Book 4: Chapter 13: Patch 3.0: A Change of Pace

The little expeditionary group returns to The Shoebill and continues their discussion of building the city.

“I’ve only talked to that shortie a few times,” Rao says, “but we should be able to come up with a good plan for gathering resources and figuring out everything that we need.”

“Sounds good to me. Have any idea how long it might take to get a small town going on?” Fenrir asks.

“Building is easier here even if it’s supposed to be realistic, so a few buildings, a small dock, a farm, and all that shouldn’t take more than a couple of months if we’re all working on it. One month if we work hard every day.”

“Think we’ll just spend the first week or so gathering materials and then do all the building once we’ve stocked up on wood and stone and all that?”

“That’s what I’m thinking, bro.”

“I’ve got to admit, I’m kind of excited even though most people would probably think this is boring. Physical labor and building something with my own hands sounds way better than just choosing a plot of land, opening up some building plans, and clicking ‘build.’”

“Man, just you wait. It’s so satisfying to live in something you’ve built yourself. Now just imagine having a whole city that you helped build!”

“Nerds,” Oleander says. “I guess it kind of sounds fun. But… I have to admit that I really wasn’t expecting this to be how we spent our time in this game. You know, most people play games to kill stuff and grind levels and be awesome. We’re just… going around fishing and building stuff. It’s like culture shock compared to how we used to play games.”

“I get that,” Fenrir says. “Sometimes I still get the random urge to go and burn down the village of some noobs trying to enjoy the game, but—”

“But that’d make you an unforgivable dick,” Rao says, eyes narrowing in on Fenrir.

“Yeah. That.”

“You really don’t like griefers, do you?” Oleander asks Rao.

“They’re the worst,” Rao answers. “I’ve loved buildings things in games ever since I was a kid, and playing with others is more fun than playing by yourself. But, every single time, some dick would come along and either burn everything down, blow everything up, camp me and kill me over and over until I’d ragequit, or some other bullshit. It just sucks. It takes all the fun out of the game for people like me.”

Fenrir and Oleander look away as Rao talks.

Everything that Rao described sounds exactly like what Fenrir and Oleander once loved to do, and they would be lying if they said they didn’t find things like that amusing. Furthermore, Rao’s reaction to the topic is the exact kind of salt that they loved to get from people they ruined the fun of.

“Why can’t either of you look me in the eyes?” Rao asks them.

Fenrir and Oleander gulp.

“You guys are horrible. You’re lucky that you don’t do that anymore. Right?” Rao asks.

“W-well… we told you about how we stole this boat, right?” Oleander asks.

Rao nods.

“I… we kind of burned down their village while we were at it. But! They were dicks! They tried making Cass Cass fuck them and then kept on killing her until she ran out of respawns!”

“Okay. It’s alright if you’re doing that to dicks, but you haven’t done it to any normal people, right?” Rao asks.

“Don’t think so,” Fenrir says. “We killed, stole from, and burned down those garlic guys. Then… we got into some fights while in Port Tugator, but we only killed in self-defense, and the only guys we tried targeting were more assholes.”

“I mean, we were originally planning on using the city’s cannons to blow up Ull’s ship and start a miniature war in the city,” Oleander says.

“Bro,” Rao says.

“Li-listen… we ended up not doing that,” Fenrir says.

“Bro.”

“I promise!”

“Bro.”

“Wh-what?”

“You’ve got a spider on you.”

“What? Seriously?” Fenrir asks, straightening up and freezing.

Rao points at Fenrir shoulder. When Fenrir looks at his shoulder, he sees a large, yellow spider sitting on it.

“Please help,” Fenrir says.

“It’s just a spider,” Rao says. “What if it turns into a cute girl? That should be possible if a rock can turn into a dog.”

“I like spider girls, but actual spiders are different!” Fenrir’s voice cracks mid-sentence when the spider moves. “How – how did it even get on me?”

