Chapter 8 - Stargazing

Max kept good on his word and decided to invite the whole team over to his parent's place using the end of the semester as an excuse. The rents were traveling and the twins were out at a birthday party for the day. Which meant he had the entire house to himself. He didn't want to push his luck, but he was really hoping to get some alone time with Emma.

He picked everyone up from school early on a Saturday afternoon right before their Winter break. It was pretty comical seeing everyone packed into his car, just as Emma had joked about. He had taken the SUV this time so people could fit more easily, but he had also made sure she sat up front with him.

Tony had turned out to be a pretty cool bloke, they were currently playing a game of pool in the recreational room and he was completely beating him at the moment.

Of course the girls were all huddled up around the couch area, giggling and whispering conspiratorially as girls usually do. He was surprised to see Emma there in the middle of all that, but she was all smiles at the moment so he could only assume she was enjoying it and having a good time.

She looked over at him at that moment and he winked at her. She instantly blushed like crazy and the two other girls turned to look in his direction and whispered something among each other. If he didn't know any better, they were definitely talking about him.

"Yo' turn, dawg," Tony said nudging him and slightly shaking his head in amusement. "No wonder I beat yo' ass so easy."

He hadn't known Tony was all into the rapper scene and when he talked he sounded more like a wannabe American gangster with a Korean accent. Max was still trying to wrap his head around it and couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it before.

"Oh yeah? Why is that?" Max said as he went to prepare his next shot.

"All I got to say is...you playin' wit fire. You feel me?"

Max took his shot, which he completely missed, and sighed. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah, man. That girl... she messin' wit yo head dawg," he said pointing his fingers towards his temple, half mimicking a gun.

"I know," he said running his fingers through his hair.

"You want my advice? The girl...she like you, too. Just be careful man, you seen her dude? That guy destroy you."

"You think so?" Max asked.

"Yeah Max, he rip you in two second. No offense," he said, as he continued to masterfully work the pool table.

"No, I know that part. I meant...you think she likes me?" He felt like an idiot asking Tony this, but he hadn't really talked about Emma with anybody since he met her and knew he couldn't trust his own instincts anymore.

"Yeah man. Her dude...he an asshole. She not do anything about it, though. That fo' sho."

"How do you even know about all this? Do you think others know too?"

"Nah. People...they too into themself to know. I only know cuz I know, ya know?"

"Okay good. So do you mind...not saying anything? I really don't want to get my balls cut off. Especially Emma, she'll kill me for even acknowledging this."

"No worry, man. I help a brother out," he said putting the eight ball away in a corner pocket.

"Thanks, Tony. Appreciate it."

"All good, player. Yo, I'm gon' head out. I see if I take some of these bitches wit me, you know what I'm sayin'?"

"Uh...yeah. Okay," Max said, trying not to laugh at the ridiculous conversation they just had. Who knew he would be spilling his guts out to Tony, of all people? Now, he was his one and only confident. "I have a driver...he can take you guys back if you want," he offered. It was the least he could do.

"Fo real? That sweet man!" Tony said clasping him on the shoulder. He then turned to the larger group and shouted. "Yo! This mothafucka's got a driver. Fuckin Tony Danza and shit. He da boss. We be wit Morgan Freeman Drivin' Miss Daisy. What what! Who wit me?"

Everyone started oohing and ahhing at once and almost in unison they got up preparing to leave. So much for the group outing, he thought as people approached him to thank him and say their goodbyes.

He noticed Emma lagging behind and fidgeting all of sudden.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just...Roy was gonna pick me up but maybe I should just..."

"Don't worry about it," he interrupted her. "Stick around for a bit."

"You sure?"

"Yeah...I'm not going back to my flat until later tonight. I can show you around if you want."

"You have your own place?" she asked in awe.

"Yeah, it's just a flat near the Uni. Makes it easier to get to school," he said shrugging.

"Look at you, fancy pants."

"I try," he smirked. "Shall we?" he asked offering his arm. "I will present to you...La Maison Durant."

"More like Chateau Durant, from what I've seen so far."

"I guess you could say that."

He proceeded to show her around, taking his sweet ass time in the process. Yes, this group outing idea had definitely been a good call. She seemed a bit distracted though, as if her head kept taking her somewhere else. But every time he was about to ask her if she was okay, she would perk back up and throw some witty comment his way.

