Dr. Brandt: Chapter 29

I loved the rain; it reminded me of the trips my parents and I took to Europe. My father always had the most exciting plans for us when we arrived, and then it seemed to rain the entire time we were there.

Not even money could ensure that my father’s plans didn’t fall through, and he had more money than he or generations to come could spend in their lifetimes. Even so, the rain forced a change in our plans every time.

My father never allowed the weather to ruin his mood, though. Instead, he found a way to do something entertaining, even if it was playing cards around the kitchen table as a family. And we loved it because even though daily life seemed to keep us busy and apart, little things brought us back together.

Even though my father raised me not to depend on money for happiness but to appreciate the freedom it gave, I somehow wound up doing the opposite. I’d somehow lost myself along the way, and, as Jim said earlier, I’d started to believe everything was owed to my spoiled ass.

What this boiled down to was that I always assumed I would inevitably get what I wanted because, so far, I had. I’d never met any resistance in my rise to success. Granted, it took hard work to get where I was.

Nothing had been handed to me, but I’d also stomped on people without realizing it to get there. I’d had the perfect girlfriend—total wife material—and I’d walked away because what I wanted was more important. Now that fate had brought us back together, I’d just assumed that it’d be water under the bridge and my big, heartfelt declaration of love would be enough to get what I wanted. I was wrong.

I knew I’d been selfish with Jessa, and I always felt bad about it, but I understood now that saying sorry and expecting things to work out just because I wanted them to wasn’t how the world worked.

I was a piece of shit who’d walked away from a treasure, and I didn’t deserve that woman one bit.

I wanted to believe that fate brought Jessa and me together again so I could make everything right and be a father to my son, but why did I think a chance at a family was owed to me?

All I could do was look out at the rain and wonder how to make the best of a bad situation like my father used to. How did people get through stuff like this and come out happy on the other side?

Maybe I needed to let it all rest. Let it go, and deal with the decision I made sixteen years ago. That led me to become an accomplished pediatric neurosurgeon, and I couldn’t have any regrets about it. I made my choice a long time ago, and it came with consequences.

Fuck, I messed this shit up! I thought, standing up straight from where I’d leaned against the railing, wishing I had the courage to rejoin everyone for lunch just to be near Jessa again.

“Cam?”

My head snapped to my left, and I lost myself in her crystal blue eyes.

“Hey, Jess,” I said, and I could hear the sadness in my voice.

Fantastic, Cam, be a little bitch because that’s attractive, I thought, hearing how pathetic I sounded.

“Am I not Jessa to you anymore?”

Where was this coming from?

“You’ll always be my Jessa,” I said with more confidence than I’d displayed a second ago. “Always.”

She faintly smiled in return, which made me nervous. Did that statement make her uncomfortable? Jesus. What was wrong with me? I was anxious, vulnerable, and insecure. I needed to pull myself together. There were way too many thoughts floating around my skull about right and wrong, and I didn’t operate in these gray areas.

“That’s good to know,” she said.

Every ounce of nervous energy in my system faded when she spoke.

Okay, there’s some balance here. Let’s go with that.

The crisp, cool air cracked with the energy that suddenly radiated between us. I had no idea what’d changed with Jessa’s attitude, and I didn’t want to jinx anything by asking.

“Was there a change in your plans?” I questioned, wondering what brought her out here.

“Yeah,” she smiled, that cute smile I remembered from long ago. “My plans to not give you a second chance have changed.”

Was not expecting that. At all.

I had no idea what my expression was because I was numb with shock everywhere but my dick.

She chuckled as if she read my mind, and I was face-to-face with the boldest, most confident, and charming woman I’d ever met.

“You are so beautiful,” I said, leaning against the rail, trying to pull my shit together.

She rolled her eyes because anyone who knew me knew that was cheesy as fuck.

“And you’re so handsome.”

“Are you coming on to me?”

“Maybe.”

Her chin lifted, and she had a look that teased every nerve in my body. I was at her mercy, and it seemed she knew it.

“Let me guess, the whales were getting a little wild out there, and it reminded you of better times with me?”

Still cheesy, but at least I sound more like myself.

“Oh,” she gave a goofy look, “that’s exactly what happened.”

I laughed. “Listen, I meant what I said yesterday on the beach, but I need to tell you that I know I don’t deserve everything I proposed to you. The family, the happiness, all that. It was foolish of me even to consider you’d give me another opportunity when I took you for granted the first time.”

“Thank you for saying that, and thank you for not pressuring me,” she said, turning to lean on the rail of the ship as I’d done. “We were young then and so dumb,” she laughed and shook her head, “but we did start a life together that we didn’t get to finish.”

“What are you saying?” I asked, knowing what she was saying but needing to hear it spelled out.

“I want to give it a shot and see what’s possible between us.” She turned and looked at where I stood in shock, staring down at the wind blowing through her hair. “Slowly, though. I guess I’m trying to say that I’m sorry I pushed you away so quickly. I just wasn’t expecting you to say anything like you did, and it took me by surprise. It scared me.”

“When has the fearless Jessica Stein ever been afraid of anything?” I smiled and felt the barrier drop between us.

I stepped closer to her and moved a strand of hair from her neck, letting my fingertips gently caress along her décolletage. I’d give anything to have my lips running along this warmth of her skin, to taste the sweet fragrance of her perfume.

Slow the fuck down, Cam.

Jessa’s eyes never left mine, and I could see how different a woman she was from when I knew her in college. The woman who stood before me now shook me to my core. I felt her confidence and beauty, and my desire for her rose with every breath I took.

“I never stopped loving you,” I said in a low voice.

Before she could answer and I could make the next move, the wind picked up and blew the moisture from the rain onto the balcony of the yacht where we stood.

Jessa squealed, and I made my move. I swept her off her feet, literally, and my next plan was to sweep her off her feet in every other sense. I had my Jessa back. I knew it, I felt it, and I was never letting her go.

That was the last thing I thought before my lips met hers.