Oleander, Rao, and Corwin shrug – none of them caring too much about Fenrir’s predicament.

Then Shogun walks up in front of Fenrir and looks at him, then looks at the spider.

Fenrir doesn’t know what to expect from Shogun.

Shogun looks at the spider, gets a bit closer, raises one of his paws, and smacks it at the spider.

Some of the spider’s guts splatter into Fenrir’s hair. Whatever doesn’t land on the deck or in his hair gets all over his shirt.

Shogun then leans his head forward to lick the spider’s squished body into his mouth, chews on it a few times, and swallows before returning to Rock.

Rock, not minding that her boyfriend of a flying fox just ate a spider, cuddles right back up against him.

“I bet your girlfriends wouldn’t cuddle you if they saw you eat a spider,” Oleander says.

“I… every time… why can’t I just keep my hair clean?” Fenrir asks as he gives up on life – well, maybe not life, but he’s definitely giving up on trying to keep his hair clean. “I never should have made it white.”

“I guess white ain’t right.”

“Really?”

Oleander shrugs and says, “My superior dark hair doesn’t have those problems.”

“What are you two talking about?” Rao asks.

“Olly being stupid. That’s what. Anyways, I’m going to go jump in the water again to wash these spider guts off of me and out of my hair, and then I’m going to wake. I wasn’t really planning on being in-game for this long,” Fenrir says.

“Want to stay anchored in the river here?” Oleander asks.

“Yeah, we might as well. Probably a bit safer here than out off the coast.”

“I think I’ll take Shogun out to do some more looking around. See what me and the shortie are going to have to work with,” Rao says.

“Sounds good to me. Anyways, gonna go take a dip now. I’ll probably see you two tomorrow.”

With that, the group splits up. Shogun takes Rao back onto land, Oleander and Corwin do lewd things near the ship’s stern since that’s their favorite spot, and Fenrir takes a dive in the river before going below deck and contemplating his choices.

He could climb back into the hammock with the girls, but he’s pretty wet and he doubts that they are going to want to come into the game smelling like wet dogs.

Well, it’s not like it matters. Going to sleep and logging out of the game is as simple as wishing for it, so Fenrir sits down with his back to the hull, tells Saya to wake him, and then Fenrir finds himself as Ryouta once more.

Only, something hurts.

A lot hurts.

Everything hurts.

Ryouta tries moving and instantly regrets it.

“Really? I pulled all my muscles?” he asks himself before grumbling and whining to himself.

All of the work over the past few days has caught up to him, and now his existence is pain.

“This sucks,” he groans some more. “I wanted to cash in my sexual favors, but I’m not even in the mood now. It’s no fun if I’m hurting the whole time and just lying here without doing anything myself.”

“You done already?” Cassandra asks from the doorway. “And what are you whining about?”

Apparently, he was being louder than he thought he was. “Yeah, and I think I pulled some muscles. Like, all my muscles,” he explains.

“Need a heating pad? I brought mine.”

“I need to not hurt everywhere.”

“Okay, but until then, want my heating pad?”

“Maybe later. What’ve you all been up to?”

“Organizing our clothes, decorating a bit – the boring stuff that you’re bad at.”

Ryouta would feel offended if he didn’t know that it was the truth.

“How were things in-game?” Cassandra asks.

“Good,” Ryouta answers. “We got Rao to say he likes loli succubi, and we found a place to build the city. Once Rao and Tabs get everything planned out, we can start gathering materials and get to work.”

“You’re so weird,” she says with a sigh. “So, we just get done moving in real life, and now you want to do even more labor in-game? Are you a masochist?”

“Nah. That’s Alice’s thing. I’m just… yeah, I’m probably a masochist.” Ryouta tries to get up but groans and slumps back down.

“I’m bringing you the heating pad.”

“Thanks.”

“I didn’t know I was dating an old man.”

“Don’t forget my cane and dentures.”