Chapter One

Chapter One

***Update: Nora's sibling, Shae, pronouns are them/they. However, I did not explicitly address this in the story at first. Since it has confused a few people, I have added a scene. If you see someone using the wrong pronouns in the comments, it's probably because they didn't know and read this chapter before I made the edit. Thank you.

When I was a kid, and I colored outside the lines, my parents praised me for being creative, but once I learned to color inside the lines, it was a game-changer. It signified a turning point. I wasn't just getting older, I was learning. I understood the concept of coloring, and soon, I'd understand the concept of so much more.

I started matching my clothes, learning right from wrong. I strived to make good grades, stay out of trouble, and always, always, always, listen to my elders.

Because, for kids like me, you'll never forget the first time you didn't.

I forgot to tie my sibling's shoe. They fell, scraped their knee, and my father said, "You the oldest. They depend on you. Always keep them safe, and don't ever let me down."

From that moment on, I vowed to never color outside the lines again.

But coloring within the lines can get repetitive, and doing what's expected of you is a full-time job. There's no escape, but you can call timeout. Among our family, the bathroom was our unspoken agreement. Whenever the day became too much, anyone was allowed a moment of peace. And today, I needed it.

Warm water glided down my hands as I scrubbed the soap away. Our broken faucet knob squeaked at the touch, and then it was quiet. The silence warped my ears, but I could still hear the low rumble of the customers downstairs.

I dropped the seat cover and sat down. I cherished the moment my legs nestled into themselves. "I'm very dedicated and hardworking. Meeting deadlines is my special—ouch!"

My band-aid ripped from my skin when I forced my sock down. I caught the oozing blood with a handful of toilet paper. It was impossible to practice at this point. "Collard greens, napkins, hours, food."

I replaced the band-aid with a fresh one. Damn these crap shoes. They were rubbing my ankles raw. As I forced myself up, my legs revolted with aches. Endure. Endure. Endure. "Collard greens, napkins, hours, food. Collard—"

"Nora!" Shae tapped on the door. My moment of peace ended as quickly as it started. "Table five wants their check!"

Well...I guess it's showtime. "Collard greens, napkins, check, hours, food." I threw my reflection a parting glance, confirming not only did I feel like trash, I looked like it too. "Coming!"

Like opening the doors of a stadium packed with avid fans, the restaurant's noise level was almost unbearable. Perks of living upstairs where you worked. It was a selling point for my parents. And when my siblings and I realized we'd get our own rooms, it was a selling point for us too.

I headed downstairs as the evening rush was in full swing. Customers talked over themselves. The smell of cornbread and fried potatoes touched my nose.

It always surprised me how many people could fit in such a tight space. The restaurant was on the smaller side, so we invested in outdoor seating. With Shae's fashion eye, they made the perfect setting for social media shots. Inside, booths lined the walls and tables cluttered the middle. Our kitchen sat at the head of the restaurant, behind the breakfast bar and register. The interior was really where Shae's magic shined. Fairy lights, black walls, quotes from Maya Angelou and Oprah. Perks of having a black-owned family business.

As I hopped onto the dining room floor, I collided with the youngest of my siblings. "Nadia, you're supposed to be studying upstairs with Zacari."

I did her hair this morning, but within a few hours, her puffballs were gone. Rocking her mini afro and big doe eyes, she swung her hips and pointed at the end of the restaurant.

Zacari stood at the door, chatting up three women in their thirties. He just got a lineup, which meant he was feeling himself. Zacari, Nadia, and Shae all looked like my mother. Big eyes, full lips, and rounded features. Where I looked like my father. All angles, sharp cupid's bow, and lean frame. But in terms of personality, I'd like to think my mother and I were the same. I didn't want to be anything like my father.

The women laughed at Zacari's flirtatious banter, and I threw my hands on my hips. A second later, he turned, as if sensing my glare. Weaving through the tables, he grabbed Nadia's hand and they ventured upstairs.

A bell chimed, and my father's voice shot through. "Order up!"

