Chapter 3 - Canteen Moments

After his last conversation with Kristen, he had been lucky to stay away from her in class right the way up to lunch break. Fortunately, Laura had kept Kristen well away, introducing her to the rest of the group and half of the boys that were in the class, stopping her from going over to Matt. Though he didn't like Laura, he appreciated the fact that she could be so demanding of a person at times. If someone didn't give her their full attention then it was her goal to change that.

Matt enjoyed the silence and loneliness more than he thought. It was as if he hadn't been alone in days and so it was good to just sit and be in his own little world again away from the whispers and funny looks he usually received. Thankfully, most people paid attention to Kristen and therefore had something else to talk about so he didn't even get mentioned during class, which was a new one.

His nose was finally free from her choking smell of raspberries, smothered by the several other people between them, all of their different flowery scents mixing together to make a constant smell of a meadow. He liked it because it was faint, so he could breathe the nice clean air coming from the window next to him and didn’t have to strain for breath. The window seat was always his, everyone knew that.

Even though Kristen was on the other side of the room, he could still see her looking over every so often as if checking that he was still there. It was an easy mistake to make considering as he never joined in in anything and preferably sat in a corner away from everyone. Even so, he didn't like the attention he was getting from her. He wanted to be invisible but she was making it very difficult.

Every time she looked, he’d glare back and lean on his table, giving her a horrible nasty stare. By the end of second lesson, she’d stopped looking over and had started to enjoy herself with Laura and Franchesca, one of the other girls who trailed after Laura every so often, smiling shyly at some of the boys who talked quietly to her under their breaths.

Still, Matt saw Laura’s jealous looks as Kristen got the attention from the boys and even wrapped her arm around Kristen’s shoulder to take the attention away from her. The jealousy Laura had was clear to Matt even if it wasn't clear to anyone else. He sat away from everyone and observed their behaviours. It wasn't hard to see an envious girl.

The bell went and Matt sighed, pushing his chair lightly back to the wall. From the corner of his eye he could see Kristen glancing over again but he ignored her, flinging his bag onto his shoulder and pushing his chair very gently under the table. He waited, fiddling with something in his bag so that Kristen could go before him, stopping her from casually talking to him as he passed. He saw her hesitate and watch before Laura took her hand, laughed at something Jason said, and dragging her out of the door.

Matt switched his radar on and watched as her yellow form drifted to the left with several brighter lights around her. Then, he quickly crossed the classroom and opened the door, slipping outside into the corridor.

He was happy it was lunch, if only because he didn’t have to listen to everyone going on about their own subjects. Of course, learning was vital, good for life. Yet, he didn’t much care or listen to any of the information that was thrust upon him from passing students. From what he was, he couldn’t get lessons for. He wished they did make lessons, but they didn’t. Anyway, it was probably too dangerous to teach people like him the way he should be taught.

It was annoying being the way he was and he was sure people realised his diet change. If they did, they didn’t say so, but that might have been because no one talked to him anyway, and he wasn’t complaining about that one bit. He never heard any comments about his diet, though he never listened when he ate. He really didn't care either way.

Matt took the other way to the canteen, still getting there quicker than Laura and her gang even though it was a longer route. Students either didn’t see him rushing past quicker than the average walk or were ignoring him, both options he was quite happy about. He joined the queue and folded his arms, leaning carefully on the wall behind him. Several students in front of him turned around and then shuffled forward as if he had a disease they could catch.

He supposed he did have a disease in a weird sense… they couldn’t catch it, though, so they didn't need to worry about it. Again, he didn’t much mind having a disease. Maybe it was more like an illness. Yes, it was a kind of illness that ran in the family, kind of.

His dad had skipped it, the lucky bugger. His Mum had been free of it too, mostly for the fact that it didn't run in her bloodline. Aimee… His little sister that had only just had her tenth birthday party. He would never know whether she would have had it too.

