Book 2: Chapter 47: Patch 8.0: The Final Round

“We miss anything?” Jax asks, standing next to Morven with the rest of his crew finding a spot to stand and watch the screen. “Been bitin’ my nails waitin’ to get back here. Damn timer.”

“The wolf’s crew survived the last round and they’re about to catch up to the serpent,” Morven explains.

“Hah! I knew that dog would make it through. Glad to know our lil sacrifice wasn’t for nothin’.” Jax looks up at the screen and sees The Shoebill steadily drawing closer to the fleeing serpent. Below The Shoebill’s pursuit are the displays of The Steel Tiger and the longship waiting around the tower for The Shoebill’s return. “Damned bastards are still workin’ together and goin’ to try and steal the show, huh?”

“Looks like it. He’s been able to pull off a lot, but I’ve no idea how he’s going to slip past them with a serpent in tow.”

Jax slaps Morven on the back and smiles at the screen. “He’s young and has got a good head on his shoulders. Just believe in him for now! Besides, listen to everybody else already doin’ that exact same thing.”

The crowds are all cheering for The Shoebill and telling her to catch the serpent and win the tournament. Not a single cheer for either of the other crews can be heard.

“Show ‘em who’s the top dog!” Jax shouts with a fist in the air.

…

“Bring somebody with ya this time around?” Blackstache asks Ull after spotting the redheaded dragoness next to him.

“This is my partner, Liz. Liz, Blackstache,” Ull introduces them to each other.

Liz offers Blackstache a curtsy, and Blackstache responds with a tip of his hat.

He recognizes her as a member of what he’s presumed to be Ull’s slave-harem, but she lacks the chains, collar, and cuffs that he’s only ever seen her in. She’s even wearing a fancy looking dress that is crimson in color with a golden trim. With how Ull’s hand is placed on her shoulder keeping her close, he actually looks like a caring boyfriend.

“I’m not streaming, by the way. Decided to take a day off from that,” Ull says. “Let’s speak freely without worrying about all that usual nonsense, alright?”

“Ya give me yer word on tha stream bein’ off?” Blackstache asks. A few seconds later and Blackstache’s virtual companion confirms that Ull isn’t streaming. “Thank shit. You know how tiring it is talking like that all the time? You’ve had me on the spot with your constant streaming. Can’t let people see past the persona or they’ll lose interest.”

Ull holds Liz even closer to him. “I know the feeling. So, what parts did you give them?” Ull asks, looking at Rachel whom is standing behind Blackstache as usual.

“You saw?” Rachel asks.

“Of course. You think we aren’t watching them? Figure it’s only fair for you to supply them given that we’ve been doing the same,” Ull says before taking a sip of water from the flask that he keeps at his side.

“Glad to know we can try sneaking around behind each other’s backs without it being a big deal,” Blackstache says. “By the way, been meaning to ask you something, and now that the stream is over,” he looks at Ull and Liz, “how the fuck does sex work with you?”

That sip of water ends up almost getting spit out from Blackstache’s unexpected question.

“He is very gentle despite me always asking him to be rougher,” Liz answers for her boyfriend, causing the water to come ever closer to being spit out.

Ull hurries to swallow the water before anybody else says anything. “Let’s just say that it works carefully. Having the lower body of a deer has its advantages, but mostly disadvantages.”

“Is it human or what down there?” Blackstache asks.

“As for the tournament,” Ull changes subject, “what do you think is going to happen?”

Blackstache lets out a disappointed sigh and shrugs. “Well, your champs and their new friends down there are being boring and teaming up on that dog, so I figure that they’ll sink the dog and then fight each other for the serpent. Since we’re speaking freely, though, I’d love to see him somehow sink both of your crews down there.”

Ull chuckles and sighs. “It would be interesting if he were to somehow win, I will admit. Of course, if he does, I’m going to have to put my mask back on and be dramatic about it. You don’t even want to know how many thousands and thousands of comments I get every stream telling me to just burn that ship down in the middle of the night to repay them for stealing one of Yggdrasil’s branches. An audience full of roleplaying zealots obsessed with fictional nationalism can get pretty tedious.”

