19.1 - the ghosts of saint christina ruins

Darius Hoffmann might've been by far the kindest teacher, nay, person in this entire school, but that didn't mean that he wasn't slightly insane. Why else would someone plan a camping excursion in fucking November.

To be fair, it hadn't rained in... five days, maybe? And now the air had something crisp about it, fresh and cold and yet somehow foreboding. Just fine for a walk in the woods. Not at all fine for a night in the woods.

The hike up to the ruins of Saint Christina Cathedral was a decently long one, and yes, Quinn did admit it, walking there and then back in one day was not impossible but way too exhausting for him specifically, and it probably wouldn't leave the class much time doing whatever they had to do at the ruins, so the sleepover was very much necessary.

Quinn wasn't really sure for how long they'd been walking now, but his feet hurt, and his legs hurt, and everything hurt, very badly. That might've just been a personal problem, given that almost everyone around him, everyone he cared about at least, was much more chipper.

Except for Dev, but Dev had never been in a good mood in his whole entire life.

Celeste was walking in the middle of the forest path, Quinn to her left, Felix to her right, and Dev had technically walked next to Felix as well, until the path had gotten narrower on the right and he ended up having to fall back, now awkwardly walking behind Celeste and Felix, who happened to be two giants, while Dev happened to be rather small.

Quinn had attempted to make space for him to line himself up again next to him, an opportunity Dev didn't want to take though, apparently.

"Five people have died or gone missing since the 1950s in the woods around the ruins." Felix held up his finger as he read something off his phone.

"I'll be the sixth," Dev muttered, but his roommate apparently overheard him, perhaps on purpose.

"An eyewitness says that they've seen someone be dragged into the woods at the ruins by a creature with big teeth and antlers and scary claws. Uh, this report does not coincide with any of the deaths or missing persons though. So maybe they freed themselves."

"Or maybe they fucking lied, Felix."

"Now, would someone just do that? Lie on the internet?"

Celeste didn't answer, just shook her head while Felix laughed, poking her side. It was strange to see them talk, interact, be friends, Quinn had kind of forgotten that she knew and potentially liked, or, well, tolerated, anyone beside him. She'd mentioned that she was friends with Felix, but it'd been hard to imagine. Until now.

"I got that from a forum called england-most-haunted. Probably not that reputable, hm."

Celeste threw a glance over on Felix' phone, then shuddered.

"Was that forum made in 2004? What is that?"

"1999. Now stop being mean, this is peak internet. Anyways," Felix continued, tapping on his phone a few more times. "I have a couple more reputable sources. I read on Reddit-"

"Felix."

"No, really. I read about so many reports of paranormal activity at the ruins, and they all match each other and are independent from each other. There's even video evidence for some of them!"

"Filmed on a toaster with inexplicably bad quality, I assume?"

"Bad quality cameras are a staple of ghost hunting, C."

"Yeah, gee, I wonder why!"

Quinn threw another look back at Dev, whose eyes were fixed to the ground as he was walking. Quinn sighed, tried to move his hand to catch Dev's attention and direct him to walk next to him, though unsuccessfully.

"Anyway, almost every source I found reported hearing someone whistling while up at the ruins. This was a constant, especially closer to the former bell tower."

"Not to be that one 'must've been the wind', guy," Quinn started, and Felix already shot him a toxic glance. "But like, the wind usually does that. Whistle. Especially around buildings."

"Okay, well, many people have also reported to see women dressed in black robes and nuns clothing roaming the ruins, which some believe to be the spirits of the-"

"It's a place of pilgrimage for nuns, Felix." Celeste sighed, something genuinely desperate in her voice. "Those are probably actual living breathing humans. Mister Hoffmann literally told us that there's an altar built for nuns to pray at."

"How about this, multiple people reported hearing female voices singing and chanting. Like a whole choir. What wind do you know that sounds like a choir, Miss Scientist?"