He was quickly showing her the outside pool area as it was cold out, when she went to sit down on one of the patio recliners and looked up at the sky. "Does it always look like this?" she asked curiously.

He went to sit down next to her and looked at the scattered stars across the sky. "Yeah, for the most part."

She didn't say anything for a while and just kept on staring up at the sky, almost nostalgically. She was clearing thinking about something, so he decided not to interrupt and enjoyed the companionable silence instead. She suddenly took a deep breath and started talking.

"When I was younger, I think I was 12 at the time, my parents took us on a trip to Brazil. My dad apparently had a business trip planned and my mom convinced him to take all of us. We went to the Amazons and took this trip down the river and stayed at a lodge in the middle of the jungle. That first night, they took us out to go caiman spotting in the lake. My parents had fought that day about something so it was just me and my mom. It was pitch black outside and everyone was all excited to spot the caimans in the trees and take pictures with them and whatnot. But I just remember lying back on this small row boat and looking up at the sky that night. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Probably still is. It was just plastered with millions of stars...you could barely even see a black spot because it was just completely filled with light across the sky. As if it had been painted or something. And I kept reaching my arm out towards the sky because they looked so close I thought I would be able to touch them."

She said that last part reaching her hand out towards the sky and then she turned to look at him and brought her arm back down. "That was the last time we ever took a family trip together like that. My mom got sick after that and...well, you know the rest. Anyway, I always remember that moment and how peaceful it was. Like I didn't have a worry in the world. And now it sucks because I always compare how the stars looked back then to what I see now in the sky, but it'll never be the same. It's all dark. This picture I have in my mind of the stars...it's just crazy to think that's how it should be when it's not."

Max just stared at her, completely mesmerized by her story, trying to picture this little girl stargazing in the night. It made complete sense to him that she would idealize that moment, having all her hopes and dreams right in front of her, only to be shattered and taken away from her. He had never understood what loss could mean to someone, but now he knew and hoped to god he would never have to feel that way. But looking at Emma right now, something told him it was bound to happen to him sooner or later.

"Sorry, didn't mean to go all out on a tangent," Emma added, suddenly looking embarrassed.

"No...that was..." incredible, he wanted to say, but it sounded like the wrong word to describe it. He needed a better word, but didn't think there could possibly be one in the entire dictionary that remotely defined everything he was feeling inside. "Thank you for sharing that with me, Em. You have no idea...Holy shit, I need to show you something right now," he almost whispered, as he suddenly remembered.

"Show me what?"

"It's part of the grand tour," he said standing up and grabbing her hand excitedly. He pulled her back towards the house, almost running, and led her upstairs towards the top floor. He passed through a long corridor until he arrived at the place he had been thinking of. He only hoped it hadn't been changed much over the last year.

Max was about to open the door when he realized it would be better to get the full effect. He grabbed Emma's shoulders and moved her to the side of the door, with her back to the wall.

"Wait here," he said as he went to open the door and turn on the lights. He inspected the room quickly and was relieved to see it looked the same.

"What on earth are you up to now, Max?"

"Good things come to those who wait," he said. "Okay, close your eyes. No peeking," he instructed.

He covered her eyes with his hand and led her into the room, closing the door behind them and turning off the light switch with his free hand. He positioned her in the middle of the room and uncovered her eyes.

She only looked at him first in the dark, clearly not understanding what was going on. But then he motioned towards the ceiling and her mouth instantly opened in awe once she adjusted her vision.

It had been a long time since he had been in the room himself, so the display of glow in the dark stars glued onto almost every inch of the ceiling surprised him as well.

"Look familiar?" he asked.

"Max, this is incredible. Did you do this?"

"It was Nico and Sofia's project but I helped them out. It's pretty cool, huh?"

"How long did it take you?" she asked.

"About a month, I think. Sofia was really into it a few years back, but then she lost interest in it. Here, let me show you something else."

He led her to a desk by a window and sat her down in a chair. "She even begged my parents to buy her a telescope and she never asks for anything," he said adjusting the instrument in front of her. "Let me see if I can remember how this works." He crouched down beside her and started adjusting the settings of the lenses. "Have a look."

He watched her look intently through the telescope with a huge smile on her face. God, she was so beautiful.

"This is so cool, Max. I can't remember the last time I looked through one of these."

She stopped looking through the telescope and turned to look at him instead. He was now kneeling down next to her with his arm around the chair.

