Paroxysm

Back into the thick of it.

Hope you all enjoy.

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A knock sounds at her door.

She is sat in the swinging seat by the window, her knees pulled up against her chest.

Defensive.

She's been there since they had brought her up to her room earlier that morning.

We're sorry you think we'd ever let you leave.

The words have been echoing through her mind for hours.

Enid had stopped crying when they left her there.

They had tried to comfort her.

Tried to explain.

She had pushed them away.

"I need space. Please." Her voice had broken.

Dante had stood from where he kneeled beside her.

The expression on his face haunting.

Alexander had tried to plead, tried to get her to understand.

But Theodore had placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

His eyes studying intensely her before he nodded grimly.

They left her alone in her bedroom.

The sound of the door locking behind them deafening.

She had glanced around the room then.

Felt as though she was seeing it for the first time.

The windows without latches, no way of opening them.

A bed big enough for the four of them.

It was a beautiful cage.

She knew she should be making a plan.

Figuring out what to do.

But she was exhausted, tiredness seeping into every fiber of her being.

A numbness slipped over her like a comforting blanket.

Curling up into a ball in the bench swing by the window, she had let herself drift.

Float up, out into the vast darkness.

Slip between the stars.

Safe between the constellations.

She thinks of her father, presses her fingers against the windowpane.

Another knock sounds.

When she twists the handle, she finds she cannot open the door.

A flare of anger burns in her chest and she glares at the brass knob.

Stepping back, she clears her throat.

"Come in."

There is a soft click and then the door is swinging open.

Theodore stands in the doorframe alone.

Enid regards him with a cool distance, her lips pressed into a flat line.

He is dressed in his usual uniform, a tailored suit and neatly combed hair.

There are dark shadows under his eyes that match her own.

He hasn't slept either.

"Good morning." Theodore says, scrutinizing her expression.

She folds her arms across her chest, wishing she had changed out of the thin nightgown.

His eyes darken as she remains silent.

The air in the room pulls tight, like one of the strings on her cello, vibrating.

Enid can see the battle he is having with himself, debating which course of action to follow.

She's still not used to seeing him off balance.

His posture straightens, his mask slipping perfectly into place.

"Your Psychology final is in an hour. I'll be leaving for campus in about thirty minutes." He says, glancing over her wrinkled pajamas.

Right.

Her psychology final.

The break that had been given after Patrick's body was found was through.

And now it was finals week.

She swallows down a delirious laugh.

"I'll meet you downstairs." Her voice is shaky, her throat raw from crying.

A frown stretches across his face.

He steps forward, a hand raised to caress her face.

Enid turns away.

Hurries into the bathroom.

She glances briefly at the mirror, startled at the ghostlike girl staring back at her.

There is no color in her cheeks, no glimmer in her eyes.

Lilac bruises under her eyes from the lack of sleep.

She feels as though she's floating above herself as she gets ready.

Cannot feel the brush running through her hair, cannot taste the toothpaste on her tongue.

No coolness of the water as she washes her face.

She tugs on an oversized sweater.

Stopping before the mirror, she runs a finger over her necklace.

Three golden hearts sitting between her collarbones.

Enid hasn't taken it off since the day Alexander gave it to her.

Fiddling with the clasp, she considers taking it off.

Pain slices through her, like a sharp shard of ice.

She leaves it on.

Grabbing her satchel, she walks down to the foyer.

Voices drift from the direction of the kitchen.

Dante and Alexander.

"Are you hungry?" Theodore steps out from the door of the library, shoving something into his expensive briefcase.

She shakes her head.

Something like disappointment flashes in his eyes, but he nods.

The sunshine outside is blinding, her eyes burning at the sudden brightness.

Theodore opens the car door for her, watching her slip into the passenger seat.

His grip on the steering wheel is tight during the silent ride to the campus.

She studies the rings on his fingers, the gold glinting under the sunlight streaming through the windshield.

He glances at her every so often, worry heavy in his gaze.

As he puts the car into park, she glances at the time on the dashboard.

"I'm going to grab a drink from the café." She says, daring him to tell her no.

His jaw clenches.

Those dark blue eyes search her face, his eyebrows furrowed.

"You're a smart girl, Enid. Brilliant, really. I don't need to tell you that there will be consequences if you attempt to run away." His hand grabs her wrist.

She inhales sharply as he pulls her hand up to his mouth, pressing a kiss to her palm.

Her traitorous heart skips a beat as he presses a kiss to each pad of her fingers.

When he releases her, she clumsily climbs out of the car.

He truly needn't be worried; she had no plans currently.

Every option seemed wrong.

Run away.

Go to the police.

But she couldn't, she loved them.

Loved them so much that the idea of leaving them made her chest ache like it never had before.

But what was the alternative?

Forgive them and stay?

She pushes the thoughts away as she turns the corner on the brick path and comes upon the large field at the center of campus.

There is a group of people gathered there, most dressed in dark, solemn colors.

As she nears them, she recognizes the boy who is speaking to the mass of students and adults.

The red-haired boy from the fraternity video.

The one who had proposed the contest for who could sleep with the most girls.

Live and die by our motto, boys. By whatever means necessary.

"-my best friend. Pat was the brother I always wanted. He always had a funny joke when someone was feeling down and was truly the epitome of what Kappa Sigma stands for. It was an honor to have known him." The boy stepped back from the microphone and hugged the dean who was standing beside him.

