Chapter 31

MUKTA

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'Om...Eat a little Cherda(child)' Gauri Aunty kept telling Omkar who kept ascending stairs without an expression on his face. Too mechanical.

This is how he has been since Manisha's incident. He wasn't talking to anyone. He only kept looking into an empty space. His eyes held a dead expression and it kept killing each one of us. I blinked through my tears while I felt a hand on my shoulder...

'Shizuka Vanni... please give Omkar Anna some time...He needs his space... Please don't think so much...We should be glad that Manisha kind of creep was been caught... Please Vanni... atleast you eat a little...the beautician will be here in some time for your engagement Mehndi...I know you are also not in the right mindset but you both are getting engaged tomorrow Vanni... please...' Prarthana said holding my hand and I blinked through my tears.

'I need to freshen up Pattu...Can you give me some time?' I asked and she nodded.

I walked upstairs into our room. I saw Omkar was sitting on his wing chair facing the window. He was again staring into a blank space. I wanted to go and pull him into a tight hug. I took a few steps closer to him but he suddenly stood up at once. He turned around at once. I was shocked to see his expressions. He was a beast. A 6ft 5 inches tall beast and for the first time ever I saw fear in his eyes.

He was scared of me???

My eyes filled up. He looked down and walked out of the bedroom. I sat down analysing what exactly was happening to him. I sat I don't know for how long...Minutes...Hours!!!

'Shizuka Vanni....Mom is calling you and Anna for dinner...you guys didn't eat anything since morning...' Pattu's voice broke my trans and I didn't know what to say...

'Pattu...I'm not hungry... please give me some time...' I said while she held my hand and said...

'This is exactly what Omkar Anna told Rudra when he went to call him for dinner...Vanni please...you are the one who could understand this situation the best...much more than anyone else...' she said and I looked at her with a confused expression.

While I heard Rudra's voice saying...

'Because Mukta Vanni you went through the same some months back. Isn't it?' he said and everything was falling in place. He was still in the state of shock. He was unable to get through it.

'You know what is the problem with this society... They think it's ok if women cry, men shouldn't. Women can let out their emotions but men...how can a man let out their pain...Men are strong...men don't cry...men don't let out emotions...Men enjoy been touched...how can a man be forced!!! No!!! Men also feel uncomfortable! Men can also hit a trauma...Men also don't like uninvited attention. Men can also get uncomfortable!!! He has beaten the shit out of our school and college bullies Vanni...He was our protector...He always stood by our side Vanni...He stood by your side... Do you know he is still in talks with Comissioner Sandesh trying to get whereabouts of that Harry...but then it's different when you are a protector and when you are been attacked. We have all known Manisha for years but never did we ever think that she was mentally sick. But that's again not an excuse for what Anna went through...He needs you at this point Vanni...He needs you' Rudra said holding my hand while my eyes began shedding silent tears.

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I was standing outside his study rooom. It was locked. He wasn't opening door for anyone nor was he responding back.

'Omkar please...We need to talk' I said softly but there was no response. Finally my phone pinged. It was Omkar.

Please leave me alone!!!

I need space!

My heart felt heavy but Omkar was a stubborn one. It was getting late for the beautician so Gauri Aunty dragged me downstairs and they kept applying Mehndi on my palms. I was least interested with everything that was happening. Pattu tried to cheer me up. Sanskriti-Shivansh who couldn't stay back due to Sanskriti's university reopening had reached London and were doing a video call to know about Omkar's matter. Sanskriti tried to cheer me up too but my mind always went to Omkar.

The beautician finished applying Mehndi on my hands and left. Pattu tried to force feed me but Omkar's study room door was still closed and it gave me an unbearable ache in my chest.

I kept sitting on the living room couch and in sometime tiredness engulfed me.

After sometime I felt something soft near my head. I felt I was in air... like something was cooing me warm. I snuggled more into that warmth and then the fragrance hit me. A drowsy me, saw Omkar covering me with quilt but my eyelids were too heavy but I didn't want him to go away from me, so when he approached closer I held his wrist on pulled him into me and snuggled into him. I felt his body go stiff but I didn't want him to go away... I clutched my arms across his neck and whispered...