"So? Is it anything like Brazil?" he asked.

"Almost. I guess I'm just missing a boat and a river," she smiled.

"Hmmm. Let me see what I can do about that," he said looking around the room. He spotted a fluffy blanket draped over a couch and went to pick it up. He unfolded it and spread it out on the floor. "Here's your boat," he said lying down on it. "I guess I'll have to owe you the river."

She smiled again and went to lay down next to him. "At least it's a comfy boat."

"It really is," he said looking up at the stars.

They stayed that way for a long time, neither of them saying anything. He still couldn't believe he finally had her to himself and could just enjoy the moment without anyone interrupting or fearing he would get his ass kicked.

"You're right. This is very relaxing," he said.

"I know. I could just stare at this for hours," she said turning to look at him.

"Yeah, me too," he said watching her wistfully.

He caught a small blush spread across her cheeks before she turned her gaze back to the ceiling.

"Can I ask you something, Max?"

"Of course."

"That day I had a panic attack in the bathroom. How did you know how to do that?"

"To get you to calm down, you mean?"

"Yeah. I've been meaning to ask you. It was so quick, almost effortless."

"That was all charm. I have this effect on women, you see."

"Oh, c'mon. It was more than that."

"I'm kidding, Em. But I like that you think it was part of it." He let out a breath and turned to look at her. "Sofia...she has something similar. It's more like nightmares and she'll wake up in panic. It doesn't happen very often, but I guess we all learned how to help her when it does."

"Wow, that's amazing. She's lucky to have you guys."

"Yeah, well she's the real baby of the family and the only girl so we look out for her. What about you? Do you get them a lot?"

"Every now and then. I started getting them when my mom passed away, but I've learned to control it more over the years. I usually get them if I'm really stressed, like a particularly bad day at work or some type of overwhelming situational trigger. Roy has seen a fair share of them, but I think he just gets frustrated because he doesn't know what to do or how to help me."

"I'm sorry, Em. Just remember to breath deeply. Even if you feel like your heart is going to explode out of your chest, you need to bring it down to get your balance back. Focus on breathing and block everything else out."

She nodded and looked back up at the stars. "Thank you, Max. I'll remember that."

"Emma?"

"Yeah?" she asked somewhat nervously.

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

He shifted his body towards the side, resting his head on his arm. "I mean...Do you like your life as it is now?"

She turned around to face him, mimicking the same position. "I like living here, that's for sure. I don't know...I guess there's always things that could be changed or be better, but life's never perfect."

"What would you change?" he asked curiously.

"In an ideal world, a lot of things. My relationship with my dad, things with Roy..." she shrugged. "Why do you ask?"

"Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude. I just want to understand it."

"Understand what?"

"It's just when I look at you...I see this incredible, strong girl who doesn't take shit from anybody. Especially me. And I love that about you. But then with the people that are closest to you and are the ones that matter the most, you're completely different. It's like you're another person almost."

Emma sighed heavily. "I know. I guess it's because I care. I have a vested relationship with them. With other people, it's not like that so I can just act however I want."

"So you don't care about me then."

"You know I do, Max."

"But you don't take shit from me."

"I hadn't really thought about that. You definitely don't fit the bill. Maybe you're just different. Or maybe I'll change soon and let you walk all over me," she said humorlessly.

"Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't want you to change the way you are with me. I wouldn't change anything about you, Em."

She smiled shyly and looked at him with the most adorable expression on her face. He heard her phone vibrate and she took it out of her pocket momentarily. Her face completely changed as she looked at her phone. It was filled with disappointment, anger, and that underlying sadness he hated seeing in her and had just been asking her about. She typed back a quick response and turned it off, tossing it behind her in exasperation.

"Everything okay?" he asked concerned.

She simply nodded without saying anything.

"Do you have to go?"

This time she shook her head. "No," she said giving him a small smile.

"Okay," he said, not really understanding her expression. It was almost as if she seemed amused by some inside joke or something.

"So what are you going to do with me now?" she asked so softly he thought he heard her wrong at first. But then she scooted up closer to him and nervously bit her lip.

"Emma," he breathed. He brushed back her hair and looked intently at her glistening green eyes. "What the hell are you doing?" he whispered.

"Not taking shit from anybody," she said.

"Is that so?" he asked intrigued. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her even closer to him so that their bodies were perfectly aligned with each other.

"Yeah. Someone told me I shouldn't do it anymore."

