: Chapter 59

“You want to hurt me? Fine, do it if it helps. I can take it,” I snap, sick of this bullshit. Just when I think I’m getting close, he pulls away again, only offering me the pieces of him he wants to, shielding the others. I’m done with it.

He slams his hands onto the window, his head pressing to the glass. “Get out,” he orders.

“No,” I reply calmly, crossing my arms. “Not until you get all this shit out in the open. You’re worried about hurting me? Because of your father? Right? Or maybe you’re just blaming yourself for everything that’s happened.” I snort when he flinches. “I know you, Ryder, probably better than you think. You will run through every goddamn detail, blaming yourself, thinking you could have prevented it, but, baby? Sometimes shit just happens, and guess what? I don’t blame you, and your brothers don’t either. Because of you, we are alive and together. Shit happens, Ryder, you have to deal with it and move on. If you get trapped in the past, you will never be free of its ghosts.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and I think I’ve pushed him too far, but when his voice comes out, it’s small and scared. “It’s my job to protect you all.”

Dropping my arms, I head over and press my head against his back, wrapping my arms about his trembling body. “Yes, and no. It’s our job to protect each other. We all knew what we were getting into, Ryder. This life isn’t easy. If it was, everyone would do it, but stop trying to take all the weight for yourself. A Viper needs balance, you need your brothers and me.”

He turns, and I’m pushed back. His eyes are wild, his mouth is pursed in a snarl, his body is shaking, and his fists are clenched. He looks magnificent and fucking terrifying. “And when I can’t? What if I let you all help me? What if I let it all out and I’m just like him?” he screams.

“Like your father?” I ask.

He looks away, jaw grinding. “He was a bastard, Roxxane, a true fucking bastard. He-he hurt my mother and me and Kenzo.” He shakes his head, seeming to deflate as he watches me. “What if I hurt you?”

“Then I’ll kill you.” I laugh, and he glares at me. “Ry, you can’t hurt me unless I let you. I’m sorry, but I’m not your mother, I’m a fighter. I survived my father, I survived D and Garrett, I can survive your demons. I would never let you hurt me more than I wanted to, and neither would the others. You are so scared of being him, you’re stopping yourself from being you.”

He swallows, his eyes searching mine. “I killed him.”

I blink at that. “Okay?”

He laughs, a self-deprecating sound. “You’re not even surprised.”

“That you killed a man who hurt your mother and brother?” I snort. “No, Ryder, I’m not surprised. I wish you had done it sooner.”

He grins, but it soon deflates, and he sits back down, his body heavy as if he’s tired. “Kenzo tried to,” he admits, his voice laced with pain and guilt. How long has he been holding onto this? “I’d killed before, my father made me, shaping me into his enforcer. I did it to protect Kenzo, because I knew if I didn’t, then he would make my brother. But I couldn’t protect him forever, and even though I tried to shield him from that life, he walked into it anyway to save me from my dad. He saw what it was doing to me and hated it. He took my gun one night when I was asleep, went to the hotel—”

“The hotel? Where I was?” I question, as I plop into his lap. He needs to talk, but he needs me there too. He wraps his arms around me gratefully, his head pressing to mine.

“One in the same, love, it’s ours, I wanted it to rot.” He kisses me then softly, so softly. “He went there to kill him, to save me. But when he got to my father, he couldn’t do it. He’s a lover, and the first time you pull the trigger is hard, love, and on our own father? Impossible for Kenzo. He saw the good in everyone and loved them, even when they didn’t deserve it, still does.”

“Hey,” I protest, and he smiles.

“Not you, Roxxane. If anyone in this world deserves love, it’s you and him, but Garrett, D, and me? Not so much.”

I shake my head, but he covers my mouth. “Let me talk, okay? I woke up, and when I saw my gun was missing, I knew. He had been acting weird all day, and I just knew, love. I’ve never been so scared. I knew my dad would kill him, and by the time I got there, Kenzo was bleeding, on death’s door. I took the gun from him—”

“You killed him,” I mumble against his hand.

