Chapter Nineteen - Fifty States Of Gay

Annus Mirabilis:

(n.) (phr.) A remarkable or notable year in history; a year of wonders or miracles, used to speak hopefully of the future.

Chapter Nineteen – Fifty states of Gay

06-26-2015

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Two days prior I had fallen into a heated discussion with Charlotte and it did not make me feel any better. She had asked, not even demanded, if we were ever going to have sex and I simply exploded. How could I tell her that I simply wasn’t ready to touch her in that way right now, or ever.

I had reacted in the worst way ever by accusing her of being too pushy, even though that had been the first time she had brought it up. And then, to make matters even worse, I had thrown something in about homosexuality. Not even directly noted at me, but in it’s whole. I told her that it was absurd we could do whatever we wanted and that seeing news flashes of gay people getting bashed in the head got old. It wasn’t as much that I wanted her to know how I thought about it, but I was more than angry when I heard her response.

She told me that gay people deserved to get some sense knocked into them. And of course she didn’t say it exactly like that, but her words meant quite the same. No doubt in my mind that she just screamed it in the heat of the moment, but she said it nonetheless.

I just wanted to distract her from the whole being intimate with each other, but that only made matters worse. For the first time in a while I had escaped again and I ran towards Evan for help. He would let me stay at his place, and I thought I was given a sleeping spot on the couch. All I got was a small hug as a sign of comfort. That gave me a reason to explode to him, to yell at him everything that had been bothering me. Luckily he took it much better than I thought he would and simply talked me out of my state of mind.

And then I decided to go home again and face the problems I had created. It was more than awkward to walk into the quiet house after work, only to be welcomed by a more than pissed Charlotte. Before she would have been sad, cried until I would have come to her. But now she was angry and she stood up for herself and that made the whole situation a bit better for me. It was good to know that she was more than just that shy girl whom let anyone walk over her.

That, however, didn’t make it any less tense or worrisome. Luckily we got over it pretty fast, as we soon learned we were both idiots and our words were futile. She apologized and so did I, but her comments about homosexuality made me think.

Even though she said it when she was angry, her words were thought about and her opinion must be this. Maybe she would never be the one to harm them, but she wouldn’t exactly stop anyone from doing it too.

And yes we were speaking to each other again, but I was oh so happy that I got to be away from the house for a while since it soon got to be the 26th.

And that brings me to now. For over an hour I’ve been walking, because I’m simply too tired to get the car out of the garage and make my way over to Evan’s house. That also means that I’m officially late and I still have to walk for fifteen minutes. Normally being late wouldn’t have bothered me too much, but this is the first night -since Charlotte and I got married- Evan and I will be together where I’m not an emotional wreckage. And I just don’t like tardiness when it comes down to Evan, because I want to spend as much time with him as I possibly can.

From the corner of my eye I can see the same people as always staring at me, but they don’t seem to be frightened by my presence anymore. It’s as if once they know who you are here, you’re accepted. And maybe that’s because they don’t have enough money to complain about it, but I think it’s because of their mindset. As long as you accept the people whom live around you, you will live as wealthy as the richest people.

My buzzing phone makes me jump a little, but I quickly get it out from the pocket of my jeans.

To: [Me]

From: [Evan Knight]

8:03 p.m.

You’re late :p I’ll meet you at the café?

For a second I just look at my phone again, blinking a couple of time to get used to the bright light that comes from it. Instead of replying I push the call button and to my honest surprise it doesn’t take more than five seconds for him to pick up.

‘Evan Knight speaking.’ He says in a hushed tone and I smile at the familiar voice.

‘Alexander Donahew at your service.’ I say back and he lets out a small giggle.

‘Good evening sir Donahew, you’re late.’ Evan teases.

‘And that my dear Sherlock, you have seen right. I will see you in a bit OK. I’m not more than ten minutes away.’ I take a deep breath at the end of my rumble and I hear him letting out a satisfied hum from the other side.

‘That’s fine, I was a bit late myself. See ya in a bit!’ He doesn’t wait for me to reply as he cuts off our call and I shake my head in fondness.

Being able to just hear him speak so freely makes me excited, even if it’s just on his behalf. He doesn’t even have to say anything special, but just his voice can calm me down

Within ten minutes I arrive at the bar and I stare in confusion at the beds that are laid out all over the floor of the room. Grownups are scattered over the ground, surrounded by blankets and pillows. A big screen is installed above the bar and everyone looks expectantly at it.

‘Sunshine!’ I hear Cindy yell from behind the bar and she rushes over to me. Like a grasshopper she jumps over all the people on the floor and they don’t even seem faced by it.

‘What is going on Cindy?’ I ask and she smiles at my confused look.

‘It’s movie night and I demanded from Evan that he would at least invite you.’ I roll my eyes at his tactics. Not once did I question why he choose a Tuesday night out of everything. Right on that moment the doors burst open and in walks Evan with a big smile on his face.

‘The movie can begin!’ He screams and I shake my head.

‘You couldn’t have told me I was to be here to see a cheesy movie with you and your neighbors?’ I ask as he comes to a stop in front of me, a cheeky smile plastered on his face.

‘Of course I could have, but where’s the fun in that. You’ll be staying tonight?’ He distracts me by pointing towards the bag of blankets next to the door that he must have brought along. I try to pretend to think about it, but it isn’t even a real question for me. I give him a small nod and text Charlotte saying that I’m staying over at Evan’s. After that I message Grace saying that I simply won’t be there tomorrow and I’ll get the work done I miss out on somewhere in the evening.

