12 | Under the Radar

"W-WORK...FOR YOU?" I STAMMERED. IN MY head I'd been preparing myself for choosing a preferred method of death, so it took my brain a moment to catch up with reality. "What?"

Alex's face remained serious as he repeated, "work for me."

"I-I'm not a banker," I shook my head, "or anything close to-to whatever it is you do."

"You don't know what I do—"

"I can guess—"

"—and that's how it's going to stay," he finished calmly.

I sat back at last and cocked a brow. Truly, I was confused. It felt like Alex was talking in riddles. "I don't understand," I admitted. "How can I work for you without knowing what it is that you do?"

"Easy," Alexei shrugged, "you keep your eyes and ears shut."

"And if I stumble into something, like at the club...?" I challenged.

"Don't."

"Yeah, because I really intended to walk into a room full of gu—" The rest of my sentence fell away as Alex's hand shot out to cover my mouth. My eyes widened and as he held his skin against mine I caught the familiar musky scent of his aftershave on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Zamolchi," he growled beneath his breath. His dark eyebrows bunched together as he waited for my compliance. I nodded slowly and with one last warning glare Alex removed his hand. "That didn't happen, dai?" Again, I nodded. "You saw nothing."

(Shut up!) (yes?)

"None of this is making me inclined to work for you," I admitted.

"I can see that."

"Hm." I didn't know what else to say. Alex wasn't exactly being forthright with a job description, nor about any aspect of his life. Could I trust him?

"I'm not going to sit here and persuade you," he said coolly. "The decision is yours."

"Are you at least going to tell me what the job is?" Half of me expected him to say no.

"The job, Grace, is to do exactly what you always do." Now I really was confused. I leaned forward and frowned, scouring Alex's face for any sign that this was a joke. He watched me unemotionally.

I looked down at my coffee and admitted again with a blush, "I don't understand."

"Perhaps I should clarify—not what you always do, but more." Yeah, that really cleared everything up. "I'm offering you the job you've always wanted." I scanned back through my memory and vaguely recalled telling Alex how I'd wanted to be a doctor, rather than just a nurse. A surgeon, even.

"That's impossible," I breathed. I shook my head, flinging the thought away. It couldn't be true.

"Legally?" Alex shrugged. "Yes. But I'm not asking you to work at a hospital."

"Then where—?"

"A private location." He pushed his empty coffee cup away and aligned the handle perfectly to the right. "Under the radar, as it were. You may have gathered that my work is...dangerous. Hospitals are not always safe places for me and my men."

I could hear my heart hammering as I whispered, "that's...illegal." I had always known that Alexei was probably involved in some form of unsavoury business, but hearing the revelation from his own lips was a different matter. Hearing the truth of it scared me.

"Yes," Alex said flatly, "as we have established, I am not exactly...straight laced. I'm sure you've gathered this, no?" I nodded. "Of course, the paycheque you'd receive from me would be triple, maybe quadruple what you earn from the hospital."

I chewed on my lip nervously and breathed, "but I'm not even qualified..."

"No matter. You said yourself, you've all the skills necessary for the job." His bright eyes watched me curiously as I took all of this in.

"Yes, my dad taught me a lot of stuff, but I've never, like, practiced. Minor injuries, sure. But I can't...I can't perform surgery."

"It's not that you can't, you just haven't tried. I am giving you the chance to be what you've always wanted." Alex was looking at me like he was offering me the world. "You want that, no?"

"Yes," I admitted, "but that would mean playing with people's lives."

"People who would die regardless if you didn't try."

"They could go to a hospital," I said, folding my arms.

"I already told you, Grace, my men cannot go to hospital. I'm going to be honest with you, I have nobody else. Do you understand how difficult it is to track down a trained medic with the necessary skills who is willing to work for me? Who will stay silent?"

"How do you know I would stay silent?"

"You already have," he pointed out. "And you are aware of the consequences should you rat. You're a smart girl."

"And you're a patronising wanker," I shot back. It was easier to insult him than to admit that I was actually considering his offer.

"Perhaps. But I'm a patronising wanker offering you an inflated pay cheque and the chance to be who you've always wanted to be—" Just then Alexei's phone began vibrating on the table. He glanced down to it for a second, silenced the call, and then his eyes were back on mine with a burning intensity. "Look, Grace. I have men dying left, right and centre. I have them coming out of the damn wazoo and disposing of bodies is a very mind-numbing task. You don't have to take this job, I'm not going to beg you—" I rolled my eyes at just how Alex that statement was "—but if you don't take it, people will continue to die. That's on you."

"As if you care about people dying."

"No, you're right. I don't. However it is very inconvenient when the people dying work for me."

I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously and swallowed, hard. Never in my life had I anticipated that I'd end up in a situation as ridiculous as this. It was almost comical—or it would have been, had we not been discussing death. "It doesn't sound like you offer very good employee safety," I mumbled, staring down at the table.

"Look at me." I couldn't. "Grace, look at me." I dragged my eyes up and the intensity of Alexei's expression stole my breath. "Are you listening?" he asked and I nodded. "Say it."

"I'm listening," I whispered hoarsely. I could feel the pinkness of my cheeks.

