Spotlight: Chapter 18

Sabrina sits on the balcony across from me as I repot a Monstera plant. I can see Greer through the sliding glass door in the living room. She has the tablet propped up in front of the TV as she video chats with her dad. She’s currently showing him all the new sign language she’s learned, which makes me smile.

“Have you heard from him at all?” Sabrina asks, pulling my attention away from my daughter.

I spent the past hour telling my best friend everything that happened with Flynn.

. From Flynn showing up with bags of food and medicine the night Greer got sick, to that amazing first kiss, followed by an even better second kiss, how I’ve spent the past week dreaming of said kisses, and finally him planning to leave at the end of the season.

“No, and I hate that I’m so disappointed.”

“Then reach out to him.”

“I can’t.” I shake my head as I add a little soil to the pot and then smush it down with my fingers.

“Sure you can. Here, let me help.” She clears her throat and then does a high-pitched voice that I’m pretty sure is supposed to be me. “Hey, Flynn. How are you? I’ve been, like, thinking about you for days. I can’t focus. Food has lost all flavor, and I find myself staring out the window daydreaming of your body. Can you please come over and kiss the crap out of me? Naked.”

My face flushes. I reach into the soil bag and pinch some between my thumb and pointer finger, then fling it at Sabrina.

Her jaw drops. “How dare you.”

“Serves you right. That was a terrible impression of me. And I’m eating just fine. I finished off two cartons of ice cream in the past few days.”

“You’re sort of proving my point for me.”

“Which is?”

“You want to date him or at least kiss him some more.”

“I mean, can you blame me? It was the best kiss of my life. Better than sex.”

Her brows rise. “Better than sex?”

I suddenly realize how pathetic that sounds. “Maybe it’s just been so long I don’t remember.”

“You should look into that.” She grins. “With Flynn.”

I give her my best Mom-stare and she laughs.

“I’m serious. You two obviously have chemistry and you could use some no-strings fun.”

“What, like friends with benefits?” I scrunch up my face. “I tried that once. It wasn’t for me. I was always second-guessing when to text or call. It was the most stressful relationship of my life.”

“Yeah, I’m not great at it either.” She thinks for a moment. “And dating him knowing it might have an expiration is definitely out?”

“What would be the point?”

“Uh…kissing. Kissing is the point.”

“It was a really, really good kiss,” I admit again. It’s just my luck that the one guy that’s made me want to date again is leaving. My life is here in Lake City. My family and friends, the bookstore, Greer’s school and activities. It isn’t like I never thought about living somewhere else when I was younger, but those were dreams of a carefree girl who didn’t really know what she wanted and liked the idea of it more than the reality.

I would miss seeing my family every day, and what would come of the bookstore? For that matter, where would I work? I can’t imagine working anywhere else.

Later when Greer’s in bed, I shower and get into my pajamas. Usually, I stay up watching TV or scrolling on my phone, but all I want to do is climb into bed and fall asleep. My determination to forget about Flynn has resulted in a lot of very tiring days.

I turn off the light and then stare up at the ceiling. My mind spins. Sabrina’s words keep replaying in my mind. Could I keep seeing Flynn knowing he’s going to leave? Would we be dating? Hooking up? Friends with benefits? Cringe.

I glance over at my phone on the charger. I know if I pick it up, I’m going to be awake for another two hours.

“You know what?” I ask myself out loud. “I’ve got this.”

I open the drawer on my nightstand and pull out my vibrator. You wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to find time even for self-love when there’s a six-year-old living in the room next door. I flip it on and it sputters and dies. I try again with the same result.

Of course, the battery would be dead. Okay, universe, I hear you. I toss it back into the drawer and grab my phone instead.

His reply is immediate.

At exactly seven o’clock, Flynn knocks at my apartment door.

“Hi. Come in.” Nervous energy courses through me as I open the door and step back to let him in. My heart flutters at the sight of him. He’s in jeans and a navy T-shirt that makes his brown hair look a tinge redder than normal.

“You look great,” he says. I’m dressed more casually, in leggings and a T-shirt, than any other time we’ve hung out.

“Thank you.”

Greer comes running to the door and hugs Flynn around the legs.

“We’re going cactus jumping!” she shouts.

“Cactus jumping?” Flynn asks her, then glances at me.

I chuckle. “It’s a trampoline park, The Jumping Cactus.”

One side of his mouth pulls into a smile. “A trampoline park, huh? That sounds awesome.”

“It’s Ben’s birthday.”

“Who’s Ben?” he asks her.

“A kid in my class. He has two dads.”

Flynn’s smile lifts higher. “Is that right?”

She nods excitedly.

“Grab your grip socks and Ben’s present,” I tell Greer, and she runs back to her room.

“Her kindergarten class is doing family trees,” I explain her fascination with Ben’s parents. She’s just now figuring out what’s “normal” among her classmates and comparing her situation. “I think she’s jealous he has two when she barely sees her dad.”

