0.14

William

I hum along to the music playing from my phone, studying the food on my plate. Tilting my head, I grabbed the sandwich, gulping.

140 calories for both slices of bread, 80 for the slices of turkey, 90 for the mayoinoise, 0 calories for mustard, 5 for the lettuce, and 104 for the slice of cheese. So roughly 420 (haha) calories for just a simple sandwich...

(Is it bad that I knew all those calories by memory...?)

Maybe I could just eat half of it? Then give the other half to one of my sisters. The thought of all the carbs made my head spin.

I haven't checked my weight in a bit, mainly because I was scared of what the scale said. I wanted to get better, and I have... But I rather be skinny than gain weight...

Last time I checked, I was 110 pounds, I know now I'm close to probably 300 by now if I eat this entire sandwich.

I take a half of the sandwich, lifting it up to my mouth. Just eat it! How pathetic, you can't even eat half of a damn sandwich.

Biting into the sandwich, my taste buds instantly thanked me. I haven't eaten since Friday at the party and it was Sunday night. I spent a majority of yesterday at Anthony's and avoided eating.

My stomach grumbled at the small taste of good, begging me for more. But I also felt sick to my stomach at the thought of all the carbs.

I just contiued to eat the sandwich half, focusing on the music playing. I felt so disgusted with myself for eating so much carbs and for putting too much mayoinoise on the food.

Just breathe, don't be a wuss.

After I finished the sandwich, I felt nauseous as thoughts ran through my head.

You are going to get fatter from all these carbs.

How pathetic are you? You can't even eat a damn sandwich.

You shouldn't have even eaten at all today, you're going to gain more weight.

Go check the scale.

I listened to the last thought, pushing my plate aside. My heart thudded quickly in my chest as I wandered into my bathroom, my eyes landing on the scale.

Just get it over with and see the damage you've caused on yourself.

I step onto the scale, biting the skin on the inside of my cheek to soothe my nerves. I knew I gained a lot, I just didn't know how much I did. Over the past twoish weeks, I've been eating 'normally', so I know the numbers will be through the roof.

A small beep rang through the room, signaling that my weight was calculated.

I glanced down and my stomach dropped, the sandwich nearly coming out.

115.8

Nearly 6 pounds in 2 weeks?! Is that even healthy? I am so damn fat, I swear...

I darted towards the toilet, beginning to shove my fingers down my throat, knowing this is going to be a difficult process.

I am trying to throw up bread and I haven't drunk much today, so it's going to be hard to get it all out.

After pushing my fingers down my throat, the sandwich began to rise from my stomach. I pushed it up my throat, the acid burning my throat as I spit out parts of the sandwich and stomach juice.

It took a while for everything to come out, and afrerwards, I just sat there. I wanted to cry but I didn't. I just felt so ashamed, disgusted, but also empty inside.

I'm supposed to be happy though. My parents are together, I have great siblings, nice treats, I have an awesome boyfriend... I shouldn't be sad and numb inside.

Stop being an ungrateful little bitch and get up.

The bright, helpful side of my brain suggested a few things. Maybe you should call Anthony?He said he's there for you when you need him...

The negative, demanding other side of my brain shot back. You're just going to bother him! Leave him alone, he shouldn't have to deal with your patheticness.

I climbed up to my feet slowly, my head pounding. I walk into my room and snatch my phone from my side table, pausing my music.

My finger pressed on Anthony's contact, calling him hastily. I press the phone against my ear, listening to the ringing noise.

My heart hurt when it went to voicemail. I just call again, waiting impatiently for him to pick up.

I frown when the ringing stop and the call was declined.

Maybe he's just busy...

I scroll through the rest of my contact, my eyes stopping on Nicholas's name. Really? You're going to bother Anthony AND Nick? Just leave everyone alone.

I sigh, debating whether or not to just turn off my phone and be alone with my sadness. Call him.

Pressing my phone back against my ear, I waited to hear Nick's voice beam through the phone.

"Hey!"

I sigh in relief at the sound of Nick's voice, "hey Nick."

"What's up? Didn't think you'd call." He says, a loud beeping noise coming from the background. "Oh, sorry, that's just a timer for the brownies."

"Oh, if your busy, I can hang up. I didn't mean to bother you or-"

"Oh, no, no. You're all good. I'm just making brownies, nothing special. You're not bothering me." His words were rushed and it made me smile. I liked whenever he talked because he talked fast and a lot. It was cute. "Is there a reason you call me, though?"

See, he doesn't want you to talk to him. He's busy making chocolatey food! "I... I just needed someone to cheer me up, I guess... Someone who I thought would, declined my calls so I saw your contact and... Sorry if I'm annoying you or anything."

Nick laughs, "you're not annoying me, trust me. I can cheer you up!" He pauses for a moment before there was a loud crash and shatter. "Whoopsies! Sorry Mom!"

"What happened?"

"Oh, I just broke a plate. Happens all the time." Nicholas let's out a small giggle before something slams. "Okay, sorry, I was getting the brownies out. Anyways, how was your birthday? I saw the post about the party, but I was sick as hell Thursday and Friday. I'm sorry."

