Bye!’Hanging up, I felt guilty. I turned to look at Cara. ‘Was that Nat?’‘Yes. She called to check on me.’She made a sad face and said, ‘I don’t feel loved enough.’ She was standing by the bay window in just her shorts; she looked unbelievably sexy and I wondered how someone could be so comfortable naked. I held out my hand to her. With a bewitching smile, she slowly unbuttoned her shorts and let them drop to the floor. She was wearing a white thong. I had never ached for anything before this, in fact ache wasn’t a word I used often, but watching her walk towards me with that naughty look in her eyes, I knew it would cometo mind every time I thought of Cara.‘Take those off,’ I said, as I stood up and got out of my clothes.