Chapter 48

She wasn’t entirely surprised when sleep didn’t come. Even though Sophia was more exhausted than she’d ever felt before, the much-needed rest that sleep would have brought her was an ever-elusive commodity she simply couldn’t reach. Her thoughts flitted to what life without Neil would be like. Though she was stronger than she’d ever been, she knew it was a future that she wouldn’t want to live in. She wouldn’t want to live without Scott in it either, though their rules in her life have been very different.

For hours, she stayed by Neil’s side, praying and hoping that he would be okay. She prayed to all of the goddesses. She prayed to the moon. She would listen to his breathing with a laser focus despite her having a piercingly sharp headache, which had most likely been set off by all the stress and worry, but Sophia would take a thousand headaches if it meant that Neil was going to wake up soon and that everything would be fine again.

Her apprehensive thoughts shifted to Scott as well. He still hadn’t returned home yet, and she couldn’t help but think the worst. If Neil had been able to make it back in his condition, then it must have meant that Scott was worse off. Or maybe he’d been captured. Or maybe he’d just not been able to find a way back yet. He was maybe still making his way here. Sophia went through various possibilities but found it hard to convince herself of the more favorable ones.

What if she’d lost them both in one night…?

No, she couldn’t think like that! Neil was still breathing – she should know, as it was the only thing she’d been listening for the whole time, other than sounds of either Scott returning, or someone else breaking in to finish Neil off for good.

She remembered that she had the pistol she’d found last night still stashed underneath the mattress they were lying on right now, so if she heard anything, she could just quickly reach for it there and shoot the hell out of anyone that dared step foot into the room.

She was the only one that could protect Neil now, and that realization was absolutely terrifying, but she knew as sure as she knew her name that she would do it without hesitation. They would have to get through her first, and she didn’t plan to make it easy for any would-be assassin that intended to come and hurt him.

Somewhat stunned by her sudden fierce protectiveness of Neil, she lifted her head off his shoulder and looked up at him wonderingly. The gentle moonlight infiltrated the window and illuminated the rugged contours of his face, and accentuated the sensuous curve of his lips. Unable to fight the urge, she let her hand lift to that face and let her fingers graze along his cheekbone.

“What are you doing to me?” she whispered, and inhaled deeply for what was probably the thousandth time, letting his clean scent wash away her still blood-and-adrenaline-addled mind.

Sophia had been trying to get rid of it, but it had left its mark on her. Seeing Neil like that, falling lifelessly to the floor, bleeding to death, and not knowing if he would make it or not, was truly the most horrible thing she’d ever had to endure.

But that was over now. She needed to look at what was ahead of her now, and that was stepping up and ensuring Neil recovered as quickly as possible. And she needed to face the possibility that Scott might not be coming back, and that she needed to get things ready in case they needed to escape from here for whatever reason.

Filled with renewed purpose, Sophia felt her exhaustion give way to new energy as though she’d just put in a spare battery she had in reserve somewhere.

Slowly leaning forward with her hand still resting on Neil’s cheek, and careful not to get close to any of the parts of him that would be tender, Sophia gave him a featherlight kiss on his closed eyelid before she slowly stood up from the bed.

Bending down and feeling around for the hidden weapon under the mattress where she’d left it, she found it and carefully pulled it out making sure she didn’t accidentally pull the trigger.

Securing the gun in the stretchy top band of her jeans at her lower back, she silently exited the room. The bathroom was an absolute mess, as she’d expected, but still, she had to push down the dread she had felt last night to keep it from resurfacing.

After returning with a garbage bag, bleach, rubber gloves, and anything and everything she needed to clean the place, Sophia first got rid of his cut-up and bloody clothes into the bag as well as the bloody towels. She would much rather want to go buy them new ones. Then she started scrubbing every single surface there.

She even wiped down the weapons she’d taken off him last night, checked their ammo and found that they were mostly full, then placed them in a drawer in the kitchen where she might be able to find them in a hurry if she needed to.

After that, she shifted her attention to the carpets. Other than the worst obviously being by the front door, and the part where she had dragged him and smeared blood as they went, there were also trails of blood leading up to the bathroom where it had either dripped from him or those that had come off the underside of his shoes.

Sophia got down on her knees and tried to get every stain out of the carpet with a hot bucket of water, soap, and a bristle brush, and though she got most of the blood out in the end, she could still see it faintly there.

Maybe it will look different once it’s dry, she reasoned, otherwise she would try and get something stronger from the stores later and wash it again.

How did he even get home? Sophia wondered as she stood by the front door and started to unbolt all the locks.

Peering tentatively outside, making sure that no one was around before she stepped outside, she saw the car was parked skew and that there was a trail of blood on the driveway too, from the charcoal-gray Jeep’s driver’s door to where she stood.

Filling the bucket with new water and soap, Sophia set to work on cleaning the driveway and the inside of the vehicle. There was blood all over the leather seat, and everywhere where he had touched the steering wheel, the dash, and the door handles. The key was still in the ignition, so she decided to familiarize herself with the car as much as possible, in case she needed to drive Neil away from here in a rush.

She knew the basics, as she remembered how her mother had allowed and taught her to drive their old car on the back dirt roads a few times when she was younger, but she wanted to check if she could still remember how to do it.

Ensuring the car was in park, as her mother had always reminded her to check for, and to step on the brake pedal, which she remembered was left and the acceleration pedal was right, Sophia turned the key in the ignition, and the Jeep’s engine roared to life. Holding back a yelp of excitement, she studied everything closely and memorized where everything was because she knew in case of an emergency, she wouldn’t have time to be uncertain about things.