"The one you hear when you're dehydrated and tired from hiking all the way to the ruins."

"Oh yeah? Explain this, then." Felix played the world's crunchiest video from his phone, and Quinn could hear a lot, except for a choir.

"Is this a bit? Felix, where the fuck do you hear a choir in this?"

"And now get this, people have also reported shadow figures following them around."

"Do I need to explain to you what shadows a-" Felix pressed a finger against Celeste's lips, shushing her.

"Just watch, C! Wait and watch, I have so much stuff packed and ready. Those ghosties can't hide from me. Or from Dev. Right, Dev?" Felix turned around, and only now did Dev seem to come back into reality.

"Don't drag me into this," Dev sighed, and Quinn tried and failed to suppress a chuckle.

"You don't believe in ghosts, do you?"

"I- Well, I believe in life after death. I don't think I believe in those EDM detector things Felix carries with him."

"EMF, Dev. Electromagnetic- thingie thing." Felix crossed his arms, frowned. "I thought we were in this ghost hunter shit together."

"I'd rather not hunt them, I believe in a peaceful coexistence."

Felix let out a sigh, big and dramatic, shaking his head in disappointment, before he continued to tap on his phone, holding it up to Celeste's face, who adjusted her glasses and squinted at a screen, before he continued to ramble on. A distraction Quinn used to fall back a little to walk next to Dev instead.

Quinn buried his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans — yes, they were allowed to put on normal clothes for hiking, what a grace — as he synchronised his steps with Dev's.

"I didn't know you were into that ghost stuff," Quinn said after a few steps, his voice a bit lower so as to not interrupt the heated discussion Celeste and Felix were having.

"I'm not really as into it as Felix, but, I guess. Yeah."

"I never asked you about like, religion stuff. I mean you asked me, when we were chatting in the greenhouse." Quinn cleared his throat. It'd been about a week, almost two, since they'd met in the greenhouse, and yet neither of them had really acknowledged that meeting since then, as though it was embarrassing. Maybe it was, kind of. But it had helped, perhaps, just a little bit. "So, are you? Religious?"

"I don't really know, to be honest, I'd rather say..." Dev shrugged. "I guess I'd probably call myself spiritual or something? I guess I kind of pick and choose what I believe in. A bunch of practices from Hinduism, Indian folklore, and stuff like tarot, astrology- Please don't make fun of me for that."

"Why would I make fun of you?"

Dev narrowed his eyes as he now finally looked up from the floor and at Quinn.

"Because you've made fun of me for that before, Quinton."

"Oh." Quinn blinked. "Wait, when?"

"Forget it," Dev hummed, looked back towards the ground. His steps slowed down a little, as though he was attempting to create more distance between him and the others, but Quinn matched his speed, walking next to him silently.

Quinn didn't want to know how long that hike was, but god, it paid off. The ruins of Saint Christina Cathedral were broken down, overgrown, reclaimed by nature, and yet they indicated something so much bigger and grander than the church they had back at Oakwell.

The church stood up on a hill, at the foot of which laid a small picknick and camping area, right on the edge of the forest, with a fire pit, a cabin with toilets (thank fuck), and picknick tables, at which half the class now sat while the other half was forced to stand despite aching feet.

"Alright, wonderful! Take in the surroundings a little bit, smell that nature and history and, ah!" Mister Hoffmann threw his head back as he inhaled, his face absolutely fucking beaming. That man loved his job, alright. "Welcome to Saint Christina Cathedral. Let's spend a wonderful day here, shall we?"

The class stayed silent, so Quinn decided to do a little cheer, and someone laughed about it in a really ugly way.

"Let's set up camp first, it might rain later today. Two people per tent. They're all the same size, all brand new, but we have three colours available, so you get to choose, isn't that fun?"

No pink, Quinn noticed when he looked at the pile of rolled up tents. How disappointing. Though, there were purple ones, which was fine as well. Purple, yellow, and blue.