Alex's jaw stood out as he kept staring at me, imploring me to believe him. "I will always protect you. Do you hear? I will keep you safe, you won't have to be worried or scared. My men...they are not the same. I protect them, too, as best I can, but you..." He cleared his throat and looked away out of the window. "I will always keep you safe."

"That's a big promise to make," I pointed out and his eyes flickered back to mine for a moment.

"I don't make promises lightly."

"I'm sure," I nodded. "But you also can't guarantee that I'll never be in harms way if I took the job."

Alexei leaned his elbows on the table and spread his hands in a wide, nonchalant gesture. "You're right. I'm not going to make you any false promises, Grace, but I can assure you that I would try my hardest to keep you safe. There's a certain amount of risk, being associated with me, as I'm sure you might have gathered." I pursed my lips and nodded. "But nobody works for me against their will. You join me, and you are part of my group, my family, my people. We protect each other. Nobody joins without knowing the risks."

Part of me wanted to ask what would happen if I just ran away, if I told the police about Alex's organisation or someone who might pose a problem. Of course, it was pointless; we'd been through this already the first time we spoke.

"People who get in my way," Alex began, interrupting my thoughts almost telepathically, "they suffer. They die. I have no qualms with harming enemies or traitors."

"So, once you're in..."

"You're in." He nodded.

I chewed on my cheek, wondering if I really wanted the answer to my next question. "And nobody can ever...?"

"Leave? It depends on what you mean by leave. My men, they cannot leave. They simply are not allowed to quit, or bail. Things are not so simple for people like you, of course," he shrugged as if it were obvious.

"People like me?" I frowned. Did that mean there were others? How many, and what did they do?

Alexei's phone began to vibrate loudly on the table and he growled with irritation, his eyes flashing wildly. There was something especially dangerous about him when he was annoyed, I realised. Something sinister in his dark eyes, the flare of his nostrils and the deep crease of his brows. He was a thunderstorm personified; one that hadn't yet broken over the world.

I didn't want to be around the day the clouds finally burst.

"Should you answer that?" I asked. I was eager to have some time alone to calm down from Alexei's persistent gaze, but to my disappointment he shook his head.

"It can wait. As I was saying, things for people like you are not so simple. You enter of your own free will, and leave much the same way."

"I really don't see why that's so bad," I argued but he held a finger up to silence me before he continued.

"When you leave, you are free to do almost anything you wish, but we will be watching you. Every move you make, every cash transaction, every holiday, every webpage you visit, we will see."

"Why?" I breathed but Alex wasn't finished.

"If your dog dies, we will know. If it craps on the floor, we will also know. You can kiss goodbye to private phone calls—though it's not as if the government aren't listening anyway," he snorted with a roll of his eyes. "You leave us, but you never leave."

"You mean you're never free," I frowned, tasting blood as I realised I'd bitten down on my lip too hard. Alexei reached for a napkin before I had the chance.

"You're trembling," he commented, bringing the napkin to my bottom lip and dabbing at it. I suddenly became very aware of my breath washing over his skin, of his fingers so close to my mouth. His eyes flickered from the napkin to my own and I felt my heart jolt electrically.

"S-sorry," I muttered when he pulled away at last.

Alex smirked. "What are you apologising for, Grace?"

"I...don't know."

"You apologise too much," he said as he threw the used napkin away. "Never apologise for being you."

The comment was so flyaway and casual yet it managed to stick in my head. Never apologise for being you. I liked it. And no doubt my over-excited brain would replay it thousands of times in the coming days. "I'll try not to," I said, and for once I actually meant it. Alex seemed to be deep in thought staring out of the window, concern clouding his handsome features, so I took it upon myself to avoid an awkward silence. In true Grace style, I said the first thing that came into my head. "So you never told me what happened after the explosion. Did you find your father? Was he alright?"

Alex didn't turn to me as he said, flatly, "my father died."

"I'm so sorry—" I blurted, but he cut me off.

"Don't be. He's still physically alive, but the last vestiges of the man I once knew died in that explosion. He's...different, now."

"Like...injured? Paralysed? Does he have PTSD?"

"Not everything has to be fucking medical, Grace," Alexei snapped viciously, shaking his head.

"Oh." I ground my teeth to hold back the tears that prickled behind my eyes. "I'm sorry, it was insensitive of me."

His eyes snapped up then, and all of the malice had vanished from them. He chuckled, "I'm the one being angry with you for no reason and you're apologising." He shook his head. "Unbelievable."

"I've come to realise it's a part of who I am."

"It does appear to be," Alex agreed. "Take the job, Grace."

Once again I was reminded of how nothing was ever a question for Alexei; he didn't see things in binary terms, but unilateral ones. He only saw what he wanted. He only ever made demands.

"I...don't think I can," I said, looking down. "All of that danger, the risk, the lack of freedom..."

"I understand," Alex said cuttingly, in a tone that made me think he really didn't. "But you should know that my people need you far more than that hospital ever could."

"I know that, but—"

"If you change your mind, you phone me." He stood from the table abruptly and had his long, smart coat on in less than a second. From the pocket he produced a metal cigarette tin, picking one out and placing it between his lips. "You have my number, I trust."

With a rap of his knuckles against the table and no goodbye, Alexei was gone.

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