Book 10: Chapter 4:

“Crap,” Tabitha said while in the middle of working on the submarine’s hull.

“You know, I feel like hearing ‘crap’ from you all of a sudden is a bad thing,” Fenrir replied, still serving as her obedient servant who more or less only existed to hand her whatever she needed at the moment.

“I’ve got a problem.”

“That makes it sound even worse.”

“Ya see, dog boy… I just got inspired.”

“Alright, now it sounds like a good thing.”

“Inspired for somethin’ else.”

“Neutral thing.”

“I’ve been hearin’ some of the NPCs talk about how the land around here ain’t too fertile. Sure, it gets the job done, but it ain’t gettin’ the job done as much as it could be.”

“Alright. Go on. It’s still a neutral thing right now.”

“So, ya know what we need to do? Ya know what every basic civilization has figured out at one point or another to improve farmin’ and all that?”

“What?”

“Proper irrigation. We don’t got any irrigation systems up and runnin’ yet. Farmers outside the town are just relyin’ on good ol’ rain and the river. But instead of tryin’ to do things around the river, why don’t we bring the river to their crops? There’s enough of it to go around, and that water is plenty clean and healthy since it’s comin’ from the mountains. Least, I think that’s how it works.”

“Just because water comes from mountains doesn’t mean it’s the cleanest there is. There can still be bacteria in it from animals dying or shitting in it upstream.”

“Yeah, but do ya really think we’ve got to worry about that in this game?”

“Probably not. As realistic as this game tries to be, it’s not like it’s simulating people getting diarrhea from drinking contaminated river water.”

“Exactly. The important thing is that it’s more consistent than rainwater and ain’t salty like ocean water. But there’s only so much space to farm right next to the river, and you’ve also got to worry about floodin’. So, why not just safely bring the mountain water to the farms? They don’t have to compete for space either. More space, better irrigation, more NPCs movin’ up here to farm, more players who’ll get interested in it, too, and the bigger our place will grow. Ya want a big and proper city, right?”

“I… never really put much thought into it. I just wanted a place where we could all chill with NPCs. Admittedly, as soon as I actually got one and was put somewhat into a position of power for it, I had no idea what to do. That’s why I handed the reigns over to Nell.”

“Tch. Go figure. A man has all these grand, fancy ideas about what he wants to do, then gives up and tosses all responsibility to the woman as soon as he’s got it.”

“I think a better comparison would have been a kid who is begging his parents for a dog, promises to take care of the dog, gets the dog, and then never takes care of it so that the parents are forced to.”

“Don’t help me insult you. It’s weird. Also, what makes that one better?”

Fenrir pointed at his ears with one hand and his tail with the other.

“Oh. Yeah, alright, that’s a better one.”

“But seriously, I kind of feel the need to defend myself here. It’s not like I completely threw all responsibility onto Nell. I’m just letting her handle all the real big picture stuff while I focus more on the military side of things. She’s the one who makes sure everybody is playing nice with each other and coordinating efforts between the different towns while I—”

“Order me around to build you a gosh darn submarine with ICBMs in a game that’s supposed to be fantasy?”

“Exactly.”

“Which still comes down to a man givin’ a woman orders to cover his arse because he doesn’t know how to do it himself.”

“You know what, I’m starting to see your point here.”

“Good. Maybe all hope ain’t lost for ya yet.”

“But seriously, if you want to work on irrigation, you can take a break from this to do that. I don’t want to make you work on anything you don’t want to work on. Plus I figure that if you work on what you’re most inspired to work on, then the results will be better than if you weren’t inspired. So, work on the irrigation system while you’re inspired for it, then come back to work on the submarine when you’re inspired for it.”

“That sounds great and all, but it don’t always work that way.”

“I don’t see why it can’t.”

“Because this is more important. Not to mention that I’m obligated to ya to get this done.”

“It’s fine. I seriously don’t mind if you take a break to work on something else.”