Within a couple of minutes everyone has put on their pajamas and packed all the snacks in rows next to the mattresses. And when the movie starts I immediately know who got to choose it. As soon as I see the familiar little deer I smile, Bambi is definitely a choice of Cindy.

As I wake up in the morning I’m greeted with an uncomfortable warmth and as I try to worm my way out of it I feel Evan stir from besides me. I try to stay as still as possible, so he can sleep a little longer. But it seems I have run out of luck as he cracks his eyes open. For a second he seems to be confused as to where he is, but it seems to come back to him soon.

‘Morning.’ He rasps out as he stretches his limbs and I smile at how sweet he looks. I don’t reply to him, instead I brush his hair out of his face with my hand. He seems a bit confused by my action, but wastes no time thinking about it.

As I look through my phone I can see the reactions from Charlotte and Grace, who both don’t seem to be pleased with me. I decide to ignore it and focus on Evan, who’s by now standing behind the bar with his eyes focused on a piece of paper in his hands.

I slowly crawl away from the blankets and pile of humans that are still asleep. When I finally get past it I walk around the bar towards Evan’s side and I smile as I what he’s looking at.

‘How am I supposed to make this?’ He asks me and my eyes go wide.

‘You mean you’ve never made eggs with bacon before?’ I scream-whisper to him and he gives me an apologetic kind of smile.

‘I’m more of a salad and smoothies guy.’ He scratches behind his neck awkwardly and I try so hard to keep my laugh in. Not only for his sake –because he seems incredibly ashamed- but also because I don’t want to wake any of the people that are lying here.

‘I’ll help you.’ I say and that’s when we start the whole process of finding all the stuff we need, and making minimal noise.

Evan’s just too small to reach most of the things and every time he tries something falls down that makes noise. And then I don’t get why the things are so high on the shelves, because Cindy’s even smaller than Evan. Aside from that we’re done in less than an hour and by then everyone’s awake.

‘Damn it!’ I hear Evan scream from the kitchen as I’m putting all the plates on the bar and tables. I put the plates down and run to the kitchen, only to burst laughing as I come face to face with an in flour covered Evan. His hands are still on the half-empty jar that is standing on the edge of the shelve.

‘Help me out please?’ He smiles sweetly and it’s hard to keep my laughter at bay so I can lift my hands and push it back. Just as I have freed Evan Cindy comes running into the kitchen and I look at her worriedly as I see the tears on her cheeks.

‘Come with me now’, she whispers and Evan and I do so without a question. Both still completely covered in flour.

As we walk back into the main room we see everyone sitting on the ground, their gazes focused on the screen above the bar. As I look up to the screen I see Obama and I give Evan a confused glance. But he too seems to be clueless to what is happening.

‘Sit down.’ Cindy whispers and Evan and I sink to the ground, our eyes locked on the big screen.

‘Our nation was founded on a bedrock principle that we are all created equal. The project of each generation is to bridge the meaning of those founding words with the realities of changing times – a never-ending quest to ensure those words ring true for every single American.’

Obama’s words echo through the room as Cindy turns the volume up. And except from the sound of the television nothing is heard, everyone listens attentively to what he has to say.

‘…This morning, the Supreme Court recognized that the Constitution guarantees marriage equality. In doing so, they’ve reaffirmed that all Americans are entitled to the equal protection of the law. That all people should be treated equally, regardless of who they are or who they love.’

My eyes widen as what he’s saying finally comes in, but the smile of glee doesn’t arrive on my face just yet. It’s as if it’s all just too unreal right now.

‘…There’s so much more work to be done to extend the full promise of America to every American. But today, we can say in no uncertain terms that we’ve made our union a little more perfect.’

The words keep running through my mind; equality, a little more perfect, regardless of who they are or who they love. And still it doesn’t seem to be real. Does this mean that every state, even ours, will have to accept gay marriage, at least by law?

‘…What an extraordinary achievement. What a vindication of the belief that ordinary people can do extraordinary things. What a reminder of what Bobby Kennedy once said about how small actions can be like pebbles being thrown into a still lake, and ripples of hope cascade outwards and change the world.’

Somehow I can’t really believe it, as if Obama’s just making a joke for April fools. His words seem too unreal and most of all, way too late. Too many have died because their kind wasn’t under lawful protection, but then again a lot of people will be saved.

‘..Those countless, often anonymous heroes – they deserve our thanks. They should be very proud. America should be very proud. Thank you.’

And it’s then, as he ends his speech, that everyone seems to come alive again. Screams fly through the room, tears of happiness roll down their faces and looks of joy are spread. But then I look at Evan and it seems as if it’s only then that I can find myself to believe it. A smile I have never seen before is plastered on his face and he jumps up and down in joy.

‘DID YOU HEAR THAT?!’ He screams at me and all I can do is give him a small nod with an amazed smile.

‘WE CAN MARRY!’ A couple of them scream and just as I’m about to stand up Evan’s pushing me down. And then his lips are on mine. Feelings like never before erupt between us and I can’t help but pull him impossibly close to me.

It doesn’t simply feels like freedom anymore when I kiss him. Now I feel like myself, as if that simple speech changed my feelings about him and about love.

I simply get lost in our embrace and all the screams around me seem to disappear the longer we stay together. As if nothing can ruin the little bubble we’ve build up in the time we’ve spend together.

And then when he has to pull away, in order to get some air, he breaths out the same words as I do.

‘I love you.’

And that’s when I know that I can’t stay with Charlotte and keep this act up, because only now I realize what I have been feeling all along. I love him, more than I ever thought possible.

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A/N: Hey there..

That's a bit different from other chapters.. It was hard to write..

Please let me know what you thought of it?

~Noortje