There is a smattering of clapping from the crowd.

The line of fraternity brothers to the side all hoot and clap the boy on the back.

Dean Thomas wiped at a tear and took the spot behind the microphone.

"Thank you, James, for that beautiful tribute. I'm going to keep this brief but thank you all for coming out to this ceremony. My son... My son was a perfect boy. Perfect grades, always on his best behavior. He had such a bright future ahead of him. He didn't deserve..." He breaks off, his face cherry red as he chokes back tears.

Enid's insides are twisting.

"Anyways, thank you all. This tree will stand in his memory, forever reminding us of him and of the light he brought to this world. It will grow big and tall just as he did." Dean Thomas blows his nose.

The boys, each wearing a jacket with the Kappa Sigma logo on it, step forward with shovels.

They begin to unearth the dirt, James at the center.

Dean Thomas bends down, planting a tree sapling into the ground.

Enid turns away, pressing a fist against her mouth as her eyes and throat burn.

They're planting a tree for him.

Just like the tree he pressed her against.

She staggers at the memory, the rough bark digging into her back.

His hands everywhere.

Her vision blurs and she catches herself against a lamppost as she begins to sway.

"It's such bullshit, isn't it?" A familiar voice comes from beside her and Enid looks over in confusion.

It's the girl from Dante's class, Sophie, the one who always flirted with him.

"What?" The question falls from her lips.

The girl turns to her, her usual sneer or coy smirk absent from her face.

Instead, she is frowning.

"Boys can be awful their entire lives, but in death they're regarded as perfect angels. No matter what he did, Patrick is viewed as a damn patron saint." Sophie rolls her eyes.

Enid chokes on a surprised laugh.

"You knew him?" She asks, eyes wide.

Sophie lets out a bitter chuckle.

"Dated him my freshman year here. He cheated on me twenty times before I found out." She quips, pulling a pair of sunglasses from her bag and placing them on her slim nose.

Enid stares at her, trying to imagine the two together.

Strangely, it isn't too hard to visualize.

"I'm sorry." Enid says, too shocked to say much else.

Shocked by her words.

Shocked by her sudden realness.

This bitter, sad girl was a stark contrast to the sultry, rude girl she had sat near in Creative Writing all semester.

Enid feels a pang of guilt for judging her before.

It's a good reminder that no one really knows anyone from just a few short interactions.

Sophie waves away her apology.

"I'm over it. Just pisses me off having to watch them parade around like he was some golden boy. But hey, at least we know the truth, right?" She shrugs.

Enid wonders for a moment if she should tell her about the bonfire.

But she isn't ready for that yet.

She reaches out a hesitant hand and squeezes the other girl's arm comfortingly.

"You know the truth. And that's enough." Her words are just as much for herself as they are for Sophie.

Sophie smiles softly and Enid is struck by how pretty she really is.

It's incredible how much emotions can change how someone looks.

"You're cool, Enid. I'm sorry for being a bit of a bitch to you all semester. Guess I just got jealous with all the attention you got from Dr. Romano. And I'm just kind of a bitch in general..." She laughs, her bright white teeth shinning.

Enid grins at her, feeling lighter than she has in days.

"Anyways, I'll see you later today in Romano's class to turn in our articles. So dumb that he won't just let us turn them in online." Sophie rolls her eyes and waves goodbye as she begins to walk away from the ceremony.

The planting of the tree is over now, and people are waiting to shake the dean's hand.

Enid doesn't look back as she walks away.

She has just enough time to get a hot chocolate and sit in her seat before Theodore enters the classroom.

He is the embodiment of power as he walks to the desk, setting down his briefcase.

His ocean eyes find her own and she is struck with a feeling of nostalgia.

It feels like years have passed since the moment she met eyes with him on the first day of class.

Her heart swells, thrumming with love for him.

Her mind fights against it.

She thoughts and emotions at war with each other.

"I'm so going to fail." Comes the voice of one of the girls who sit behind her.

"Hey- intern girl!" Another calls and she feels a poke against her back.

She is too tired for this.

Turning in her seat, Enid cannot find it in herself to smile.

"Hi! Since you're his intern, can you just change my grade to a B when you grade them? I'll pay you." The darker haired one whispers loudly.

She pulls her designer bag up onto the table and begins to dig around for her wallet.

Enid laughs, a genuine giggle slipping from between her lips.

These girls have been so terrible all semester long.

Badgering her about her job with the immortals, being blatantly rude nearly all the time.

The Enid from the beginning of the semester would have felt bad, wanted to help.

But she had learned that she can't be a doormat all the time.

"No." Enid says, no hesitancy in her answer.

She grins as the girls begin to sputter and twists back around in her chair.

Theodore is watching her, a small smile glowing just for her.

Enid looks down, her cheeks burning in embarrassment of what likely the whole class had just observed.

Noticing the students staring at her, Theodore clears his throat and draws their attention to the front of the classroom.

She flies through the exam, knowing every answer immediately.

Between his classes and debating with him at home, she has mastered the material entirely.

Living with your professor certainly has some perks.

When she turns it in, she does not meet his eyes.

"Miss McCarthy." He stops her and she glances up at him.

His expression impossible to fathom.

"It's truly been a pleasure having you in my class."

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What did you think of Enid's interaction with Sophie?

It's so much fun to write these moments that I've been planning since the beginning of the book.

Hope you enjoyed it!

Comments fill my heart with joy.

All my love, Sappho ✥