'Baby...it's me...your Mukta... please...lets just stay this way...please' my voiced was muffled and although his body initially was still, it slowly warmed up and then I felt his weight on me. He was heavy. Very heavy.

'Ommmmm...ahhh...you are heavy' I managed to say and he moved a bit...my eyes were still closed but his fragrance did magic in my body. I whispered in his ears...

'Hold me baby...sleep here...in my arms...I promise...I will be there for you' saying I snuggled my face into crook of his broad shoulder and neck and smelled his long hair...His fragrance made me feel home. I kissed his neck while he wiggled and I whispered

'Om....you are safe...you are with me...I will never let you go baby... never' I said and slowly I felt his huge arms circle my waist and again I felt his weight upon me. Yes he was heavy but whom are we kidding. I'm cooing a gigantic beast. Who weighed approx 110kgs. I raked my fingers through his long hair and massaged his scalp. My eyes still closed and although I massaged him to relax his body, I calmed down with his proximity and I slipped into a deep slumber.

When I woke up I didn't see Omkar in the room. Probably he left to office? I shook my head and observed my Mehndi which has dried and began shedding. Suddenly I realised my surroundings. I was in his room. Our...room!!!

Then I realised last night wasn't a dream. He carried me to our room. He...He cares!

I smiled at that thought and went to have bath and came out only to see my hand had turned dark brown.

I walked downstairs while Pattu and Gauri Aunty were busy with preparations. Aaji (Grandmother) was busy attending guests. I couldn't see Omkar anywhere.

'Anna asked you to get ready Vanni...he has to select your engagement ring. He asked you to get ready...come eat your breakfast' Pattu said putting some dosas and idlis on my plate and I gulped.

'Eat quickly...I know everyone loves what I make but then today Mom insisted to cook...I'm not keeping well since last night. I think I have had a food poisoning after I ate Ambuli Pachodi (Raw Mango chat) last night' Pattu said and honestly I was thanking god for saving me from her food.

I quickly had my breakfast while I got a message from Omkar...

'Reaching in 10. See you at the parking lot' and I quickly got ready.

I wore a off-white salwar and as my hair was still damp, I left it open. I combined my white salwar with the golden jhumkas and ran towards parking area.

For the first time I see Omkar in an SUV. Otherwise he always prefers either his caravan or his bike. He sat there wearing a blue jeans, black lenin tshirt wearing jet black goggles looking ever so handsome. I couldn't take my eyes off him. But what made me feel better was he was fine today. I was thankful to god.

I took the passenger seat next to him and we drove towards Hampankatta. There was enough traffic as usual. He didn't utter a word although the silence was killing me so I decided to break the ice.

'Om...Are you ok?' I asked while his eyes were still darted towards the road and he nodded.

Somehow although he was cool and calm, he didn't look like himself to me. He was changed. Probably the engagement jitters I thought and didnt probe him much. When we stopped at signal his head shot in the direction of my hands. He probably noticed my mehndi but he didn't utter a word. A blush adored my cheeks.

The silence however was killing me so I asked...

'Where are we going?' but he didn't reply.

I kept looking at him while he suddenly applied breaks and said...

'We have arrived!!!'

And he began unbuckling his seat belt. And I turned around to see which shop had we come to...but the sight infront of me gave me a reality check.

We were standing infront of the family court. My eyes filled up as I realised the date today was Oct 10th.

It was our divorce hearing. We were here to break apart our bond. We were here to finish this relationship. My eyes filled with tears as we began taking steps towards the small room. Our lawyer was waiting for us. I didn't know how to react and then I saw Omkar's face. There was no expression. It was completely null. Void!!!

Does it mean he wants this divorce?

He still wants this divorce???

Ofcourse...he wants this divorce.

My heart was breaking into pieces.