"My favourite colour is blue," Felix whispered to Dev, the two of them standing behind Quinn.

"Well, mine is yellow," Dev whispered back.

"Rock paper scissors?" Silence for a few seconds, then: "God damn it. Okay, yellow then."

Then, Celeste leaned closer to Quinn to whisper something as well.

"Purple?"

"Absolutely."

"Good."

"I already sorted you into pairs," Mister Hoffmann said, pulling out a small crumpled piece of paper from the pocket of his jacket. "I didn't have to do too much, I just went by who's roommates with whom... If you'd really like a different partner, do let me know..." He squinted at his notes. "Okay, I'm gonna just read out the pairs and you can come and grab a tent, yes? Sorry to the people that get colours they don't like. I'm going to claim a purple one for myself already."

Mister Hoffmann kicked one of the purple bundles off the pile behind him, then adjusted his glasses.

"Okay. Dev Ansari and Felix Murakami are a pair."

Dev quickly grabbed a yellow tent and grinned at Felix, who let out a woeful sigh.

"Will Stapleforth and Milo Taylor."

They grabbed a purple tent. God damn it, if the purple ones were gone before Quinn's name was called-

"Kienan Behera and Vihaan Chand."

Another one gone.

More names were called that Quinn had never even heard before in his life, the supply of purple tents dwindling. He was absolutely ready to fistfight someone for that.

"Quinn Harvey and Ciel Moseki." Fuck yes. Quinn held the purple bundle up to Celeste with a grin. The last one left too. This was all that mattered. Quinn truly did not give a shit about the rest of the day from now on.

After about ten or so pairs had formed, the groups were sent off to set up their tents anywhere around the camping area, most opting for close to the toilets or the fireplace, whereas Felix and Dev has quickly gone as close to the edge of the forest as they were allowed to, probably to heighten chances of being dragged off by a monster with big teeth and claws and antlers.

"Let's try to be as far away from the others as possible," Celeste mumbled, scouting out the place. "I know some of these guys are gonna yell the whole fucking night and I'd love to get at least some sleep."

"Near the ghost bros, maybe? Unless Felix turns on his EDM detector in the middle of the night."

"EMF," Celeste corrected, then shook her head at herself. "I mean, sure. I'm surprised you're willing to spend more time near Dev than you have to, though."

"Ah, well." Quinn cleared his throat, opened his mouth to explain himself, closed it again, and let out a sigh. "I'm surprised too, I guess."

He threw the packed up tent somewhere far away enough from Dev and Felix to be relatively out of earshot but close enough to be considered tent neighbours, and took a step back, looking at the ground and inspecting it with narrowed eyes.

Quinn had gone camping dozens of times with the Polish side of the family. He'd watched his nature loving aunt stand in a clearing in the middle of the woods staring at the ground just like this many times, with her arms crossed, pondering the texture of the dirt and direction of the wind.

"The opening should face this way." He pointed towards the forest edge. "So we don't lie at an incline. Ah, I don't know if the tent pegs will go into the ground properly if we don't have a hammer, the dirt is really hard here."

"Got it, uncle Quince."

"Do I make a good nature uncle, you think?" Quinn turned to Celeste, throwing a grin at her as he tried to deepen his voice. "Come on, kids, let's get out into the woods! Do you see this interesting tree? Ooh, what a curious bug!"

Celeste chuckled and shook her head, opening up the tent bag.

"C'mon, you curious bug. Let's assemble this thing."

By the time all tents had been set up, the sky had darkened a little, heavy grey clouds hanging above the ruins of Saint Christina.

Most students had already been outfitted with rain coats, umbrellas dangling off their arms or being used as walking sticks, when the class had assembled back at the picnic table. Mister Hoffmann quickly counted heads, before heaving a box of clipboards onto the table.