I rushed to the front, grabbing the collard greens while they were still hot. When I set the order on table two, a ravenous baby almost bit me. Placing a few napkins behind them, I ticked the duties off my mental checklist.

Scurrying to the register, I punched in the orders for table five, but the feeder jammed. It hated me. It never did this to anyone else. As I dismantled it, Larry thought it was the perfect time to see about his check.

I didn't have time for him right now. "I'll adjust your hours tonight," I said.

The gray-haired man tightened his lips and returned to the fryer. "'Ight na, y'all messin' wit my money."

I swallowed my retort as the receipt printed anew. After I took care of table five, I headed to the kitchen.

"Them/they?" A customer asked.

I stopped in my tracks and swiveled around. Shae stood before a skinny man with a beard that took up his entire face.

"Yes," Shae smiled, pulling onto their name tag. "It's my pronouns."

The man shook his head, removing his glasses. "You'll have to forgive me, but what the hell does that mean?"

I stepped closer, but Shae threw me a look. They hated it when I got involved. Shae swatted their hand for me to turn around, but I wanted to see where the conversation was going.

Shae cleared their throat. "It means I'd like you to use them and they when referring to me, but if it stumps you, you can always just call me Shae."

The man tilted his head, then nodded. "Okay, Shae. I'd like the steak and eggs, please."

"Right away," Shae grabbed his menu and turned on their heels. They made it to the second table, before turning back around. "Oh...what would you like me to call you?"

"I go by Jim," he beamed. "Oh, uh, he and him?" he chuckled. "But, hell, you can call me Shirley if it gets me some more cornbread."

"Okay." Shae laughed. "I'll get you cornbread too, Jim."

Shae made the journey to their next table, leisurely. I had to pace myself just to walk by their side. Their steps descended like feathers, while mine were more like an avalanche running away from a fire.

"I thought we were going to have a problem," I muttered.

Shae shrugged. "The people that get it, get it. And the ones that don't...they can see Dad about it."

I chuckled. Speaking of dad. "Dad—"

"Hold on. Here." He handed over a fluffy waffle and crisp piece of chicken. His homemade syrup dripped onto the floor, and I devoured it in seconds. Right, food.

"I have to get ready for my appointment," I said.

"That's right." He snapped his fingers, looking over the restaurant. "How yo' tables looking?"

"They're almost done. Shae said they'll watch them for me."

A group of ten bustled inside, and Shae called Zacari down. My father turned on his heels and fired through the remaining orders. "Okay, see you when you get back."

Shae had already removed my apron when I said, "Maybe I shouldn't go."

"We got this. If something goes wrong, I promise I won't call you." Swiveling me to the steps, they whispered, "Good luck."

I jetted upstairs and got ready in a rush. Still looked like trash, but at least I changed my shirt. The company wasn't far from the restaurant, but the buses were running late. Great.

Sweat rolled down my back, but I blamed it on the sun. When my heart picked up speed, I couldn't deny my nerves.

I didn't even know why I was doing this. I didn't have experience, and my references were Shae and Mrs. Davidson down the street. They were fantastic liars. I was deluding myself if I thought I had a chance at this internship. They would take one look at my resume and laugh. I should just stay on the bus and take a loop around town.

When I made it to my stop, I almost did it. But I didn't want to miss my chance even if I failed.

The company was a giant in every sense of the word. Every year, they picked five interns to create a new gaming program. If it was good, it could launch your career, and if not, it still looked good on a resume. To say the least, it was a long shot.

Regina Michaels was my interviewer, and when I showed up five minutes late, I knew I'd have to work my ass off to prove I wanted to be here.

Her six-inch white heels were intimidating enough, but when she marched to the elevator, I shrunk in size. I am so out of my league.

"What school are you attending this fall?"

My interview started in the elevator, and suddenly, I felt unprepared.

It was like she wanted to see if I was worth her time. It wasn't even a good first question. It was the question everyone asked. You just graduated high school. What are you going to do now? And every time I said I would continue working at the restaurant, everyone said the same thing. You can't do that for the rest of your life.

