Chapter 19

Chapter 19

-Pax-

I slipped off Farley's bed and followed him to Caspian's office, or his room. I still couldn't quite get my head around the fact that they were the same space. I had learnt so much today, about werewolves and society. Everything here was incredibly different to living in Kian's house.

Farley's grip around my hand tightened. I could hear voices, one voice was Caspian's, but I couldn't tell who the other's were. The other voices sounded very strange to me; they were tainted in some way. I hadn't heard a voice like it, and it was making me uncomfortable.

"He's talking to my parents," Farley informed me. "I don't know why though."

My mouth dropped open at the information. The ones with tainted voices were Farley's parents? Surely not. Farley's voice wasn't strange in any way; it was lighter then the majority of the males I had met, it was light-hearted. "Why do they sound like that?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"Like what?" We were waiting outside of Caspian's door. "They don't sound any different to me."

I raised my free hand and rolled my wrist. "It's hard to explain, but it sounds strange." I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt. This is apparently how Farley's parents usually sounded, it's probably perfectly normal, I might've just insulted them.

"I can hear them outside the door," Caspian said from inside his room. "Your son is very nosy."

"I am not," Farley announced as he entered the room. "We're discussing something before coming inside, thank you."

I was dragged after him by my hand. He had to pull quite hard, my body was telling me to run away from the room which belonged to the alpha of another pack.

"Hello, Honey." I couldn't tell where the voice was coming from. I knew that it was in front of me, maybe to the left. But it sounded so strange. The voice broke once or twice, pausing at strange times. "How are you?"

"Not bad, Mom. How are you both?" Farley said from in front of me. He walked forward, pulling me with him.

"Alright, we just got home from the movies." So, this was Farley's mother. I would've been more worried about meeting this new person for the first time, but two things were stopping me. The fact that I had met several new people today, and the fact she said she was at home. I was sure she didn't live in this building; I had seen all the rooms. How could she be home, yet be here?

"It was utter rubbish," a male voice interjected. "Waste of eight pound." I'm assuming that this is Farley's father. He didn't sound too angry about the loss of money, rather he seemed in a good mood.

"Ignore him, he's just salty his popcorn wasn't," Farley's mother said. I didn't understand her words, but Farley and Caspian laughed. "Is this Pax?"

How did she know my name? Did Caspian or Farley tell her? My breathing became noticeable and quickened. I found myself stepping backwards. Farley's hand got tighter once again.

"It is," Farley replied and brought me forward. "Say hello, Pax. These are my parents, Lana and Brin."

I didn't know where to turn, I was getting overwhelmed. "Hello." I waved with my free hand, still trying to hide behind Farley.

"Awe, he looks so sweet," Lana gushed. "He looks so much like his parents."

I didn't like how she was talking to me like I wasn't there, but I didn't want to say anything. I wanted to run away and think about every mistake I had ever made until I cried myself to sleep.

"He does," Brin agreed. "I don't think anyone could mistake him for anyone else's son."

I didn't know how they could see me; all the questions were building up. If I looked so much like my parents, and what Brin said is true, then how come Kian didn't mention anything? I didn't know what I looked like, and I only had a slight memory of my parent's appearance.

"See, I thought it would be best to call your parents because they were rather close with the Crnmikoh's." Whilst Caspian was continuing to explain, my mind was focused on that name. I recognised it immediately. I hadn't heard my surname in years. Nobody ever used it, causing me to separate myself from it.

"Yes, we wondered what happened to their son." Lana brought me back to reality. "The last time we saw him was when he was five. He and Farley loved to play together."

My head turned towards Farley's direction. We used to play together? I didn't know why that made my cheeks warm up. We technically didn't meet for the first time a month ago. I felt like that shouldn't alter my perception as much as it did.

It was then that the situation hit me. I was learning about myself and my past. I wasn't just entering a new world of busses and talking to people who aren't really there. I was learning about when I was a child, before I had built solid memories.

"I'm so pleased that you found each other again," Brin said. It was a different tone to what he had used when talking about the movie. It was kind and nostalgic. "It's been weighing on our minds for over a decade."

"I'm glad I met him too," Farley said whilst rocking on his heels. "So, can he stay?"

What? Staying? I knew that I'd be here for a while, but I didn't know about staying. I still had a place back at the packhouse. I still had my room, my clothes. I would miss Alder; I'd miss the routine which I had created.

"That's up to Pax," Caspian said with a sigh. "We don't have a lot of space here. I'm sure that we could work something else out."

"I don't want to get anyone into trouble," I muttered. "Kian will be angry, he's already angry."

"Kian? As in the alpha of the Hischwich pack?" Brin gave a whistle. "I feel sorry for you lad, my dad used to be in that pack. He saw Kian grow up there. Kindest man you'd ever meet, wouldn't say any word of praise to Kian's parents."