"Now, we're not just here for fun." As though even half of the students present really were having fun here. "This is a history excursion after all. We've talked lots about the surrounding woods, about Oakwell when it was still an abbey, about Saint Christina, but now it's time to really step into the past and see it for ourselves. Around the ruins, there are different signs with information about the place. You're going to join into groups of four and-"

Four. Quinn, Celeste, and then probably Felix and Dev. Because Celeste, surely, was going to want to team up with Felix. Not for any other reason. Not because strangely, something drew Quinn to work with Dev to potentially see more of that side he'd teased him with in the greenhouse.

Oh no, that'd be frankly pathetic, wouldn't it? To spend all that energy on hating Dev's guts just to admit that- No. Just to maybe slowly change his mind on him now. To want to get to know him better. To hear him speak freely and maybe even laugh.

God, how Quinn hated being in the wrong.

But maybe he'd stop being wrong about people if he just- He bit his own tongue in an attempt to stop thinking about things he never thought about, trying to direct his attention back to... What exactly?

Mister Hoffmann had stopped talking and the students began chatting to each other instead, Celeste looking at Quinn expectantly.

"What are we supposed to do?" he asked, his voice lowered as he looked around.

"Make groups of four, grab a clipboard and a worksheet, and explore the ruins. We have until noon tomorrow to finish but I'd like to get it done quickly, if possible, because it's going to rain soon." Celeste threw a quick glance up towards the sky. "If you're fine with that, I'd say we can team up with F-"

"Felix and Dev, yes, I had assumed you'd want that." Like Quinn didn't. "Alright, let's go then."

The students scattered, some climbing up the hill towards the ruins, others retreating into their tents to rest first. Quinn grabbed himself a clipboard with a pen dangling off it, and studied the worksheets. There were a bunch of questions on them, along with low quality black and white pictures of the ruins.

Celeste had already communicated the plan to Felix through mere eye contact, which he answered with a nod, and without any more hesitation, he led the way up the hill, Dev, Celeste and Quinn following him.

Climbing up the gravel path, the ruin's full glory finally properly came into view. They were huge, almost inhumanly so, even the long fallen tower of the cathedral still reaching into the grey sky as though it was attempting to pierce the clouds.

One large wall was still standing almost completely intact, save for the panes in its large arched windows or anything that connected the wall to the rest of the building. Just a lone, enormous wall, indicating where once was the entrance to the cathedral.

Was it even just one building? How big had this place truly been once, hundreds of years ago? Aside from the almost fully intact gateway, a crumbling tower, and parts of a domed roof covering a small makeshift altar, many smaller pieces of brick and empty elaborate window frames were scattered across the hill, but it was difficult to truly make out a proper foundation or shape.

Everything was too big, Quinn was too small, and while imagining the vastness of the universe had never felt all too difficult, it was near impossible for him to comprehend the fact that human hands had built something so enormous on some random hill, centuries ago.

All to pray to a saint so minor that even her ghost had faded from history, and to a god so careless he allowed his very own palace to break into pieces.

"Blah blah, submit your answers by the end of the trip, always walk around with at least one other person..." Celeste tapped against her clipboard with a pen, scanning the instructions and questions. "Okay, so there are little information boards all around and each of them answers one of these questions. I'd guess that is the first one over there?" She then used the pen to point at a small plastic sign lodged into the ground next to the large entrance, wasting no time and walking up to it.

Felix followed, though Dev stayed where he was, had dropped the clipboard in favour of pulling out his phone, taking a picture of the front wall, keen on making sure the perspective was just right.

Quinn stood with him, picked up the dropped clipboard, and waited. Watched him tilt the phone just the tiniest bit. Watched him lower the exposure. Watched him, quietly, until the photo was done. Satisfied, Dev looked at the picture, then let his phone slip back into the pocket of his coat, and-

"You didn't have to wait for me," he mumbled, taking back the clipboard Quinn was holding out for him.

"Always walk around with at least one other person. Says the rules on this paper."

"Since when are you concerned with rules, Quinton?"

"You were supposed to teach me exactly that, weren't you? To be a good boy and stick to the rules?"

