[21] Mystery of Love

VIA

I didn't know what to do with myself other than run up to my bedroom and think about my life as a whole. I mean, I just got kissed. By a boy. That I actually liked. This was monumental.

And yes, I know that that sounds ridiculous and for a lot of people at school kissing someone wasn't really anything really special – not to mention they'd probably done a lot more by now – but for me this was my first. I'd literally gone from being completely alone at school to having an... I didn't know what. I didn't know if the kiss meant that we were... well... you know... dating. I had no idea, and with romantic comedies and books to go by, I wasn't having much luck sorting it out. Should I just ask him? Would that make me sound desperate? I was trying not to think about Noah in the bracket of people that I'd already explained above, but I couldn't help wondering if this just mean nothing to him. What if it was an accident and he didn't mean it?

Ugh, this was impossible!  The only solution I could come up was to ask the only person I knew that could easily decipher the ins and outs of this whole thing. I had to call Katie.

XXX

"So what do you want to ask me?" We were sat on her bed with the tattered notebook placed between us. Luckily, she wasn't doing anything tonight, and I had a feeling that she was happy that I offered to come over. She hadn't said anything specific but the way she'd avoided my eyes when she told me that she was home alone was slightly weird. 'My parents are just busy at the moment' she'd explained after I'd given her a questioning look.

This is going to sound really weird and is going to take a lot of explaining but I really need help with it and you're the best person to go to.

"Now I'm curious and honestly need a distraction right now!" She smiled.

Why what's gone on?

"Just more Mackenzie," She explained tiredly "She won't leave me alone despite the fact that she said she was ignoring me. It's exhausting"

Just ignore her – if anything it shows that she misses you. You're obviously no match for Carrie who couldn't tell the difference between two blonde shades. Honestly, it was obviously honey blonde!

She laughed and it felt nice that someone found my jokes funny. "I know it is just criminal!" She rolls her eyes playfully "Anyway – I'm still in the dark!"

Ok, ok! Basically.... Noah kissed me.

"WHAT?!" She practically squealed and I winced "How did this happen?"

Well... after being paired up for the English coursework, we ended up talking quite a bit and, I don't know, he ended up being made to go to the BSL classes by Mrs Porter so we can communicate easily and we hang out most break times.

"So that's why you were busy at break!" She exclaimed "I know who to trust with my secrets honestly how have you kept that so quiet for so long?!" I laughed, shrugging slightly "But... Mackenzie?"

And this was always the problem – things got really awkward because well... Mackenzie.... Especially as she had a massive go at me after Biology today.

"Wait what do you mean?"

She called me ugly, said that people couldn't stand me and that you... she said that you were only speaking to me to get back at her.

"Seriously?" She looked at me like I was fragile. I hated that she thought of me as someone who would break that easily "Well that's something that is one obviously not true and two proves that Mackenzie's a bitch again. I definitely am not talking to you just to get back at her – you know that right?" I nod my head and wonder if this makes me look weak.

Anyway, so I sort of... had a go at Noah for it... and in the end he said he had broken up with her anyway

"YES!" She fist pumps the air and I give her another questioning look "Sorry I just... well let's just say I'm happy that they're no longer a couple – especially if I'm going to ship you two!"

And that's the big problem – he kissed me after this but I don't know....

"You don't know if it means you're dating or not?" I nod quickly, glad that it seemed like Katie knew more about this situation than me. "Ugh this is a hard one, but if he kissed you after telling you that he'd broken up with his girlfriend... it seems likely that you'll end up sailing!"

Sailing?

"One BIG FAT SHIP!" I couldn't help but laugh at that; she said it so enthusiastically. I was really inexperienced with all of this – it wasn't like I'd ever really had a proper relationship or anything. "Anyway, sorry this is going to sound really stupid, but what's BSL?"

British sign language

"Oh wow that's so cool!" She actually looked like she meant it as well. Maybe we could be really good friends. "You'll have to teach me some sometime – you and Noah both!" She winked and I rolled my eyes, not losing my smile.

XXX

Saying that I was nervous for the next day would be a massive understatement – I was terrified. I tried to remind myself of everything Katie had told me, but I was still afraid that Noah would tell me at break that the whole thing had been a mistake. I mean, come on, I wasn't exactly the kind of girl that he could take to parties or anything. I still couldn't believe that he had actually kissed me to be honest.

My palms emulated sweat as both Chemistry and Computer science dragged like they were each a decade long.

"Have you done the evaluation for the major project yet Via?" Mr Smith asked me, waking me up from yet another daydream. He gave a kind smile as I looked up to see the blank page on my desk with the sole heading 'Evaluation' at the top. I shook my head with an awkward smile and picked up my pen to signify that I was going to start then. Ugh I really needed to focus on my work again and definitely not on the distraction that Noah Rosenworth had proven to be. Not that it was enjoyable to try to find flaws in my project that didn't show how truly amateur it was. I bet that Elliot's was ten times better and more complicated and cursed myself for not asking him about it before. I was starting to feel like I was neglecting him slightly with all the drama that was going on at the moment.

I was both relieved and more nervous when the bell finally went. My heart was beating out of my chest – a feeling I'd associated with school anyway and I was beginning to see why there were so many songs and books and films about this whole subject – it really was that complicated. It was safe to say that my emotions were going haywire by this point.

I took a deep breath opening the door and there he was. The sight of him always took my breath away – he really was so attractive. It felt weird that I could finally admit that out loud to myself; it had always been something that I wanted to suppress with the obvious links with Mackenzie and the he'd-never-go-for-me thing.

I awkwardly stood next the door after closing it, not knowing what to say at all. He was pulling the familiar slightly constipated face and it made me smile gently

What? He signed and I covered my laughing face.

You always look constipated when you're awkward

I always look what? He furrowed his eyebrows and I realised that there was no way he would know the sign for constipated – it wasn't like that was a valuable part of Mr Anderson's class.

Constipated I finger spelled and he burst into laughter

I find that very rude! He commented, poking me lightly in the shoulder and it was only then that I noticed how close we were again. It was like his warmth radiated into me and I had a cosy feeling in my stomach

So about last night... I had to mention it didn't I? we couldn't just ignore it anyway – I needed to know where I stood in all of this or I'd go crazy.

He took another step forward and raised his hand to my cheek. "I mean what I said" He said slowly and I smiled again "I really like you Via."

So it wasn't a mistake?

"Not at all" He replied softly, and then suddenly his lips were on mine again. When people describe kissing in books they always use powerful metaphors and beautiful imagery of how amazing it is. I guessed that I always tended to roll my eyes at those parts, or at least skipped over them, but let me tell you that kissing in real life is really that good. It was like the clichéd metaphor of fireworks, all bursting at once, the tightness in my chest still there but somehow positive. I couldn't understand how touching lips and sharing lots of germs could do that, but it just... did. And I was definitely never going to let it go.