Chapter 14

Thank Fuck For Old Beater Trucks

War

The guys are starting to thaw, so damn slowly, but they're coming around.  Not long after the night Ryder stopped by to throw some harsh words my way, the guys began talking to me.  Not a lot, in fact, fucking infrequently at best, but they did talk to me.  Before this, I was the dead, unseen ghost in the room.  Now, I'm the creepy relative everyone hates and ignores at the holidays, but at least I'm seen now.  If I'm working on a job on a construction site, or in the garage, they'll actually talk to me, just about work, but fuck yeah, I'll take it.

No longer being Nomad, I'm getting back deep into the day to day of club life. When I left, I wasn't an officer, I was a soldier. But for the past couple of years I've been on the dark side of the National club, I was doing high-level work, the dirty shit. So now that I'm back here in Crestview, they're using my experience and pushing me into an Enforcer capacity. Not officially, we still have Pike wearing the Enforcer patch. But I'm now his go-to in planning and execution. If he wasn't happy with my performance, I'd know about it, and I'd be removed from that detail. So right now, I work on my own in the garage most days, except when club business puts me elsewhere, basically I'm a club bitch, doing whatever the officers want, whenever they want it. And I'm sure as fuck happy that they're giving me a chance to prove myself again.

My work at the garage has been good, I've always been pretty quick with engines, I never fit in with the academic side of life, I fucking struggled getting through school, but I am fuckin at home in a garage, I also worked on construction crews throughout high school and summers, so I picked up enough build experience to make me somewhat worthwhile and not totally dangerous.

I've been talking with Rock and Teller, helping them work on Rocks car, and I plan on helping out with Tellers ride now that the time has come for him to start the rebuild process. It's slow going, but the boys are letting me in, a little bit at a time, but at least I'm seeing some kind of progress.

It wasn't quick for them to even talk to me, I got a shit load of smack thrown at me (deserved) even a couple of elbows and pranks, (again, deserved). What I didn't expect was for them to let me help with their trucks. Rocks truck, since it was previously his dads, and before that, it was already old as fuck, needs some frequent attention. Tells truck, that project hadn't even begun yet, so that one is at stage fucking one.

Back in the day, Rocky, Jax and I rebuilt the old blue Bronco that Rock drives now. It was his dads pride and joy, it took us 3 years to rebuild and we learned all about engines while building it. Club brothers helped us and taught us how to work the engines. We started at 13, with some of the older members helping us out daily, and eventually got to the point where we could work on it without someone constantly looking over our shoulders and holding our damn hands. All the money we earned from the part time jobs we had went to buy the parts, and by the time Rocky had almost turned 17 and the car was ready, we jumped in the truck and took off with some fun and easy girls and partied the whole night. Epic memories in that truck, and to see Rock and Teller driving it now, fuck, it both warms my heart and shreds it all at the same time. Good fucking times, great fucking men.

So the boys and I are fixing up an old beater truck that Rocky had picked up for Tell when he got old enough to start working on it. But instead of his old man and uncle helping him with the build, Tell is gonna get his older brother and me. This is an honor and a tribute to their dad and uncle, and I think the club sees it the same way. The fact that the brothers are letting me take the lead on this project shows me that they're starting to let me in and trust in me again.

Thank fucking god.

We've got the engine all laid out and the body on blocks in the garage at their house. We've been working on it at nights when the kids are home and done with practice and homework, and on some weekends when they have some spare time. Fuck, I'll do anything at anytime to be anywhere near all of them, if they wanted me to spit polish the trashcans there at 3:00 am, I'd do it with a fucking grin on my face.

When Shea sees me, she acts polite, uninterested and distant. I know she appreciates the rapport I'm trying to build with the boys, I know their dad in a way she didn't, I can share all the stupid kid shit we did together, so she lets me around for them. I'm in no way around because she wants to see me. At first it felt arctic cold when I'd come around, she'd ignore me, be busy anywhere but in the garage where I was working, I thought that hurt. But later, she just ignored me, no arctic freeze, no awkward silence, I'm just a piece of furniture, like the broken chair in the garage that no one uses, or bothers to fix, because it's not needed, it's unnecessary.