Dev shook his head with a scoff, but he was no longer able to put on that good old annoyed bitch face. Like he'd lost that ability suddenly, a hint of softness in his features betraying him again and again.

The two caught up with the rest of the group, who were already scribbling down an answer.

"First question," Celeste said, "you can just write 'fourteenth century'. One done, and... like one million to go." She flipped the page just to reveal another one packed with questions.

Celeste craned her neck, looking out for more plastic signs like the one they were standing in front of, an obnoxious spring green colour that disrupted the haunting serenity of this place. The info sign, but also the scattered groups of students trotting around looking at anything but the fallen beauty of the ruins.

"I'm sure most of these questions are google-able." Celeste flipped through, scanning her worksheet.

"Oh, yeah, sure, you're here experiencing history with all seven senses but sure, just google it. What's with the hurry, C?" Felix huffed, leading the group further into the ruins.

"Listen, I'm all for history, but I'd kind of like to get this done before it starts pouring. And I kind of want an earth sample of the forest before everything turns into mud."

"An earth sample, I can't with you nerds." Like that didn't make her kind of cute. No hetero.

Quinn would've believed Celeste's weather worries to be a little over the top just a minute ago, and yet in just the blink of an eye, the clouds overhead had gone from light grey to something horribly heavy and foreboding, wind rustling through the forest's arms so loud that it almost startled Quinn when the leaves let out noises that rather sounded like an approaching army than a breeze.

Down at the foot of the hill, he saw a couple of tents going flying. Not his own though, of course, he was far too skilled at setting up a tent, and if push came to shove, he'd be the last one standing. Take that, nature averse rich kids.

The first page of questions had been half filled by the time Quinn felt the first drop of water on his nose. It was just a light spray of rain, for now at least, and though Celeste was quite begrudged now, the group continued venturing further.

They had figured out their perfect dynamic by now, with everyone having equally difficult and valuable tasks.

Felix was the navigator, telling everyone where to go whenever he found a new info plate. This made sense, because he was the tallest of the group, saw the most, and walked the fastest.

Celeste scanned the infographics for answers to the questions, then told everyone the solution, and occasionally named other interesting information she read.

Dev took pictures. A lot of them. From every angle as well. Kneeling down in the wet grass, getting on his tiptoes, leaning back or forwards or to the side, taking as many pictures as he could.

And Quinn was there as well. Sometimes he'd hold Dev's clipboard. Sometimes he waited for Dev to finish taking pictures. Sometimes he'd ruin Dev's pics by jumping into frame, which would cause him to sigh and groan and roll his eyes and do all that. So, normal Quinn and Dev activities, really. Being annoying and getting annoyed.

Except Quinn was starting to think that maybe Dev wasn't as annoyed as he used to. Which was equally nice and horrifying.

"Hah! Aha!" Felix made at some point, very loudly, as he and Celeste were both reading over another info sign. "See here? 'Saint Christina Cathedral was known to hold regular exorcisms, and its nuns had developed a way of exorcising that involved a choir of nuns standing in a circle around the victim to sing to them.' Makes so much sense now that some people have heard singing."

"Absolutely makes sense! Because they made it up, Felix," Celeste commented, jotting something down. "But there's the answer for the question. 'What method did the Saint Christina nuns use for their exorcism?'"

Quinn attempted to write down 'scary singing circle' on his sheet, the paper having become wet and soft and unwilling to take up any ink, and so it tore underneath the pressure of his pen. Almost automatically, he looked up at Dev, as though he was waiting for two very strangely affirming words.

"First page done." Celeste had somehow managed to keep her worksheets perfectly dry. "We could do the rest tomorrow hoping it's not raining again. Or-" She cast her gaze upwards. "We finish this now before it actually starts to pour. Which means quickly. Maybe we split up?"

