Read My Lips: Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Zach’s p.o.v

“Zach, you have to get out of bed.” Mum sighed standing at my bedroom door.

Ever since I’d purposely broken Maisie’s heart, I didn’t have the energy to do anything. All I wanted to do was lay in bed, pathetic I know. But I felt so bad for what I’d done to her. If I could have it my way then I would’ve never done anything like that to her.

“Leave me alone.” I groaned whilst burying my head underneath my pillow. I flipped over in my bed so my back was now facing my mum. I’d never felt like such a girl.

I heard my mum let out another sigh before hearing the sound of footsteps increase. My bed dipped and the pillow was yanked off my head. A hand began stroking my hair in a comforting manner. “You can’t lay in bed all the time, sweetie.”

I grunted. “Yes I can.”

“Do you want me to get you anything? Food? A drink? Your friends?” She asked, still stroking my hair. I assumed she was trying to calm me down but it really wasn’t working. I was so angry at myself and nothing was going to change that.

“You can leave me alone.” I replied, bluntly. If I was going to feel bad about myself then I wanted to do it alone, not with my mum sat around me.

Mum sighed and removed her hand from my head. “You know, sometimes two people need to be apart to realise how much they need to be together.” And with that, she got up and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Once again I let out a groan before falling back onto my bed and pulling the duvet over my head, blocking out the world.

If it wasn’t for Max, I wouldn’t be having this problem. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have broken the heart of an innocent girl. If it wasn’t for him, none of this would’ve happened. He ruined everything and the worst part is he knows exactly what he’s doing.

When my phone buzzed with a text late that night, it took me a while before I grabbed it and unlocked it. A bubble of hope filled my body thinking that the text just might be from Maisie. But that vanished when I see it’s actually from Max.

Just the sight of his name hit me with the realisation of why I’d ended things with Maisie. If he didn’t know about her then he couldn’t hurt her. I was doing this to keep her safe. Keeping her safe was and always will be my main priority.

It didn’t even feel like I was a teenager.

Fighting place. Five minutes. Hurry. M.

In an act of anger I threw my phone off the floor before pulling on some clothes. I slipped my phone back into my pocket, without checking to see if it was ok, and heading downstairs. Mum wasn’t in sight so assuming she was in her room, I grabbed my shoes and left the house allowing the door to slam shut behind me.

The ally way that I was growing far too use to entered my sight when I turned the corner. I felt numb as I walked further towards it ready for another fight. My mind flashed back to when Maisie saw my face after the last fight.

She just thought it was a one off with an ex-opponent. She didn’t know I’d been dragged into fighting again. But most importantly, she didn’t know that that was the reason I’d left her in the first place.

I left the ally way with fresher cuts. My lip was bleeding along with my nose. Now, I was supporting a cut on my eyebrow that was bleeding rather heavily along with bruised and cut knuckles off my retaliation to the punches I was receiving.

All in one, I was aching a lot. Max just smirked after the fight was finished, he knew what he was doing. He was paying fighters who were older than me and much stronger because he knew that I wouldn’t be able to take them and therefore, I’d give in and leave.

And then he would be able to begin his payback. From there he’d be able to hurt someone close to me just because he wanted to hurt me. For what reason, I didn’t know. When I was younger, I’d go to him when I was in a fight. I’d fight for him- he’d get the money and I’d get the thrill and power of fighting someone and winning.

“Hey, Zach!” Someone called from behind me making me turn back around. I faced the entrance that I’d just left to see Max stumble towards me. Rolling my eyes, I waited for him to speak.

“What?” I deadpanned, not wanting to talk to him. I wanted to go home; I didn’t want to be around him any longer than I’d already had to be.

Max chuckled. “Well done with tonight’s fight.”

Was he being serious? He couldn’t be. “Oh, really? Considering I lost again?”

He patted my shoulder before walking past me and towards the opposite direction I was going in. “Yep. Well done. You’re bringing my plan together nicely.” Max let out an evil chuckle and walked away from me.

Great, he had a plan. I would bet anything that it was to bring me down. That was all I needed on top of everything that’s happening. Giving up, I turned around and walked back in the direction of my house.