“I killed him, shot him in the head, then unloaded the clip on him.” He winces then. “And I felt nothing, nothing, love. Not even joy, it was just something that needed to be done. I helped Kenzo up, and we just stood over him. All our lives, he had been a tyrant, such a big, strong man. All that power and money, and in the end, all it did was sign his death warrant. He looked so weak, so small. It was easy to do, kill, easier to take over his business and destroy it. It was when I was in my element, destroying things, while Kenzo was the builder.” He sucks in a breath, and I push closer, offering him comfort as he unloads all the weight pulling him down.

“He pulled this family together. I think he did it for me, to try and keep me anchored because he saw it too—my ability to destroy, my potential to be worse than my father, and he was trying to stop it, and it worked, love, for so long. It grounded me, but then you came—” He shakes his head again, his eyes lighting up and his lips curling. “Like a fucking hurricane. You shook up my world. I knew you would when I saw you, but I just couldn’t walk away. There’s an innocence to you. I know you’ve seen the shit life has to offer, but you still smile, still laugh. I craved it, wanted to make it mine and…and destroy it. But I didn’t count on your fucking will. You wrapped me—us, around your fingers so easily. I would do anything for you, love, be anything you needed, and that terrified me because that same power, those same demons who made my dad him are in me, and you have to deal with them all. Because I can’t let you go, not ever.”

My heart cracks at his words. Ryder, God, my poor Ryder. So worried all the time. No wonder that ice is there, it keeps him and everyone around him safe from the fire within. D uses it, Kenzo blocks it, Garret unleashes it, but Ry? Ry lives in it.

“That makes me a bastard, I know, but when you are in my arms, I feel invincible. I feel so fucking strong, like I could do anything. You make me like that. You make me stronger, and because of that, you have to deal with the consequences…”

Pushing his hand away, I kiss him hard. “And I’ll gladly take them. Ryder, you’re stronger than you know, so fucking strong. Why do you think I stayed? Even when I first came, I didn’t really try to escape and never really knew why. Maybe it’s because I knew this was where I belonged. In your arms. So you have demons? Baby, they match mine. We can do this together, but no more icing us out. We are family. They won’t judge you, just like you don’t judge them. It’s time to let go, Ryder, let the ghosts die with that hotel, because you have so much more to live for now. And I will remind you every fucking day if you need me to. I will take it all, every bit of anger and destruction. Paint it across my skin, I’ll wear it gladly. I’m yours, Ryder, and you’re mine.”

He searches my eyes. “Promise?”

It’s a child’s word on a man’s lips, a man who lost everything for so long. Who was never taught love or kindness. We are learning together. Words might not always be loving, no, sometimes they are downright venomous. Poison on our lips like fire pouring from our souls, but they are always true. “Promise,” I whisper.

He groans, closing his eyes for a moment. “I fucking love you, Roxxane, even when you’re being a brat.”

I can’t help but laugh at that. “Don’t worry, I still hate you.”

He grins, his eyes flaring open as he circles my neck with his hand, those long, elegant, scarred fingers anchoring me to him. “Is that right?” he murmurs, his gaze flashing dangerously, and it’s a testament to how fucked up I am that my pussy clenches at that one look. “I bet I can make you scream ‘I love you’ for everyone to hear.”

“Doubt it, buddy.” I snort, even as I lean into him, ripping my hand down his shirt. The buttons pop off, leaving his chest bare for my hungry gaze, his collage of tattoos almost blinding me. He’s a work of art, and he fucking knows it.

A goddamn painting in motion. His soul is as dark as his ink, and his eyes are as cold as the society he swims in, yet I crave him. His brand of pain and love. I ache whenever I look at him. He’s too fucking much, yet he’s all mine.

He can be cruel and callous. His hands and tongue a weapon. He can take me down, break me and destroy me as easily as he can have me screaming in pleasure. It’s a double-edged sword with each of the Viper boys. They love as deeply as they hate.

They hurt as much as they breathe, and I am in the middle of all of that, with all of their eyes and attention on me. If I’m not careful, they could kill me as easily as they love me. I stole their hearts, and they stole mine.