"I'm in the 'do it tomorrow' camp, personally," Quinn mumbled. Except every time he said 'I'll do it tomorrow', he ended up never ever doing it. Which Celeste very well knew.

"Of course you are, Master of Procrastination. In that case, we're finishing it up now. Let's split up and collect all the answers later."

If Quinn had learned one thing during his time as a horror movie semi enthusiast, it was that you should never split up, especially not when a storm was approaching, and especially especially not in some haunted ruins surrounded by deep dark woods. This wasn't a horror movie, though. Not yet.

"I'll go with C," Felix quickly said, putting an arm around Celeste and patting her back a little too violently. "That surely is fine with you two, yes?"

Felix smiled, once more, in that mischievous way, as though he knew something Quinn didn't. Felix always knew more than Quinn. Which he, being the nosy ass he was, absolutely hated.

Dev just sighed, shot Felix a look that meant something, probably nothing good, then shrugged.

"Sure, whatever." Dev hadn't spoken much this whole time. His voice sounded tired, as it did so often. "Come on, Quinton. And I'm not doing all the reading by myself, alright?"

Quinn looked at Felix, as did Celeste, but Felix seemed satisfied, already having turned into the opposite direction to continue his search for history, and more exorcism facts.

"So," Quinn quickly began when he was left alone with Dev, not wanting that buzz inside his whole body to spread whenever there was a silence between the two. "What do you think? About ruins. And all that."

"It's really pretty here," Dev answered, a distant coldness still audible in his voice. "It's... inspiring?" He shook his head at himself. "Don't tell me I sound silly, I know that myself."

"That doesn't sound that silly, though?" Quinn saw the next bright green plastic sign blitz through the greyness. "I mean, you're an artist, so of course it's gonna sound silly to a nerd like me. But nerd talk about wanting earth samples is gonna sound silly to you as well, right?"

"I guess so."

"And much sillier things have been said today, haven't they?"

"If this is about Felix and his ghost stuff, please don't make fun of that."

"I'm not making fun of that, but it is a little-"

"It's something he's very interested and passionate about." Dev leaned closer towards the sign they had approached, studying it. "It doesn't matter if it's real or not, or if you think it's stupid, it gives him joy and he's not hurting anyone."

It hurt a little, the sudden harshness.

"Well- Yeah, I know, I didn't-" Quinn cleared his throat, then pressed his lips together and read whatever the sign had to say as well, or at least tried to. He scribbled down whatever keywords he believed to be relevant before throwing a quick glance at Dev's paper on which he was essentially writing the same words, just more coherent.

Right hand. The letters looked straight and pristine and perfect. Bandages were still wrapped around his wrist.

The two ventured to the next location. Wind was pushing the spray rain into their faces and Dev held the hood of his yellow raincoat down to prevent it from slipping off his head.

The two walked closer along some crumbling walls now, shielding themselves from the wind as best as possible. It whistled past the stone and through the glassless windows, singing a haunting melody of the past. The sky had darkened, the uneven ground had slowly started to become slippery and muddy.

They seemed to be the only people up here now. They weren't, of course not, Celeste and Felix still must've been somewhere, but the ruins were so large and winding that it isolated the pair, made it look so much more lonely than it actually was.

Or perhaps they were alone. Quinn couldn't blame the other students for wanting to flee this place, an approaching storm lingering in the sky. Was that static in the air, or was it just the silence between him and Dev?

The next stop was part of a tower of sorts, still standing half way with parts of its roof still attached, though Quinn couldn't help but wonder how safe this really was, wind blowing through every crack in the stone. Nonetheless, it was the only place that seemed to be safe from rain that now began to fall stronger and heavier.

By the time they had scanned the next sign for useful information, the horribly annoying yet light drizzle had turned into a proper downpour, the kind of rain Quinn was used to from Oakwell and surroundings, violent and deafening.

Yet, with one hand holding tightly onto his hood, the other one holding his phone, Dev ran out of their sheltered corner and took more photos of the broken tower, Quinn attempting to duck away. He had his priorities set, certainly.

