Book 3: Chapter 12: Patch 2.0: Babies and Burgers

The group finishes up their burgers without causing too much more of a ruckus, nor are they further talked to by Marco and his booming voice.

Cassandra brings up the topic of what they are going to be doing in-game once they find somewhere to dock. “Seriously, don’t you think we should have something planned?” she asks.

“Why? We can just go with the flow, plus I’ve got some ideas of my own that are secret for now,” Ryouta answers. “Let’s just find some great fishing spots. Though, I did just get an idea.”

“What would that be, my hero?” Alice asks.

“Fantasy sex,” Ryouta answers bluntly, earning a surprised cough from Cassandra.

“Seriously, you perverted bastard?” Cassandra asks.

“Why not? I mean, we’ve already done it in-game before, and there’s all sorts of stuff possible there that isn’t possible in real life. Plus there’s all sorts of clothes and armor we could do it in – like cosplay.”

Cassandra facepalms and sighs. “I can’t believe I’m dating such a perverted bastard,” she groans.

“I think it sounds wonderful!” Alice takes his side.

Serra has only been paying minimal attention to the conversation as she has to try and read their lips to stay in the conversation, and that can be difficult when walking and standing in front of them. However, she’s understood enough to sign that she’s completely onboard with Ryouta’s plan.

“That sounds like a great plan!” Aiko announces.

“One,” Cassandra says, “I can’t believe I’m dating a bunch of perverts. Two,” she looks at Aiko, “you’re not invited to it.”

“That second part makes it sound like you’ve given up and are agreeing to the plan,” Ryouta teases.

“Shut up! It’s not like I have a choice if everybody else is going to be doing it,” Cassandra says with a huff and crossed arms.

“Giving into peer pressure is not good, Cassandra,” Alice says.

“It’s – it’s not giving into peer pressure!”

“So, you are saying that you are comfortable with the plan even if it were not for the rest of us agreeing to it?”

Cassandra realizes that she’s been backed into a corner and is being teamed up by everybody. Ryouta is the only one she feels that she can physically threaten, but that wouldn’t be enough for this situation.

“You’re all bastards,” Cassandra groans, unable to come up with a better defense.

“A bastard princess! Oh, such a scenario would be so tragic! I am just imagining myself born to a peasant mother whom has been abused and tossed aside by a wealthy and powerful nobleman, and all I wish for is to live my life in secret, but then on one fateful night, horrible men whom have found out about my lineage have come to—” Alice ends up mumbling against Cassandra’s hand.

Everybody that they are walking past is stopping to listen to the strange, foreign girl’s about-to-be erotic fantasy.

Cassandra squeaks and jumps, her hand leaving Alice’s mouth. “She licked me!” she whines with reddened cheeks.

“That’s what you get for putting your hand in front of her mouth,” Ryouta says.

“Serpents often use their tongues, after all!” Alice says.

“That makes me curious. I’ve never really looked or thought about it before, but do you have a long tongue in-game since you’re like a serpent?”

“My tongue as Nell is very long, my hero. I do wonder why you could possibly be asking me such a question, though. Could it be that you perhaps wish to experience how a long, serpentine tongue could be used in—” Her mouth gets covered up by Cassandra once more.

“You’re all horrible. Horrible bastard perverts. I’ve changed my mind, I’m not staying over because I have no idea what’s going to happen to me in my sleep with how perverted you all are,” Cassandra explains.

“That’s okay! I’ll take your spot,” Aiko sneaks back into the conversation.

“I’ve changed my mind again. I’m staying over.”

“You didn’t say I’m not allowed to stay, so that means I’m staying!”

Cassandra is ready to shout and fight over whether Aiko is staying over or not, but gets a calming surprise when Serra hugs her left arm and holds her hand. She ends up softly blushing and trying not to smile from how cute Serra is and how nice it is to be holding hands with her. Aiko is safe from Cassandra’s rage for now.

Well, Aiko would be safe if it weren’t for her hugging Cassandra’s right arm and holding her hand the same way that Serra is.