He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "Sounds like a smart guy."

"Yeah, well sometimes," she said with a grin.

His vision dropped to her lips and all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her. Having her this close to him was driving him crazy. Is that what she wanted though? He felt like he didn't have the luxury of waiting for her to decide.

The room suddenly became very quiet as he reached for her face and began tracing her features slowly with his fingers. She slightly gasped when he brushed his thumb over her lips and then she closed her eyes as he dropped his head towards hers.

"I need you to know how beautiful you are, sweetheart," he whispered.

In the back of his head, he knew what he was about to do was wrong. He shouldn't be doing this to her, but he couldn't take the temptation any longer. Besides, he had already crossed the point of no return and there was no going back.

"I'm sorry, Em," he said right before he felt her lips brush against his. That was all it took for him to thread her hair between his fingers and assault her mouth. He kissed her desperately, almost wanting to devour her and prove he was worthy of her. This was most likely his only shot and he had to make it count.

He took his time exploring her mouth and teasing her lips with his tongue. She was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted and couldn't get enough of the delicious feeling. He kept telling himself to pull back but she was right there with him, kissing him back with as much passion as he was.

His hand traveled down her back, pushing her impossibly closer to him, and finally settling on her waist. Her shirt had ridden up so it was so easy to slip his hand underneath it and caress her stomach. She was so warm and soft he could only imagine what the rest of her skin felt like.

Needing to feel more of her, he slid her underneath him in one smooth motion while still kissing her like a madman. She moaned when he pressed against her and he thought he could die in that moment. He reached for her hands and brought them next to her head, as he itched to explore the rest of her body but didn't trust himself or his wandering hands.

"Emma," he breathed. "Tell me to stop."

She didn't answer though and continued to kiss him back urgently. He gripped her hands tighter as his body gently rocked against hers. God, she felt so good. He wanted to feel the rest of her so badly.

"Please, Em," he said as he kissed her neck, nibbling and sucking below her ear. Her breathing was ragged and she kept moving slightly against him, the rubbing of their bodies officially knocking him out of sanity.

"Baby...I can't..." he said almost pleading with himself. But his body was telling him otherwise and he took her sweet mouth again with a groan.

He loosened his grip on her hands with the complete intention of undressing her, when she suddenly bit down on his lip and shoved him in the chest. He immediately froze and pulled back from her. Despite the sting emanating from his lip, he felt like someone had just poured a bucket of ice cold water on him.

"Fuck," he said tasting blood in his mouth and sitting back on his legs. "What was that for, sweetheart?"

"I'm so sorry, Max," she said moving towards a sitting position and covering her face with her hands. Her shoulders shook and it seemed like she was about to cry.

"Em, wait. Talk to me."

She only sighed and shook her head so he reached for her and settled her on top of him. He peeled her hands away from her face, but she continued to look away from him.

"I didn't know what else to do...to stop. It was either that or kneeing you in the balls. I'm sorry," she said regretfully.

"Sweetheart, stop apologizing. At least you have self-control, unlike me," he said chuckling and lifting her chin to look into her eyes. She blushed and looked away almost immediately. "Please don't be embarrassed," he said.

"It's not that."

"Then what?"

"If he finds out about this...Oh god," she said clearly starting to panic.

"Em...listen to me. I would never say anything. This is between you and me and that's it. He doesn't need to know. Okay? It's in my interest, too. I still want to be able to have children someday."

She nodded and looked into his eyes for the first time since they kissed. They were filled with so much emotion it nearly killed him.

Her expression changed as she inspected his face and landed on his mouth. "Wow, I really got you good," she said touching his lip with her fingers. "Does it hurt?"

"Not when you touch it," he smiled. "You wanna kiss it better for me?"

She half grinned and murmured something under her breath involving the word embarrassing again.

"Okay...that's it, Emma. I'm not going to allow you to be embarrassed by this." He picked her up and playfully placed her on the couch, lying down next to her. He reached for her hand and started tracing patterns in her palm.

She sighed after a while and peeked up to look at him. "So you didn't want to push me any further," she stated.

He smirked at her. "Trust me when I say I wanted to."

"But you didn't."

"Well, no. You helped with that, thankfully," he said kissing her temple.

"Why not?" she asked curiously.

He took a deep breath while he looked at her, debating whether she would take it the wrong way.

"You don't want to tell me?"