Poor, poor Aimee. She never got a chance to change into what he was. A good thing he supposed, but still…he would have liked her to have lived that long to see if she had. It was his fault she never passed into teenage years, his fault his parents died, his fault that poor Aimee never even kissed a boy before…

Realising his fists were clenched so tight his knuckles were going white, he quickly relaxed them and looked up to see half the queue shuffling away from him on both sides. Some looked at his hands, others at his icy blue eyes that narrowed with anger that he’d been spotted at a low point. He shook his head and his hair flapped and framed his face.

Laura and Kristen with half the class all came in at once at this point. They were laughing and joking and all joining the line, give or take a few home made lunches. He groaned under his breath and picked up his tray, feeling the plastic as if it was putty. He hated the rectangle trays, he decided. Why have them so big? They took up so much room and there was no place to put your arms. He glanced around and then slowly moulded it into a perfect circle in ten seconds.

One girl in front of him looked back as he did so and widened her eyes with astonishment and fright. She began searching for her friend’s arm but she met Matt’s gaze and quickly dropped her hand. He glared at her and raised his eyebrows as if to say, tell her, I dare you. She swallowed and bowed her head, dropping her gaze and covering her face with her long blonde fringe. Matt smirked and stepped closer, causing her to back off straight into her friend, who glared at her then spotted Matt. She swallowed and quickly moved forward with the raising of his eyebrow.

He finally got to the food and the meaty smells warmed to him, ignoring the vegetables and the puddings. The silly girls in front were no longer his concern. They were merely just things to play with when he was bored. His eyes widened wildly as he spotted chicken and pork, beef and duck. He ignored the worker, who swallowed and glanced at her friend. The smells sucked him in, drawing him close. He could feel his eyes narrow and expand in a way which probably wasn't natural.

“Erm…What would you like?” The canteen lady asked and Matt shot his gaze to her, making her uncomfortable as his wild hunger started to kick in. He indicated all of the meat vaguely and she quickly piled it onto his plate. “Veg?” She swallowed.

As if he’d want any of that filth.

He shook his head and moved over, holding his breath. He had to control himself like he did every time he ate in the canteen. It had been a while but he was sure he could be capable to control himself a little. He skipped pudding but picked up a biscuit to stop people going on about him being a full time meat eater. Moving to the cashier, he flung down the original amount and then moved to an empty table.

Matt could feel eyes on him, wondering where he got the tray from and why he had so much meat on his plate. He refused to give into the smells and picked up the knife and fork, carefully making sure he didn’t bend them in his hunger to eat. He took a bite and then everything around him stopped. He didn’t care about what was happening now. He couldn’t concentrate on anything but his food and how delicate he had to handle it when he was so used to tearing it apart with his hands at home.

He finished it off and pushed it away, sitting up and leaning on his chair. Just the biscuit lay on his plate now. It didn’t interest him in the slightest but he had to eat it. He was in no way full yet he knew that he couldn’t go back for seconds, or thirds, or probably fourths, maybe fifths seeing as the plates were so small. It would cause too much attention and he wasn't sure he could go back up again to get a second helping anyway, not that the staff would stop him if he wished to. He bit into the chocolate biscuit and winced at it's tasteless flavour. How could people love this? How could people become vegetarians? It was madness!

He felt a shadow behind him and looked up to see Kristen hesitating behind him with her tray. They locked eyes and he glared at her, snapping the biscuit roughly between his teeth. She licked her lips and opened her mouth to say something but Matt turned away and scratched the knife against his plate. Next, he heard Laura bounding over and laughing.

“Kristen, babe, what are you doing over here? That’s so not a good table. Come sit over here with us!” Laura said and turned her nose up at Matt as he turned around to glare a her. She flicked her head and gave him a cocky look. “Yes?”

He shrugged his shoulders and continued to glare at her, trying to make her uncomfortable. He half succeeded.