Coming back into hiding, he sat down onto a piece of stone Quinn had now repurposed as a bench, taking the hood off, which hadn't protected his head quite as well, some strands of hair that framed his face now dripping.

"Should we wait this out?" Quinn asked. "At least until it's less heavy?"

Dev sighed, his breath visible. "Let's wait for a bit." He then began scrolling through his gallery now filled to the brim with photos of ruins, stone, trees, and, in between, Quinn's blurry figure as he had jumped into the frame a couple of times.

"What are all the pics for?" Quinn asked, scooting a little closer to Dev to get a better view at the screen.

"Might use them as references," Dev explained. "I kinda wanna paint some of these. Do some photo studies." He tapped on one of the pictures of the broken tower reaching into the dark sky. "This one is-"

"Inspiring?"

"Well." Dev sighed, pressed his lips together. "It is, actually. Yes." He copied the picture into a different folder, then continued to scroll through. "I do have an idea actually, but alas. I have no time for that."

"Busy with other stuff?"

"Yes, ever since you've been here, I'm missing about two and a half very valuable hours per week that I could spend on painting." Dev let his phone slip into a pocket, then leaned back against the cold stone wall as he looked out into the ruins from their little shelter. "Plus, there's the exhibition in summer, and I need to get stuff done for that as well."

"Ooh, that art thing? I've heard of it. Nico showed me his huge face."

"Why would he show you that exactly?" Something sharp laid in Dev's voice now.

"I just like, randomly met him once." Quinn shrugged. "No offence, I know he's your friend or something, but I think he's a bit weird."

"I thought you were so similar to him? Real equal and all that?"

"Well, yeah, but I think he's different weird from my weird. Like we're both strange but in different directions? I don't know if I still find him as-" Handsome. "-cool as before."

Dev's shoulders dropped the smallest bit, as though that had relaxed him somehow.

"How's your large face painting coming along? I mean, Nico told me that you'd also, like, do the thing he does. What did he call it? 'True selves' or something?"

Dev sighed, now really loudly and woefully.

"Coming along like shit. I don't like painting myself like that. I don't like looking at myself like that. It's weird, I don't know how Nicolas does it. I don't even know what my true self is supposed to- Whatever. It's a cool idea, I guess. For someone like Nicolas."

"Would it hurt to do something else for your exhibition? Something you enjoy more?"

"I know it's all very easy for you to just say no and do something else if you don't like something, but-" Dev huffed, his body tensing up a little again. "It's not that easy. I can't drop out of Nicolas' idea just like that, and as much as I would like to, I just don't have the time or energy to work on something else. I have to get that self portrait done and then-"

Dev pressed his lips together, his eyes filled with something almost scared, somehow obedient, a dog fighting the urge to bark but remembering that it'll be scolded. He turned his head away from Quinn, just the slightest bit.

"I have other things to do."

Quinn remembered now. Talks of clients, of commissions, of squeezing in customers, of his father.

"Wait, your dad wants you to take commissions, doesn't he? You don't have to-"

Dev's head snapped around again, his eyes widened.

"Why would you know that?"

"I- oh, I just, you know, I thought-" Fuck. Fuck. Lie to him. Do not let him know that you- "I overheard you on the phone with him, and-" Just tell him a goddamn lie. "I mean, from what I had heard, you know, I didn't hear a lot, I just-"

"Did you spy on me?" An immeasurable amount of disappointment washed over Dev's voice now. Fuck, no, no no no no, go back.

"No! Not on purpose, I just, I didn't-" Quinn inhaled, tried to sort out his words. "I just saw you on the phone and I didn't want to interrupt you, you already seemed so upset-"

"You didn't want to interrupt me? So you decided to listen instead? Are you serious?"

The anger in Dev's eyes should've been no different than the usual annoyance that had come through during basically any other interaction Quinn has had with him before. It should've been the same as back at the lake party, back at their first lesson, and their second and third and fourth lesson.

