22. Hot chocolate moments

Sarah Hart stood over a pan of warming milk while she stirred cubes of real chocolate into it until they melted. I would have settled for a spoonful of powdered cocoa in a mug of water straight from the kettle, but Sarah loved to do everything the right way.

Noticing I was shivering, she wrapped a wool blanket around me and sat me down at the breakfast bar.

I watched her shiny brown hair sway against her shoulders as the spoon circled the pan. Alec's mum embodied a calm and loving mother, which only made my heart ache even more after the fallout with mine.

She placed two mugs in front of me and took a seat by my side. Wrapping my hands around the closest one, I focused on the steam as it danced out of the hot chocolate.

"So start from the beginning. What did your father say?" Sarah said before taking a sip from her cup.

I went over the events of the afternoon and explained how my dad had been before today. The argument wasn't even mine to have, but in defending my mother, my father saw fit to hurl his abusive words my way. Despite my mum's lack of support or backbone against my dad, I didn't regret coming to her defence. Even in hindsight, I would do it over and over again.

"I don't understand what parent would say those things to their own child and as for your mother. Well, no comment. You don't even have to ask to stay here. Of course, make yourself at home. You've always been part of the family. Would you like to stay in with Alec or shall I set up the spare room for you?" She studied my slumped posture, her eye contact soft, then rubbed my forearm as she glanced away.

"Spare room, please. I don't think Alec is happy with me right now," I mumbled as I chewed on my fingernails.

"Ah, that explains a lot. Let's get that room ready then, and I'll run you a bath to warm you up. You're still shaking." Sarah put her now emptied mug into the sink and disappeared out of the kitchen.

I downed the rest of my lukewarm hot chocolate and followed after her. The water was already running into the bathtub as I walked past the bathroom. I hovered in the doorway and watched Alec's mum place a couple of towels on the bed, draw the curtains and turn on the bedside lamp.

The low lighting cast a yellow glow over the muted greys of the decor. The double bed looked so inviting with the plush bedding and all its scatter cushions. It was hard to believe the room was only used for guests as it held just as much of a homely feeling as the rest of the house.

"The bedding is fresh on this morning. If you don't have enough clothes, I'm sure Chloe wouldn't mind lending you some of hers. Just ask for anything. That bath should be ready. I'll turn the water off and leave you to it." She gave my arm a friendly squeeze and stepped out into the hallway.

I popped my rucksack onto the bed and emptied out the few items I had packed in a rush. I folded the clothes and dropped them on the chest of drawers along with some of my make-up.

I grabbed a pair of leggings, a top and some clean underwear, plugged my phone into its charger and made my way to the bathroom, so I could soak my tired bones.

Slowly lowering my body into the warm water, I slid down under the bubbles, submerged my head and lay there with only my eyes, nose and mouth above the surface. Drops of water dripped rhythmically from the tap, and soon my vision blurred as I stared at them and tears filled my eyes. I tried to stifle my sobs by covering my mouth with my fist as muffled voices echoed through from the hallway.

A loud bang on the door jerked me to sit up.

"Nat!" Bang, bang, bang, "Nat, can you play with me?" Lily shouted through.

"Lily, I asked you to wait downstairs. She'll be out when she's ready," Sarah scolded the youngest of her children.

"Lily? Give me a minute and I can play. I'll meet you in your room," I yelled back while drying myself with a white fluffy towel Sarah left out.

I never made it to Lily's room. I returned to the guest bedroom, with my old clothes balled up, to find Alec sitting on the bed waiting for me. He was hunched over, staring vacantly at the carpeted floor.

I shuffled closer until he noticed someone was in the room. His head snapped up. He looked exhausted. His bottom lip jutted out as his green eyes held mine. Leaning forward, he yanked my arm until I stumbled into the gap between his legs.

"I'm sorry." Alec rested his head on my stomach and slid his hands into mine after I abandoned the clothes I was holding onto the bed. "I shouldn't have just left like that."

"I'm sorry too."

"Hey, you have nothing to apologise for." He pulled me onto his lap, with my side resting against his chest and my feet up on the bed. His arms snaked around my waist. "I didn't like what I heard and couldn't listen to anymore, but that was my problem, not yours."

"I didn't mean for it to happen," I mumbled, my voice cracking.

"I know," he sighed as I laced an arm behind him and held him tight.

We sat there for a few minutes with my face nestled into the crook of his neck while he rubbed my back.

"Nattie, are you okay? Mum told me what happened with your parents."

No longer able to hold back my sobs, I broke down. Clutching onto Alec's T-shirt, the waves of my sorrow shook my body as tears soaked his shoulder. With all the static building up in my mind, I vaguely heard Lily ask her brother if I was going to play. He sent her out to get some tissues and to leave us alone.

