31 | in which he takes her wherever she wants

In a world of misdirection,

You are my one way.

.\.|./.

Ryan Falls

| in which he takes her wherever she wants |

Crystal doesn't want to go home, and that settles it -- she isn't going home.

Selling my bike and renting out my house need time, time I don't have. I call Ted, text Olivia, and buy a car with my savings, leaving my possessions behind.

"You really love her, don't you?" Ted asks me with a knowing smile.

I don't answer, not wanting to go into the debate that I know would lead nowhere. The truth is that this isn't just about love. It's more about compassion and understanding. I know what it feels like to be lost and trapped, wishing there was someone who would take me away from everything I didn't have the guts to escape. It took me eleven years to muster up the courage it took to break the cycle of abuse. It took me eleven years to save myself.

But no matter how hard it may be, I cannot allow that to happen to Crystal. I know what it feels like to be alone, and I can't let Crystal feel like that.

If moving out of Alaska and somewhere unlike her life here is what it takes, then be it.

I'm willing to do it.

Showing up at the hospital with my new car, I have the entire plan drawn out. And Crystal? She reacts exactly as I had expected her to.

"Ryan, what is this?" she asks, her beautiful blue eyes wide.

One of them still has a darker shadow around it, a leftover bruise. I try not to react to it, struggling to ignore how injured she still is. It was harder than I had thought it would be, seeing Crystal broken and bruised at the hands of the man she loved. It was hard not to track him down and tear him to bits and feed him to dogs.

I had wanted to. I had tried to.

The man vanished in a puff of smoke, a transitory illusion, leaving behind no trace, no link, and no hope.

"Do you like road trips?" I ask her, watching her expression closely.

Crystal shrugs. "I've never been on one."

I smile. "Even better," I say, reaching out and taking her hand.

It's nice to see her out of the hospital scrubs again, and back into her own clothes. I hadn't taken any of her belongings from her home, buying new clothes and shoes for her instead. I didn't want anything to remind her of Jeremy. She was starting a new life, and she had to do that clean.

Like I did.

"Ryan?" She holds me back when I try to lead her towards the car. There's a questioning look on her face, guilt flashing in her eyes.

"Come on, Crystal," I whine childishly, hoping to cheer her up. I haven't seen her genuine smile in so many days, and I miss her snort-laughter. I would tickle her silly to hear it if I wasn't afraid of accidentally hurting her in the process. But letting her be serious and cautious now isn't an option.

"Where are we going to go?" she asks, uncertainty clouding her gaze.

I shift on my feet so that we're face to face, and take both her hands in mine.

"Wherever you want to go," I say, staring into her blue-green eyes. "We can go to the farthest corner of the Earth or up into the clouds. We can go chase the Sahara camels or wrestle polar bears. Who's to say we can't?"

She smiles, rolling her eyes.

"You name it, Crystal," I insist, wanting her to know I mean what I'm saying. "Just say the name and we go. No questions asked."

I'll take her to any place she wants to go, even if it means losing myself in the process. I just want to see Crystal like she used to be before Jeremy broke her. I want to see the Crystal I saw when I was stuffing my mouth with cookies or winding my bike through the traffic without a helmet. I want to see the Crystal who showed up at my doorstep and dared me to kiss her. The Crystal I only saw in glimpses and flashes, but fell madly in love with.

She doesn't answer for a while, staring around the bustling hospital parking lot. I don't push her, though, knowing she's thinking.

She's cute when she's thinking.

"Maybe somewhere different?" she says without looking at me. "Somewhere completely different from Alaska. Somewhere like ... LA?"

She looks my way and I force a smile.

Force ... because that's the last place I want to go.

"Why LA?" I ask, hoping she'll say she doesn't mean LA per se but rather anywhere far away.

"Well ..." She hesitates, a smile lighting up her face. "You know when I was young, my brother would tell me these stories about LA. We'd watch TV shows and movies about singers and dancers and actors who could do anything they wanted in LA. The big city that never sleeps, the rush and thrill of being free and just ... I don't know."

She laughs self-consciously and I reach out and take her hand.

"That was just movies, Crystal," I say solemnly. "Real life isn't as perfect."

"I know," she says, suddenly serious. "But I just ... I don't know. I don't think I can handle Alaska anymore. You know, LA is different. It's big and busy and ... not cold or chilly like Alaska. I don't have any memories there. It's a fresh start. Besides, it's easy being a part of the crowd there. I could be anyone and nobody will know."

"What about your college?" I remind Crystal, my heart beating fast.

She shrugs. "It's not that I really like going to class. I hate it, to be honest. Besides ... Jeremy knows where it is. He could ..."

Her voice fades away but I know what she was about to say. It's understandable, her fear of being found by him. She doesn't say it or show it, but of course, she's afraid. Anyone would be. Even I am.

I don't think I have it in me to let Crystal go back to her house. Not only does Jeremy know where she lives but the place must also hold so many terrible memories for her. I was the place she was tortured in for so many years. Who knows how hard it is for her to return to it?

I do. It's almost as hard as it is for me to go back to LA.

Crystal doesn't know that, though. She doesn't know that she has gone through much less pain in Alaska than I have in LA. It's no comparison, I know. Pain is pain, no matter how big or small. Nonetheless, I know I'm not strong enough to face that past of mine again.

But I'm not strong enough to let Crystal get hurt again either.

She's right. No matter how far Jeremy goes, he can always come back. Her house, her college, the entire state of Alaska, it must be a minefield for her. A constant fear of being found again. Of being hurt again. I can't make her live through it. I can't live through it.

"We don't have to stay in LA," Crystal adds, probably wondering why I'm hesitating. Every time she suggests something, I'm always up for it. This time, though, I'm not so sure it's a good idea. "We'll just stay there for a while and then ..."

I don't answer.

My mind yells at me to refuse, to tell Crystal we can go anywhere but LA. Anywhere but the place it took me eleven years to escape from. Anywhere but the place that I ran to Alaska from. How ironic, that I ran from LA to Alaska, only to fall in love with a girl who wanted to run from Alaska to LA. But maybe that's life. It always comes full circle.

"Is that okay?" Crystal asks when I don't answer.

I nod without a beat, not wanting to appear like a hypocrite. Just two minutes ago I told her that I'll take her wherever she wants to go. Saying that the only place she named is out of the question isn't the best way to go about this.

Besides ... I meant it when I said I would go anywhere for her ... even if I lose myself on the way.

I suppress a sigh. "LA, it is."

.\.|./.

A/N: I'm sorry for the shorter chapter, guys, but this is where it seemed fit to end. I'll try uploading two chapters in the next couple of days to make it up to you.

Views about Ryan? Traveling to LA -- good idea or bad?