“I know ya don’t, that’s why I’m annoyed. Ya make me want to go work on it. You’re enablin’ me. But I need to get this done before I can work on anythin’ else.”

“How come?”

“Because I’ve got enough projects I’ve started and haven’t finished already. I want to finish what I’m supposed to for once. Not to mention that this is important for our place’s security. What good is settin’ up irrigation and all that if we can’t defend what we’ve got? We’ll focus on defenses—well, offenses in this case, and then we can focus on the passive stuff.”

“I can’t say I’m against any of that, but I do kind of feel bad. I don’t want your inspiration going to waste.”

“If I can’t stay inspired until I’m ready to work on it, I figure I wasn’t really all that inspired for it in the first place. Just a fleetin’ fancy. If I’m really inspired, I’ll keep on thinkin’ about it and improvin’ it in my head until I’m ready to work on it. Only problem is that it’s a bit of a double-edged sword. Sure, I’ll get to think about it so much that it drives me crazy and I get full of ideas for it that’ll make it even better… but it takes away from me thinkin’ about what I’m currently supposed to be doin’.”

“Then shouldn’t you just go work on it?”

“If I do then I’ll be usin’ up all my energy on something that isn’t what I’m supposed to be doin’. It’s a lose-lose, ya see. Either I drop what I’m doin’ to work on what I’m really inspired for in the moment, potentially losin’ motivation to work on what I’m supposed to be doin’, or I keep on workin’ on what I’m supposed to do but get distracted thinkin’ about what I’d rather be doin’.”

“Or alternatively, it’s a win-win. You either get to focus on what you’re inspired for, or you get to finish what you’re supposed to be doing.”

“That’s bein’ too positive. It’s like turnin’ stayin’ loyal or cheating on your lover into a win-win situation.”

“Well, in a messed up way, couldn’t it be? You either stay with the woman you know loves you, or you find somebody who might love you more than anybody else. I know it’s a really fucked up way of looking at it, and you should obviously not resort to cheating to find stronger love or anything, but still. Those are technically positive outcomes.”

“If ya ignore everythin’ else around the results, sure. But ya see, negative things tend to stick around longer than positive things. Gettin’ a random compliment is pretty nice and might make your day. Gettin’ a random insult is more likely to stick with ya for days if not years. Sure, ya might find a new lover who loves ya even more, but what about the court fees from gettin’ a divorce? What happens to any kids involved? Will ya be able to peacefully sleep with yourself every night knowin’ ya betrayed the trust of somebody who loved ya and got emotionally destroyed by your betrayal? Not to mention potentially losin’ all your family and friends in the process. But if ya only care about the most selfish part of the outcome, sure, it’s a win-win.”

“I’m not trying to say it’s only a win-win, just that there’s more to it than being a lose-lose. It’s not fair to yourself if you only look at everything as a lose-lose. Everything has a bright side.”

“Then it comes down to personal ethics. I believe in gettin’ the work I’m supposed to be doin’ done. It’s goin’ to make me feel bad if I don’t finish it, and that’s going to affect everythin’ else I do. So, even if I might end up making a worse product because I’m distracted thinkin’ about other projects, I’d rather get what needs done done. Then I can be proud of myself and feel accomplished, not to mention I won’t feel like I’m lettin’ anybody down. Even if it ain’t always the most fun option, it’s the option I need to choose if I don’t want to feel like crap later.”

“I understand. So, you always had your choice chosen, and you just want to vent about how it’s going to suck because you’re going to be distracted and not do anything about it?”

“Exactly, dog boy. Just because I ain’t happy about it don’t mean that I’m gonna do anythin’ about it.”

“Couldn’t you write down your ideas or something? Maybe get it out of your system that way?”

“If the ideas ain’t good enough to survive in my mind, they ain’t worth puttin’ down on paper.”

“What if you had good ideas that you really wish you wouldn’t have forgotten about if you knew about them?”

