Chapter 12

Catherine's pov

I was awoken by a panicked little baby this morning. I had forgotten to put her in a pullup last night due to all the commotion. Erika had an accident and was extremely distraught about it.

I opened my eyes to find her standing beside the bed, tears streaming down her face. The sheets were damp, and her onesie clung to her in uncomfortable patches.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, sweetie," I said gently, sitting up and reaching out to her. "Come here."

Erika hesitated, her face flushed with embarrassment. "I just- I-I'm not a baby, Cat. I can take care of myself."

"I know you're just my baby," I said soothingly.

She stood there for a moment, clearly torn between her need for comfort and her desire to assert her independence. Finally, she relented, climbing onto the bed but keeping a small distance between us.

"I'm so sorry," she mumbled through her tears. "I didn't mean to..."

"Shh, it's not your fault, sweetheart," I soothed, rubbing her back in slow circles. "It was my mistake. I should have remembered to put your pull-up on. There's nothing to be upset about."

"But I made a mess," she cried, her voice barely above a whisper.

"It's just a little mess, and it can be cleaned up easily," I assured her. "You're not in trouble. I promise."

"I've never done this before," she whispered, her voice breaking. "Not until I moved here. I don't understand what's wrong with me."

I held her for a few minutes, letting her cry it out. When her sniffles subsided, I gently lifted her chin and wiped away her tears with my thumb.

"There's nothing wrong with you, honey," I said softly. "Sometimes our bodies react to stress in ways we can't control. Moving to a new country, starting college—it's a lot to handle. Your body is just trying to adjust."

"But it's embarrassing," she said, her voice trembling. "I feel like a baby."

"Oh honey," I said firmly. "You're just going through a tough time."

Erika nodded reluctantly, still looking upset. I gave her a reassuring smile and stood up, lifting her with me.

"I can walk," she insisted, pulling away slightly.

"Okay." I said, letting her down, I wasn't ready to fight her on this.

We walked to the bathroom together, and I started a warm bath. While the tub filled, I stripped off her damp onesie and helped her step into the water. She sat down, the warmth of the bath seeming to soothe her.

"Feeling better?" I asked, kneeling beside the tub and gently washing her hair.

She nodded and looked down with an intense blush. She always was so shy during bath time. Selfishly, I loved when she was vulnerable, it made her need me. She didn't fight with me when she felt embarrassed, she just went silent and let me take care of her.

"Good," I said, continuing to wash her gently. "We'll get everything sorted out in no time."

After the bath, I dried her off and helped her into a clean pull-up and a fresh set of clothes. Erika squirmed uncomfortably as I pulled the soft fabric up her legs, the crinkling sound of the pull-up making her wince. Her cheeks were flushed, and she avoided my gaze, staring at the floor instead. Each movement seemed to amplify her embarrassment, her body tense with a mix of shame and frustration.

As we went back to the bedroom, she kept her arms wrapped around herself, as if trying to create a barrier against the reality of what had just happened. I could see the unease in her eyes, the way she kept fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. I quickly stripped the damp sheets, the smell of the accident still lingering faintly in the air, and replaced them with clean ones.

Erika stood awkwardly by the door, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Her discomfort was palpable, each breath shallow and uneven. The usual confidence she carried herself with was gone, replaced by a vulnerable, almost childlike demeanor.

"See? All better," I said, giving her a comforting smile. "No more tears, okay?"

Erika nodded, looking a bit more at ease but still somewhat distant. I sat down on the bed and patted the spot beside me, inviting her to sit.

"You're such a brave girl," I told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I'm so proud of you monkey."

Erika leaned into me, but her posture was still tense. "Thanks," she whispered. "I just don't understand why this is happening."

"It's okay to feel that way," I reassured her.

Erika nodded again, a few more tears slipping down her cheeks. I hugged her tightly, feeling her finally relax in my arms.

"How about we get some breakfast?" I suggested softly.

She shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. "I want to eat at work."

Concern flickered in my eyes. "Are you sure? You haven't been eating much lately."

Erika wiped her tears and took a step back. "I'm sure. I just... I'd prefer to eat at work."