“It’s rude to stare, you know.” She put her hand on her hip and flicked her hair, staring back at him with dripping venom.

“It’s rude to interrupt someone while they’re eating, you know.” He hissed back and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“You know, you think you’re so 'scary.'” She made speech marks in the air as she said it and Matt rolled his eyes. “But Im not scared of you. You’re just a freak.” She smirked and glanced at Kristen, who stood there quietly watching the conversation as if she couldn't look away. “Seriously, how could you stand him?”

Matt breathed out heavily and snarled under his breath. He had to keep control. It was definitely not a good time to get angry. Even now his fingers were starting to tremble with the anger that pulsed through him. His vision flashed from his radar to his original human eye and it made his head go dizzy. He moved his eyes to Kristen, his pupils flashing. She watched him, searching his eyes as if she could see what was happening, frowning slightly in the process. Matt ignored her probing gaze, too wound up to read much into it.

“Laura.” He growled quietly and pushed his chair back so he could stand and stare at her. She stepped back automatically and he grinned, though Kristen never moved and her smell started to slightly overpower the rest of his senses as she stood close to him.

Laura was small compared to Matt. He was well over 6 foot 7 inches whereas she was probably only just to his chest in height, if not smaller than that, considering as she slumped slightly in her stance. His size was intimidating to everyone in the canteen so he knew that he made an impression on Laura just by looming over her.

He looked thin and everything but he definitely wasn’t what he seemed to be and Laura seemed to grasp that knowledge the longer she stared at his chest. “Go away.” He growled under his breath.

She hesitated then, realised people were watching then stood her ground and stuck her chin out. “What if I don’t want to?"

“I think you do. If you had any sense in that peanut brain of yours you’d go to your table…now.” He glared with hatred in his eyes, his hands trembling with the effort to stay in control.

Kristen saw this, her mouth dropping open and her eyes widening as she realised that it was a dangerous moment. She took Laura’s hand, tugging her gently. “Come on, Laura.”

“No. It’s our first day back and he’s acting as if he owns the place!” She made her voice louder and Matt rolled his eyes, tightening his fists as others began to crowd around and watch. This really wasn't his day. He didn't need the irritation. He was perfectly happy sitting on his own until Kristen came over and ruined it, just like she'd done this morning. “Go on then, Matt. Show me who’s boss.” Laura pulled him back with a hesitating grin and folded her arms.

“You’re pathetic.” He growled at her and stepped forward. Everyone in the room stepped away from him automatically, though Kristen still hardly moved. She just stood there looking up at him as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

“Oh am I? Says the one who sits on his own every day.” Laura sneered, her voice wobbling slightly. She may have convinced the rest of the people in the area that she was brave but Matt knew that she was scared to death of him. She would cry if he ever touched her...not like he wanted to. She was disgusting.

“Laura, leave him alone.” Kristen whispered and tugged on her friend's sleave, her eyes never leaving Matt.

“Yes, Laura, leave me alone and stop trying to show off.” Matt snarled and kicked his chair back under the table. He kicked it so hard, though, that it whacked into the table and knocked both of them over, pushing the table and chair into the others closest to him. The people at the other table jumped out of the way to prevent themselves getting sandwiched painfully between the furniture.

“You don’t scare me.” She said, but Matt could see the fear in her eyes, the frightened little girl hiding behind a show. He smirked and stepped towards her again.

The room was silent so his footsteps sounded heavy and destructive. They definitely drawn a crowd now. It reminded him just like the time he'd thrown Mr Jones, only he wasn't going to throw a girl who just didn't know how to keep her mouth shut. She was thick but she wouldn't risk herself. She was just pushing boundaries to make a scene. Matt hated her even more for that fact.

“Laura, leave me alone or,” He picked up his metal knife from his plate, “you’ll regret it.” He slowly crushed it in his hands and dropped it to the floor. Students gasped and muttered things together as they stared at the crumpled metal knife near Matt's feet.