I smile gently, "I didn't even stay for the whole party, so it's okay. It was a good birthday though. And I'm sorry you were sick, are you better now?"

"Yes, much better! I made a lot of soup so it was bearable. Glad you had a good birthday." He replies, a smile in tone when he mentioned soup. "I was going to even make you cupcakes or something like that, but, uh, obviously I was dying."

I laugh again, my heart feeling not as heavy. "It's fine, I'm not a big fan of sweets. Thank you though." I fucking love sweets but they make me fat.

"I could've made you soup then." Nick suggested. I couldn't help but smile wider. "We should hang out sometime. I could make you food since I like cooking. Oh wait, you already knew that. Sorry I keep talking about food and cooking, I just like it."

I wave it off, glancing at the other uneaten sandwich half. My stomach was still upset from the other half of it getting forced out, but I was beginning to feel hungry with Nicholas talking about food. "No, it's fine. It's interesting that you like to cook. We should hang out, though. I... Uh... I don't really like food that much though."

Nicholas didn't speak for a minute, probably rethinking his life decisions on giving me his number or even meeting me. "You don't like food? What? How? Food is life!"

I laugh at his questioning, holding the phone closer to me. "I'm not much of an eater, I guess. I bet you make good food though."

"Wow... Never met someone who didn't like food. Kinda weird, kinda cool, not gonna lie." He then adds, "my food is alright, I guess. I just like to make food and I don't think it's that good sometimes. I don't know."

"I bet it's really good. I could try your cooking and tell you." Why would you say that?! You are going to get FAT! What do you not understand about that?! "How was your day?"

"Hm, maybe you could." He let out a small giggle. "Oh, and my day was really , super good."

"What made it so good?"

"Well," he started, excitement building in his voice. I smile, knowing he was about to talk extremely fast. "I made hot chocolate with this fancy chocolate with my mom. Then we watched my favorite movies, which are all the X-Men's. We watched all of them. Then my mom made some really good macoroni. Then we made some strawberry, blueberry, and banana smoothies. Then I made brownies and now I'm calling you! My life revolves around food."

I tried to gather in all the information that Nicholas just threw at me in one breath of his. Hot chocolate, X-Men, macoroni, smoothies, brownies, then me... Got it. "That seems exciting, you must get along well with your mom."

He laughs, "yeah, she's really all I have.." What about his dad? Should I ask? No, that's rude... But I'm nosy... "You can ask if you want, I don't mind."

"Oh." I mumble, clearing my throat."What happened to your dad?"

Nicholas paused for a moment, a voice speaking in the background. Nicholas just laughs at I'm guessing his mom before replying. "My mom got pregnant with me from a one night stand when she was 15."

"Oh wow."

He nervously chuckles, "ha, yeah. She was 16 when she had me. She was drunk at a party, so she doesn't know my father and I don't plan on ever meeting him."

"Well... Damn... That kinda sucks. I'm sorry you don't have a dad."

Nicholas let out a 'eh' noise, "it's whatever, I don't really mind. I'm close with my mom and she's really all I need." I couldn't help but smile, glad that he had a great relationship with his mother. "Anyways, how was your day? What did you do?"

Starve myself and sleep... "My day was okay. I just stayed in my room all day, honestly. I didn't feel like talking to my family."

"How many siblings do you have, again? Sorry, I must've forgot."

"4." I reply with a huff, leaning against the wall, my stomach gurgling. I glance at my stomach, quickly shaking my head at the thought. Don't you dare eat it! "When do you want to hang out? My parents don't mind if I'm out on school nights, as long as I'm home by 11. I don't have to work Tuesday, Wednesday, and this weekend."

Nicholas hums in thought, the image of him tapping his chin popping into my head, because I figured he'd be doing that. "Tuesday is fine. Do you want to meet up somewhere or come to my house or are you more comfortable at your house? You choose, I'm fine wherever."

I felt relieved that he suggested my house. He has a lovely house from the one time I saw it, but I loved my own home. But I'm not very interesting, so I'm worried he'll get bored...

"My house is fine, sorry if I'm boring here though. My sisters are cool though, so they'll make it bearable."

Nicholas let's out a charming laugh, "you aren't boring in any way, Will. If I thought you were boring, I wouldn't have suggested we hung out, now would I?" I guess he's right. "I'm sorry to do this, but my mom needs me to help her rearrange the living room. So I need to go..."

Oh... Well, I'm glad he was able to make me feel a lot better than before. "It's fine. Thank you for answering

me and cheering me up. I appreciate it a lot."

"Wait, so I did cheer you up? That's great! I didn't think I would." He exclaims, a smile in his voice. I laugh. "Have a good night, Will. See you Tuesday."

We exchanged a few more words before I hung up. The empty, sad feeling in the pit of my stomach disappeared while a smile appeared on my face.

Nicholas is low-key my favorite character I've ever thought of creating because his personality is based on my older sister. He's just cool and I wish I included him more, but he's just a random friend Will met at the skate park.

Hope you are enjoying (this goes to my I think 25 fricking reads)

~Whoops