I sighed, worry tugging at my heart. "Okay, but promise me you'll eat something substantial."

She nodded, her gaze still avoiding mine. "I will."

Reluctantly, I let her go, watching as she grabbed her bag and headed towards the door. "Have a good day at work," I called after her, trying to keep my voice light.

"Thanks," she muttered, not turning back as she left the house.

I stood there for a moment, the quietness of the house settling around me. The concern lingered, but I hoped that giving her space would help her feel more in control. As the door closed behind her, I made a mental note to keep a closer eye on her, ensuring she was eating enough.

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Erika's pov

I needed to get out of that house. I loved Cat, but I've been so different since living here. I avoided calling her "mommy," but she was like my mother, I supposed.

As I walked to work, the crisp October air helped clear my mind. Today was Halloween, my favorite holiday. The city was alive with decorations and the anticipation of festivities. Despite the rough start to the morning, I hoped the day would get better.

I hadn't even been able to celebrate the season because of midterms and arguments with Cat. I was supposed to go to that Halloween party with Calliope, but me and Cat got into a fight.

When I arrived at the coffee shop, Calliope was already there, dressed in a cute witch costume. She grinned as she saw me. "Hey, Erika! Happy Halloween!"

"Hey, Calliope," I said, managing a small smile. Her enthusiasm was infectious.

"Guess what? There's a Halloween party tonight at Josh's place. You have to come!" she exclaimed, bouncing on her heels.

My initial hesitation melted away. After the argument with Cat this morning, the idea of going out seemed both appealing and necessary. I needed a break, and Halloween was the perfect excuse. "Yeah, I'd love to go," I agreed, feeling a spark of excitement.

"Yay!" Calliope cheered, giving me a quick hug. "We'll get ready together after our shift, so you don't bail on me last minute."

"Hey that wasn't my fault, I told you my roommate went psychotic" I remarked. I felt embarrassed and incredibly guilty that I didn;t show up and didn't even let Calliope know until that next day.

"I know, I know, I was joking." Calliope laughed at my defensive tone.

The rest of the workday passed in a blur of customers and coffee orders, with the promise of the party keeping my mood light. By the time our shift ended, I was actually looking forward to the evening. Calliope and I headed back to her dorm to get ready, laughing and chatting about costume ideas and the night's plans.

Tonight, I hoped, would be a chance to let loose and enjoy myself. Halloween had always been my favorite holiday, and maybe this year it would be the perfect escape from the complicated emotions swirling around me. I could feel the excitement building as Calliope and I discussed our costumes, the music, and the people we hoped to see at the party. This was my chance to have fun and forget about everything else, even if just for one night.

As I slipped into my less-than-appropriate Dorothy costume from the Wizard of Oz, my phone buzzed. I saw Cat's name on the screen and contemplated not answering it, but decided to. She couldn't stop me if I was already out.

"Hello?" I said, trying to keep my voice casual.

"Hey, sweetheart," Cat's warm voice came through the line. "I was thinking, since it's Halloween, maybe you'd like to go trick-or-treating tonight? We could have some fun together."

I hesitated, feeling a pang of guilt. "Actually, Cat, I'm going to a party tonight."

There was a brief silence on the other end before she responded, "Oh, I see. Well, I just thought it might be fun for us to spend some time together."

"I know, but Calliope invited me, and I already agreed," I explained, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice. "It's just one night."

Cat sighed softly. "Alright, Erika. Just be safe, okay? I'll see you when you get home."

"Thanks, Cat. I will," I replied, relieved that she didn't push the issue further. "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, sweetheart. Enjoy your night," she said before hanging up.

I put my phone down, feeling a mix of emotions. Part of me felt bad for disappointing Cat, but another part of me was excited for the party. Calliope noticed my expression and raised an eyebrow.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, just Cat," I said with a shrug. "She wanted to go trick-or-treating, but I told her I'm going to the party."

Calliope gave me a curious look as she continued adjusting her costume. "Trick-or-treating, really? What are you, five?" she teased with a laugh.

