Chapter 13

Chapter 13

-Pax-

I was stopped by the front door when I returned. I flinched at the hand on my shoulder and stopped with my foot in the air. I had hurried back to the packhouse after the conversation with Farley, in an attempt to reduce the suspicion that Kian already has.

"I know what you're doing," Daphne declared. "I don't know why you're doing it, but I'm not going to let you get away with it."

At least you know what I'm doing, please share. I wanted to be snarky, but I knew that Kian or Finn would be able to hear this conversation if I spoke loudly. "What am I doing?" I raised an eyebrow.

She still hadn't moved her hand from my shoulder, it was starting to become uncomfortable. "You're trying to betray the pack." She sounded so sure of herself, I felt sorry for her. "You're infiltrating the pack with outsiders."

"Outsiders like you?" It was harsher then I meant it to be, but she was starting to become more accusing then I was comfortable with. I pulled my arm out of her grasp and stepped backwards. "Don't forget, you weren't an original member of the pack. You and Alder-"

"-Don't bring Alder into this."

"You and Alder came here for Kian's help, which he provided. If we didn't accept new people when we had to, you wouldn't still be living here." I nodded once and tried to enter the house again, but I was pulled back by a hand wrapped around my wrist.

"Pax, be careful. I'm not afraid to throw you under the bus." There's that word again, 'bus'. I had only ever heard it in this context before meeting Farley. That was why I questioned it, I thought it was something unique to Daphne, as she was the only one who used it. Apparently, I was stupid.

I pulled out of her grip again and darted to the kitchen. I made a sandwich in under three minutes, judging by the noise outside, and headed up to my room to eat it in some peace. I would have training before I went on patrol tonight.

I was going to be training in my wolf form, something I hadn't done before. I nibbled at my sandwich as shouts and growls drifted in through the window. My heart was thumping in my chest, each beat uncomfortable. I felt like I was in danger.

It was my fault for conversing with Farley in the first place. I knew that letting Daphne and Alder into the pack was a massive decision for Kian. The pack's past was something which was barely spoken about, before I and Rosary joined. It was something nobody dared bring up.

I was so distracted with my thoughts; I had nearly started to nibble on my fingers. I groaned and softly kicked my bed. I didn't want to train today. I had just gotten over the fact I wanted to train with them, now I'd rather do anything else. I was still aching from my last training session; this one would involve scratching and biting.

I leant against my windowsill; the bird's tweeting had dulled. The coolness of the window barely touched my back. I breathed in deeply, smelling the fresh pine of the forest. My shoulders relaxed as I rolled my neck.

Then the window shook, and a loud bang pierced my ears. My heart jumped out of my chest, and I leaped away from the window. My breathing quickened, my eyes scrunched, and I cursed. Laughter erupted from outside, mainly Finn's and Cedar's. I rolled my eyes and moved to sit on my bed. I've got about an hour until I was needed. I had been enough entertainment for them today.

I tried to sneak downstairs in order to put my plate in the sink. But as I was walking past the living room door, I was interrupted.

"Ready for this pup?" Cedar asked me from the middle of the living room. "You're gonna get pushed to your limit."

"And you'll have an audience," Rosary chimed in. Her words were probably meant to be friendly pressure, but my hands become clammy at the thought of them watching me train in my wolf form. "I'm sure you'll do great."

"Don't make him hopeful," Cedar shushed her, the sound of a kiss following. "We don't know anything about his fighting skills."

He was right, nobody knew how abysmal my fighting skills are as a wolf. I'm sure some of them had money on whether or not I still had my wolf. They were probably ready to chuck me into the forest with nothing but the clothes on my back.

I shook my head and exited the house. I wanted to get this over with as soon as I could.

"Right, now you look redder than a tomato, we can start." Finn was on the other side of the garden to me. His words dragged on a little bit; he must be shattered after all the training he had done today. "Turn into your wolf and we can start. I'm not going to go easy on you."

Privacy wasn't a thing when it came to this wolf pack. I took my shirt and shorts off and tried to concentrate on my wolf whilst taking off the rest. The quicker I turned into my wolf, the less embarrassment I'd feel.