I get it, I really do, I hurt her and abandoned her and the club, then ignored and missed the funeral, the worst fucking time of their lives. So I understand, and I'm not trying to change their minds, I'm just trying to be here, to help now, to do whatever the fuck I can to show her, the kids, and the club that I'm back, for good. Back to make amends, to repair the shit I left when I ran off, her to apologize and show that I'm not the coward that ran, at least not anymore.

So I do my time, watching them live their lives as a complete and total unit, happier then they were the day before, living and moving forward.

For the brothers, I'm there for every shitty job, every clean up, every club meeting, I show up for whatever and however they need me.

Then there's Shea and the kids.  The boys need me, I'm a link to their dad and uncle, they like the stories I tell about how their dad was wild and always crazy and fun ideas, that their uncle tried to talk him down from.  They like that I show them that we're fixing the trucks in the same way  Rocky and Jax used to work on their vehicles.  The girls don't really need me, I fix the window in their bedroom, or help them with the bike chain, but thats it, they have Shea and the boys for most things.  But Shea, Jesus man, that girl doesn't need anything from me.  I mentioned that the lights were out on the security lights, and I would fix them the next day after I got the parts.  Then 2 hours later Hack shows up with the parts and starts fixing them, just shooting me a smug as fuck smile.  I get it, I earned it.  So now, I just fix the shit I see, or order what needs to be replaced, I do it, so she doesn't have to worry about it, or call someone else to help her.

Shea doesn't need to spend her time on that shit, she's got the kids to take care of, and though the club takes care of all of them, I've made Shea and the kids my priority.  The guys know it, they don't necessarily respect it, but they see it and I think understand that I am doing my fucking best to help in the only way I can.

But I've seen her looking at me when she thinks I'm not watching her. After a few months, when she'd send food or drinks out to the boys, she started sending out a plate for me as well. I'm not getting any invitations to sit at the dinner table or join in on family nights, but she is finally acknowledging my existence.

During family parties at the club, I talk with the kids, the girls are pretty cool with me now, they hug and kiss me hello and goodbye. They call me Mr. War now, no more Uncle War, and damnit, that hurts like a motherfucker, but hopefully that will change sometime in the future. The boys call me War, and the brothers have stopped calling me Warner, so, fucking baby steps forward, but at least it's god damn forward. Unfortunately, when my wife uses my name, a fucking rare occasion, she calls me Jeff, a name she never fuckin called me before.  But she's still my wife, I never signed the papers and I never will.  So even if its only on paper, Shea is still my wife, and fuck, that has to be enough for now.

Shea gives me very short, very bland and dismissive polite conversation at the family parties, and when it's just a club party, she fuckin avoids me and the air I breathe. It's obvious that she only talks to me when the kids can see her, she wants them to see her being polite, so they won't feel bad talking with me.  Some times though, I see her watch me, just like I'm watching her, though unlike her, I don't hide how I track her. She's got her protective posse of friends and the brothers around her, and I sure as fuck am not gonna do anything to piss any of them off, and there's no way that they're gonna invite me into the friendship circle.

The club girls realized pretty early on that I'm not gonna play around with them. Most of the girls are newer, and didn't know me when I returned, but it didn't take long for my story to get around. Shea always had a pretty good relationship with the club girls before, except for one notable exception. That doesn't seem to have changed too much, so the club girls are nice enough to me, but none of them are looking to sit on my dick. The townie hang around party girls though? They're definitely looking for a biker bang, and they don't want to take no for answer. But no fuckin way am I going to go there, honestly, I don't even know if I could get it up for another chick. Never touched one while I was gone, didn't even think about it, wasn't even the slightest bit tempted in almost three years, and sure as fuck aint gonna touch one now that I'm back and finally have Shea in my sites.

So Shea is now realizing that I'm here, and I'm not going away, I'm not flirting or trying to get with other girls, I'm not playing games with her or anyone else, and I'm sure as hell not fucking around. At some point, she's gonna let me in, and once I see the smallest crack in her armor, I'll fuckin shred that armor into little pieces and then I'll get my girl back. My plan is to ease back into her life, a little at a time, let her get used to seeing me, talking to me, counting on me. I'm showing her that I'm dependable, for her and for the kids. I'm also trying to show her that I still love her, never stopped, never will stop.  When that happens, I'm gonna build her back up, show her that she is now and always has been a queen, that my world revolves around her and the kids.  She's gonna see that she can trust me again, however long it takes, I'm gonna show her and prove to her that she is everything.