“Is that a threat?” She hissed, but he could see her fright getting the better of her. Her heart was pounding like mad and her yellow form was pulsing with her stress. Even her foot was slowly sliding back, though it was so slow that no one else probably would have noticed.

“I don’t know.” He cocked his head to the side and gave her a wild look, his eyes wide and dark with long cat slits, “Is it?”

“Laura, Let’s go, please?” Kristen whispered and linked her arm in Laura’s. This time she didn’t push away but stepped backwards with her.

“Good move.” Matt growled and then glanced at Kristen. They shared a look and then he stepped to the side and everyone moved away. He grabbed his bag and pulled on his jacket before pulling up his hood and turning his iPod on quietly. “I’ll see you in class.” He muttered for the hell of it and smiled mysteriously before exiting the hall.

He was half way outside when he heard someone behind him. Kristen had followed him out. He cursed under his breath and then realised her smell was everywhere. He sucked in his last breath then turned sharply and glared at her. She jumped backwards and then looked down shyly. “Sorry.” She whispered.

“What do you want, Kristen?” He asked and leaned on the corridor wall. She swallowed and looked into his eyes. His fingers stopped trembling now and he was glad. He hated risking people finding out. The more he trembled the closer they were to being in danger. Though he hated half of the population, he didn't want to kill them all. He never really was a violent person until a year ago.

“Laura shouldn’t have done that.” Kristen said and moved closer.

He shrugged and pushed his hands deep into his pockets so that he could curl his fingers into balls. “It’s Laura.”

“Yeah. I was just checking whether you’re okay…”

“Of course I am. I can look after myself. Kristen,” He leaned forwards despite the watery eyes he was getting from her smell, “I’ve been here for years. I know what Im doing.”

“I know but…” She looked into his eyes and licked her lips. Her hand twitched and he quickly stepped away from the wall. He didn't want her to go all soft and start touching him again. He really didn't like the fact that she thought it was okay to touch him as if they were friends. They weren't even close to being friends, for her own protection. She glanced down at the floor, not processing his thoughts that were running through his head. “Im sorry.”

“There's nothing to be sorry about. Go and hang around with your delusional friend.” He waved her away dismissively and turned, walking down the corridor.

He didn't know where he was going but he didn't want to stand around with her much longer in the risk of being seen. She definitely couldn't be seen having a friendly conversation with him otherwise she'd be banished as well and then she would never leave him alone. She was a pain but Matt tolerated her. He just didn't think that he could hang out with her every day. He could never be that close to someone ever again. He was just way too dangerous for the human race. That, and she was too curious for her own good.

“Wait, Matt!” She called and he groaned, turning back to her. She bounced up next to him and smiled slightly. He waited for her to say something but when she didn’t he rolled his eyes.

“What?”

“See you next lesson.” She smiled and then bounced down the corridor.

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. If she thought that they were going to be friends, she had another thing coming. He wasn’t going to be friends with her because of who he was and what he could do to her if he got angry with her, which probably wouldn't be that hard to do considering as she loved being irritating to him.

He nearly showed himself in the canteen, the worst moment when he’s enjoying his food and his wild side was out. He couldn't be in that situation once more. He'd faught too hard to keep it a secret and no snotty girl was going to make him expose himself in front of the whole college.

He moved outside into the cold yet his skin felt nothing. It bounced off him and radiated around himself like a bubble of hot air. He moved to an isolated bench away from everything and sat down, taking out his drawing book and flicking to another page. He closed his eyes, thought and imagined his next picture.

His pencil flicked into his fingers and slowly he began to slide it across the page in smooth long strokes. He shaped around the animal on the right hand side of the page and began to shade it, a dark black-furred bear with his teeth out and claws ready to spring. He moved from right to left, shading the background, a soft waterfall behind with a green meadow clearing. Next to the bear he drew very light flowers in groups in the long grass with a small robin red breast perched on one, a tree on the very left. It was looking up into the bear’s ferocious eyes yet it wasn’t moving, but had a curious gaze, it’s beak lightly open as if in the middle of singing.