He intertwined their fingers together, relishing the simple feeling. "You don't deserve that and I didn't want to take advantage of you. I already feel incredibly selfish as it is."

"Oh."

"So how long do you have?" he asked wanting to change the subject. "Do you want to...stay...with me?" he asked suddenly nervous.

"I can't, Max. I should probably go soon."

"But would you want to...if you could?"

She sighed. "There's no point in answering that question. It's all hypothetical."

"Yeah, but one could gather some good insights from it," he said smiling.

"Which is exactly why I shouldn't say anything," she smiled back. "Can I call a cab or something from here?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'll take you."

"Thanks, Max."

"Do you wanna go now or like in two hours? Maybe three to four....even six? Okay maximum eight, that's where I draw the line," he joked.

"Don't push your luck, buddy," she said starting to get up.

"Okay, but before we go...I have something for you." He went by the desk with the telescope and opened up a few drawers before he found what he wanted.

He handed her a packet of glow in the dark stars. "I think the light is already around you, but in case you need to see more stars at night. Then again, you could always come here if you like."

She smiled at him and then surprised him by giving him a huge hug and kissing him on the cheek. "You know you're like the cutest guy ever."

"Cute? I don't like cute," he said mock complaining. He reached for her hand and led her back downstairs.

"So what do you prefer, tough guy?"

"I don't know. Sexy, hot, manly...something along those lines. Anything but cute."

"Okay, so I'll rephrase what I said. I think you're the manliest guy ever for giving me a packet of stars," she said grinning.

"See? That sounds so much better."

They reached the garage and he led her towards his car. "I can't believe how cold it just got," she said once they were inside.

"I know, it's pretty bloody cold right now." He started up the GPS and typed in her address after asking it from her.

Emma started shaking and began rubbing her hands together. "Can you put the heat on?"

"As you wish, my lady. I'll also put the seat warmer on for you. It'll keep your bum nice and toasty."

She laughed. "Just make sure it doesn't make my bum melt away."

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that fine ass of yours," he said as he drove away.

"Do you really mean that or do you say it figuratively?"

"About your ass?"

"Yeah, I mean you talk about it a lot but you haven't even seen it."

"I've seen enough. Trust me. I know it's lovely."

"Well, if you insist," she said smiling.

He loved seeing her smile. He didn't think he had seen her smile so much since he met her and really hoped it was because of him. He had to tread lightly with her though, it wasn't like she was gonna dump Roy all of a sudden after one kiss. Which reminded him...

"What are you going to tell Roy? About tonight?" he asked her.

She sighed. "He's out at some party. Probably drunk already."

"So he didn't care you were with me?"

"He gave me a lot of shit about it at first. But he couldn't really say much after I told him it was a group thing."

"Does he usually go out without you?"

"Lately, yeah. He's been in some crazy party mode. He used to ask me to go with him at first, but now he doesn't bother. I've been focused on school, so I'm not interested in going out until 6am every day, you know?"

"Who does he go out with?"

"People from his class, I guess. Not exactly sure."

"The offer still stands, just so you know. If you want to come to my flat."

"Thanks, Max. I just think it's not a good idea right now."

"Okay, you're probably right. Just write this down just in case. Actually, just memorize it. Ayala 89, apartment 2B. It's not far from your place, probably a 20 minute walk. Will you remember?"

"Yeah. So 89, last year of the '80s. Looking fine in '89. And then 2B. To be or not to be, that is the question. Easy as pie."

He reached for her hand and brought it to his lips to kiss it. This girl was beyond adorable. "Mi casa es tu casa. Whenever you want, Em. I'm serious. Just show up anytime."

She nodded at him as he pulled up to her street. He parked the car and killed the engine. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah. Maybe we should just lay low for a bit?"

That's the last thing he wanted, but unfortunately he didn't have much of say in the matter. To be honest, he felt relieved that Roy was out in party mode. He didn't think he would be able to just drop her off otherwise, knowing he was bringing her home to him. Either way, it made his head explode with jealousy. The asshole certainly didn't deserve her.

"Max? Are you going to be okay?"

"Don't worry about me, sweetheart. For what it's worth, I had an amazing time with you today. Thank you for that."

"I had an amazing time, too. Have a good night, Max," she said getting out the car.

"Later, sweetheart."

He watched her until she disappeared into her apartment building, and then dropped his forehead against the steering wheel. He was officially in deep shit after tonight.