They keep it safe in their blood-soaked palms, and when Ryder strokes his hands down to my arse and squeezes, I moan wantonly. Such pain, such death they leave in their paths. These hands belong to killers.

Sinners.

Vipers.

But I want them all the same. I want their bite, I want their particular brand of venom coursing through my veins, remaking me into their girl. Every touch, every look is a balm into the soul of a girl who was never loved properly.

One day, it might consume us all and we might explode. But what a beautiful death it would be.

“Ry,” I beg, dragging my nails down his chest, cutting his skin and leaving my mark, giving as good as I get. They love me because of this, because I am capable of the same blood and destruction, hate and torment, because they live in the shadows and so do I.

“Scared, love?” he murmurs, almost pressing his lips to mine. His breath is minty with a hint of scotch, wafting over me as I wiggle on his lap, feeling his cock harden against me.

“Of you? Never. Of not getting an orgasm any time soon? Abso-fucking-lutely,” I deadpan.

“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” He grins and stands, holding me against him before dropping me onto the glass table. His hands grab my thighs and shove them open before he twists his hand in the front of the shirt and tugs, snapping the buttons until it falls open and I’m bare before him.

His eyes run down my body, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Every fucking time I forget how beautiful you are.” His hands drift up my thighs, his knuckles catching on the edge of my pussy, making me groan. “Every goddamn time, love, you take my breath away.”

“Prove it,” I demand, spreading my legs farther. His eyes drop to my pussy, and he groans as he falls to his knees.

Having the great Ryder, the lead fucking Viper on his knees looking so hungry, like he could devour me whole, is heady. The power makes me smirk as I reach down and grab his head as he trails his tongue along my thighs, teasing me, punishing me.

“I might get Garrett to tattoo ‘Ryder’s Property’ above this pussy.”

“Not fucking likely, unless I get to tattoo ‘Roxy’s Property’ on your cock,” I snap, making him chuckle and blow warm air over my needy pussy. I shiver. “Enough talking.”

“Do you give the orders here, love?” he challenges, nipping my thigh in punishment. “Because I can easily fuck this tight little pussy, fill you with my cum, and leave you behind, needy as hell without release.”

“You bastard,” I hiss.

“That’s right, love, and I’m your bastard, so lay the fuck on your back and let me stare at my property for as long as I goddamn please. You will get my cock when I tell you, you get my cock,” he growls, digging his teeth into my skin. I jolt as I drop my head to the glass and close my eyes in pain.

I’m so wet, it’s embarrassing, needing him inside me, my empty pussy pulsing and clamping on air. Feeling his dark, hungry gaze on my pussy isn’t helping. I actually jump when his fingers touch me, parting my lips before his tongue touches my clit, circling it, then tracing it down my center and dipping inside me, lapping at my cream hungrily. My hands tighten in his hair as I push myself against his face, grinding onto his tongue as my eyes flutter closed. My heart pounds and body slicks with sweat.

“Ry, God, please,” I implore, as he removes his tongue and lifts his head, those dark eyes meeting mine as he licks his lips.

“You taste like fucking heaven.” He groans before his head drops back to my pussy and he stops teasing.

His eyes roll up to meet mine over my body as he wraps his lips around my piercing and sucks, making me come off the table with a moan. Releasing it, he laps at my pussy like it’s his favourite fucking dessert. His fingers circle my hole playfully before dipping in and out barely an inch. I cant my hips, trying to get more friction, needing to come so badly it’s my only goal.

I’m mindless, aching for pleasure as I press closer. Words leave my lips, threats, promises, all making him laugh and tease me more until I finally stop and just relax, letting him do whatever he wants to me.

Then he shows me just how much he was teasing.

His fingers slip into my pussy, stretching me, my breathing loud in the silent room as he plays my body like a fucking violin. His hands skate up my stomach and grab my breasts, hard, squeezing them as he licks and flicks my piercing, tugging it. The pain and pleasure mix together. His wet fingers circle my nipples before tracing back down my body and slipping inside me.