I wasn't planning to; I was just...still figuring it out.

"I don't plan on going to college," I said. "At least, not right now. I have a lot to do for my family."

Whether or not it was the right answer, she smirked. Opening her office, she offered me a chair. "Did you do any web design in school?"

A little. "All the time."

I felt my phone vibrate. Something's wrong. Shae wouldn't call me if it wasn't, but they're okay. I'm sure whatever it is, they can fix it. We're fully stock, Larry clocked in on time, the customers—

"Nora Campbell." Regina knocked on the table.

"I'm sorry. What was the question?" I leaned forward to show my intrigue, but she had the smallest amount.

"I see on your resume, apart from working at your family's restaurant, you don't really have much experience. I'm curious. What got you into animation?"

Ah, this was an easy one. "It's fun. I took it up one summer, and I loved creating different worlds. It's something I want to keep doing until I master it. I like that it gives me control."

At my answer, she raised a brow. She was the hardest woman to read. Was that good? Bad? Is she hungry? I wasn't sure, but when my phone started ringing, I knew she'd never have my full attention again.

"What world are you most proud of?" she asked.

I don't know. She probably thought I was talking about mystical lands of magic and wonder, but I really just made different versions of reality. Everything was the same, but I'd make myself different in some way. Sometimes I picked a place on the map and created a story from there, but they were all rooted in the mundane. Rooted in a reality different from my own.

"What sets you apart from other candidates?" I guess I took too long to answer. She went back to standard questions. I can't even think straight.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Damn it, Shae. Stop calling. Just fix it. "I practiced for this question," I blurted out. Shut up, Nora! "I'm very dedicated and hardworking. Meeting deadlines is my specialty."

"And you as a person?"

"...what?"

"You as a person. What do you feel sets you apart?"

I'm really hard working. What else is there to say? "I...uh, am a team player?"

"Are you asking me?"

"No, I just—"

"Yes, we want someone who can meet deadlines and is hardworking, but what do you specifically bring to the table? Passion, creativity, innovative ideas."

"Yes, all those things."

"Nora—"

"Okay." I shot to my feet. This wasn't going well. I didn't think I'd be this bad. "I'm very hardworking, dependable, and I can get the job done. I'm not sure what else there is to say? Do you want me to say I'm friendly or I can tell a joke on command? What answer are you looking for?"

She smiled, leaning into her seat. "I want to know you. Tell me who you are."

Silence.

I thought I had.

"What do you want?" she asked.

Silence.

"Who are you doing this for?"

More silence. I didn't understand. I thought she wanted to know my strengths and weaknesses. What my best qualities were, and how I'd fit with a team. These questions were too hard and involved more inward thinking than I prepared for.

"What's your life missing?"

"Freedom." The words slid from my lips so quietly, I wasn't sure she heard me. I wanted to take it back. I meant to say the arts, but that's what freedom felt like to me. Art was freedom, and in my world, it was elusive.

"And you can't have that now?"

Another hard question. "I'm trying."

"You remind me of my mom." She pushed back on her chair and stood up. "You're so busy trying to do everything the right way, you feel lost when you don't know what it is. Because of that, you think you know yourself, but you don't. Not really. Outside of the things that make you a good worker, I want you to meet that person. If I were to consider you, you need to tell me who you are." She scribbled on her notepad and handed it to me. "Create a story on your life's most defining moment. Really dig deep. I'll give you until the end of summer. Deal?"

Was this a motivation tactic, or was she trying to push me away? This was exactly why I didn't go out. There was nothing better on the outside.

Digging into my pocket, I finally answered Shae's call. Regina's eyes went wide as she took a step back. I couldn't answer them both at once. My family was more important. I wasn't going to waste my summer at an internship when my family needed me.

"What is it, Shae?"

"The restaurant's on fire!" I could almost smell the smoke on their tongue. The thought trapped the breath in my lungs.

It was punishment. I was selfish enough to desert my family for something that wouldn't benefit them in the end. I deserved this.