The uncomfortable feeling of my bones shifting, breaking. The sensation of organs shifting to suit the shape of a wolf. My teeth shifting and sharpening. I had to focus on the various sensations, I didn't have anything visual to hang onto. I'd heard that simply visualising your wolf would make shifting far easier, 'picture your wolf clearly in your mind, the colour of your fur. Picture your surroundings, how tall you are, the clearness of your vision'. I would hear Finn say that at least once a week,

I didn't have much time for embarrassment as I was soon standing on four legs. I stumbled forward, I wasn't used to feeling the dirt under my paws. The bird song was back to its deafening volume, I could feel the worms squirming beneath the ground. I shook my body, to resume feeling all throughout it.

Gasps came from inside, notably Rosary's and Daphne's gasps. I assumed that they were the ones losing money one ether or not I still had my wolf. Murmurs were also audible, but I didn't put any effort into distinguishing words.

"That's a surprise," Finn said before shifting into his own wolf form. I didn't know how this was training, he wasn't talking to me. I wasn't aware if wolves had any form of communication whilst they were in wolf form, save for growls. It's like learning a whole new language, if you don't interact with them, then you wouldn't understand what is meant by the sounds which erupt from the other.

I knew enough to duck and roll as soundwaves rushed my way, getting louder and louder. I was disorientated, I didn't know where I was in comparison to the house or Finn. My breathing was difficult to control, the panic of this new situation setting in.

I felt the dirt move once again, the vibrations sending pulses through my legs, telling me to jump. I landed sprawled out, stomach on the ground.

Finn growled at me; I was doing something wrong. It was probably because I was running. I wasn't fighting, but my first instinct was to run.

I huffed and stood my ground. I dug my paws into the dirt, bringing the aforementioned worms up to the surface. The vibrations came again, I was prepared for it. I leant on my hind legs and pushed him away with my paws. He came in again, his teeth narrowly missing my neck.

I scratched his stomach and he moved backwards. We circled each other. I followed his steps; I couldn't have gone far wrong if I followed what he was doing. He lunged. I rolled out of the way and growled. I lunged, grabbing him by the side of the neck with my teeth, not enough to pierce him. I threw him away from me.

He was quick to recover, barrelling into my side, and getting on top of me. I tried to headbutt him off me, succeeding after the third try. He was beside me, so I took the chance to get on top of him, my head close to his neck and paws on his chest.

I would've won.

I backed away and waited for him to get up. Both of our breathing was loud. He was slow to get to his feet, he walked slowly around me. I wanted to shrink in on myself, but I wasn't quite sure how to do that in my wolf form. I wanted to disappear.

"That was awesome!" Cedar exclaimed as he burst through the door. I scrambled away from the house, now realising how close I was to it. "You're a natural." I wanted to run, please let me run.

"Such a strange wolf too," Rosary commented. I didn't know what she was on about, and I didn't want to know. They were the only two who had left the house. We weren't allowed in the house in our wolf forms, or else I would've darted inside.

"Go to your room for now," Finn said from behind me. I jumped again ins surprise. "I think Kian would want to talk to you before patrol." My clothes were thrown at me, hitting me in the face and landing on top of my paws. "If you get out today."

I felt like a child as I got ready and went straight to my room. The very act of sending me to my room made me feel like a child who had done something wrong. I didn't know what I had done wrong, but there was a nagging feeling in my gut which made me feel uneasy.

I played with the strange concoction which seemed to be drying up. I kneaded the mixture to bring some flexibility back into it, only succeeding a little bit. So needless to say, I was not in a good mood.

I resorted to doing some stretches in the centre of my room. The bottom of my back wasn't very comfortable at the moment, feeling like something was lodged into my spine. All my muscles ached from the sudden strain which I had put them through the past few days.

A single loud knock vibrated my door, throwing me off balance. I stumbled forward, my head narrowly missing my windowsill. No voice came from the other side, telling me it was Kian. I hurried out of the room and to his office, waiting behind the door to be let in.

"I believe the knock on your door serves as a come in, don't you?" Kian said from the other side of the door. I bit back a comment and entered.

Kian was sitting behind his desk, there weren't any other sounds in the room. It surprised me, Finn was usually here. "Sit," he demanded. I took in another deep breath; he didn't usually use that tone.

"Did I do something wrong?" I slowly sat myself down in the chair. The smell of smoke became more apparent as he exhaled through his mouth. I flinched back a little bit but didn't comment.

