0.39

William

I drummed my fingers impatiently against Nicholas's arm, waiting for the doctor to come back after a nurse told me he'd be in "soon".

I've been in the damn hospital for over a week and I hated it. My parents have been talking about taking me to a mental facility after I was able to leave the hospital and healed more, but I always vetoed the idea.

Whenever it was brought up again, Nicholas always told me that it would be a smart idea. I don't know how I feel about group therapy and being stuck in a building for a week or two.

Apparently it's not that bad but I still was hesitant to let myself stay with strangers.

I have to wait another week to stop using the feeding tube. I hated it, it hurt putting in or taking out, it was hard to screw on the cap to the plug, and it's going to leave a mark.

Currently, I just wanted to go home and be away from hospitals forever. My family visited often, but I liked being alone a majority of the week.

Nicholas has came back a few times, but gives me enough space. He knew I was upset with being there so he just always made sure I was calm when he saw me.

"I don't think it takes 30 minutes for a doctor to come." I grumbled, poking at Nick's forearm with a bored sigh. His eyes snapped towards me, blinking a few times before he hummed for me to repeat myself. "Nevermind."

"Sorry, I was just thinking." He sent me an apologic smile, rubbing his hand across the clothed leg, my fingers continuing to move against the arm. "You know, you're like a beach ball."

I furrow my brows, "do I looked bloated?"

He shakes his head, gesturing to the plug on my stomach, "no, it just looks like one of those beach ball plugs but bigger."

"I... I mean, I guess so." I continue to move my fingers against his warm, nerves rising in me.

I was currently waiting to see if the doctor approved me of being able to eat actual food along with the feeding tube. He said yesterday he'd tell me this morning, but I was already nearly noon and I was planning on eating actual lunch today.

"He'll be here soon." My mom assured me, noticing my antsiness. I just scowl. "Hun, there's other patients and-"

"He was supposed to be here 3 hours ago, Mom." I interrupted with a huff in frustration. "I just want to eat food again and not have formula pumped into me."

She sighs, "I know, honey. Just be patient." I only nodded, running my fingers over Nicholas's arm.

His phone dinged in his hands, "oh, my mom's here."

"Can see her!?"

Nick sends me a strange look, "she's not here to see me, that's for sure." I felt much better, a smile forming on my lips for the first time today. "She's really excited to see you."

"I'm excited to see her." I carefully pull my knees up, trying to shift into a much more comfortable position. I was careful not to hunch over to much because it would hurt the hole in my stomach, so it was a bit diicifult getting comfortable.

Brynn soon came up to the room, a bright smile on her face once she saw me. She was careful to hug me, which made me feel a bit sad that I was unable to give her a proper, good hug.

The four of us started a conversation that took my mind off of the doctor for a while and I was genuinely interested in the flowing, open thoughts.

"I think once Will comes back from the facility. you and Nicholas should come over for dinner." My mom suggested, glancing at me. My eyes widened and I was suddenly unsure how I felt about the idea. And when did I have to go to the mental facility? "If you guys want to, of course."

"That's a lot of people." I remarked while fumbling with Nick's fingers, squeezing onto the finger tips. "And I have to go to the mental place?"

My mom just nodded and a frown falls on my face, my shoulders slumping in sadness. I don't want to go to a damn place with therapist and strangers.

"We'd love to!" Brynn beams, her perkiness clearing some of the tension. "How many kids do you have again?"

The two had their own conversation while I just turned them out, rubbing my thumb along the tips of Nick's fingers. He noticed my sudden quietness and gloomy mood, kissing my temple quickly.

"It's just for a week or two, think of it as a vacation. A break from home and a place you aren't judged. I think it'll be good for you, love." He pressed his lips against my ear, nipping softly at the cartilage. "Don't stress about it."

I sigh, knowing he was right. A break from home and meeting new people doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

I just nodded at his words, moving slowly towards him. All I wanted was to wrap my arms around him fully and kiss him until my lips were swollen.

But I couldn't. It hurt to move and I could barely move my arm without the stitches shifting and begin to bleed again.

"I miss hugging you."

Nicholas just smiles, wrapping one of his arms carefully around my waist, "in a week or so, you'll be able to hug me all day."

"Can't wait."

I was bouncing with excitement as I stared at the food. Even though I didn't want to eat, I missed eating actual food so much. I missed flavor and something other then water and Nicholas's- I mean, just water run down my throat.

I stirred around the soup, my mind beginning to cloud with all the calories or salt it contained. My happiness quickly died down as I pushed away the soup.

My mom frowns, "is something wrong? You were just so happy to finally eat..."

I didn't know what to say. I hadn't even tried to soup, so I couldn't make an excuse that it was too cold or gross. The only thoughts swirling around in my head was how the soup would make me fat.

"I... I guess I'm just not hungry now." I mutter, staring at the bowl. It was kinda true, the tube feeding oddly didn't make me feel all that hungry. It was painful, yes, I had to get it surgically attached... But it kept me full with the weird formula.

Sometimes it would make me nauseous and sometimes it gave me... Bathroom problems... But it didn't do anything to increase my appetite.

"Oh." My mom remarks, clearing her throat. "You're going to eat some later, right? Before you have dinner."

"I guess..." Her eyes narrowed at me. "I mean, yeah, right."

Nicholas chuckles at my change of words, patting my hand.

His mom and mine decided they were going to leave and get food, Nicholas volunteering to stay with her. I frowned, urging him to go eat, but he insisted I stayed with him.

The two left and I was alone with Nicholas and the bowl of tomato soup.

"What's the real reason you don't want to eat?"

My eyes flickered to Nick and I just shrug, "not hungry." He didn't look convinced as he just blinks at me. "I don't know what's in it... Like the salt and calories and... I don't know about it."

Nicholas sighs, "there's more to food then just calories. There's nutrition and energy. Please, don't worry about how much sodium or calories or whatever. Just enjoy the flavor and realize it's to help you."

"Yeah, you're right."

"I know I'm right."

Rolling my eyes playfully, I lift a spoonful of soup up, staring at it as if it was poison. That's what I interpreted it as.

Nicholas pushed the spoon towards my mouth, the warm metal touching my lips. I bite my lip before I open my mouth, the spoon instantly entering.

I shuddered, my taste buds utterly confused on why I was actually giving it food and not just water. The soup ran down my throat, warming my insides.

It was nice to actually have something other than weird liquid filling my stomach. I took the spoon from Nicholas's hands, reaching for another spoonful.

I saw a smile on my boyfriend's face out of the corner of my eyes.

I don't know what I'm doing with this book atm. Pretty sure it's almost over. Idk... Knowing me I'll drag it out even longer...

Hope you're enjoying (to the 4 people reading :'(. Thank you 4) don't forget to vote, comment... Yeah, whatever

~Whoops