My mind drifted from the previous fight I was involved in to the fact its Christmas in a week’s time. Knowing that I’ve broken up with Maisie reminds me that I can’t spend it with her like normal couples do.

I couldn’t invite her over on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or New Years. We couldn’t kiss under the mistletoe like couples do or exchange presents. Or be cheesy like some couples and wear Christmas jumpers. I had well in truly messed up.

And all that I could keep reminding myself is that all of this will help Maisie in the long run. As long as she isn’t associated with me, the longer I can manage to keep her safe and out of my mess. She didn’t need to be dragged into something that was dangerous and that didn’t have anything to do with her.

“Where have you been?” Mum demanded once I’d walked through the front door. “Do you know how worried I was?”

She was standing in the doorway in her pyjamas; her hands were wrapped around the back of her neck. Worry was written all over her face and I couldn’t help feel bad.

“I’m sorry. I went out to see some friends and I…” I trailed off when my mum came running over to me and gently grabbed my face in her hands.

“Zach… You’re face,” Her eyes filled with tears. She lifted her thumb to my face and tried to rub off the blood that had already dried on my way home. “Who did this to you? Tell me right now or I’m phoning the police.”

I shook my head and backed away from her. “No, don’t phone the police. Nothing happened I swear. I just had a run in with a friend, things got out of hand and he was a little too rough, that’s all.”

She glared at me, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “You better not be lying to me Zachary Danvers.”

“I wouldn’t lie, I’m telling the truth.” I said. In a way, I wasn’t lying because Max was an old friend and things did get out of hand. The only thing I wasn’t telling her was that I wasn’t getting out of this anytime soon and it wasn’t just a onetime thing.

“Promise me?”

“I promise.” I nodded, I felt so bad. Mum grabbed my hand and began pulling me into the kitchen.

“Come on; let me clean your cuts up.” She smiled, opening the cupboard and pulling out the first aid kit.

The wipe that she used to clean the cut stung a lot, but I didn’t flinch. My mind was elsewhere and I didn’t feel the pain off it. The cream was worse, that actually did make me flinch. Mum rubbed it in making sure that it was dry and the bleeding from the cuts had stopped.

She grabbed my hands next. “…Zach.” She tutted grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me over to the sink. Turning the warm tap on, she thrust my hand underneath the running water to stop the bleeding that hadn’t stopped regardless of the healing of the cuts on my face.

After taking my hand from underneath the water, she dried it off with some tissue before wrapping it up in a bandage. “There you go.”

“Thank you, mum.” I smiled sadly. My life was slowly crumbling down around me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt so hopeless.

Mum returned the smile and pulled me into a tight hug. I rested my head against her shoulder as she rubbed the back of my head to comfort me like she had in my room before. “It’ll all get better, I promise. You just have to give it some time to settle down.”

“I hope so.” I sighed.

Lying in bed that night, my thoughts were running wild. Christmas was currently on my mind. I’d already gotten Maisie a present, assuming that we would be together to celebrate the holiday. Grabbing my notebook from my bedside table, I began to write a letter to Maisie to leave with her present that I still planned on giving to her.

I tried to explain why I’d done what I’d done without giving anything away. As much as I wanted to tell her, I knew I couldn’t. Her knowing what had happened would risk her safety and I didn’t want her safety to be risked at any cost.

I poured my heart out into that letter. Trying my best, I wrote down my feelings the best that I could.

Then I made my way over to my wardrobe. Leaning down in front of the wardrobe I pulled the clothes that I’d carelessly thrown from the bottom until I hit the back. There, I pulled out the black, already wrapped box and held it in my hands.

Opening it up, I stared at the content inside. I ran my finger over the item, smiling at the memory of buying it. It had taken me ages to choose it because I wanted her present to be perfect. Sure, it’d cost me quite a lot of money but she was and is worth every penny that I spent.

I grabbed the letter from my bed and folded it until I could fit it into the box. I then proceeded to place it carefully in the box and put the lid back on the box. The box was placed back where it originally was and I closed the door of my wardrobe.