"Not trouble necessarily." His chair squeaked and the floorboards creaked. I shuffled down in my seat. "Finn told me some interesting news. I wanted to pick your brain for what you know."

I furrowed my eyebrows and shuffled again; he was somewhere to the right of me. "What information?" I started to fidget with my fingers.

He continued to move, his footsteps led him to be behind me. "Finn said that your wolf has black fur." He spoke slowly.

I didn't know what to think of that, it was nice to know what colour my fur was, it'd help me picture it from now on, but I didn't see the importance. "Okay?" I asked. "What does that have to do with me being here?"

Kian took in a deep breath, the noise incredibly loud in the otherwise silent room. "Black wolves are nearly extinct."

I huffed and then bit my lip again. Of course, my wolf had to be something which was on the verge of dying out. It seemed almost ironic that my wolf was even more different to others. "I still don't see the importance."

Kian groaned, his hand clamping down on my shoulder with a steel grip. "The important thing is, you're a rare one Pax. We've got to be more careful with you."

I paled, would this mean no more patrol? No more walking? My shoulders tensed under his grip. "What do you mean?"

"It means that you aren't leaving this house again."

I was losing my mind. I felt like I couldn't breathe the majority of the last month. There was always someone in the house, which wasn't new, but they were near my room door. Sometimes, they were even stationed inside my room. At first, they were assigned to keep an eye on my every move, but enough complaints were given to Kian about my lack of movement to change the command. They drifted further from my room as the hours went on, but I couldn't stand it.

I couldn't do anything in my room whilst they were there, they messed up my things so I couldn't remember where they were, and I felt like I was annoying them by moving. They'd even installed a hole in my door to make sure I was still there.

At least I got to spend time with Alder, under the very watchful eye of Daphne. I'd like to think that we had some fun together, those hours were some of the ones which were near manageable.

I continued my training with Finn. I could tell that there had been a significant difference in the amount of exercise I was doing, I felt stronger, but I also felt much more tired. I was able to fall asleep instantaneously as my head hit the pillow most nights if there wasn't someone in my room.

Once it met thirty days, I had lost it entirely. I had just finished training and needed a shower. Something that everybody knew I did, as I had been doing the past month. I spent a prolonged amount of time under the running water, letting the liquid soothe me and get rid of all the dirt I had stolen through training. I was captivated by the scent of apples, berries, rose, and eucalyptus.

Until the bathroom door opened. I froze for a few seconds and rushed to place my hand on the side of the shower curtain.

"Pax?" The other side of the curtain started to open. The voice was Cedar's. "You in there?"

"Yes," I said. "Can I help you?" I tried to keep my voice as steady as possible.

"You've been in here a while; I was asked to check up on you." He sounded as fed up as I was. "Just, finish up soon please."

I nodded my head, even though he couldn't see me. "Right, will do." I made a point of turning the water off, still waiting for him to leave. "I'll be out soon."

He didn't say anything, but he walked away and shut the door behind him. I got my towel, wrapped it around myself and exited the shower. I spent some time drying my feet on the carpet and making sure my hair wasn't dripping wet. Then I headed straight to my room.

If I hadn't heard him ask the question, or if he was just a little bit more impatient, I would've lost the last shred of privacy I had. Shifting into a wolf was very different to being walked in on when you're showering. I had grown skilled at not showing anything whilst shifting, yet there's no avoiding it

I locked my bedroom door and paced, towel still around my waist. I wanted to get out of this, I wanted to breathe in the fresh forest air, hear the trickling of water which naturally flowed through rocks. I wanted out of this house.

I darted around my room, grabbing whichever clothing I could find. It was probably a vest and shorts; I'd been wearing those non-stop recently. I put on my trainers and stood in the middle of my room for a few minutes.

If I got caught, I'd be in far more trouble then I would have been a month ago. If I didn't get out, I'd be stuck here under the watchful eyes of the entire pack. I took in a deep breath. Should I go through the window, or the door?

QUESTION OF THE DAY!

What would you NEED in your bag/pocket when going out?

Personally, I don't like leaving the house without a drink- mostly a bottle of flavoured water- because I tend to drink when I'm anxious, which is quite often. It's a good excuse to take a break from walking and have a small drink.