“I remember feeling like that,” he says.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. I dreaded all those school events, Donuts with Dad and Muffins with Mom.” He visibly shudders. “Even sporting events were awkward sometimes. People who didn’t know my situation assumed my mom and dad were both alive and in attendance. I hated correcting them, but the strained apologies when I finally had to set them straight were worse.”

“I’m sorry.” I was probably one of those kids who assumed everyone was like me, and before I had Greer, I never thought about how other kids who didn’t have a parent to come along must have felt. “If it makes you feel better, they’ve rebranded. It’s Donuts with Grown-Ups now.”

A real smile spreads across his face. “Nice.”

“It doesn’t stop her from realizing other people see their dad more than she does, but it’s something.”

“She’ll be okay.” He tips his head toward Greer’s room.

“Thanks for that.” It’s an ever-present fear of mine. That she’ll feel less-than or not get the love and attention she needs.

But that’s not something I want to dwell on tonight. Greer comes out with her socks in one hand and Ben’s present in the other.

“You ready for this?” I ask them as I grab my purse and phone.

“Are you kidding? I’ve been dying to go cactus jumping.” His eyes twinkle with amusement.

We take my SUV to the trampoline park. Greer chatters happily the entire ride and Flynn is a good sport, talking with her and answering her every question.

Once we arrive, she spots Ben and other classmates already jumping and takes off to join them in the trampoline area. I lead Flynn toward the party room to drop off Ben’s present and say hi to his dads, who are setting up the room with balloons and cute dump truck themed plates and party favors.

Flynn is gracious, shaking their hands and introducing himself. Especially when one of them, Blake, gives Flynn that side-eye, you-look-familiar look.

“Were you at Donuts with Grown-Ups?” he asks Flynn.

If they knew he was a professional baseball player, they’d be losing their minds right now. It makes me feel like I’m in on an inside joke with Flynn.

I fight a smile as Flynn shakes his head. “No, sadly I missed that.”

“Well, good to meet you,” Blake says.

There are a few other parents arriving with their kids. Flynn greets them all like it’s the most natural thing. He has that easy, likeable way about him that makes me feel less anxious. I’m one of the youngest parents, if not the actual youngest, and sometimes I feel out of place among them. Especially the moms. They all seem so accomplished and put together.

As we mingle with the adults, Flynn reaches over and takes my hand. It’s funny that he’s doing most of the talking when I’m the one that’s been interacting with them since the start of the school year, but I love that I can just be present without feeling like I need to be on.

When the conversations start to die off, we head back out to check on Greer. We flash our wristbands to the teenager at the gate and he lets us into the jumping area.

“This is awesome,” Flynn says.

“You brought me roller skating, so this seemed right up your alley.”

“If I’d known this was here, I might have brought you here instead.”

“Next time,” I say.

“Why not now?” He bends down to take off his shoes and then walks over to a small trampoline that’s currently kid-free.

I watch him as his face lights up more with each bounce. He is such a big kid. I like that about him.

“Come on.” He waves me over with both hands.

I glance over where the other parents are sitting with no intention of participating. Some have their cell phones out, one even brought their laptop.

While I’m deciding, Greer and three of her classmates have spotted Flynn and run over to join him. My daughter’s face is full of the same carefree excitement as my date’s. She bounces in front of him, holding on to his hands. He makes her go higher by jumping opposite of her and she is living for it.

I kick off my shoes and join them. We go from one area of the park to the next. There are small trampolines and bigger ones, a zipline, dodgeball, and basketball hoops. The kids adore Flynn. I think it’s a combination of his height and how playful he is with them. He challenges each one in the jousting area over a foam pit. By the time Ben’s dads call the kids over for cake and ice cream, I’m sweaty and my face hurts from smiling so much.

Flynn and I follow slowly, stopping at a bench inside the park to put our shoes back on.

“I think you’re the hit of the party,” I tell him and mean it.

“This was a blast. I’m so glad you invited me.”

We haven’t talked about the elephant in the room, him eventually leaving town and my hesitancy to get involved, but tonight feels like we’ve taken a step past it.

“I missed you.”

“Same.” He bumps his shoulder against mine and his gaze drops to my mouth.

Butterflies swoop low in my stomach as he leans down and kisses me. It’s not the all-consuming, toe-curling, make-out session style of our first two kisses, but it leaves me lightheaded all the same.

“I’m not sure how good I’m going to be at this,” I confess.

“This?”

“Dating and not thinking about the future.”

“Planning ahead is always a gamble. Nothing goes the way we think it will or want it to.”

“That’s true, I guess.”

“It’s not even a given that I’ll leave for another team. I might be with the Mustangs for the rest of my career.”

I know he doesn’t believe that or if he does, then it’s because he’s feeling like he’s far away from his goals.

“Yes, it is.” I nod. “You are going to do amazing things and every team in the league is going to want you. But for now…”

Instead of finishing that sentence, I lean over and press my lips to his.