30. She's my everything

Anika

I decorated the hall, and filled it with black and white ballons which matched our apartment's aesthetic. I made him a cake as well. I wanted everything to be special.

I bought him a few gifts. I bought him flowers, a bracelet which matched with mine, a nice perfume, A watch and a star named as his name. He had a star on his name now!

It was 10:30 and I decided to get ready. I opted a black saree- because he liked me in sarees. I took my time getting ready. I loved today's look. I hadn't done good makeup in so long. It felt good to be back.

It was 11:30 by the time I got ready, and I decided to place the cake on the table and decorate with gifts around it.

I packed the gifts in black paper covers so they also went with the aesthetic and the fairy lights and candles I added.

It was 11:50pm and now, the feeling in my heart is back.

11:30pm turned into 12 and 12 into 1:00am. I sat there on the sofa waiting for him. My calls and texts unanswered as usual.

Jai left his phone outside most of the time so I usually called his assistant. But she didn't pick up my calls as well.

It was 1:30 am when I heard someone knock the door. I opened and found Aarav wearing a displeased expression.

And I turned my face to the person who was beside him. It was my husband, looking like he's drunk even to remember how to walk properly.

"Ani-" Aarav started which I interrupted him.

"Is he drunk?" I asked

"Yeah.."

"He doesn't drink. Like at all Aarav."

"I know. I was at the bar with my colleagues when I saw him."

"Ohh.." I didn't know what to reply. At this point alcohol which he never drank was more important than me.

"I'm sure he didn't mean-" Aarav started, maybe he realised by looking at the décor and my dressing.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Aarav. I've barely seen this man since the past one week and-" I stopped myself barely holding in tears. I swallowed them and said "Let's talk tomorrow okay?"

"Yeah, I'll meet you tomorrow." He replied, handing Jai over to me.

"Aniiii babyyyy" Jai mumbled.

When I didn't reply, he nudged me "You look so beautiful, my eyes hurt."

"Trust me, that not the reason your eyes hurt." I fired back

"Yeah, my heart has butterflies looking at you, you know" he pointed towards his heart. "Touch it and see" he took my hand and placed it above his heart.

"Why are you even drunk, Jai? You don't even drink" I asked him, taking him to our bedroom.

"I lost Ani, I can't do this anymore. I'm such a loser. I can't even protect the people I love" He looks sad.

"What's wrong baby?" I cupped his jaw with my hands asked him after making him sit on the bed. He just shaked his head.

"You can't tell me as well?" I asked him.

"You're going to hate me." Is all he replied. Why would I hate him? Even after everything, I don't hate him.

"Wait until I bring you pj's okay?" I said and he nods.

When I came back – within a minute, he's deep asleep. I moved him and wrapped him an blanket.

I changed my clothes, and got into bed. He immediately bought me closer to him and snuggled against me. He always did this, as if nothing has changed. Or maybe he'd been doing his daily when I'm fast asleep.

"Happy Birthday Jai." I ruffle his hair. He just snuggles closer.

The next morning I woke up to a work emergency. The client had started a fight and I had to go solve it. I tried waking Jai up but it went into vain. So I made him breakfast, wrote a note and left. His presents were on the table in the living room so he'll probably see them.

I went and solved the issue, and realised, few people didn't understand shit. They want everything changed at the last moment just because they had changed their mind. I solve that and return back home.

It was Jai's birthday so Jai's parents and Aarav are coming over. I called Jai to remind him this

"Hey" I said after he answered the call

"Hey Princess"

"What's up?"

"Little busy, why?"

"Just called to ask you that you're coming home by 8pm right? Mom, Dad and Aarav are coming for dinner" I tell him.

"Yeah yeah I'll be there" he says and hangs up.

When I unlock the door and go inside I find the things exactly as they were. The breakfast uneaten, the note unread and the gifts untouched.

And at that moment I realised – The more you give your heart to someone, the more they throw the pieces away.

Everything was fine when he was home yesterday, but then it's back to normal again. Yes, this is the new normal.

Tears spring from my eyes when I think about the last time we had fun. It felt too long ago. From then on I only heard the sound of my heart and trust breaking.

I had no time for this. I had to prepare dinner and arrange the table. Clean the house. I had a lot to do. I completed all the things. I made biryani, roti, curries and starters. Cleaned the house and then got ready. It was 7:45 when I heard the bell ring.

Jai was standing outside. I go and hug him instantly. He comes inside the house hugging me back.

"Happy Birthday" I told him

"Thanks Anika" he told me kissing my cheek.

Then the bell buzzes again and Jai comes beside me. We opened the door and let them in.

Mom is in a beautiful purple saree and Dad was in navy suit. Then comes in Aarav dressed in a shirt and jeans.

"Hello, beautiful." He hugs me tighter than necessary.

All of us settled around the dining table and we served the food.

They asked how was the married life so far and I lie and tell it's been good. Jai is either a very good actor or he really feels that the marriage is good. He surely didn't consider my point of view if it is the later.

"So mom, when is your next exhibition?" I asked. She is a painter and she had sold all of her paintings in the last exhibition. She was very talented, I say!

"Ohh, not now. I have to start painting again. I took a small break after the last exhibition." She replied smiling.

"So how did the concert go?" she asked me. "You were so excited to go. You've been eating my ear out since that singer released the date." She continued.

"Umm... I didn't go" I spilled.

"Why? You were so excited about that" Aarav asked, his sole concentration on me.