“W-what do you think you’re doing?” Cassandra asks her.

“I’m joining in! We’re both dating Ryouta so that means we have to get along and stuff. Isn’t that right, Ry-ou-ta?” Aiko asks, looking over at Ryouta whom is still pushing Alice’s wheelchair.

“Well, I’m dating one of you at least,” Ryouta says.

Aiko feigns a look of shock. “You’re breaking up with Cassandra to only date me instead? I feel kind of bad, but—” This time, it is Aiko getting interrupted by Cassandra when she takes her arm out from Aiko’s grasp and smacks her on the back of the head.

“Alice, I’m not sure I’m going to survive this,” Ryouta whispers to her.

“Worry not, my hero. I recall reading an article about bringing a dead mouse back to life, so perhaps the technology to resurrect you will arrive before you die!” Alice tries cheering him up.

Ryouta does not know how to feel about that information. On one hand, that sounds like cool scientific progress. On the other hand, she is not worried about him dying.

“I should probably buy a sleeping bag for the floor,” Ryouta thinks out loud.

“Why is that, my hero?” Alice asks.

“If you, Cass, and Serra are on the bed, and Aiko is on the couch, I don’t really have anywhere else to sleep other than on the floor.”

“My hero, you do not truly believe that you will be able to escape from sleeping with the three of us, do you?”

“It’s – that’s not the problem. The problem is that my bed just isn’t big enough for four people. It was already super cramped with just me, Serra, and Cass. There’s no way that I’ll be able to fit there with the rest of you unless we’re all piled on top of each other.”

“I fail to see an issue with that, my hero. Serra is petite enough to fit between your legs, and then Cassandra and I may share your sides!”

“And I’ll curl up on your chest like a cat!” Aiko butts in once more. Her intrusion to their conversation only lasts for as long as it takes Cassandra to grab her ear and pull her back over.

Ryouta’s concerns only grow stronger as they make their way back to his apartment.

“How am I supposed to meet up with you all again?” Aiko asks. “I don’t know how this game stuff works. Is it like, do I just have to walk to some place where you tell me to or something?”

“You’ve never played a game before?” Cassandra asks her.

“I have! I’ve played, umm, Mejeweled and Clash of Cats!”

“Mobile games don’t count.”

“Hey! Mobile games are still games! I bet I could kick your butt in them.”

“Haah? You couldn’t kick my butt in anything other than being annoying and not knowing your place.”

“Sounds like you’re afraid of losing.”

Ryouta looks over at the two girls taunting each other and immediately pictures them with cat ears and tails.

He shakes that image out of his head before he gets too excited.

Serra is stuck clinging to Cassandra’s arm and being moved around whenever Cassandra tries flailing it at Aiko. No matter how much Cassandra may be trying to move her arm, Serra is set on hugging on it.

“My hero, may I have a hint to what one of your secret plans are in the game? I must admit that I am horrible when there are secrets that I do not know, and I promise not to tell anybody else!” Alice tries convincing him.

Ryouta looks at the other three whom are all distracted, shrugs, and leans down to whisper into Alice’s ear. “Let’s just say that it has to do with helping out NPCs and others who want to live a peaceful life,” he whispers.

“I see! A noble goal most befitting of the one whom is my hero. What of your fishing addiction?”

“Pfftt, it’s not an addiction. I think it’d be pretty fun to organize a fishing tournament someday that isn’t as uhh, bloodthirsty as that last one was. I want one that’s actually focused on fishing and not just being the last crew alive.”

“I believe that my grandfather would get along with you rather well, my hero.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because you are so alike! You are both perverted men with elderly interests. I have never met anybody younger than fifty in reality with as much of an interest in fishing as you have.”

“So, you’re calling me an old pervert?”

“An elderly pervert whom has captured a young, pure princess to corrupt and taint!”

“Old guys have wrinkly dicks, though.”

“My hero, please do not ruin my fantasies,” Alice says with a disappointed sigh.