Sophia found that she was able to recall everything as she reversed the car, after having to adjust the seat way more forward, of course, and parked it straight into the driveway this time. Turning the engine off, she got out and put the keys in her pocket.

It was probably six in the morning at that point as she lifted her face to the cool dawn morning air. She’d done all she could for now and needed to check in on Neil again.

As Sophia entered the room, she found him awake and looking like he was preparing to stand up. “What are you doing?” she asked, rushing over to his side.

His eyes were alert but not in a lot less pain as they shot up to her in relief. “I heard the Jeep upfront, and didn’t see you here anymore and thought–”

“It’s alright, you should stay in bed.” Sophia helped him back under the covers and popped a few cushions behind his back so he could sit in bed. He was clearly still stiff and in pain, but he was moving easier than she expected he would. “I just cleaned and moved it a bit more forward and straighter. Can’t have the neighbors thinking you can’t park your car properly anymore, can we?”

He looked at her as though she was some sort of new exotic creature that had just been discovered, as she moved to sit down next to him so that she could face him.

“How are you feeling?” Sophia asked, ignoring his stare that was sending hot shivers down her spine. “Are you hungry? I can go make you some breakfast? Or are you thirsty? Shit, I should have at least brought you a glass of water already!”

When she was about to get up to go do that, feeling ashamed for not even having thought of that before, his warm hand enveloped her wrist and pulled her back down.

“Sophia, you rest a bit,” Neil said with an amused smile. “You’ve done more than enough. I don’t need all of that right this moment. I need you more.”

At that, her eyes shot to his, thinking that she’d misinterpreted that last bit, but when she found his own bronze orbs filled with something she could only describe as adoration, she felt her heart stop. Even time stopped, but she still couldn’t tear her gaze away from the intensity she found there.

His hand came up and slipped a strand of her hair in between his fingers, twirling it tenderly, feeling it out. “I see you’ve been busy,” he said simply.

It was as though that pulled Sophia out of her dreamy stupor. “Yeah… About that,” she started to say carefully, but then Neil surprised her further when he pressed a finger gently to her lips, then moved his fingers to hold her face like he didn’t want her to look away for what he was about to say.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Soph,” he said before she could come up with anything to say. “You just proved once more that you are so much braver than any of us could have hoped for, and willing to do what’s necessary. I should never have doubted that side of you. I should never have doubted that you couldn’t handle the truth.” His face contorted painfully, but Sophia could tell that it wasn’t due to his injuries. “I was just so set on keeping you safe and not letting you have to worry about anything ever again, that I didn’t realize what I was doing to you.”

“Neil–” she began, but he cut her short.

“No, it’s not alright,” he growled almost, but still held her face gently within his calloused palm. “I took your power away from you, and I’m sorry for that. We should never have excluded you the way we did, and kept our activities a secret from you. Seeing you so broken last night when we left tore my fucking heart out, Sophia.”

He had said that last part with so much torment in his eyes, his voice, that she reacted without thinking. Sophia leaned forward and placed her hand on the side of his face as well.

“I know now that you only did all that to protect me, Neil,” she breathed, her face so close to his now that she could feel their warm breath mingling in the space between them. “And it was what I needed for a while – but I’ve changed. I’m stronger now.”

Neil smiled admiringly at her at the way Sophia had said that with so much conviction. “That you are,” he said, his eyes roving over her whole face as though he wanted to take every part of her face in at the same time. “You are an extraordinary, capable, intelligent, and courageous young woman, Sophia, and it’s clearer to me now than ever… But, you should know that I have a dark past–”

“I know,” Sophia said, quickly before he could say anything more. “I know and I don’t care.” At this Neil’s eyes seemed to widen in astonishment. “All that matters to me is that you are a good person now.”

This was true. So very true.

Sophia had assumed his past wasn’t clean if he had worked for her father before, but she’d seen enough goodness in Neil in the past months that she could hardly keep that part of his life against him.

And if truth be told, she much rather preferred to stay ignorant in that department. His past was his past, and that was that. She also had one, and it didn’t define who she was now. Not anymore.

When she saw his eyes going from shock to confusion at her words to him, seeming to be trying to figure something out, his gaze suddenly changed to something like heated magnetism after that. It inevitably drew Sophia’s mouth closer to his, and his fingers already tangled within her hair as though he felt it too.

Closer and closer they moved, taking their time, savoring the moment, until that moment was cut short. There was a shrill ring coming from Neil’s phone that she had placed on the nightstand last night.

As she looked over to the screen lighting up, Sophia felt her heart leap. “It’s Scott!”

She quickly handed it over to Neil, and she could see the hopefulness in his face as he took it from her.

“Scott, are you okay, brother?”

She could hear Scott’s unmistakable voice on the other end, as she closely watched Neil’s expression for telltale signs whether the news was good or bad. It seemed to be the former as she saw how his eyes lit up with relief.

Oh, thank the Goddess! She let out an audible breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and smiled. Neil was full-on grinning as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and squeezed there.

“Alright, just stay there,” he said to Scott. “We are coming.”

After he ended the call he gave Sophia the most brilliant smile and she would have hugged him if she wouldn’t have hurt him by doing so.

“Breakfast will have to wait, baby,” he said happily. “Scott needs us to go get him.”

Baby… Neil had called her that a few times before, and each time it had warmed her heart. This time it was no different.

“Us? Me too?” Sophia raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

“Yes, you,” he practically purred, flashing her something of a conspirator’s grin. “Who else is going to carry me and drive us there?”