I rolled my eyes, though a small smile tugged at my lips. "Yeah, I know. She's just... overprotective, I guess."

"Overprotective is an understatement," Calliope snickered. I couldn't help but laugh along with her.

We finished getting ready, adding the final touches to our costumes. As we stepped out into the crisp Halloween night, I felt a sense of freedom wash over me. I was ready to enjoy myself and embrace the night with my friends, leaving all my worries behind.

The party was in full swing by the time Calliope and I arrived. The house was packed with people in various costumes, music blared from the speakers, and laughter filled the air. I felt a rush of excitement as we made our way inside, the energy of the party infectious.

Not long after arriving, I spotted Josh across the room, dressed as a classic vampire. He waved me over, and I felt my heart skip a beat. Calliope nudged me with a grin. "Go get 'em, Dorothy," she teased.

I walked over to Josh, and he greeted me with a warm smile. "You look amazing," he said, his eyes taking in my costume.

"Thanks," I replied, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks. "You make a pretty good vampire."

We spent the next couple of hours dancing, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. Josh was charming and fun, and for a while, I was able to forget all about my worries. But as the night wore on, a nagging feeling of guilt began to creep in. I kept thinking about Cat, alone at home on Halloween. She had probably made plans for us, and here I was, partying without a care.

After a particularly fun dance, I turned to Josh, feeling a lump in my throat. "Hey, I think I'm going to head out," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

Josh looked surprised. "Already?"

"I know, but I just... I need to go," I replied, forcing a smile. "It's been great, though."

He looked a bit disappointed but nodded. "Alright, I understand. Text me later?"

"Sure," I said, giving him a quick hug before making my way back to Calliope.

"You're leaving?" she asked, looking puzzled.

"Yeah, I just... I have to go," I said, not offering much of an explanation. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Calliope gave me a concerned look but nodded. "Alright. Be safe."

The walk back home was filled with a mix of emotions. Part of me felt guilty for leaving the party, but a bigger part of me knew I needed to be with Cat. When I finally walked through the front door, Cat was sitting on the couch, a bowl of candy on the coffee table in front of her. She looked up, surprised to see me.

"Erika, you're home early," she said, standing up.

"Yeah, I... I felt bad for leaving you alone on Halloween," I admitted, looking down at my feet.

Cat's expression softened, and she walked over to me, pulling me into a hug. "You didn't have to do that, but I'm glad you're here."

"I won't go trick-or-treating, but I'll do anything else," I said softly, hoping she would understand.

Cat's face lit up, and she picked me up unexpectedly and walked me to the bedroom where she had a costume laid out for me. It was a soft, pastel-colored bunny onesie. I couldn't help but cringe at the sight of it.

"Let's get you dressed up," she said, her tone filled with excitement.

I let her help me into the fluffy piece of clothing. Once I was dressed, she guided me to the living room where we played games, watched Halloween movies, and she even fed me candy. The whole time, she treated me like her little girl, and despite my initial resistance, I found myself enjoying her presence, not her actions, but her herself.

"Let's watch a horror movie" I excitedly screamed as I jumped to the couch.

"Honey no jumping, that's very dangerous, you can get hurt." She scolded and I internally groaned.

"Let's watch the Chainsaw Massacre!" I ignored her scolding, "It's one of my favorites." Cat took a seat next to me and picked me up and placed me on her lap.

"Monkey, I think that's too scary for mommy's little baby, you'll have nightmares and not be able to sleep." Her infantile tone stayed consistent throughout our conversation.

"I'll be fine," I put out my pinky, "I pinky promise mommy." I added a "mommy" in there to seal the deal.

Cat's eyes softened from her stern expression and she cooed at my actions. She held out her pinky and interlocked them, "Okay but if you have trouble sleeping tonight, no more horror movies."

I excitedly bounced in her lap. She shushed me and told me to settle down, which I did reluctantly when she threatened the pacifier to "help me calm down".

As we watched the movie I leaned deeper and deeper into Cat's touch. Her soft fingers instinctively scratched my back. This sensation always made me feel drowsy, but not in a way I wanted her to ever stop. At first I hated it, hated her touch, but now if she ever stopped I would ask for her touch. Luckily though, she is constantly comforting me, even when I don't need it.