Alec wiped my nose on a tissue and carried me up into the bed. He lay down, against my back and stroked my arms until my wails turned into whimpers. My head and heart were aching.

"It's okay, Nattie. Everything will be okay. I'm here," he gently soothed.

***

I rested in Alec's embrace until someone lightly tapped at the door. "Dinner's ready if you're hungry?" said his mother, her voice muffled through the wood.

"Be down in a minute, Mum." Alec brushed my hair off my shoulder and traced the curve of my neck with his finger. "Will you be okay going down or do you want me to bring some food up?" he whispered.

I rolled over to glance up at him as he tugged my body closer with his leg. Laying this close to him, I could feel his breath on my skin and see the tiny nutmeg coloured flecks scattered in his forest-green eyes.

"We don't have to go. We could just stay here," he breathed onto my cheek.

I absentmindedly racked my nails against his scalp, needing to get closer as if he was my comfort blanket. "We should go down. I don't want to be rude."

"She wouldn't think that but come on, let's get some food in that belly so it stops talking." On cue, my stomach let out an almighty roar. Alec chuckled and dragged us both up out of the bed. My recently washed hair left a damp patch on the pillow and down the back of my top.

Without thinking, I pulled my T-shirt off and found a dry one on the dresser to replace it. Alec stilled, his eyes widened and a dusting of pink coloured his face. I was so used to Alec, my best friend, seeing me in all states of undress that I had forgotten our relationship was shifting. Feeling my own cheeks heat up, I swiftly turned around to dress and avoid his piercing gaze.

When I regained enough courage to look back at him, he was pulling his jumper off. Without a word, he tugged it over my head, and I slipped my arms through. His fingers grazed my sides as he rolled it down. "You looked cold. Your skin was covered in goosebumps."

They weren't due to the cold.

As he turned to walk out of the room, I grabbed his arm to stop him. "Will you stay with me tonight? As my best friend. I really need my best friend right now."

"Always."

Alec's dad must have come home while I was in the bath. He was standing at the kitchen island, cutting up slices of cucumber to add to a salad his wife was preparing. I watched them work in sync, brushing up against each other at every opportunity. The wrinkles near his eyes creased as he laughed along to a joke Lily was recounting.

Ben, Alec's younger brother, waltzed into the kitchen, snatched a slice of garlic bread off the counter and marched through to the dining room. He barely grunted an acknowledgement as he passed us.

"Well, if it isn't little Natasha Wilson. How has life been treating you?" He momentarily ceased chopping to wipe his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Robert!" Sarah hissed as she swatted his arm, and he winced.

"Hi, Dr Hart. Things have been better." Alec grasped my elbow and gave it a light squeeze. "I'm okay," I mouthed to him. The last thing I wanted was for him to think I was falling to pieces, even if that's what it felt like.

"Now Natasha, you know it's Robert to you. I've never been your doctor." He tilted his head, a strand of silver hair falling into his eyes, and flashed a wide smile. "Come on children, let's eat." He dried his hands on a tea towel and gestured for us to head into the dining room.

Sarah dished out her homemade lasagna and followed after us. The dining room was set off to the side, between the kitchen and their living room. It was a modest-sized space considering how vast the house was. A large dark wood table took up most of the area but was overshadowed by the view from the floor to ceiling glass windows that opened out onto the country garden.

The rain was still drizzling across the grass, which against the grey sky only appeared greener. Down the left-hand side of the garden, I could just about make out the outline of the pond where a couple of ducks were enjoying the dreary weather.

Alec pulled out my chair and sat beside me. Lily argued that girls should stick together and wanted me with her, but Alec placated her by promising to surrender half of his pudding.

Sarah set our filled dinner plates in front of us and sat at the head of the table, opposite her husband.

"So what do you think of my new table? Isn't she gorgeous? We had her made by a new designer in London. All from reclaimed wood and the company vows they are eco-friendly. You know how important that is to me. Oh, and the lights-"

Alec swallowed a yawn and rolled his eyes. After kicking him under the table, we shared a discreet smile and tucked into our food while his mum droned on and on about her new finds.

Dinner was a bittersweet affair. I loved spending time with the Harts, and they definitely made me feel part of their family. Unfortunately, it was also a reminder of how messed up my own parents' relationship was.

Laughter erupted from the kitchen while Mr and Mrs Hart went to fetch our desserts. Alec spun round in his chair, his knees hitting my thigh.

"Have you warned Rosie?"

"What? No, it slipped my mind. Not that Dad ever says anything bad about her, but I should warn her about it all. They might still be arguing," I panicked.

Alec placed his hand over mine on my knee and brushed his thumb over my wrist. "Call her after dinner. I'm sure she can stay at Daniel's."

