Twenty - One

Everyone has a few secrets of their own. Elijah was no exception. He had a small box tucked away in the back of his mind to the point he almost forgot about those secrets. But he couldn't -- no mattered how hard he tried he couldn't forget them. He'd let it slip maybe once or twice but it would always come back to  haunt him. Like the a nightmare waiting for him to close his eyes and succumb to the terrors it bought.

Simple things that made him remember them. The reason why his mother was away travelling the world, the reason he left the comfort of his home to settle for an apartment. Those very reasons reminded him of the things he wanted to forget. What would you do if that box was pryed opened by force? Opened by someone who had no right to? Force out all the emotions you didn't want to express? And worst of all opened it in front of the one person you didn't want to know?.

Elijah felt vulnerable, his walls completely shattered and his emotions entangling each other. He wanted to feel the constant feeling of love he felt over the last weeks. The only feeling he wanted to feel, he loved it. How it made him see things he's never had before, wonder into welcoming territories like a paradise sitting before him. Now, he didn't know what he felt-- anger, sorrow or regret. He feared what Scott would think of  Mikey's words. That he would loose him if he dared to look in his eyes and see how disgusted he was by him.

Elijah had to hold himself together, he couldn't break all over again. He found the courage he needed. He had the person he longed for. Elijah promised himself that whatever Scott's answer was he was okay with it. He would have those memories, the unforgettable times they spent together. He would cherish them -- cherish the fragile memories that could break at any point and wonder from his memory. But as he stood in the silence, he felt that everything was lost already.

Elijah wanted to cry, curl up in a blanket and cry away all the unsettling feeling. He wanted to smile brightly as he used to, have cheerful conversations with Scott like they usual do. But he couldn't. Even the brightest days experience rain.

"Elijah" Scott said, his voice was sooting, like a calm passing wind. Elijah chewed hard on his bottom lip, holding back his whirlpool of emotions. "Are you okay?" He reached out to touch Elijah's hand but he was too overwhelmed that he avoided the touch.

He didn't mean to, he wanted to hold onto Scott's hand like he usual did. Intertwine them and feel the pulsing heat between them. He didn't want to see the dejected look on Scott's face, and knowing he was the cause hurt more. Elijah was afraid to approach and even more afraid to retreat. Why did things have to end up like this? Elijah buried his face in his hands, as if he could hide back what was already in the open.

"Can we leave?" He muffled in his hands, dragging them along his face and through his hair. Already getting up before Scott could reply.

Scott followed slowly behind him as they exited pops. The place that officially kick started everything and might even end something that's becoming something so beautiful. Elijah's feet felt heavy, each step harder than the next or was it just his heart, already preparing the bandages to slap onto the broken pieces.

"I'll drive" Scott said, holding his hand out for Elijah's car key.

"I'm fine, I'll drive" Elijah said in low voice almost inaudible. He knew how Scott got when it came to cars. He wasn't going to make because of his own reasons Scott would put himself through something like that.

Scott stepped in front of him, his hands still outstretched waiting for the car keys. "I know I'm not the best when it comes to cars but I want to do this"

Could Elijah refuse those eyes that cared for him. Those eyes he's stared into countless tines and lost himself because they were so beautiful. He didn't know for how much longer they stood on the side of the road or when it started to rain. But when Elijah handed over the car keys and his tears were mixed with droplets of rain that streamed down his face. He was glad it rained, for this once he'll allow himself to fall after so long.

**

The ride back to Elijah's apartment was a slow one. Not only because Scott was driving slow, but because everything in the world looked to be putting to a stop. It wasn't only slow but silent and it was killing Elijah even more and he was sure it was killing Scott too. After fumbling with his keys the door finally opened. The droplets splattering on the floor as they allowed themselves in. Elijah noticed how Scott roamed his apartment, heading for his bathroom after a few minutes. Elijah wondered to his bedroom, not caring how soaked his body was as he sat on his bed. What would happen now? They would talk, talk about a lot of things. Their feelings and even Mikey's words. The very words Elijah wanted to stuff back down his throat but he couldn't there was no point in being violent again. It never solved anything.

Scott returned with multiple towels, throwing one over Elijah's hair as he started to dry his hair. "Why?" Elijah muttered, his head hanging low as Scott continued to dry his hair.

"Do I need a reason to dry someone's hair" Scott replied. "You should change out of those clothes"

"Scott" Elijah said weakly, finally looking up at him. "What Mikey said...." He couldn't bring himself to finish.

"You should take these off" Scott pulled the glasses off his face, placing them on his bedside table. "I'll get you a change of clothes"

"Scott" Elijah said more desperately this time. He wanted to deal with now, for Scott to listen to him.

"I know" Scott said, standing before Elijah's closet. His head leaned against it as he bit his bottom lip. "I know what it's like" after all he was once broken and unfixable; or so he thought.