They scissor, rubbing my inner walls as he focuses all his attention on my clit. Each flick of his tongue and glide of his fingers has me rocking into his mouth. “Ryder!” I scream, as his teeth clamp down on my clit.

It throws me over the edge, ecstasy washing through me as I jerk beneath him, my orgasm taking me by surprise and making me cry out. He licks me through it before crawling up my body and lapping my cream from my nipples. Panting heavily, I open my eyes to meet his dark ones. His chin and lips are coated in my release, and he looks fucking feral. I love it.

“That was just a start, love,” he murmurs, his teeth catching on my nipple as I shiver beneath him. “I just wanted you to realise that you belong to me, and only when you behave, do you get what you need.”

I can’t speak, my mouth is dry and my tongue is too numb to move, and he chuckles, the rat bastard. He flips me over and drags me to the edge of the table, stripping my shirt until I’m naked. His hands trace down my back before his mouth follows the path, his teeth digging into my ass cheek, making me groan.

“Diesel told me he fucked your ass with a knife, is that true?” he murmurs.

I refuse to be ashamed. “Yes.”

“Good, because I’m going to fuck your ass. Be a good girl, and I’ll make you come more times than you can count. Be a brat, and I’ll make it hurt, and while you’re crying, I’ll make you come, make you love the agony.”

Goddamn, why is that so hot?

His hands stroke along my ass before he slaps both cheeks, making me jerk and yelp. He laughs and rubs in the sting before he presses his cock to my pussy. He slides it back and forth across me before slowly pushing inside. He only thrusts two times. I’m just starting to push back and meet his thrusts, when he pulls out and leaves me empty.

“Goddamn it, Ry,” I grumble, panting as I press my face to the table and my ass into his hands.

“Just getting my cock nice and wet for your plump little ass,” he growls.

My eyes flicker closed at that as I pant, my hips rolling instinctively. I can’t help it, I need him so badly. He spanks me again, twice before rubbing in that sting. I moan loudly, unable to help myself. He makes me so weak.

Makes me surrender completely.

When I relax, he licks my ass. “Good girl, love, that’s it, relax and take my big cock.” He presses the head to my ass, and I relax as he pushes in. He’s thick and big, and I can’t help but bite my lip as he slips past my muscles. “Good girl, look how pretty you are,” he praises, as he pulls back and thrusts in, working his cock into my ass an inch at a time.

When he’s buried deep, he massages my cheeks. “Such a fucking good girl, look at you.”

Goddamn, I want to snap at his condensing words, but with his cock in my ass, I can’t really complain. He chuckles like he knows my thoughts and slowly starts to move, fucking me gently. Softly.

Holding back like normal.

Trying to protect me.

I know he needs more, he needs pain and hurt as well as control, but Ryder loves me, fears hurting me. I need to break him. “What’s the matter, Ry? Going soft on me?” I taunt. His hands dig into my hips as he slams into me harder, but it’s still not enough. “Oooh, please, Ry, don’t hurt me,” I mock.

I glance over my shoulder at him. “Your brother fucks harder, need me to teach you how?”

His eyes narrow as I smirk at him. “What’s wrong, Ry?” I lick my lips and push back, taking him deeper. “No quick come back? No demands or orders? Gotta say, I’m disappointed…you promised to hurt me. Guess it was all talk, alpha,” I gibe.

That breaks him. He slams inside of me so hard and fast, it does hurt, making me cry out. His hand darts out and wraps around my throat, squeezing as he leans down and bites my ear. “You want it to hurt? You want me to stop looking after you?”

He’s clutching my throat so hard, I can’t breathe.

“Fine, you think you can take it, love? Prove it.” He pulls out of me and lets go of my throat. Yanking me up, he spins me so fast, my head whirls and I stumble.

He doesn’t care, he drags me over to the window and smashes me into the glass. A sharp pain goes through my injured ribs, and when he grabs my hands and slams them to the window above me, my injured shoulder and finger twinges. The pain melts through me, turning to pleasure, my cream dripping down my thighs.