“You know, you’re not too bad when you’re casual like this. Since you’re admitting things, I’ll admit that I can’t stand when you’re acting all leader-like. You come off as a huge ass when you’re playing your part.”

“And you come off as an illiterate, fake Scottish-pirate hybrid with that accent you use. It’s a chore listening to you talk in that accent all the time.”

The two leaders look at one another and laugh.

“Sometimes I don’t know if I’m playin’ this game for myself or everybody else at this point,” Blackstache says. “Every time I try relaxing, my wife here kicks me back into work and keeps me straight. Can you believe I just wanted to be a bard, travel the world, and sing songs? Instead, I ended up being the damn king of pirates, and my wife won’t let me retire.”

“Because you have nothing better to do, and not having to work real jobs is nice, isn’t it?” Rachel interjects.

“I admit, the pay for leading a major faction and keeping the world interesting is pretty nice since the damn devs are too lazy to do it themselves.”

“That’s what happens when a game boasts itself as having the most player-driven world ever,” Liz says.

“You must be rolling in the money if you’re a popular streamer and the leader of a major faction. You’ll probably be able to retire in a couple of years if this keeps up!” Blackstache tells Ull.

“If we’re still around by then,” Ull says.

“You heard those rumors?”

Ull nods his head and returns his attention to the screen. “Let’s enjoy the game while we can. Maybe it’s time that both of us stop worrying so much about what everybody else expects of us?”

“Aye. Well, maybe we’ll worry just enough to keep getting paid.”

“True enough. Also… I want to apologize for what happened to your NPCs. I didn’t know that your city treated them so fairly. If I had known, I would have advised my champions to not act against them. I am also sorry that I cannot publicly apologize for that.”

“Don’t worry about it. I know not everybody sees eye to eye on the whole AI thing, and this city here is in the minority with how we treat them. Though, from what I’ve heard, a certain dog has some interesting dreams for them.”

“Is that so? He just keeps on getting more and more interesting. I have a feeling that I know him from somewhere, but I just can’t place him.”

Rachel bites her tongue and turns away.

“Yeah, the more I see him and hear about him, I swear that I know him. No idea from where, though. Oh, and even if he wins, we’re not going to war or anything like that, right? I’m really not feelin’ up to a war. I understand if you’ve got to be a dick for your followers and viewers, but just don’t join up with those women to the north.”

“Don’t worry. I already have plenty calling for war, but I don’t think the armchair generals plaguing my comments understand that there is zero point in going to war with somebody on the other side of the world over a position that would be of zero use to us.”

“One last question. What’s with your slave girls?”

“I’ve been fond of monstrous girls ever since I discovered them as a teen who shouldn’t have been on the sites that I regularly visited, and as much as I hate to admit it, acting like a sadistic, borderline rapist gets me a ton of views. I get just as many people who hate me waiting for more material to write articles about me who watch me as I do people who love me, and between my fans and my critics, I get plenty of neutral attention.”

“But slavery?”

“It gets the views, plus it was my partner’s idea,” Ull explains.

Liz smiles with closed eyes as Blackstache looks her over with judging eyes.

“Looks like the real show is finally beginning,” Ull says, pointing at the screen.

…

“You’re probably only going to get a single shot at this, so take your time, aim carefully, and only fire when you’re confident that you’re going to hook it,” Fenrir tells Serra, leaning over her shoulder.

“I can do it,” Serra says. “And I can just reel the hook in and try again if I miss.”

“I know, but I’m trying to put more pressure on you so that you get it right the first time.”

“Don’t make me rub my feet on your face again,” Serra teases.

“Wait, that was on purpose?” Fenrir asks.

“Shh, I have to focus.”

The Shoebill is finally within range of the serpent.

Serra stares through the ballista’s scope and uses the levers attached to the machine to rotate and aim it.

“Go for a body shot, center mass. Don’t want to damage its tail and don’t want to kill it, so aim for where you’ll do the least damage. You could even try to—” Fenrir gets interrupted when Serra fires the ballista!