Full Transparency

Hannah

“It seemed pretty straightforward to me,” I told him, hating how my body responded to his slight touches on my hand.

“She saw you were watching us and decided to put on a show.” He sighed, looking defeated. At this point, he looked as stressed about this as I was.

“So she was lying? You didn’t exactly try to refute half the things she said.” My voice was strained. She may have set me up to witness it, but I still didn’t know what to believe.

“Honestly, I wasn’t listening to half the shit she was saying.” His tired green eyes met mine, and I could see that he was frustrated, but I didn’t think he was trying to hide anything.

Maybe I had been too quick to judge.

“Well, ~I~ was listening,” I confessed sadly. The whole exchange between the two of them had been running through my head for days.

He leaned back into the couch, facing me, his fingers still slowly caressing mine. I couldn’t deny the little jolts of heat I felt at his touch. But I still wasn’t sure if I could trust him.

“I know that now, and you could have just talked to me,” he said sadly.

I hated that I had pushed him away, but I needed space to think.

“If you know what I heard, then you know that I thought you played me. Why would I come to find you if I thought you were manipulating me?”

He looked deflated when I said that. “You actually thought I would do that?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to, but she just kept talking, and it all sounded bad,” I confessed.

“Yes, I was friendly with my last two female winners, but it was never romantic with either of them.”

“But Mallory said they left the studio after the challenge.”

Jordan nodded. “Well... the first one did after I filed a protection order against her.”

Whoa.

“She was convinced I was playing hard to get and started stalking me. I had to stop teaching because she would show up even if I swapped classes.”

His confession left him looking troubled. I couldn’t even imagine how that would feel. I’d never had anyone interested enough to stalk me.

“And you two never…?” I had to make sure. I didn’t want to be part of a pattern for him.

“No, Hannah. I never crossed that professional boundary with her.” He shook his head as he scooted a little closer to me, pushing a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

“But you did with the other one?”

“Not in a romantic way,” he said. “Last year, she was going through a divorce. He was abusive. She didn’t have many friends, and her family wasn’t local.” He took a deep breath. “We were friends.”

“But she left too. Mal made it sound like they left because you stopped paying attention to them.”

“Anita moved,” he responded without hesitation.

“The one from last year?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “We’re still friends on social media, but that’s it.”

I still needed to ask him the question. “There isn’t anything romantic between the two of you? I mean… she’s single now. If she was still here, would there be something there?”

He shook his head, placing his arm along the back of the couch. “No. She’s moved on, and I’m not available.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” he interrupted. “She’s pregnant.”

My eyes widened.

“Obviously, it’s not mine,” he quickly clarified. “She’s engaged to a new guy. They seem happy.”

I sat quietly in front of him for a few moments; one question still lingered. “Why does Mallory hate me so much?”

“It’s not you, Hannah,” he sighed as his fingers tugged at the shoulder seam of my sweatshirt.

“You could have fooled me. I’m pretty sure it’s me that she hates.” Besides the few times during class that she’d shown compassion, she had been pretty adamant in her distaste for me.

“Five months ago, one of her friends started coming to the studio.” He cringed. “Apparently, she liked me.”

“Oh,” I sighed. I could just imagine what one of her friends would look like. Thin, perfect, everything I wasn’t. “But you said that you don’t date clients.”

“I don’t.” He nodded and then clarified, “I mean, I haven’t in a while.”

“How long is a while?”

“I did five years ago,” he responded honestly. So not any recent clients.

“Is that why you don’t anymore?”

He nodded. “It wasn’t some dramatic thing. We casually saw each other. But she met someone she was interested in more than me.”

“After that, I really didn’t date much, but never with people from the studio. I didn’t want to risk the reputation of the gym by making things too personal with clients. My professional life was more important than some fling.”

“Does Mallory’s friend still go to the studio?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I told her I wasn’t interested in dating, and she dropped her membership. Mallory was upset I wouldn’t try.”

“So that’s why she hates me? And you were trying to keep me at arm’s length with the no-fraternization policy?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire.”

“But then you broke your own rule.”

He smiled as he looked over at me fondly. “I told you some rules were meant to be broken.”

I returned his smile, and his grin grew even wider.

“The more time I spent with you, the more time I wanted to spend with you.”

“Even when I was a bitch,” I laughed dryly.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly an angel,” he confessed with a shrug.

“I was so irritated when you told me that you ordered Ty to leave me alone,” I scolded, and he looked amused.

“Yeah, I was there. I know.” He scooted closer, and his hand toyed with the loose hair that had fallen out of my bun. “It wasn’t just you, though. He had been flirting with some married members.”

“Oh shit.” My eyes widened. I knew he was flirty, but I didn’t realize he had been hitting on married women.

“Yeah. That was why I made everyone do sexual harassment training.”

“He’s been better.” I could see the difference in his behavior. It was still friendly, but not crossing the line into flirtation.

“He has. I think he realized that his behavior was going to get him into bigger trouble than just with me.”

“Are we forcing this? I’m not even sure where I stand with you. You ignored me half of Saturday night.” I sighed as I shook my head. “I felt like a needy idiot.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you on purpose. Mal kept pushing people in my path.” He looked as irritated as I had felt.

“I felt insecure when those women were fawning all over you.”

