Nightmares and Lullabies

“DMITRI!”

My own scream scares me out of slumber. Heart pounding, breathing ragged. Where am I? What happened? My terrified eyes drink in the darkness of my room with a heady mixture of relief and confusion as remnants of my nightmare flit through my mind on spectral wings.

Wedding bells…a wild-eyed gunman…a bang, a flash…bloodstained smile…bloodstained tuxedo…broken necklaces…dark purple clouds…old man, vulture’s leer….

“Aerys?” Dmitri’s concerned, sleep-heavy voice calls from my doorway. Alive. He’s here. Alive.

“Aerys, are you all right?” Kyla asks, pushing past my fiancé to come to my bedside. “I could hear you screaming downstairs, sister. Where are your staff? What’s the matter?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb anyone. It was just a nightmare,” I reply slowly, my eyes darting back and forth between Kyla and Dmitri. Kyla’s right; Malina and Juniper should be here, too, if I screamed so loud, but they’re nowhere to be seen. “Dmitri.... Are you all right?” Although I know that the fragments that still circulate in my head are merely bits of a horrific dream, I can’t shake the feeling that he’s in serious danger. He comes to my bedside to stand beside Kyla, although this is expressly against The Etiquette. Worry is deeply etched in his handsome features. Kyla moves a little bit away as I reach up to touch his face and assure myself that he’s still there.

“I’m fine,” he answers softly, “or would be if I wasn’t so concerned about you. What did you see, Aerys?”

He’s so curious that he’s not reacting as he normally would to me initiating physical contact between us. I should probably find a way to answer him.

“I only remember snippets. Nothing concrete. Just this feeling that you are somehow in danger.” The bells, the tuxedo.... “And something bad might happen at our wedding. Or might have in my dream.”

His frown deepens.

“I thought you were glad the wedding is so soon. Why so anxious?”

“Given what I can do, sometimes...maybe this is a warning of some sort. Because I meant what I said on the roof.” I look him straight in the eyes when I say this, and the flames in his actually glow somewhat at this last remark, turning the darkness of the room from scary to sultry.

“What do you mean, what you can do, sometimes?” Kyla demands, breaking the moment and reminding us that she is, in fact, still in the room and still concerned about my general well-being.

“I see things, sometimes, in water,” I admit, turning my attention to her. “Before, it’s only been things happening at more or less the same time, just in a place where I was not. Whatever I wanted to see most at the time. It’s never been anything like this. But the things I saw.... I don’t think pre-wedding anxiety usually involves dreams of gunshots or murderers.”

Both she and Dmitri seem fairly alarmed at that revelation.

“Maybe you just haven’t been getting enough sleep,” Dmitri suggests. “With all the training you’ve been doing, and the worries about your grandmother.... The stress might finally be getting to you.”

Somehow, this makes a lot of sense to me. It won’t keep me from spending time later, at a decent hour, trying to remember everything I can from this nightmare and using the information to prepare for the wedding and whatever might befall us there, but he’s right. It could just be a buildup of all the stress and lack of sleep. I might just be paranoid. I’m not sure anyone could blame me, under the circumstances.

“Yes, that must be it. It makes so much sense,” Kyla agrees. “Which means you should go back to sleep. Do you remember when we were younger, and we would sing lullabies for our baby siblings?”

I smile fondly at the memory. It was one of the few things Kyla and I did together of which our--her--mother approved.

“Yes, I remember.”

“I’ll sing for you tonight. Dmitri, you should probably go. As I recall, you’re not supposed to be in here, and you get her all to yourself night after tomorrow night and every night thereafter.”

Dmitri rolls his eyes.

“But I was looking forward to the concert,” he whines as a joke before turning serious and returning his eyes to mine. “And I want to stay and help you sleep.”

“Let’s not risk another blow-up with your father. I’d like you to stay, too, but it’s not the best decision, and Kyla’s right. In two nights....”

In two nights. That seems so unreal.

“But--”

“No buts. Goodbye now!” Kyla chirps before glibly pushing him out the door. I can’t help grinning, though I do feel a bit bad for Dmitri. This is the Kyla I remember. The banquet must have done her a great deal of good. Once Dmitri has gone, we sit together in silence for a few moments. It’s good to feel close to her again.

“He’s lovely. He really cares about you. I’m glad,” Kyla tells me simply. “Seeing the two of you together.... I am glad that our grandparents got your match, at least, right.”

“I’m blessed to have him. And you. I’ve missed you, this you, so much,” I reply, my voice overflowing with emotion.

“If it weren’t for the banquet and ball tonight, or something like it, we might have lost this me forever.” Her voice is quiet and reflective, and not a little sad. “I owe you so much.”

“You owe me nothing. I had to do what I could for you. Any less would be a grave disservice, or even a betrayal. Anyway, I couldn’t have done it without help. There are others more deserving of your gratitude.”

“Whoever is responsible for arranging for me to meet Fernando during the festivities is most deserving.” Despite the darkness, I detect a blush on her cheeks.

“A human, I hope? One of your satyrs?”

“Yes to both, and really the most charming young man. We talked for a while, and danced a few times throughout the night. If I were free....”

My mind is made up. One way or another, I will get rid of her necklace before she leaves this place. She will be free to make her own choice as to how she spends the rest of her life.

“There is time yet for that. You should see him tomorrow, after we both get some more rest. After that, who knows? Is it not said that your God works in mysterious ways?”

“Aye, but it is also my understanding that He does not approve of divorce or of adultery.” Some of the pain and misery that has been characteristic of her from the day of her marriage until tonight return to her voice and it breaks my heart.

“I think, in your case, an annulment might be acceptable to Him, since you never gave consent to this union and you have endured much abuse in it.”

“Perhaps. I will inquire of Him tomorrow. For now, I promised you a lullaby. Which one would you hear, sister?” There is only one choice, tonight: our favourite lullaby, the one we loved to harmonize together. Of all my siblings, she is the only one with musical talent that approaches mine.

“Fear A Bhàta, if you remember it.”

“How could I forget?” I can tell that she is smiling, and that this song means as much to her as it does to me.

She begins softly, singing the Gaelic words with more feeling than usual. It’s not long before I have to join her, just as softly, and our voices glide together through the old harmonies, taking us back to the days when we did not worry about wickedness or intrigue or arranged marriages or any marriages at all.

The sleep I slip into shortly thereafter is the sweetest I have ever had, sweetened by the knowledge that my sister has been restored to me and that therefore anything is possible. Whatever threat my nightmare foretold, if indeed it foretold anything, can be conquered as long as I am surrounded by the people I love.