Cat made the movie so much less enjoyable because she constantly was covering my eyes at the graphic scenes (aka the whole movie). It angered me, but I didn't care I supposed. I could have been at a party getting drunk as fuck, but I choose this.

As the end of the movie approached I felt myself falling in and out of consciousness.

"Hey monkey you're falling asleep, but let's get some food in that little tummy of yours." Cat said as she lifted us up from the couch. She grabbed a pacifier from the kitchen and placed it near my lips.

I closed my mouth along with my eyes, "Honey open up so you can take a quick nap while I make dinner."

I whined and opened it reluctantly while still keeping my eyes shut. Cat tried to place me down in the nursery but I was feeling oddly clingy and wanted nothing more than to stay in her arms.

"Is my baby being clingy today?" Cat asked rhetorically, "I suppose you can cook dinner with me then." I smiled even in my dreary state and pushed my face in the crook of Cat's neck engulfing myself in darkness.

The warmth of Cat's embrace and the rhythmic rocking of her steps lulled me further into a sleep-soaked daze. The clinking of pots and pans, punctuated by the occasional sizzling sound, drifted through my fog. I felt myself being lowered into Cat's lap.

My eyelids fluttered open to see Cat bent over a plate, a mischievous glint in her eyes. My plate was adorned with two small, round tortillas. They looked like... Halloween tacos? My tired brain struggled to process the concept. One was a vibrant orange, dusted with what looked like black sesame seeds. The other, a deep purple, had green specks sprinkled across its surface. In the center of each sat a dollop of seasoned ground beef,which had been molded into the shape of a tiny jack-o-lantern.

"Trick or treat, sleepyhead," Cat chirped, placing a plastic spoon in my hand.

A tired groan escaped my lips. The idea of food, even playfully presented Halloween tacos, felt like a monumental effort.My stomach churned in protest at the thought of chewing. Cat's smile faltered slightly.

"Maybe just one bite, honey?" she coaxed, picking up the orange taco. "See the cute little pumpkin? He wants to say hello to your tummy."

I mustered a weak smile. Cat's attempts were endearing. With a sigh, I opened my mouth just enough for her to nudge the taco in. The unusual color and texture sent a shiver down my spine. I chewed slowly, the flavor a strange mix of familiar spices and the faint earthiness of the beet juice tortilla. It wasn't bad, it tasted quite good, but the effort of swallowing felt immense.

"See? Not so scary, is it?" Cat said brightly, her smile returning.

I shook my head, unable to muster the energy for a reply. Maybe a tiny bite of the other one, just to appease Cat? But the thought of another strange-colored tortilla was overwhelming.

"Just a little rest, then?" Cat asked, sensing my struggle. "We can save the rest for later, okay?"

I suddenly felt more awake as Cat took me to the nursery rocking chair. I didn't want to sleep because the nap had given me enough energy.

Cat deposited me gently in the rocking chair, the familiar creak a lullaby from countless nights. She hummed a soft tune,pushing the chair back and forth with a practiced rhythm. My eyelids drooped, lulled by the motion and the warmth radiating from her. But sleep remained stubbornly out of reach.

"Hey, Mommy?" I inquired. A lingering conversation was burning my curiosity.

"What, baby?" Cat whispered with concern, coding her tone. I played the mole on her neck. My finger was circling it over and over.

"Am I the only one?" I asked

"Only one of what, monkey? She confusingly asked.

"Your only baby?" My finger stopped circling, awaiting her response.

Cat smiled, almost laughed, "Yes honey, you're the only one. My first baby." She said as she kissed my fingers, all of them, making me giggle. I felt at ease by her response. I would feel a tiny bit jealous if there were others, like Jessica implied.

By the end of the night, I was feeling a sense of contentment I hadn't felt in a long time. Cat held me in her arms, continuing to gently rock me back and forth. "I love you, Erika," she whispered.

"I love you too, Mommy," I replied, the words slipping out before I could stop them.