He laughed, and I felt my face flush with embarrassment. “The two brunettes?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “You kept laughing, and then the one kept touching you.” Jealousy wasn’t typically something I identified with, but I had felt it acutely.

“They were there together,” he said simply, seemingly unaffected.

“Well yeah, they looked like friends.”

“Yeah... they’re friends, all right.” He smirked.

“What?” I frowned at the way he said that.

“They’re naked friends.” He laughed, and my eyes widened.

“Excuse me?” I hoped he hadn’t seen them naked.

“They’re lesbians, Hannah.”

Well, now I felt stupid.

His rich laughter rang out in the space between us. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Maybe I should have just talked to him.

“They’d probably be more interested in seeing you naked than me.” His fingers brushed along the side of my neck, and I leaned into his touch. “But they definitely wouldn’t be interested in seeing that more than me.”

When I opened my eyes, his face was closer. His expressive green eyes were searching mine, but I wasn’t sure what they were looking for.

“Are we okay?” he asked quietly, his breath fanning over my face.

He smelled like chocolate, and I remembered what was still inside my pocket. My fingers jostled the wrapper, and he looked down, an amused smirk spreading on his lips.

“Were you going to cheat?” he teased.

“No…” I whispered, and I felt my cheeks start to flame. This was embarrassing.

“Hannah…” His hand reached inside my hoodie pocket and pulled out the peanut butter cup. “I thought you went cold turkey.”

“I did. But I forgot to throw all of them away,” I told him, looking away from his eyes.

“Forgot? Or didn’t want to?”

“I didn’t eat it,” I tried to justify.

“But you wanted to,” he said, his tone matter of fact.

I hated that he could read me so well.

“I…”

He didn’t look disappointed, more amused than anything. “It’s okay, Hannah.”

“But I’m so disappointed in myself.” My eyes welled up with tears, and he reached forward, pulling me into his lap.

“Hannah, calm down, sweetheart. It’s just a peanut butter cup,” he said in a soothing voice.

“But I came so far,” I whined.

“And you didn’t eat it. You may have thought about it—it may have even been in your hand—but if you were determined to eat it, you would have.”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” he asked curiously.

“I thought you didn’t really like me. I was avoiding you.”

He urged me to lay my head against his shoulder and ran his hand down the side of my head. “You were avoiding me because you overheard something that didn’t paint me in the best light. I don’t blame you for stepping back.”

“Parker kept pushing me to talk to you.”

“At least someone is on my side.” He laughed.

“I was just afraid that all my feelings were one-sided.” My voice was quiet, but from the way his arms tightened, I knew that he heard me.

“They’re not,” he assured me.

“Look at me,” he murmured as he gently pushed on my chin.

I raised my head and looked into his eyes. My breath caught at what I saw there. This whole situation was hard on him too.

“Can I kiss you?”

I hadn’t even finished nodding, and he pulled my face toward him, cupping my jaw and tilting my head slightly so he could deepen the kiss, his tongue lightly caressing mine.

“Hannah, this isn’t just some fleeting attraction for me. I want to get to know you.”

“I want that too.” My heartbeat picked up as I rose to my knees and straddled his lap, pressing my body flush against his.

His shirt was still damp, as was the hair at the back of his head. I tangled my fingers in it and pulled his mouth back to mine.

We fell into a slower kiss, thoroughly exploring each other's lips. His hands slipped beneath the hem of my sweatshirt, pulling me closer to him.

My hands crept beneath the hem of his T-shirt, and he pulled away from me, breathless. “I’m sorry. I’m all sweaty.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” I rocked on his lap, and he groaned, tucking his face into my hair.

“Seriously, I’m disgusting. Maybe I should go home and get cleaned up.”

“No... I don’t want you to leave,” I pleaded, trying to pull him closer.

“I could come back,” he offered, but I didn’t want him to leave.

I still wasn’t convinced he was real... and wanted me.

“But you have to be up early. It’s already past your bedtime,” I reasoned. If he left, chances are he wouldn’t be back, and I wanted to be close to him.

“Fuck my bedtime,” he grumbled, and I laughed, cupping the back of his neck.

“You could use my shower,” I offered.

“I do have a gym bag in the car.” He nodded, and I felt some of the tension ease.

“You could spend the night,” I whispered, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

“I could.”

His stomach rumbled, and I sat back, falling into the cushion behind me. My legs were still draped over his thighs, and he braced his hands on them.

“Sorry. I only had a protein shake after class.”

“Apparently, I need to feed you as well.” I smiled. It was the least I could do for avoiding him.

“I wouldn’t argue. At this point, I’m half tempted to steal that peanut butter cup from you,” he teased as he tried to reach into my pocket.

“You can have it.” I pushed it into his hand.

“Maybe we can share it after we eat something,” he offered with a soft smile.

“But…” I didn’t want to open a Pandora’s box of peanut butter cups. Testing my self-control wasn’t my idea of fun.

“I’ve got an idea of something we could do to burn off the extra carbs.” A naughty smirk formed across his full lips.

My mouth dropped open, and my pulse sped up as he leaned forward and kissed me, pushing my back into the pillows behind me.

“You better hurry and get that bag.”

“On it,” he winked as he pushed himself up and headed for the door. “I’ll be right back.”