Gathering my things, I headed for the doors. "I'm sorry. I need to go. It's a family emergency. Thank you, Ms. Michaels, for the offer, but I'll...I'll think about it!"

I hurtled through the halls and out the doors. I'd never take a job too far from the restaurant, and this was why. My quick departure and arrival were accompanied by the sun as it scorched my skin. But its power didn't compare to the smoke that clogged the air. I thundered down the alleyway and business owners packed the street. Pushing through their heated bodies, I caught a glimpse of my father. Nadia hung on his side as he shook the firefighter's hand.

I looked up at the restaurant, and it was completely intact. Thank God.

"How bad is it?" I asked when Shae and Zacari walked over.

"No one was hurt," Shae said. "It was a small kitchen fire. We won't know the state of the restaurant until they tell us."

I could feel my father's eyes. While I was interviewing for another company, the restaurant almost burned down. Though I never told him the truth, he knew what I was doing. Like every manager knows when their employee seeks other employment, but this was my father. He'd see it as betrayal, and I could never convince him otherwise. Most of our conversations were without words, and in recent months, we got used to life being that way.

He didn't have to tell me he was disappointed, because I knew.

Our family would have to stay somewhere else until the repairs. The great thing about having a business on Patterson's Alley was everyone looked out for each other. Every owner offered their place to us, and when night came to a close, Shae and I sat at the steps of Ace in Sound. Mrs. Davidson supplied us with a case of soda to drink our sorrows away.

"It didn't look that bad." Shae tried to play it cool, but I didn't buy it. The restaurant looked and smelled what I'd imagined hell was like.

"Dad said we're going to be out of business for the entire summer, and with mom's hospital bills, it's going to be tight." I gave up on crunching numbers for the time being. It wasn't looking good. "It's a lot of money keeping a dead person alive."

Shae swiveled around and hit my arm. With a flushed face, they yanked my soda away. "Momma's not dead. I'm cutting you off."

"A whole summer, Shae. We're going to miss out on so much money." I could cry just thinking about it. It was our busiest time of the year.

"Well, now you have plenty of time to do your animation story."

I knew I shouldn't have told them. "I'm not doing it. What kind of person tells someone something like that? I don't know who I am."

Shae cackled, falling onto their side. "You that mad?! You know that lady was right!"

"She wasn't."

"Okay, when's the last time you did something for yourself?"

"Uh...today and the restaurant caught on fire."

"Bye!" Shae swatted their hand in my face. "That don't even count. You was going to use the internship money for the restaurant. I mean, I'll give you some credit because you went for something you actually liked."

"I like working at the restaurant."

They threw their head back. "No one likes working at the restaurant apart from Dad. You hate it too. I see the way you look at girls your age like you wish you were creating havoc in these streets!"

"Okay," I sighed. "I'm done with this."

"Alright, prove me wrong then." Shae hooked their hands around my jacket, whirling me around. "I'm selling my old guitar and a guy wants to buy it. Meet him and take the money."

"What? Why would I do that?"

"He's paying thirty-five dollars."

"Thirty-five dollars for that piece of crap!"

"I know, he wildin'" Shae joked. "Since you know yourself so well, take the money and spend it on yourself."

They weren't even making sense. Always scheming, but they knew I could never say no to a challenge. Especially if it meant I could dance at the sight of their defeat. "How is that going to prove anything?"

"Because you can't do anything for yourself. It's thirty-five dollars. Too little to give to the restaurant's repairs and too much to buy bullshit."

They pulled out their phone and swiped through the buyer's Instagram. Blue eyes, dark hair, and tattoos. He was definitely someone's type. But there was no way he was real. He was almost too perfect.

Shae gave me a knowing look. "Damn, date him while you at it, then."

I jabbed them in the side as heat inflamed my cheeks. "Shut up."

"Just meet him, take the money, and get away for the day."

Author Note: Hello! Thank you for giving Smelling Roses a chance! I hope you love it just as much as I do!

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Here's who I picture as Nora!