He stopped and studied his picture for a moment and then shook his head and ripped it out. He looked at it again before scrunching it into a small ball and dropping it under the bench. Shaking his head, he closed his eyes a moment and tried to relax again.

Flowers like buttercups and daisies, tulips and marigolds all joined together as each person went past. He knew they were girls because of the strength. Girls seemed to smell so much stronger to him. Boys smelt like grass and trees, autumn or that spring type of smell, mostly earth and mud. Girls, however, smelt of flowers and summer, rays of sunshine and the sea. It was only Kristen who shocked him by smelling like raspberries.

The bell rung in his ears and he winced at the loudness of it. It didn’t have to be that loud. No one in the college was that deaf, not even the deputy headmistress who looked around 112. Still, again it was probably worse for him because of what he was. It could be an excuse for anything because his senses were so much stronger than the average human being.

He stood up and headed towards the corridor, tucking his book inside his bag and turning off his iPod he’d only just remembered, playing soft classical music in his ears. He took off his jacket and flung it over his bag just before he entered the corridor.

One boy bumped into Matt and straight away he switched his radar on, blocking his mind, and his lip twitched in annoyance as a muddy smell blocked his nose. The boy turned and searched him from head to toe, biting his cheek from the inside as if chewing on chewing gum. Matt glared at him and his lip twitched more. It wasn’t only that he was in his way, he also stunk foul.

Finally he cocked his head to the side and shrugged, moving out of the way and grinning at a nearby girl who blushed and smiled back, giggling. Matt rolled his eyes and strode forwards towards his next lesson, dreading another chance of maybe sitting next to Kristen.

Luck wasn’t on his side, as usual. It was as if Kristen had known they were sitting together. Also, it was music, one of his worst lessons, so she had to share the keyboard with him. He hated to share and for the past few years he had been on his own, due to the fact that there were spare seats where people had moved lessons - it showed how terrible the lesson was.

She glanced at him and the raspberries returned to envelope him back into her clasp. He gasped and moved away from her on his seat. She pushed her hair around and it only made it worse. He was choking and she didn’t even realise it. She stank so much of the perfume that it became ill feeling. He gripped the table and felt it mush gently in his hands. He carefully reshaped it and placed his hands on top of the table instead.

“Okay, class, here are your booklets. Find a song you want and get playing!” Miss Brooch exclaimed and clapped her hands, bouncing on her feet.

Matt rolled his eyes and put on the headphones on that hung over the stand. He turned the keyboard to it’s lowest, trying to stay as far away from Kristen as possible, then clicked on the piano voice. He didn’t even wait for the booklet, which Kristen was getting from the front. He knew what song he was going to play anyway.

Matt had watched many films with many piano based songs and one song that he loved was actually called the piano song but unfortunately it had singing in it and you needed drums and all sorts to make it sound right.

Still, he played the beginning and then mixed it into another song, this time from the film twilight, A film he had been dragged to see by Aimee just before she died. It was a rememberable song. She’d listened to it over and over again, wedging it into his memory and making it stick. He’d hated it when she’d been alive but now it was the one song he played when he thought of her.

Gently, he mixed it into one of her favourite Disney film songs. It was from Oliver and Company where Oliver and the girl (he couldn’t remember her name) were on the piano singing. He didn’t mind that song purely because of Aimee. It twinkled as he used both hands along the keys. He didn’t notice Kristen returning or when she sat down and picked up the headphones to listen. Only when he finished did he realise and he jumped back in his seat, almost breaking the legs.

“That was beautiful. You can play.” She whispered and looked into his eyes, her brown saucers softening.

“So.” He leaned back and crossed his arms, annoyed at having been taken by surprise once again. He didn't want to share his memories with her or why those songs were important to him. Those songs were just for him.