She’d still receive her present; I’d make sure of that.

Waking up the next morning was awful. My face hurt so much and the marks on my face were ridiculously obvious and you could tell from a mile away that they were fresh. I was prepared for another day of questioning.

Mum was at work when I’d eventually dragged myself out of bed at seven thirty that morning. I rushed to get ready, throwing on whatever clothing I could find before getting washed and brushing my teeth.

I took more time when it came to getting breakfast. Normally, I’d skip breakfast since I could never eat in the mornings anyway, but today I decided against that. So I sat down in the kitchen alone with a bowl of cereal in front of me.

My mind drifted to school, once again. I could tell it was going to be awkward. There was a pretty big chance that Maisie had told Rebekah what had happened since she was her closest (and only) friend.

So either Maisie wasn’t going to bother with us today, which would most likely effect Jake or she was going to start an argument which would annoy Jake. So either way, my problems were going to affect other people even if Rebekah and Jake were already having problems. This was just going to add to it.

After putting my bowl into the sink, I never bothered washing it and left the house making sure I’d locked the door behind me. I had a really bad habit of not locking up when I left the house.

Walking to school was nice. The fresh air was refreshing and I was able to clear my head as I walked. The snow had stopped slightly but every now and then there were still the odd few showers. The ground was still icy and thick of snow but it was better than an actual snow storm. It was calm and I liked it.

Of course that all vanished when I walked into the school gates. Not only were the other people in my year looking at me but so were the high school students.

The few sixth form students that were still outside stared at me as I walked in. People were backing away from me when I walked past them which only made me want to frown (I wouldn’t though.). I kept on walking, ignoring everyone around me.

There was only one person I wanted to see and I knew that they wouldn’t want to see me.

But when I entered the school and walked into the sixth form block, Maisie was nowhere in sight. Rebekah was even though she was sat as far away from Jake as she could possibly get. My friends were sat at the opposite end so ignoring Rebekah as well; I walked over to my own friends and plonked down beside Dan.

“What the hell happened to your face… again?” Ryan demanded leaning over the table so it could provide him a better look at my injured face.

“Just a fight, nothing to worry about.” I smiled putting my backpack on the table and resting my head on it. The sleep I had last night was awful and I couldn’t help but feel exhausted.

Dan stared at me like he could see right through me. We’d been friends for years so there was no doubt that he could. “You stopped fighting when you began dating Maisie, why are you fighting again?” He inquired.

None of them knew that I’d broken up with Maisie. How were they supposed to? Rebekah wasn’t talking to us and so far I hadn’t seen a glimpse of Maisie. So for now, I was safe from their interrogation that I knew I was going to receive.

“Who cares why I’m fighting again; maybe because I miss it?” I answered him. In a way I did miss it because it gave me a thrill. I loved the feeling of power. I liked how it felt when I managed to beat someone and I was a winner. But now it wasn’t the same. I didn’t get a thrill. Instead I got pain.

Jake punched Dan in the shoulder before he could say anything else. “Shut up about it. It’s his life; let him do what he wants.”

I smiled gratefully at him before putting my head back down on my backpack. In all honesty, right now, I just wanted to disappear. I either wanted to be back home in bed or be with Maisie but I knew I wasn’t getting either of those.

“So, who wants to hear about my latest lay?” Dan smirked, sitting up straighter and rubbing his hands together. He had a successful smile on his face that almost made me laugh.

“No one.” I answered his question before Ryan or Jake could.

Dan turned to me and I received a glare from him. “Well tough I’m telling yous. She had the nicest bum ever, I swear to god. It was perfect. Oh! Her chest was also beautiful and god damn she was good in bed.” He looked up at the ceiling as if he was thanking god for this girl he’d banged.

“Is that all you care about?” I laughed taking a drink from the water I’d brought with me.

“Yep, now shut up. She was also wonderful at kissing, I mean her lips, gah they were perfect too. Damn, you guys, you all need someone like her.”

I stood up from the table making all three heads turn to me. “No we don’t. I’m just going to talk to Rebekah, I’ll be back soon.”

