17. I'm sorry...

"Hi Aimee"

I froze my hand still on the door handle . I couldn't just say bye and walk out the door like that, it was rude right ? I should say something, anything, find an excuse to be able to go home but my imagination which was usually full of perfectly credible stories was now as empty as Dean's brain .

"Hi..." I whispered still looking at the door .

"You're okay ?" she asked coming closer like the situation wasn't awkward enough for me . She really couldn't see what she was doing to me .

"I am, you ?" I finally turned towards her, my bag falling on the floor as she stood less than a meter away from me wearing a large grey shirt her loose hair framing her face .

"Yep" she smiled and I swear I almost had a heart attack "Just a bit hungover I guess"

"Ahah..." I laughed more embarrassed than ever "You should've seen Justin"

We stayed here in silence for a few minutes before she finally spoke breaking the awkwardness between us .

"Did I... did I do weird things yesterday ? I can't remember anything after 1am" she chuckled scratching her head .

She went to sleep at 2am, she didn't remember . That was probably for the best .

"Umm... nope you-you were just doing funny things" I insisted on the funny avoiding to speak about how she danced on the table giving everytging she had on Highway to hell surrounded by more than half the amount of people at the party .

"Good....good" and the silence was back the atmosphere getting heavier and heavier every second .

She looked like out of a movie, the light reflecting perfectly on her face, her eyes caughting the viewer's attention because that's what she does . She attracts people . She attracted me, now I was trapped .

"I-I should go" I stuttered losing all kind of self-confidence "You need help with... the cleaning ?"

"What ? Oh umm no it's fine, I'm fine, you're nic- I mean that's nice, thanks" and before I could think of anything to say back she kissed my cheek her hair brushing my skin, her perfume turning my senses upside down .

I was unable to do anything and everything around me, around us, seemed to have completely disappeared, the vision of the living-room vanishing in the moment . She stepped away still standing close to me her eyes avoiding mine as she was nervously scratching her arm .

"You're welcome..." I whispered more than said "Bye"

And with that I was driving home tears threatening to fall again . I was in deep shit .

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Ayla's POV

Why ? Why did I have to kiss her ? Couldn't I just say bye like a normal human being ? I should've stopped at 'thanks' but at this right moment it was like my brain stopped functionning leaving my heart take control over my whole body . Why ? Why was I having goosebumps everytime she was around, everytime she looked at me ? She is my friend, just my friend . And I have a boyfriend, a boyfriend who doesn't seem to care though... But still Dean's my boyfriend, I love him, I love Dean, I love... Why... My life is set up like clockwork, I graduated, I have a boyfriend, my parents are proud of me, I can't let anything disturb this perfection, I can't .

I went to my bedroom and sat on my bed taking my head in my hands . I was trembling from head to toe, my heart beating faster than ever . Not an other panick attack please... But as I laid on my bed trying to relax I felt something under the covers, my hand reached for it pulling out a black sweater I recognized right away . So this wasn't a dream, she staid with me all night long and I asked her to .

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Aimee's POV

"So she kissed you, on the cheek" Mrs.Gailor had given up on cleaning the shelves and was now listening to the tale of last saturday sitting next to me at one of the tables facing the huge window of the library .

"She did... but it doesn't mean anything, she was tired and she probably does this with a lot of people... yeah it doesn't matter"

"Aimee sweetie, I like you a lot, you're really a smart girl but you have to stop asking yourself so many questions" she put her hand on my shoulder "If it means something to her you'll know it soon enough, let time do its work"

"Yeah you're right, but it's driving me crazy, why do I get feelings so easily ?" I asked myself more than her my hand hanging above my blank paper . I had been unable to draw for three days .

"You're sensitive and you can see right away which people are good and which ones are not which means that your heart knows fast which are the people who are great for you"

"But maybe she's not ?"

"Aimee ?"

"Yeah sorry, stop asking yourself questions, got it" I forced a smile on my face "What would I do without you ?"

"You're stronger than you think you are" she replied standing up "Come on sweetheart time to go home"

It was already nine when I got to my appartment . I was exhausted and had nothing to eat so I ordered japanese and waited watching Netflix . After twenty minutes my phone buzzed surprising me a bit, it usually takes thirty minutes at least . But on my phone wasn't a text from the restaurant, it was her .

Ayla : hey u forgot your sweater, want me to bring it back to u ?

Sometimes you only need to forget your sweater to make your day better . I knew I shouldn't say yes, I should just tell her to give it to Justin who could give it back to me . But I wanted to see her, I wanted to see her smile, to see her eyes I wanted to be with her even if I would never have the chance to have more than that, it was enough, I guess . So I texted back...

Aimee : that'd be nice thanks, did you eat ?

Ayla : Nope

Aimee : u like Japanese ?

Ayla : Send me your adress ;)

An adress and fifteen minutes later Ayla and I were watching Umbrella Academy on my couch laughing when nothing was funny, screaming when nothing was scary . If I had to choose one of my favorite moments to keep with me this one would be on top of the list . I'd just unlocked a new core memory .

"So now they're going back in time?" she laughed even though the world was about to collapse .

"I think they didn't do it on purpose..."I hesitated  "yeah I don't understand shit"

"Me neither" she chuckled laying her head on my shoulder "I'm so tired"

If the tv was a mirror she could see my cheeks getting redder than a tomato .

"Want me to drive you home?" I asked praying that she couldn't hear my hard beating heart .

"I'm fine but thanks..." she whispered sending shivers down my spine .

"Okay..." I said so low that she probably didn't hear me .

Silence settled in between us once again making me lose track of everything going on around us . She was so close I could hear her breathing, her hand was so close to mine I could brush her fingers with mine, but no, I didn't have the courage for such a move . The only thing keeping me aware that I was not dreaming was the tv playing .

"I should go or I'll fall asleep here..." she said smiling forcing her eyes open as she almost passed out on my shoulder "you go with me downstairs?"

"Of course" I replied grabbing my keys on the table .

The fifteen seconds in the elevator between the sixth and first floor probably seemed shorter than they ever did, I could've spent the night here looking at her face reflecting hundreds of time on the mirrors .

"There" I held the door open for her .

"Thanks"

"Where's your car ?" I asked walking next to her in the dark night .

"There" she replied pointing at her red car parked under a streetlight .

"Thanks for tonight..." she said as we reached her car "that was nice"

"You're welcome Ayla..."

She was so close to me, only inches were separating us and if my heart kept beating fast like that it would soon wake up the whole neighborhood . She was facing me her green eyes scanning my face and I could feel her getting closer and closer every seconds . My head was spinning I couldn't tell what was going on and as her lips brushed against mine I felt like the whole world stopped turning . But she suddenly bowed her head and reality hit me harder than a sword .

"I can't..." she sighed avoiding my eyes turning away from me "I'm sorry Aimee I-"

"You have a boyfriend... I get it" I whispered in the silence that had become awfully heavy .

"I'm sorry..."

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