𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘦𝘴 9

Chapter 9:

Mom Guilt & Finding Themselves Again

Reese wasn't sure who she was anymore.

Not in a bad way. She loved being a mom. She loved Hazel more than she ever thought it was possible to love another human. But somewhere in the chaos of sleepless nights, baby giggles, and diaper changes—she had lost herself.

She used to be so much. She was creative, driven, ambitious. She had hobbies, projects, dreams. Now? Now, she was just Hazel's mom.

And maybe that should have been enough. Maybe it would be for some people.

But it wasn't for Reese.

And she felt so fucking guilty about it.

Taylor noticed before Reese even said anything.

She always did.

Reese wasn't her usual self—she wasn't singing in the kitchen, she wasn't laughing as much. And every time Taylor asked what was wrong, she just shrugged.

So Taylor waited.

Waited until Reese was curled up in bed beside her one night, staring at the ceiling instead of falling asleep.

Taylor turned on her side, propping herself up. "Okay," she whispered. "Tell me what's wrong."

Reese sighed, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes. "It's stupid."

Taylor frowned. "Hey. No it's not."

Reese stayed quiet for a moment. Then, finally, she whispered—

"I don't know who I am anymore."

Taylor's heart clenched.

Because fuck. She hadn't realized how deep this was.

She reached out, running her fingers through Reese's hair. "What do you mean, baby?"

Reese swallowed hard. "I love Hazel. I love being a mom. But I used to have other things, you know? I used to feel like... me."

Taylor nodded softly. "And now you don't?"

Reese closed her eyes. "No."

Taylor exhaled, pulling her close. "Baby..."

Reese turned into her, burying her face against Taylor's neck. "I feel awful even saying it."

Taylor pressed a soft kiss to Reese's forehead. "You shouldn't."

Reese's voice was small. "Why do I feel like I should?"

Taylor sighed, holding her even tighter. "Because the world makes moms feel like they're supposed to only be moms. Like it's selfish to want more. But it's not."

Reese breathed in deep. "I don't even know where to start."

Taylor pulled back just enough to look into Reese's eyes. Blue on blue.

"Well," Taylor whispered, soft but firm, "you don't have to do it alone."

Reese wasn't the only one struggling.

Taylor was too.

She just wasn't saying it out loud.

Because while Reese was feeling lost in motherhood, Taylor was feeling absent.

She had missed things.

She had missed Hazel's first time pulling herself up. Her first time babbling something similar to Mama.

And while Reese reassured her over and over again—

"It's okay, Tay. You're an amazing mom."

—it still fucking hurt.

Taylor had spent her whole life choosing music. And she would never regret it. But now, with Hazel? Every choice felt heavier.

Because what if she was choosing wrong?

Selena, Gracie, and Sabrina figured it out before either of them said anything.

And then they staged an intervention.

Which was how, on a random Friday, Reese and Taylor found themselves kidnapped by their best friends.

Literally.

Reese scowled from the passenger seat as Gracie drove. "I cannot believe you just showed up at our house and took us."

Sabrina, from the backseat, grinned. "Believe it, babe."

Taylor, sitting beside Sabrina, sighed. "Okay, where are we going?"

Selena, casually sipping an iced coffee, said, "A weekend away."

Taylor blinked. "I—what?"

Reese frowned. "Like... without Hazel?"

Sabrina nodded. "Yes. Because you guys need it."

Taylor and Reese exchanged a look.

And then, almost simultaneously—

"We can't."

Selena sighed. "Yes, you can."

Gracie turned, one hand on the wheel. "Your family has Hazel. She's safe. She's fine. And you two need to remember that you're people, not just moms."

Taylor chewed her lip. "I don't know..."

Sabrina groaned. "Jesus, do we have to drug you guys?"

Reese snorted, shaking her head. "Absolutely not."

Gracie grinned. "Then shut up and enjoy the ride."

Taylor sighed. And then, finally—

She leaned into it.

And, for the first time in a long time—

She let herself breathe.

The weekend was exactly what they needed.

It wasn't some wild, party-fueled girls' trip. It was soft. It was slow. It was real.

Mornings were spent drinking coffee by the beach. Afternoons were full of laughter, deep conversations, and ridiculous dares that ended in Taylor trying to do a cartwheel and failing miserably.

And the nights?

The nights were just them.

Reese and Taylor.

Reconnecting.

Rediscovering.

And in the quiet moments, between soft kisses and whispered confessions, they remembered—

This love?

It wasn't just built on Hazel.

It was built on them.

On the last night, as they lay tangled together in their hotel bed, Reese whispered—

"I missed this."

Taylor smiled, brushing her lips over Reese's temple. "Me too, baby."

Reese turned in her arms, pressing closer. "Thank you."

Taylor blinked. "For what?"

"For reminding me that I'm still me."

Taylor's chest tightened. "You'll always be you, Reese."

Reese exhaled. "I just forgot for a while."

Taylor kissed her slowly. "Never again."

And Reese believed her.

Because for the first time in a long time—

She finally felt like herself again.