Jake just grunted at the sound of her name but I didn’t answer. I turned around and headed over to the table where she was sat alone. She had her folder out in front of her doing whatever work she had to do.

“Can I help you?” She asked without looking up. Her voice was monotone almost suggesting that she didn’t want to have to talk to me at all.

I sat down in the seat opposite her before I answered. “Actually, yes you can.”

“Well hurry up because I don’t have time for you.” Ouch.

I grumbled something that couldn’t be made out. “Is Maisie at school today? Just, I haven’t seen her yet and I normally would.”

“Oh, so you do care?” She answered sarcastically looking up from whatever she was doing. Her face was plain like she couldn’t be bothered with having to talk to me.

“Of course I care about her.”

“You care so much that you went and broke her heart! Yep, sounds caring to me.” She snapped. I could tell she was getting angry, anyone could. The tips of her ears were turning pink as she glared at me. If looks could kill, I’d be dead.

I shook my head. “You don’t know why I done that so shut up acting like you know what’s happened. And to be honest, it’s none of your business so keep your damn nose out.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Zach. See, when you break my best friend’s heart, it becomes part of my business. I don’t like seeing her hurt and when you’re the one who caused it… well… I just don’t have time for you.” She grabbed her bag from the floor and began carelessly throwing everything in.

“Can you at least tell me if she’s in school today?” I asked weakly. As if I hadn’t felt bad before, I felt even worse now.

She stared at me as if she couldn’t believe I’d asked that. “No, she’s not. Because some asshole broke her heart and she’s hurting and upset. You know what? All of your friends are the same. You’re all conceited assholes who only care about themselves. You need to get your head out of your ass and realise people are scared of you.”

Rebekah walked over to me and stood next to me. I was still sat down meaning she was currently towering over me. “People are scared of you because you beat people for fun. Do you think people are going to like you for it? I haven’t been here for that long and I can already tell what you’re like.

“And you know what else? I’m glad you and Maisie are over. Because she deserves someone so much better for her than you. She deserves to be happy and safe and that’s something you don’t appear to have been doing. So I’m done now Zach, goodbye.”

She strutted off after that, allowing her blonde hair to sway behind her. And I couldn’t help but stare after her in shock.

After school, I ran home to grab Maisie’s present. I wasn’t going to bother going to school for the last few days. What was the point? Maisie wasn’t there, Rebekah was glaring at me like I’d killed someone and my heart was hurting more than before. It was only Tuesday but I was so done with this week.

After grabbing her present, I left my house again. I walked the longer way to her house, trudging through the deep snow. It numbed my legs but it felt good. Really, I just wished it could numb my heart to stop it hurting so much.

I was such an idiot and I hated myself for it.

Her present was tight in my grasp in my coat pocket. I wasn’t going to lose it, she needed to have it. I want her to see the present I’d bought her but more importantly I wanted her to read the letter I’d wrote for her.

When I arrived at her doorstep, I cleared a patch of snow and gently placed the box down so whoever opened the door would see the little box. I’d made sure to put a tag on with her name written on it so whoever opened the door would know it was for her and no one else.

Pressing the doorbell a few times, I turned and ran back down the path and hid behind a car at the other side of the road so I still had a clear view of her house.

I waited until someone answered the door and my heart stopped when it opened. The door opening revealed a tired looking Maisie. Her hair was tired up on the top of her head; she wore no makeup and had her joggers on. Even from the distance I was, I could see her eyes were red and puffy.

It broke my heart even more.

Maisie frowned down at the box before bending down to pick it up. She picked it up, inspected it before taking it in the house with her and shutting the door behind her

And now all I had to do was wait and see if she contacted me about it.

But in a way I hope she didn’t because I couldn’t get back with her. I refused to risk her safety over my own selfish past. She didn’t need any of that after the operation she had.

But then again, I hope she would because what I done to her was awful. It was uncalled for and I could’ve handled it so much better. She didn’t deserve any of it and if I was being completely honest…

I missed her already.

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Updated again within a week, i'm proud. I'll edit this tomorrow but I wanted to put this up before I went to bed sooo.

I want this story to be finished soon and i'm slowly getting there.

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