Chapter 203

Chapter 203 The other half Enzo left Doris with a bit more confidence in his movements. He looked like a man on a mission and she didn’t have to guess who he was seeking out in the crowds. The music was lovely inside the halls. She watched as couples moved to the dance floor and glided around the area with silks swirling around them.

A part of her envied them, she had never been asked to dance before and they all looked so happy.

Doris searched for William and found him in the next room by the buffet speaking with a different group of men. As if he could sense her staring, he lifted his eyes to her and she smiled. A ghost of a smile touched his lips as he offered a small shrug. He clearly still wasn’t able to get away from the crowd that demanded his attention. He must have been making some good impressions if they all looked so thrilled to be speaking with him. She turned her gaze away from his golden appearance when someone grabbed her arm. “Doris! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Beth said. She pulled Doris away from the crowds and down a small hallway that servants usually used when they had to carry food back and forth.

“What is it, Beth? Did something happen?” Doris made sure the door closed behind them so they were alone before she gripped her friend’s hand. “Did someone offend you out there?” “No, no. I’ve had a few men think I was someone special and tried to dance with me but-that’s not why I wanted to talk to you.”

Doris felt like someone had deflated her fear. The last thing she wanted to do was murder a man for touching her friend during William’s celebration. But she would have in a heartbeat. She gripped Beth’s hand and led her to a nearby bench by a large window. “What is it?” “I saw you and Enzo talking and… I —I wanted to know if he mentioned me.” Beth said quickly. Her cheeks burned bright red as she forced herself to look Doris in the eye. “If he mentioned you?” Doris grinned. “All we talked about was you.”

“Don’t make fun of me! Tell me the truth! It’s alright if he didn’t say anything, I just want to know.” “I am telling you the truth!” Doris laughed. “He wanted to ask me about you. I think he’s quite smitten, if I do say.” Beth twirled a piece of her fallen hair around her finger as she bit her lip in thought. She studied Doris as if she was trying to detect a lie. “Well, what did he say?” “I can’t tell you that, Beth. You know I couldn’t! He just wanted advice about you, is all. He knows how close we are.” “Hmm.” Beth hummed and leaned back. “Is there something else that’s on your mind?” Doris asked. “I just…I—I feel confused.

About a lot of things.” Beth admitted. She dropped her head in her hands. Doris moved closer to rub her back. “A week ago, I wanted to get as far from here as possible and now… now I want to stay.” “Stay at the palace? Or stay near…someone?” Beth looked up at Doris with a hopeless expression and Doris knew instantly. She wanted to stay Enzo. “Now I understand how you feel. I quietly thought you had lost your mind when you wanted to stay here for William. But now… I don’t know. I don’t want to be out in the world alone like I thought I did. It scares me just to think about it.” “You don’t have to be alone in the world, Beth. You are free to stay as my guest for as long as you want. In fact, I really hope you do.” “I know that but I—”Beth stood and started to pace the small area in front of them. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I don’t know if I’m being foolish because the first boy has given me attention. Am I being foolish? You didn’t let William in your heart for months.” “It’s not foolish to like someone so soon.

Enzo is charming and a good person. William is… well, complicated. I fought everything I felt for him and resented myself for even thinking of being nice to him. You don’t have those thoughts for Enzo.” “No, he’s charming and perfect—what if he’s flirting with every girl he sees and I’m just reading into it? I’ve never been flirted with like that before—what if my brain is just thinking he cares but he doesn’t?” “Beth, I guarantee you that Enzo isn’t flirting with anyone else since he met you. You’re not reading into anything, I think he really does like you. No, I know he likes you.” “That’s even worse! What am I going to do about that? I wasn’t prepared for a lord of rogues to find me appealing! I wasn’t prepared to be stared at in every room he’s in! I now fix my hair and care about what I look like!”

Doris smiled as Beth continued on her frantic rant.

“I can’t even have a quiet moment to myself! My brain reminds me of him every second I’m alone. I stay up all night wondering when I’m going to see him next and the thought of him leaving back to his home—

I didn’t expect to feel so sad at such a normal thought. What is wrong with me?” “There is nothing wrong with you, Beth! You’re talking about having feelings for him. All of those are normal things, even when you don’t want them.” Doris gripped Beth’s arm and made her sit down again. “I’m just… I don’t know if I’m ready to love someone, Doris.” Beth whispered. “I don’t know if I would survive a heartbreak. I’m so used to people leaving me in my life, I became numb to it. But – I know if I let myself fall for him… I wouldn’t survive it.” Doris frowned. How could she explain that Enzo would never leave her? Doris couldn’t make that promise for him, even if they were mates. The future was never clear, there were so many paths that people took that could change the outcome of what they promised. One day, someone could tell you they loved you and never want to see a day without you. And then … and then they leave. Whether it’s a friend choosing someone else to replace you or a lover finding another woman to warm his bed. Doris wanted so badly to take away her fears, but she couldn’t tell her that he wouldn’t leave. Doris had the same fear about William always in the back of her mind.

Even with a baby in her tummy and a mate mark on their necks, “I think…” Doris gripped her hand and placed it in her lap. “I think that I felt the same way you did. I wanted to push William as far away from me as possible so I didn’t let those rotten feelings overtake my heart. I told myself he would leave me, every night. I told myself it meant nothing when he expressed interest in me—because he would just lose interest in me one day.”

Doris sighed. “I can’t promise you that Enzo won’t hurt you, even though I highly believe he never will.

Love is pain in itself. It’s a wonderful, horrible thing and I didn’t want to feel it either. But now that I do, I realize that I wish I hadn’t held out for so long. I wish I allowed myself to feel happy as I do now.” “Do you still think William would leave you one day?” Beth asked as if she was reading her mind. “I want to say no, but I can’t see what the future holds. I do know one thing, I wouldn’t take back all the days I spent in his arms for anything.” Doris brushed the hair from her friend’s face. “Men don’t complete us, Beth. They make us feel like we’re walking on air sometimes, but they don’t complete us. We don’t need them to feel whole. If something happens in the future between you two, you will be whole again. Even if it takes months or years. He could never take your worth, so don’t be afraid to fall.” Beth squeezed her hand. “If he breaks my heart… can William ban him from the kingdom?” Doris laughed. “Absolutely.” “Doris?”

They both turned to see William coming up the hall. His cloak swayed around him and his crown glinted in the light as he moved. He looked glorious. Doris stood and smoothed out her skirts. “Yes?” William bowed his head to Beth. “I hope you don’t mind, I’d like to have a dance with my lady.”