***

After we helped clear the table and stacked the plates in the dishwasher, I hurried up to the spare room, so I could ring my sister. Alec followed, grabbed the few belongings I had brought with me and took them back to his annexe.

"Hey, Nat." The sound of music playing in the background faded out. "Everything okay? Have you seen Alec yet?" Rosie asked, whispering the last part.

"Yeah, but I'm not ringing about that." I briefly explained everything, emphasising the fact that our father had lost his mind, and it probably wasn't the best idea to go straight home. They weren't due to leave the campsite until Tuesday, so she assured me she would spend the following days at her boyfriend's house. Rosie would have to go home by Thursday as she was flying out to Dundee with my mother, Daniel and his mother to scout out some accommodation options.

When I arrived at Alec's annexe, he was freshly washed and had changed into a pair of charcoal joggers and a navy blue T-shirt. His hair, almost black from getting wet in the shower, was sticking up all over the place.

I threw myself onto the sofa and closed my eyes. "I'm so drained."

"Want to go straight to bed? I can put a film on upstairs, then it doesn't matter if you fall asleep halfway through." He rocked on the balls of his feet with his hands in his pockets.

I wiped my palm down my face and groaned. "That sounds really nice. Don't you mind going up this early?"

Alec shook his head and grabbed my hand to lead me upstairs. We brushed our teeth and climbed into his bed.

He was propped up with a few pillows, clicking through the options on Netflix. I curled into his side and snuggled under his arm. The warmth radiating from his body was soothing. I could happily spend the rest of the week in this exact position.

"Stop, I like that show," I ordered as he scrolled past 'Jane The Virgin'. As I ran my fingertips over his abs, I felt his stomach tense and his breathing falter.

"Really? How can you like that rubbish?"

"Don't slate it. If you loved me, you would just put it on without complaining." I visibly swallowed. My heart thumped against my chest. A loose thread in his comforter held my attention as I picked at it, hoping Alec hadn't heard the last part.

Shuffling up the bed slightly, he coughed and handed over the remote. He heard me, alright.

"See that wasn't so hard," I laughed as a distraction and selected an episode I had yet to see.

"Oh yeah? You're so spoilt," he chuckled with me.

Alec slid back down the bed, his hands dangerously near my armpits. Sensing an imminent attack, I clamped my arms close to my body. He wouldn't dare. He knew I hated my armpits being touched. As kids, it was a fail-proof strategy for him to get his own way whenever we couldn't choose a game. I would always pick his side against Sian, so he would stop tickling me.

Alec assaulted my armpits in one swift motion. I wriggled in the bed next to him and struggled to breathe through my howling. "Stop Alec, Stop." We were both in fits of laughter as he continued to tickle my pits and then my sides.

When he was practically sitting on my stomach, I couldn't take it anymore. I tried kicking upwards to push him off, but my legs were tangled in the duvet. "Enough," cackling between each word, "I'm going to pee the bed." Tears ran down my cheeks, my hair covered most of my face, and I was sweating. There was nothing pretty about this picture.

He rolled off, straight back into the same position I found him in when we came to bed. His hair was messier than usual, but other than that, not a sign of being as flustered as I felt. My chest and neck were on fire and probably an ugly shade of red.

I scrambled off the bed, ungracefully tugged at my knickers to dislodge them from my bottom. Alec's attack left me with an almighty wedgie. A sly grin played on Alec's lips as he peered up through his eyelashes.

"I'll get you back when you least expect it. Just you wait," I threatened as I hurried into the ensuite bathroom. I peed, washed my hands, and splashed some water on my face and neck to cool down.

Alec had dimmed the lights while I was using the toilet. I snuggled back into his side, ready to watch my favourite pregnant virgin.

My hand rested over his heart, the beat strong and fast, and my ear pressed against his chest. I could barely concentrate on the TV as my hearing zeroed in on his pulse.

"I don't get it. So she has never had sex, but she's pregnant and not from her boyfriend?" The deep timbre of his voice echoing in his ribcage.

"Mmm, yeah. Watch, it explains itself."

"And does that bloke talk the whole way through the show?" My belly flopped at the huskiness of his voice. I was being ridiculous.

"Yeah, but that's one of the best bits. He's so funny."

"I still don't get it," he huffed, leaning into my hair.

"Did you just smell me?" I giggled.

"What? No. Oh, shut up and watch your silly show." I felt him smile against my head and then take an exaggerated sniff of my hair. "Now I did, and you stink."

I gave him a sharp jab to the ribs as we both cracked up.

We let each episode of the TV show play as I explained the plot and who each character was. Over an hour later, I was squinting, failing to concentrate on the storyline, and gave up on my explanations. My limbs were aching and my eyelids heavy. The screen started to blur until my breathing was shallow, matching Alec's, and then it was dark.

***