Chapter 37

He moves us backwards and he has me pressed up in between him and the door of our hotel room, his hands going to the waistband of my shorts. Deftly unbuttoning the shorts, he tugs them and my underwear down, but not off, so they both remain at my ankles, like strange ropes binding my legs in place.

Oh no...not this...anything but this...

Trembling under his hold, I know that I have to stop him, I'm scared. My legs are bent at the knees to keep my legs closed and my arms are pushing roughly against his shoulders. He doesn't budge. Tears begin to pour out of my eyes in desperation as he doesn't stop despite my efforts to get him to stop.

Please...don't do this to me...

Releasing my lips to attack my neck, I gasp loudly from both the pleasure of his teeth grazing my neck and the lack of oxygen from the long kiss. Chills run through my body as the force of his lips has my head tilting to the side, allowing him more access to my neck.

"Alexander...please..., "I stutter breathlessly, attempting once more to push him away. "We...we can't...please..."

His hand dips down, forcing my closed knees to part and one of his digits enters me. My breath turns shakey as he easily slides his finger in and out of me, allowing me to become accustomed to the unfamiliar feeling. Ripples of pleasure run through my body like electric shocks and when he adds a second finger, I feel the sharp pain of my insides stretching.

Maybe he didn't hear me... I reason with myself.

"Alexander, please," I beg louder, pushing against his shoulders once more. "I...I've never...not yet..."

Sliding in a third finger, I whimper softly in pain as he moves all three fingers in and out of me. My knees grow weak from the pleasure that replaces the pain as scandalous moans leave my mouth one after another as he repeatedly pushes his fingers in and out of me. At first, I believed I wanted him to stop but as my lower abdominal muscles contract slowly with every thrust of his fingers and when I feel that they are on the brink of being unable to contract any further. I realise in a second of vulnerable doctrine that I don't want him to stop anymore.

I want him to push my muscles over the brink...I want him to make me his...

Taking his fingers out of me, I surprise myself by whimpering at the loss of contact but the sound is short-lived because he bends low and thrusts his cock into me, lifting me in one movement. A scream of pain leaves my lips as he brutally tears through my hymen, and I muffle my scream against his neck as he stays still for a second to allow me to be accustomed to his intrusion.

Holy hell! It freaking hurts worse than getting shot!

When my scream of pain dies out, he pulls out of me and thrusts again, pounding me into the door as he wraps my legs around his waist. His hands go to hold my waist to keep me in place, his face is buried against my neck, his harsh breaths tickling my neck.

Slamming me into the door again and again. My arms wind around his back, my nails scratching down the thin fabric of his shirt.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

I hope no one and by no one I mean I hope none of my brothers is walking by our room because it would be a no-brainer to their dirty minds about what's going on and I'm not sure if Adam, Oliver, Keith or Lucas would take it well. This worry immediately leaves my mind as each slam sends pleasurable vibrations through my arms, down my spine, and right to where we are connected making moans of pleasure escape my lips with every thrust.

Who would have thought an act that made most of the girls I knew scream and cry could also feel so good?

The feeling of my muscles contracting rapidly builds up once more inside me. I groan as it threatens to overtake me and with one more deep thrust, it does. A feeling of release washes over me and with two more thrusts, Alexander stills with a long, slow groan as he shudders.

For a while, the only sounds in the room are our laboured breaths and the pounding of our hearts and in this period what he's done registers slowly but clearly in my mind and I find that I'm not angry or sad. No, I have no idea how I feel about it. Feeling him lift his head from the crook of my neck, his grey eyes meet mine as he looks me over and I see the shock sharpen in his eyes when he realises what he's done.

"Shit." His curse is no more than a whisper as he pulls out of me, causing me to wince at the unfamiliar action. "Shit."

With the loss of him holding me up as he steps away from me to pull up his pants, I slide down the length of the door to sit on the floor with my knees bent inwards, looking up at him with a little bit of shock that my legs are so weak that I can't even stand up on my own. His mouth opens as if to speak, his eyes are full of regret. I wait for the words, but they don't come.

After a moment, he walks into the bathroom.

Minutes later he returns with a damp washcloth, I whimper softly when the damp material touches the now very sensitive apex of my thighs, and I hear his sharp intake of breath at the sound that leaves my lips.

It's...very...how on earth do I describe this...It's...sore? I think to myself trying to give a name to how my vagina feels. I guess...the word 'sore' should be sufficient since I can't think of a better word or lack of thereof.

When he's satisfied that I'm clean, he straightens up to move away with the red-stained cloth that bears evidence of my lost virtue. Shakily grasping onto the doorknob for support to stand, my knees wobble unsteadily as I pull myself up from the floor.

"Damn it, Janette." He curses harshly, reaching for me just as my knees give out under me, I breathe out shakily as he takes on most of my weight to guide me to the bed of which he gently seats me on the foot of. "Are you okay?"

Am I okay? I repeat in my head, considering the question carefully. I guess if you can omit the fact that my vagina is still throbbing and my legs are weak then yes, I'm okay...

"I'm fine," I murmur, jumping like a scared rabbit when he takes my hand in his. "Sorry..."

"I hurt you." The pain in his voice breaks my heart as he says these three words that simply sum up the previous event.

"It's alright..." I smile shakily looking up at him as I slip my hand into his since I did retract my hand quite rudely just now and trying to be a little lighthearted I add. "I was going to lose it at some point anyway...right?"

From his expression, it's clear he doesn't appreciate my levity.

"Fucking hell," He spits out harshly, tugging me into his arms. "I was pissed off about something and I fucked you in anger. I shouldn't have done that."

I need to fix this...

Pulling back from his embrace, I watch with a sinking heart as his head slumps forward in defeat. Biting my lower lip, I try to lighten up his mood, "First of all, don't make it a habit to use such colourful language around Danny, I won't stand for it. Secondly, I'm okay. I don't know what all that was about but I do know that you were upset and you came to me though I would have preferred you to talk instead of doing that...but you're not some stranger off the street...sure, we don't know much about each other but you know we've managed to live together for weeks despite that and that makes all the difference. You can tell me all your secrets right now and it won't change a thing!"

To be honest...I'm blabbering...aren't I...

Looking at me once I finish talking, he murmurs softly, "Won't it? I wonder."

His voice is far away but seems to hold a challenge. I slide off of his lap to sit next to him in silence unsure of what to say.

"It won't," I affirm determinedly, standing wobbly from my seat on the bed. "I guess it should be compulsory now that we continue our conversation from before breakfast..."

There is a moment of silence between us as he looks at me as though I have lost my mind but the look disappears when he realises I'm serious and he nods in agreement. Smiling shakily, I head for the bathroom with shaky legs, much to his confusion.

"I...uh...need to wash up a little first..." I mumble embarrassedly in response to his confused face, holding onto the wall just beside the bathroom for support. "I'm a little bit bloody right now."