I look at Jai and I could see the guilt in his eyes. He forgot about it and these people reminded about him now.

"Jai was busy and I lost interest in that anyway" I shrug and give a fake smile. I hope nobody senses that.

"Oh okay, it happens you know" said Dad. My throat is tight and I cannot answer any questions right now. So I just nodded.

"So what's special birthday boy. What did you guys do? Did you celebrate?" Dad asked

"I made a cake and decorated the place as you can see, bought a few gifts." I said

"Yeah it was good" jai answered and I refused to look at him. Instead I looked at Aarav, and when I saw his expression it took all of my will power to not let the tears loose now.

"Excuse me" I excused myself from the table.

I needed air. I need to cool the fuck down. What was wrong with me? I was completely losing it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jai

I fucked up. Totally, royally, in every possible way.

I barely talked to Anika in the past few days. I didn't realize how badly I was hurting her until today. She couldn't even look at me.

She told me about the concert so many times, and I forgot about it. I didn't come home last night even when she asked me to come home; I went to the pub and came home drunk. It isn't only about these; all these days, I didn't make a single call asking how she was and what she was doing.

In short, I fucked up big time.

Yes, I had a goal to accomplish, and I had a lot more planning to do. I had been so occupied with that, and I forgot I had a life of my own. A wife who was waiting for me every day.

"I'll go check on her," Mom said and got up. Anika looked like she was on the verge of crying when she left the table.

"Is everything alright, Jai?" Dad asked me.

"Yeah, Dad, it's alright," I replied.

"Bullshit," Aarav said, standing up.

"I'm not going to let this slide, Jai. You might have been busy with work all these days, but at least stop treating her like she doesn't mean anything to you. She is your wife, Jai. You should have seen her face when I dropped you off so drunk at home yesterday. She planned a party for you, and you couldn't make it to that as well," he said to my face harshly. Aarav never shouted at anybody.

"She might still be with you, but she's closing off. She's not talking to me nor Nisha, so you better get your shit together and treat her the way she deserves. And thank you for teaching me how to 'not' treat my girlfriend," he stormed out.

The guilt became so much more intense now. What did I do? I didn't want to see her this. Never at all.

"Jai, can I give you some advice?" Dad asked me.

"Sure, Dad," I said, my throat tight.

"Work and the position give you happiness only temporarily. If you want to be happy forever, it is either from your family or your friends. Prioritizing work before them will never take you anywhere, remember that. I might not have taken the company to the first position, but I have always put my family first," he said.

Dad didn't know about my goal. He only thought it was about taking the company to greater heights.

His advice clicked something in me. Mom was never sad. I never saw her sad when she was with Dad. Yes, they did fight, but they solved it together too. I didn't treat Anika the way Dad treated Mom.

Would she forgive me? I really hoped so.

"Let's leave," Mom said right after she came back.

"Sure," Dad replied. They did talk about something in there. We bid goodbyes, and they left.

I was scared to go and talk to her now. When I knocked on the door, she opened the door, but she was changed into her sweats already. She wore my favorite saree, and I didn't even compliment her properly. What had I become?

"Going to say something?" she asked. "Or else, I'm going to bed," she added.

"I'm sorry, Anika, I truly am." And when she asked for the reason, I stood there without any words.

If she wanted to understand, she needed the backstory I couldn't provide. I needed to talk to Aarav ASAP. It had been too long since we had a chat about this topic.

"As expected," she replied and went to the bed, took her pillow and blanket, and started going outside the room.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked her. She wasn't sleeping with me? What the hell?

"I'm sleeping in the guest room," she said.

"The hell you are." I took the stuff from her hand.

"Please, Jai, not today, okay? I am in no mood to fight." She said with the level of desperation that I agreed. I placed the pillow and blanket on the guest room bed and closed the door while coming back.

I dressed into night clothes and went to the living room and saw the décor properly. The amount of effort she put in. She even baked a cake for me, damn it. She bought me flowers, and if I weren't feeling this guilty right now, I would have enjoyed the moment. There were a few gifts on the table, and I opened them one by one.

The first one was a watch. It was so classy and something that I'd love to wear daily. The second one was a bracelet that matched one Anika had. I loved the idea of this. The third one was a perfume, I loved the smell of it. The fourth one was a little big compared to the others.

I opened it and saw a big astrological star sign. Under that, it mentioned that a particular star had been named as Jai Singhania. What??? She named a star after my name? She gifted me a star.

I went towards the guest room and heard her sobs. I could say she was trying to control them, but I could hear them anyway. Her sobs broke my heart.

I wanted to go, say all the things that will make things better. But she won't let me step closer to her.

She wasn't going to forgive me just because I told her sorry. I needed to make her feel like she was worth everything to me. Because she is. She is everything to me.

And I couldn't sleep without her. I needed her in my arms for me to close my eyes and not think about anything else. I just needed her.

I took my pillow and blanket. When her sobs reduced, I slipped into the room and lay beside her. I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her closer without waking her up.

"I'm sorry for everything, princess. I promise to make everything alright. I hope you never shed another tear for me. I won't let anyone make you cry, never again. I'm going to try from tomorrow." I whispered to her.

She fell asleep already, but the moment she threw her arms around my torso, I felt my heart skipping a beat. I snuggled in closer and drifted to sleep with her in my arms.

I want to stay like this forever.

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❀₊˚⊹♡

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