His hands go to my hips, and he jerks me back, palming my ass as he pushes back inside me again with quick, hard thrusts, not gentle now. He forces his cock into my ass over and over until I’m being pounded against the glass.

But it’s not enough for him.

His hand strokes down my side, those elegant fingers tracing my ribs, and then he squeezes, squeezes the still aching, healing ribs until I scream in pain, shuddering around him. It makes him groan as he fills me with his cock. “Fuck, love, you scream so sweetly. No wonder D loves it.”

I can’t help it, the pain fades to pleasure, especially when he reaches around and rubs my clit, driving me back to that peak again, even as my body protests the fucking.

But suddenly, he pulls out again, leaving me cold and shivering against the glass as I wobble on unsteady feet. My ass is sore, my ribs hurt, and my pussy throbs like a heartbeat, dripping my cream as I slowly come back from the edge of release. Turning my head, I watch as he strides over to the table in the corner, his fingers running over the objects there. “I wonder, Roxy, just how far are you willing to go?” He looks over at me, dragging his eyes down my body. “Just how far can I push you? Hurt you?”

He grabs a bottle of fancy water from the side, and I freeze, wide-eyed, as he comes back to me, kicking open my legs and pressing it to my pussy. “Thought you could handle it, love?” he taunts, as he slams it inside me. I scream at the burst of pain followed by a whimper as he grips my hips and pushes back into my ass. The bottle and his cock stretch me so much, it borders on agony. He keeps me there, riding that fine line as he starts to move.

He keeps the bottle still, my pussy clamping around it as he slams in and out of my ass, making me ride the object. It feels so fucking wrong, so goddamn dirty, but good. I’m so full, I can’t even think, barely breathe.

“Ry, God,” I cry out, feeling the bottle slip farther inside me with each punishing thrust of his cock in my ass.

“If they look up, they can see you, love, see you getting fucked, knowing you belong to us as you scream into the night,” he snarls into my ear, biting down afterwards and making me jerk back onto his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, please, Ryder,” I beg, shaking my head. It’s too much. The sensations are overwhelming me, the cool glass against the front of my body at odds with the heat of his body behind me. The round bottle fills me, stretching me, and makes my ass that much tighter for his huge cock. Every movement is pain and pleasure. I want to stop it, yet I can’t get enough.

He’s making me ride that edge. The edge he always rides.

But I meant what I said, he could never hurt me. Even now, even when his hands dent my hips, his cock forces my ass to stretch around him, and the bottle he shoved inside me makes me wince. I still want it.

Want more.

Want everything.

When his strong, sure fingers wrap around my throat, anchoring me as he pounds into me, I lose it. My eyes close, stars bursting behind them. I can’t hear over my own heartbeat, and between one thrust and the next, I explode.

He snarls into my ear as he reaches down and, as I’m in the throes of release, yanks the bottle from my pussy and slams it back in. One orgasm tumbles into the next, pulled from me on his command. He fucks me through them, keeping me on that edge until he can’t take it anymore.

He slams into me, grinding down as he does, filling my ass to the hilt as he groans. I feel him explode inside me, my pussy aching now as he slowly extracts the bottle and tosses it away.

I feel raw, sore, and used.

And oh so fucking satisfied. A smile curls my lips, even as I slump into the glass, breathing heavily. He presses along my back, wrapping an arm around my middle as he helps me stand, both of us sweaty and trembling with aftershocks.

“Christ, Roxy,” he groans, licking and kissing my cheek. “How did I get so lucky?”

“Sometimes you gotta steal a few girls before you meet the right one,” I tease, voice low and husky from my screams.

He chuckles breathlessly and groans when it jerks him inside me. “Love, I steal things every fucking day, I’m a goddamn mobster, but you? You’re the best thing I ever stole, and I plan on showing you that for the rest of our lives, until you get bored with us and try to kill us.”

“Try?” I taunt. “Bitch, please, we both know there would be no try.”

He laughs again. “Admit it, love, we stole your heart.”

“Nah, you stole my pussy.” I laugh, even as I melt back against him. “Orgasms are the way to a woman’s heart though…”

“Well, I better get to work,” he murmurs.