I didn't want to admit how interested I was in this information. Kian had been cold and bitter since I could remember. He never gave sympathy, besides when Daphne and Alder came. Rosary and I had discussed it that night, when the mother and son first came to the house. We thought that it was Kian turning over a new leaf, that there would be more positive changes to come. That wasn't the case at all. Kian didn't get worse, rather he pretended like nothing happened.

Farley nudged my shoulder, once again bringing me back to the real world. My head lifted and I actively tried to make words out of the sounds I was hearing. Lana said, "How long have you been there? The last thing we heard was that you had to live in a temporary household."

I rocked too far forward on my feet, causing me to stumble a few steps. "I've been there for about ten years," I replied.

"Ten years? That's far too long-"

"Dad, we don't need to start doing this."

"No Farley, we do. I know Kian, I know people like Kian. That poor boy has probably never left the forest in ten years and has probably been neglected to near death."

My head had decided that pretending to look at the floor was a wonderful idea. I couldn't see the wood, which was below my feet, but it was fascinating.

"Dad, we know what happened back at the house. You're not wrong," Farley said. "But we don't want to keep going on about it, right? We'll learn about it over time and when Pax wants to tell us."

"Farley's right honey," Lana said. "Let's not overwhelm him."

"I'm just showing worry," Brin argued.

"We know, we appreciate it, and we are also worried." Farley said, putting a hand on my shoulder. His touch was warm through my shirt. I didn't know when he had let go of my hand, but it must've been a while as my hand was cold without his lingering warmth. "I'm going to go and see if we can sort out sleeping arrangements, I've heard the settee is a pretty comfortable place."

"So, I'm sure you won't mind sleeping on it?" Caspian teased. "If Rowan's still awake, he can sleep on it. I think he's the only one who would fit on it, anyway."

"Unless you two want to shar-" Lana started to say, but her voice was muffled.

"They shared a toddler bed at one point, they're not sharing an adult bed," Brin explained. I suppose it was his hand which was muffling Lana's voice.

After more muffled noises, Lana said, "Goodnight boys. Sleep well." I was turned around and walked out of the room.

"Goodnight," I tried to say over my shoulder.

"Love you," Farley shouted.

I was rushed back to Farley and Rowan's room. We were the only two there. Yelling was coming from downstairs; I'm assuming it was the aforementioned teaching Clementine and Rowan how to cook shenanigans.

"I'm so sorry about that. It was so embarrassing," Farley said and moved to his bed.

"I don't think so. I thought it was especially useful, it brought up a lot of interesting points and things I hadn't thought about in a while." I felt like I was defending his parents, I didn't know why I would be defending them, or defending anyone for that matter. It felt strange to talk this openly. "I didn't know a lot of that, I'd even forgotten my surname."

Farley made a pained noise. "I don't like the negativity that brings me." He sighed and pulled my hand. "You look like a statue, a cute statue, but a statue nevertheless."

I opened my mouth to argue, I didn't quite get what he was saying, but I knew that cute was positive. Alder was always described as cute; I didn't see the correlation between myself and the child.

"I learnt some things too." He pulled me onto the bed. I thought it funny now, how Brin had reacted to me sharing a bed with Farley. It was just somewhere to sleep; I didn't see anything bad about the potential situation. "I didn't know that we used to know each other."

I couldn't remember Farley at all, the memory was far too distant. I shouldn't have expected him to remember me. "It was years ago," I told him. "Over ten years ago. It's wild that we ran into each other."

"It is," Farley agreed. "We must be very lucky."

I snorted. "I'm not sure I would consider myself lucky."

He shifted on the bed. "I suppose it's a matter of opinion." His shoulder met mine. "But maybe your luck is just coming."

The food was really nice that evening. I wasn't used to eating a lot, so I didn't really feel bad when Rowan ended up finishing my plate. I had a pleasant time talking to Iris, she was very willing to talk to me for hours about what she studied. It was all new to me, so it took me quite a while to understand even the simplest of concepts. She seemed to enjoy the conversation, with a few bursts of laughter scattered. I had completely forgotten about my dislike of eating in front of people, I was at ease.

The relaxed atmosphere didn't last long. That night, I felt bad for taking Rowan's bed, for intruding on their lifestyle. I wasn't really a fan of lending Farley's Pyjamas, as comfortable as they were. I didn't like the change in my own routine, I didn't want to imagine the stress I was putting everyone else through. I didn't want to move from the bad for the whole night, in fear of waking anyone up. Yet, I could only sleep for a couple of hours.

I didn't know what time it was when the birds started to tweet, but I thought that it was about time for me to sit up and do nothing. Even the quietest of footsteps could wake someone up, I didn't trust myself. So, I waited.

Happy holidays everyone!

I wasn't going to update- but then I figured, why not?

I don't know if there'll be a chapter on Monday, but knowing me, there's a high chance :D

So, question of the chapter!

What's your favourite holiday?

I actually really like Halloween, I love the spooks and the gothic aesthetic that I see everywhere.  I really appreciate the various aspects and traditions related to honouring the dead and finding beauty in the dark