32. Something bad is going to happen
Big girls don't cry
Aleidaâs POV
I run in the woods, looking over my shoulder all the time. Someone is behind me and will hurt me when they get hold of me. I canât stop. âRun, run, my little one!â chants inside my head. I have no idea who is telling me this; the only thing I know is that I canât stop under any circumstances. My legs ache, and my body yells at me to stop, but I canât.
âFind the little whore! She must die just like the others. I want to see her bleed to death in front of my feet!â
Iâm terrified. Someone wants to kill me, and I have no idea who! Thereâs no one I can beg or ask for help with because I know no one will. In the end, I only have myself and no one else. Then, something swings past me and lands in the tree I just run past. Just a few seconds go by before an unbearable pain spreads in my leg; I screamâmy scream echoes over the forest. I try to get up, but someone quickly kicks me back on the ground; I turn on the ground, ending up on my back. Thatâs when I see it. My mates stand over me with unpleasant smiles that show no mercy whatsoever.
âWhy, what do you know, this fake little pussy has found her way eventually,â Miliano says with a mocking tone.
Kian punches me in the face, and I can feel the taste of blood in my mouth. Why are they hurting me? I thought they love me...
âDid you really think you could escape, you slut!? Youâll never get rid of us.â
I can only watch them shift, and before I can react, they have me between their fangs in their mouths.
âAleida! Wake up!â
I jump in bed and wave my arms to keep away the danger. My mates are with me, and I donât hesitate for a second to slap them and crawl into the bathroom. With a bang, the door slams closed, and I lock it in no time.
âWhat the hell Aleida? Why did you do that!?â Kian exclaims.
âJust leave me alone!â I scream, terrified of what theyâre going to do; I tremble with fear; my mates, those who promised to protect me, are now those who will kill me.
âAleida, please, I donât know what just happened, but we canât help you if you lock yourself up. Iâve just replaced this door; I donât have much desire to have to do it again just because you donât want to unlock it,â Kian says, frustrated.
âI canât...â I answer in a small voice.
âWhy canât you, baby girl?â Miliano asks with a velvety soft voice.
âBecause I donât know what youâll do when you get hold of me...â I answer, and theyâre silent for almost a whole minute before Kian talks again.
âWhy do you think weâd hurt you, lepa? We love you and would do anything for you; you know that. So who or what made you start believing something else?â
Theyâre right. It was a fucking dream! Why should I believe more in a dream that doesnât mean anything instead of my mates? It doesnât connect. My mates will never hurt me; I know that. I gently unlock the door and slowly back away. Both Miliano and Kian come into the bathroom, but instead of looking angry like I think they will, they look somewhat concerned.
âLepa, what happened?â Kian asks.
He steps towards me, and unintentionally, I slide down along the wall to the floor. I donât know why Iâm so afraid of them; I have no reason! Although Iâm very well aware of it, thereâs something in the backside of my mind that tells me something completely different.
âWhy are you suddenly afraid of us? Have we done something wrong or hurt you?â Miliano asks with a panicky voice, and I quickly shake my head, âno.â
âYou have not done anything; itâs just...â
âItâs just what?â
âItâs stupid...â
âNothing that suddenly causes you to be afraid of us is stupid. What happened?â Kian asks.
âDo we have to have this conversation in the bathroom?â I counter, to which they both suddenly look uncomfortable.
âOh, um, no, we donât. Do what youâre going to do, and weâll meet you down in the kitchen,â Kian says, embarrassed, and scratches his head.
They leave the bathroom, and I lock it, even though I know none of them will dare come in here again. I do what Iâm going to do and walk down to the kitchen, still in my pajamas. Both of them sit at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in hand and a third one prepared opposite them for me. With reluctant steps, I walk and sit down on the chair; I can feel myself sinking under their eyes. My heart hammers in my chest; I sigh loudly and look at my troubled mates.
âAleida, please talk to us. As I said, we canât help you if we donât know whatâs wrong,â Kian says.
I do. They ask and explain to the smallest detail about my nightmare, about how it affects me. The feeling that this is a future scenario scares me right into my core. Miliano gets up from his chair and walks up gently to me. I get up, and he sits down in my seat. He put me in his lap with my head leaning against his muscular chest.
âWe will never in neither this nor the next world hurt you. I understand that the dream frightens you and that it feels authentic. But itâs not real. Itâs all in your head, a manifestation of your greatest fear. Believe me, Iâve had a lot of such dreams too. Not about this or even the like, but other moments in my life. Itâs okay to be afraid, sensitive, vulnerable, and sad; it doesnât make you a weak person or less worth in our eyes; itâs your human side. We have that side, too; the wolf part is the strongest, obviously. But without the human part, the second part canât survive. You can compare it with Yin and Yang. There canât be good in you if it isnât also evil. Evil and goodness ultimately balance each other out. Then which side you choose to use is entirely up to you. But donât let your fear define who you are,â Kian says and looks me in the eyes all the time.
Tears fall down my cheeks, and my anxiety subsides. I put my head in my hands and sob uncontrollably. Miliano pulls me close to him and holds me tight as if Iâm going to disappear into thin air if he doesnât. Kian leans over the table and gently removes my hands from my face to wipe my many tears.
âDamn, youâre beautiful even when you cry, lepa,â he says, which makes me laugh a little; Kian smiles and kisses my hand.
âI donât understand how you can keep doing this,â I say.
âWhat do you mean?â Miliano asks.