Scott grabbed a pair of shirts and sweats for the both of them. Elijah changed without a fuss and even blushed a little when he saw Scott in his clothing. Like he was engulfed by him. The rain was still pouring outside, the pitter patter of rain drops on the window was the only thing that could be heard. Elijah sat crossed legs on the couch, Scott beside him with a towel still hanging over his head. Freshly made cup of hot chocolates on the table that was bound to go cold. They didn't know where to start. Scott had so much he wanted to say but he was speechless. Elijah wanted to explain himself but he couldn't find his voice.

"I've thought about it" Scott finally said, taking up his cup of hot chocolate. "For a really long time"

"Scott it isn't what it sounds like" Elijah said quickly, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"It's exactly what it sounds like Elijah. There's no mistaking it" Scott took a sip from his cup, wincing at how hot it still was. "You told me you loved me that day"

"No I --" Elijah spun to look at Scott, stopping when he realized what he said. "Oh" was all he could say. Scott settled back his mug on the table, chuckling when he realized they weren't on the same page. "Yeah I did. I did say that" Elijah scratched the back of his neck nervously, his cheeks flush.

"As I said before, I've been thinking about it and--"

"Wait" Elijah interrupted him, averting his gaze. "Before that, what Mikey said at pops about me...." Elijah couldn't say the word.

Scott scooted closer to Elijah, taking his hand in his much like they always did. He intertwined them and looked at their combines hands. "I know" Scott admitted. "I heard something similar from Mason" he squeezed Elijah's hand a bit.

Elijah bit hard into his bottom lip, tasting the metallic taste of blood. Mason Forest wasn't his favourite person, not after that. He didn't hated him, he bought about memories that Elijah didn't want to remember. Memories that made his heartache.

"I didn't stalk you, I just wanted to see you and hoped that maybe one day you would.....actually notice me" Elijah lowered his head further if possible.

Scott had thought about it since Mason mentioned it before. That a guy like Elijah was always be near but he never once noticed him. His friends had noticed him and even Mason who he had barely hung out with. But him, never once did he get a glimpse of the blue eyed boy with glasses or was it that he never wanted to. In that moment he wondered how Elijah must have felt. All these years and he still didn't give up on Scott. Elijah didn't believe when they said most highschool love last forever. His was only a crush. A crush that would never become anything. Yet, here he was a few years later making the impossible-- possible.

"I'm not mad" Scott lifted his chin, looking in to Elijah's saddened blue eyes. "If anything I'm sorry for not noticing" but it was okay now because Elijah had all he could ever ask for. The love of the one person he yearned for all these years.

"I must've looked like a creep to them" Elijah forced a chuckle.

"If I said that you weren't a creep but cute would you stop worrying" Scott said, smiling at Elijah. There were no words he could form, completely speechless. There was nothing for him to worry over in the beginning. His emotions clouded his judgement, bought him to a dark place but Scott pulled him from the depths before he sunk any further.

"Then..." Scott added when Elijah didn't say anything. He pressed his lips against Elijah's in an innocent manner.

Elijah could tell he was nervous from the trembling of his lips against his. He found it cute how shy Scott could be. Kissing him was something he would never get use to and he didn't want it to. Each felt like the first, passionate and innocent, bringing them to a world by themselves where nothing mattered but their love for each other.

"Will my answer do" Scott said nervously. Elijah knew what the kiss meant. He knew he had accepted him, accepted the love he had for years. For the first time he didn't have to close the box, he was allowed to let it flow freely to the point he almost cried.

"Thank you" Scott said, resting a hand on Elijah's who was still cupping his cheeks. "For allowing me to love again. I didn't think I would be after--" Scott fluttered his eyes opened to look at Elijah. He was indeed curious but Scott knew he wouldn't ask the questions.

"Why don't you ever ask me anything?"

Elijah brushed a strand of Scott's hair to the side, "Because I want for you to tell me when you're ready"

"My ex boyfriend he--"

"Scott you don't have to"

"I want to" Scott rested his head in Elijah's chest, feeling his hands caressing his head. "I loved him" the words stunk Elijah, like a dagger piercing him in the heart. But it was him Scott loves now and he was going to love Scott until his last breath, cherish him like the precious gem he is.

"But he did some horrible things. He cheated on me and when I wanted to break up with him, he--" Elijah pulled Scott into his arms. If only he was much more confident back then to chase his love would Scott have escaped such a faith?. "He did something horrible to me" the words felt sharp coming from his mouth. It was the first he's talked about the accident. "He said that I wasn't allowed to leave him"

Elijah felt like someone pulled his heart from his chest, brutally beat it then placed it back. For the person he loves to go through something like that he...words couldn't describe how he felt.

He eased Scott from his hold, wiping away the tears from his cheeks. As long as Scott was with him he wasn't going to allow his tears to fall every again. "I'll never hurt you. I'll always protect and love you." He pecked Scott on his lips.

"I feel like I'm seeing a familiar scene all over again" Carly said, smiling as she leaned on the door frame. "I'll just come back later. Continue" she waved them off, giving Elijah a look that said they needed to talk.

Scott chuckled, burying himself into Elijah's hold. They were happy and nothing could break that or the bond of their new love.