“Life is full of ‘what ifs.’ No point in worryin’ about them. I’d rather focus on what is, not what if. What if is irrigation. What is is that we have an enemy who needs attacked with a fancy fantasy submarine capable of launchin’ missiles at them from a distance.”

“Can’t really argue with you there. But I’m going to say it again, even if it means enabling you and any bad habits you might have. This is a game. I want you to have fun. There’s no point in playing a game if you’re not having fun doing it, and I would never want anybody to do something for me if they’re not having fun doing it. So if you ever want to take a break to go work on something else, do it, and then I’ll hold you to your original project to make sure it gets done and that you don’t feel bad about it later. Got it?”

“No.”

“Good—wait. You were supposed to say yes.”

“And I said no. Look, in addition to everythin’ else I already said, sometimes ya can’t be selfish and only do what ya have fun doin’. I might not be havin’ the most fun in this exact moment, but that don’t mean I won’t have fun later, not to mention that—sometimes—doin’ the not-so-fun things enables me to do things that are actually fun later. Stickin’ with you and helpin’ ya out has been a lot of that. Sometimes I don’t have fun doin’ all the things ya want me to do, but it’s because I do them and stick around that I’m able to do all the other things I actually want to do and have fun doin’.”

Fenrir sighed, but he couldn’t argue against anything she said. Sure, his feelings told him that she should take it easy and just focus on having fun, but she was being responsible instead. Logical, even. She was self-aware about how she treated her projects, understood her own feelings, and have a work ethic that she strived to stick to. There was nothing there that Fenrir could fault her for. Only things for him to respect her for. Even if it made him feel bad, what mattered was letting her make the choice for herself to do whatever she wanted. If she wanted to focus on something that wasn’t that fun for the sake of being proud of herself later for finishing it, then so be it.

But… he still couldn’t accept it.

At least, not entirely.

“Eighty-twenty,” Fenrir said and crossed his arms over his chest. “No negotiation.”

“Eighty-twenty?” Tabitha asked him, crossing her own arms over her chest.

“That’s what I’m setting your work-to-fun ratio to. You have to spend at least eighty percent of your time working on things you need to work on, such as the submarine. The other twenty percent of the time, I’m going to force you to work on whatever project sounds the most fun to you.”

“Why should I listen to that?”

“Because I’m your friend and I’m worried about your health. So, please take it easy on yourself and make time for you to work on fun projects.”

“What if I find this fun again?”

“Then that’s fine. If you’re inspired and having fun working on this, you can work a hundred percent on it. Otherwise, only eighty percent per session.”

Tabitha let down her arms before letting out a long, dramatic sigh. “Deal, captain dog. If it gets ya to stop yappin’ so we can get back to work, I’ll accept that balance.”

Fenrir let down his own arms and smiled. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hand me Martha.”

“Which… which wrench is that again?”

“Dear lord, dog boy. Ya already forgot?”

Fenrir’s ears fell flat against the top of his head as he held Tabitha’s toolbox to her.

Meanwhile, trekking southward through the forest was the party of two with a quest to acquire meat.

And the air around them could not have felt more awkward.

Serra, walking at Saya’s side, kept on looking over and up at her to see if she was ready to flirt yet. Unfortunately for her, Saya wasn’t ready no matter how many long she waited for.

Then there was Saya who knew that she was supposed to be seducing Serra while on their quest, but she just couldn’t think of what to say. They ended up walking together in silence for over twenty minutes. The only time they ever broke the silence was to comment on how nice the weather was or a particularly pretty flower.

How does Fenrir do this?! Saya thought to herself. Even though she knew exactly how he did it, she couldn’t understand how to do it herself.

There Serra was, a cute girl open to being flirted with, expecting it, and yet… Saya was mentally frozen.

Thankfully for Saya, Serra was a predator in her own right.

“If you won’t seduce me, I’ll seduce you,” Serra said.

Saya turned to look at the smaller girl just in time to see her lick her lips. “E-eh?”

They were supposed to be hunting bears, but now it was Saya who felt like she was the one being hunted.