âWell, to begin with, Iâm a big pain in your ass,â I say, to which they laugh. âBut seriously. How can you keep taking care of me when I am who I am? Iâm a broken person who will never be able to become whole again-Iâm weak. Not favorable, but mentally. I break over and over again. Every time you stand there, ready to pick up my broken pieces. Am I even worth all the great things you give me?â
âYouâre worth everything and much more for us, baby girl. Weâve been looking for you for so many years. Youâre not a weak little girl for us; youâre a strong woman who has gone through tragic things and, despite that, can still show concern towards others. Not once has your luggage prevented you from caring and loving. Itâs admirable, and you do so much for others without even knowing it. I donât remember you asking even once for anything in return for your generosity. Just look at Michael. Youâre willing to risk your own safety to make sure heâs safe. Youâre amazing, love,â Miliano says, and his words make my heart pound hard in my chest.
âThank you for putting up with me.â
âNo, thank you for always loving us unconditionally,â Kian says and kisses my forehead.
Weâre sitting and talking when Michael enters the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. With a yawn, he looks wondering at us. His eyes land on me and my red-edged eyes, which makes him rush to me.
âAlpha, what happened? Are you hurt?â he asks, panicky; I smile softly at him and caress his cheek.
âNothing has happened, except that my brain decided to fuck with me. Everythingâs fine. What do you want for breakfast?â I ask.
âFirst of all, I need you to tell me about what happened, and secondly, can I please have pancakes?â
The last part makes me chuckle at him. First, his whole face shines up like Christmas lights when he talks about pancakes. Then, when I nod my head âyesâ to his request, he makes a victory fist in the air of joy.
âYou are adorable, Mickey,â I say and pick out the ingredients.
âYou still have to tell me, though,â Michael points out.
âNah, the boys can fill you in.â
I focus on the pancakes but hear minor parts about when my mates explain my dream to Michael; I ignore their conversation the best I can but catch myself burning myself on the frying pan over and over again- embracing the pain like a long lost friend, and love every minute of it in secret. Itâs evident that even though my mates are âcuringâ my suicidal thoughts temporarily, the self-harm remains, though not as persistent as before. Hurting myself favorable makes my mental anxiety disappear, even if itâs only temporary. I load three plates full of pancakes that I serve my boys. Theyâll need all the energy they can get if theyâre going to be able to carry moving boxes today. The day we move into the packhouse is here; Iâm really excited since I look forward to it! Finally, I can be close to my pack members and tie a strong bond with them all. Me, Killian, and Henry are the packing team; our job is to pack everything down and put the boxes down at the front door. Kian, Miliano, my brothers, and Michael will be the carrying team. I already have a plan for which room to begin with. We canât just pack everything down, some things need to stay here, and we need to throw some other stuff away. So Jason and Nathan will come here to help sort out what to save and not. Weâre going to continue owning the property until we decide what to do with it. Our pack doesnât lack funds, but given how the property values are in the country at the moment, it isnât the time to sell. So, with headphones in my ears and loud music on, I pick up a box that I take with me into the living room. Carefully I pack down photos and other fragile things. Involuntarily my hips move with the music, and I also sing along. A table lamp is at the moment my microphone when I sing with everything I have to âDance monkey.âIâm pretty sure that Iâm yelling right now but donât care at all; Iâm so into my flow that I donât notice when someone pulls off my headphones. Instead, I look up at my mates, their betas, my brothers, and Michael.
âYou sing beautifully, little sister,â Nathan says and kisses my forehead, making my mates growl loudly.
âDonât start; you should know better,â I warn them.
âSorry...â they reply in unison; my mates havenât gotten used to the fact that I have so many men in my life yet; I know itâs hard for them to ignore their wolf instincts.
âWhen did all of you come here?â I ask the newcomers.
âAbout ten minutes ago, we all watched you in your zone. Youâve got moves, sunshine,â Henry says and wink at me, making me roll my eyes and plug in my phone to the stereo.
âIt is what it isâ begins playing. Itâs one of my favorite songs. I relate to the text and can feel calm when I think that others think just like me.
âWell, what the hell are you waiting for? Letâs go!â I command.
âYes, maâam,â all of them answer in unison.
My mates kiss me on my cheeks before disappearing into their bedrooms; everyone else disperses. Kian and Miliano come down with all the clothes we own.
âWhy did you drag it down here?â I ask.
âEasier to sort out what to keep and not,â Kian answers.
âYou can decide for yourself what... Kian! Let go of my thong!â I scold him; heâs wearing my shock pink panties over his face, and I feel terribly ashamed while he laughs at me.
âHey! I donât want to know what sort of panties my little sister wears; quit it,â Nathan says.
Kian shrugs his shoulders and puts them down. Miliano comes running down with the dirty laundry and is about to throw it into a box.
âNo dirty laundry in the boxes!â I shout; my mates look inquiring at me as if theyâre wondering where to put it otherwise.
My brothers and the betas are trying but failing in not laughing at the scene developing in front of them, and all I want to do is smack them for even daring to laugh at my annoyance.
âThe washing machine!â I exclaim, shocked at how stupid my mates are all of a sudden; thankfully, they walk off with the dirty laundry to the laundry room.
âDear moon goddess, you paired me with two neanderthals,â I mumble to myself.
âWe heard that!â my mates shout in unison.
âGood, you were supposed to! And the rest of you, what are you waiting for? Letâs go!â
This will be a looooong day...