chapter 66

Sanaya - Try to remember, when you lived with your mom, you would feel that when you get an opportunity to live with your boyfriend, your life will become heaven. But when you are living with your boyfriend now, you are again feeling incomplete and unhappy. Divya - Hmm…Sanaya - It’s the trick of your mind, my baby. It’s the trick of the inner emptiness. It is making you fool and giving you illusions again and again. Trust me, it will not let you live happily until you learn to deal with it properly. You have to find your passion, your interests and you have to act on it. There is no other way to live a happy life. Once you start doing these things then you will not even realize when you start loving Raj again, when you start loving being with him, when you start talking to him, not only him but to everybody. You will start loving each and every thing in your life. You just need to take a step, rest everything will fall into place.I said suspiciously, “I am really suspicious about what you said now. I hope you are telling me the truth.”She smiled very pleasantly and said, “See, Divya, I can’t prove this thing scientifically. But I can tell you one thing. Just do this experiment. Just do what I said and then see the results yourself. If it works for you, then go ahead with my idea. Otherwise, no need to believe me. Just put what I said into the dustbin. I hope it has become easy for you to make a decision now.”I said, not taking her seriously, “Okay, I will try for sure. But I don’t think it’s going to work.”She smiled and slapped friendly on my arm, “First, just do na.”I said, “Okay, I will try.”From the next day onwards, I started finding my passion. I tried to write poems, stories, tried to read books, tried to make videos and reels and tried many more things. After about fifteen days, I realized that I derive maximum bliss from painting. When I would do painting, I would lose track of time. I realized my passion is painting. After coming home from school, I started doing painting in my free time. Sanaya was right. My free time began to pass quickly. Negativity also started decreasing. Along with my studies, I decided to continue my passion. I also used to talk to Sanaya in between. She used to send me the links of good youtube channels, links of good ebooks and even paper books. She also gifted me many good books all this while. Slowly-slowly, I developed an interest in reading good books too. On SundayI was busy with my painting. I was trying to paint a scenery close to nature. I was trying my level best to make it more and more beautiful. I got so absorbed into it that I lost track of time.I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door. Of course, he was Raj. I said, “You came so soon! You said you would reach home by six p.m.”He smiled and said, “It’s 6 p..m.”Divya - What! You must be kidding me. Just now, I checked the time. It was 1 p.m.Raj - Haha! I guess now you are kidding with me. Just check the time. I checked the time and was wonderstruck to see that he was right. The time was really 6 p.m.!I exclaimed in surprise, “Oh my gosh! I didn’t even realize when five hours passed!”I thought, “Sanaya was right. She told me once I find my passion, I will lose the track of time, then I will not get any time for boredom. Nowadays, I don’t feel bored. I don’t even realize if Raj is present or absent in the house.”“My life has improved a lot in the last about two months. Now, I feel as if my life is becoming interesting. Sanaya was right in everything she said. Hey but wait wait… There is a big point that you missed.”“In this new house, now I am feeling happy even without Raj! Raj was not there in the house but still I was enjoying painting. When I was with Raj alone, my life had become hell like. Of course, it was not because of Raj. Now, my life is becoming like heaven again and again not because of Raj but because of my passion.”“Does it mean I don’t need Raj to be happy? Oh my God, it’s true! I don’t need Raj to be with me to stay happy. I need just my passion to stay happy. In all my life I kept on thinking that I need a partner to become happy, I need my soulmate, my boyfriend to become happy. But when I got it, now I realized that one can’t become happy by getting a boyfriend!”“To become happy in the real sense of the term, one doesn’t need a boyfriend or a girlfriend but a passion. It’s really very strange. I have never thought like that before. It’s an eye opening thing for me! Life is really strange. What we think is not reality. What reality is that we can never think of. Anything can happen in life. Nothing can be predicted. I guess the best way to live a life is to accept uncertainties.”“So many incidents have happened in my life. First with Nikhil, then Vicky, then Sahil, then Nikhil again and then Raj. All incidents were completely unexpected. It means if I think I can predict something about the future, then I am in the wrong. I can never predict what’s going to happen in my life the very next moment. I thought I would stay happy with Raj, being with Raj alone, without doing anything else but I was completely wrong!”Raj said, beaming at me, "Hey, nowadays you look happy! What have you found?"I smiled and said, "I have found something great in my life, which is really very very great."Raj - That's good. Tell me also what you have found.I said bluntly, obviously it must have hurt him, "I have found one reality that I can live happily without you!"At once his face lost colours. I noticed that. But he quickly started acting as if he was okay. He didn't feel like smiling but plastered a smile on his face and said, "That's good. And what's that way?"I grinned and said, "To follow my passion and that's painting."He asked me very innocently, "And what about me?"I smiled and said, "I am going to leave you tomorrow."He was thunderstruck to hear that, "What! But why?"Divya - My mama ji (mom's brother) is okay now. He is no longer suffering from any kind of disease. My mom is coming back here tomorrow. And I have decided that I will live with my mom from tomorrow onwards.He thought, "I knew she would ditch me. I have always seen her upset after our marriage. I tried my level best but all went in vain. I am also not happy after marriage. My responsibilities also increased but I never let my feelings surface and hurt her. But she….In one way, she is also right. She is just telling me the truth. If she is not happy, she is not happy. That's all. But what about me?"I asked her, shocked, "Is it your final decision?"I said in a tone as if it's not a big deal for me, "Yes."He asked me anxiously, "And what about me? Are you going to leave me forever?"I giggled and said, "Hey, never say that! I love you! I can never leave you!"He said puzzled, "But you said right now that you are going to live with your mom from tomorrow onwards."Divya - That's also true. But it doesn't mean I am going to leave you. I will always be your girlfriend.Raj - Girlfriend, not wife? You are confusing me now. Divya - See Raj, I have realized one reality of life. Because we feel incomplete from within, we feel that we need someone to make us feel complete. We start looking for our opposite sex. But when we get him, then we realize that whatever we thought was just an illusion. We can make ourselves complete only by knowing ourselves, only by knowing our passion.Raj - And what about me? What about our marriage?Divya - Raj, we have to break this marriage.He said, shocked, "But?"I said smiling, "Our hearts have already got married, why are you worrying about the social marriage? By this social marriage, we are only going to invite more sufferings. When my mom comes to know about our marriage, she will become mad at me. When your parents come to know about us, they will get mad at both of us. Why should we invite troubles? Just think of the time when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. At that time we were way happier than now." He didn't say anything but kept on listening to me very attentively. Perhaps, every word of mine was shocking him. I said, penetrating into his eyes, "Raj, I can see. You are also not so happy after marriage. I can feel it but I never said."His face became reddish to hear that. His heartbeat increased. He froze for a couple of seconds. All these symptoms confirmed to me that what I said now was absolutely true. I said cheerfully, "Hey, chill man! Don't worry, we will marry again. But this time not like now but at our proper age and with the consent of our parents!"Having said that, I hugged him tightly. He also hugged me. I was all smiles. I looked sneakily at his face. He was all smiles too.(It will be so nice of you, if you leave at least a single word comment and please don't forget to follow me and become my superfan. You will be able to read all the locked parts of all my series for free and you will also be able to chat with me and my superfans directly.)