“When did you learn to do that?” She asked and stroked the keys.

He shrugged and removed his fingers from being near her. “I had lessons when I was little.”

“Can you play another?”

He studied her for a moment then nodded and moved the keyboard closer to him. He pressed lightly on the keys and then switched to another Disney song Colours Of The Wind. All of these songs which he now loved because of his family, and he couldn't help but think of Aimee and her beautiful singing voice as a child.

He played quietly at first until Kristen turned it up slightly so she could hear it better. It blurred into his ears but he didn’t care. He hated leaving things undone so he had to finish the song.

It came to a soft close and he stopped, slipping his fingers off the keys before lifting them away. He closed his eyes and breathed in, forgot about Kristen’s smell and coughed loudly. He opened his eyes and saw her looking at him carefully. Clamping his teeth together, he leaned away and stared at her.

“Wow.” She shook her head and opened her eyes slowly from a blink. "Beautiful.”

Matt stayed silent.

“Want to hear one I learnt how to play in my old school?”

He shrugged and looked down at his nails.

She took it as a yes and moved the keyboard back, adjusting her stance. “I loved this song. It was my favourite. I played it constantly.” She pressed a few keys and he recognised it at once. Her fingers slid around the keys as she played and he was tempted to join in but hated the fact that he’d have to lean over her to do it. “Do you know it?”

“I saw the film.” He answered simply and searched for the keys he knew.

“Well join in then.” She smiled. “You must know how to play it.”

He didn’t answer but waited for the next bit and then smoothly slid into the song, adding extra high notes. They played together and moved quickly into chopsticks, extra notes included. Kristen smiled and watched as they played together. Matt almost forgot himself. For once the lesson wasn’t that bad. He really did love music too much. It made him feel normal and safe. He never applied too much pressure to kill a song.

Next, he slid the tune into one of the waltzes. He did the high parts while she did the low, carrying from his lead. They kept in time and it sounded wonderful. Then, he realised that she had to come closer the more the song progressed. He swallowed but he couldn’t stop. Her arm drifted over his as she played the notes in the middle and his hand drifted lower down. They were reaching around each other as they pressed the notes, all blending together perfectly. Kristen grinned and laughed as she reached to the higher notes near Matt’s fingers and he reached lower near her other hand.

They both pressed the keys faster and faster as the song progressed, slowly moving back to the original stance. Matt slowed down and rested more into his chair and the song came to a close. Kristen moved slower too and finally they stopped, waiting a moment as the song trailed and then was silenced. They continued to watch the keys and then slowly their eyes met.

Matt cleared his throat and moved away, closing his mouth into a line. Kristen picked up his mood and stopped smiling, watching him carefully. She did this for a while, searching his expression and he narrowed his eyes with the examination. Why did she have to look at him? Did she know that he was a freak? Did she know?

“You should be a musician when you grow up.” She said and smiled slightly at him, ignoring his funny look.

He was already shaking his head. “No.”

“But Matt that was really good!”

“No.” He gritted his teeth and glared at her.

“Why not?” She asked and pouted.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Because It’s not my future.” He snarled and moved his chair back to get out of his chair. She always ruined it. It wasn’t as if he wanted to talk to her anyway. He just wished that she could treat him the way everyone else did so he wouldn’t have to act differently. She was making him talk to her and he didn’t like it. He didn’t want to change…well he did but not in that sense.

He wouldn’t be able to change that part of him ever again.

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So what do you think?

I told you he was a weird character. I needed to write this chapter to show you how different he was. He can be aggressive and nasty but he does have a soft side too!

Do you think he'll let Kristen know his secret? I'd be surprised if he did.

He's a very disturbed boy. Maybe, though, he just needs some tender, love and care ;)

The song The Piano Song - A Cursive Memory is the song Matt started playing before he added the other songs. I loved the version I chose and I thought I'd have to show you it :D

Hope you enjoy the book! Keep reading!