And maybe it should've filled Quinn with that same self-righteous pride, as it had done many times before.

Of course, it didn't, and Quinn knew that, felt too hurt to pretend that it did.

"Dev, I didn't mean to listen in. I just didn't know what else to do, I just-" Wanted to hear what you were saying, wanted to know what made you so upset, wanted to know the things you'd never voluntarily tell me.

"You know what, I should've never- I should've known." Dev got up now, put his hood up once again, grabbing the clipboard and walked into the rain. Don't go, don't go. "You just exist to make fun of me. All you ever want is to find out where it hurts."

"What? Wait, no, what?" Quinn got up as well, his body lifting him up by itself. "Do you seriously think that? It was an accident, I didn't mean to listen in, and I never would make fun of you?"

"Oh, sure, you'd never. I'm not fucking stupid, Quinton, I'm not falling for your bullshit." And off he went. Into the rain, his steps fast and heavy, into some direction, but certainly not the right one. Quinn's feet carried him into the same direction.

This wasn't it. This wasn't what he wanted, why would he think that this was what Quinn wanted? To upset Dev, to make fun of him, to-

It was what he wanted, wasn't it? That was exactly what he wanted this whole damn time. This was what he wanted two months ago, a sight he would've loved to see back then, wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

"Dev, can you stop running away from me?" Quinn shouted through the rain, his feet sinking into the muddied ground, each step starting to feel more difficult than the last.

"I'm not running away," Dev shouted back. No, he was just walking really quickly and he was certainly walking quickly away from Quinn, and that honestly should've classified as 'running away'. "Can you stop following me?"

"I'm not-" Quinn stopped for half a second, attempting to catch his breath. "I'm not following you, I just- You're getting it all wrong, can you just let me talk to you?"

Dev didn't answer, stumbling through the mud past lone walls and corners and pieces of foundation. Quinn quickened his steps in an attempt to catch up. Why didn't he stop, why didn't he listen, why didn't he hear what Quinn had to say? Why did he just run with the first impression he'd gotten instead of just letting him explain himself?

They passed another piece of broken down wall, apparently another gate, now running out onto an open field with damaged crosses and headstones protruding from the ground. A cemetery, something Quinn, and likely Dev, would've loved to look at further, to explore, but there was no time to look around.

"Dev, at least stop running," Quinn called when Dev's hood slipped off his head, "you're gonna get sick-"

"You know what I'm gonna get sick of?" He finally stopped, whipped around, staring at Quinn like a deer in headlights, his brown eyes wide and angry and, why the fuck were they so scared? "I'm gonna get sick of you chasing me around, I'm gonna get sick of being around you, I'm fucking sick of you, Quinton. Just when I thought that maybe-"

Dev took a step back, and his foot sunk, slipped away, and-

Before he could fall, Quinn reached out to grab his wrist, pulling him closer into a more steady stand. The skin of his hand was ice cold, wet, he trembled the slightest bit. Quinn didn't want to let go. Under no circumstance did he want to let go.

"I was starting to like you," Dev said, his voice a mere whisper in the storm.

"You're-" Quinn inhaled, his voice stuck in his throat. "All this just because I accidentally-"

"You just don't fucking get it."

"Please, you're- This is- You're overreacting-"

Dev finally pulled his hand away. "You don't fucking get it, Quinton. Just leave me alone, god fucking damnit." He was a thunder now, his voice, his anger, he was a lightning that struck Quinn. And then he turned. Walked away. Disappeared like a ghost into the rain.

Quinn inhaled, opened his mouth as though he was going to call him again, then bit his tongue.

This was his fault.

☆-☆-☆-☆

WC: 6381

i'm going insane. anyone else going insane? i'm going insane.

i'd say something like "congrats for making it through the chapter!" but youre not done yet. i had to split this one. there's more. sorry! keep scrolling! but do vote and comment!!!