10 - a pale dot in the quiet

There was something strangely peaceful about Monday evenings at Oakwell. It was quieter, almost calm. Usually, at this time students were getting ready for dinner, loitering around the entrance hall waiting for the dining room to open, or sitting outside in the courtyard.

But on Mondays, a majority of the students seemed to be headed off to their clubs and activities, and the court yard was near empty when Quinn strolled along the gravel paths with his hands buried deep in the pockets of his emerald blazer.

Deep and foreboding sounds of an organ blared from the churches thick black walls, along with the faint song of a choir, a supernova echoing through the galaxy, falling silent every couple of minutes.

Quinn hadn't even been inside the church to really look at it yet, aside from the first day assembly, but even then he hadn't seen much of it. Come to think of it, he'd not seen much of Oakwell's more pretty parts in general, only cold classrooms, an overfilled cafeteria, a dorm that barely looked lived in yet.

But the church, the library, the surrounding forests, all that magical stuff, all of it now seemed to be an afterthought, something barely worth mentioning or looking at, not when the students were busy sitting in sad and barely decorated prison cells all day.

Except that quiet Monday evening was just the right time to explore. He only really had about two hours to look around before dinner began, and there was still some homework waiting for him in his room, a matter more pressing than looking at pretty places, but if there was one thing Quinn was great at, it was ignoring what he didn't want and doing what he did want.

The courtyard was encased by four buildings; the main building and church to the south, the Abbots house to the west, and his own dorms to the east. North, there was a wall with an ornate gate leading towards the racing track, tennis courts, athletic fields and later the lake, though if you headed a little further north-west, you'd eventually arrive at a greenhouse, hidden between trees, blending in with the greenery.

Quinn had only seen it in passing, and only really heard about it being referred to as 'that creepy ass greenhouse' by Ciel, and now was the time to actually see if he could get in there.

The sun had turned into a dark orange, dyeing the sky into swirls of pink and red. Rays of light fought through branches and leaves, painting patterns onto the path that had become more of a beaten trail than an actual gravel path.

A house of glass, with white flourish across the windows, a vaulted roof, stained green and brown from plants growing up the walls, quietly rested behind trees and shrubs, and if it wasn't for the dim yellow light turned on inside, it would've seemed forgotten.

Like most parts of Oakwell, the greenhouse looked otherworldly. Its door into the round main room wide open, a portal into a different world, perhaps an enchanted forest or the kitchen of a witch.

Quinn hesitated a second before stepping in, like he had to get ready to be sucked into that world, to become a fairy, maybe, or be eaten by one.

Unsurprisingly and unfortunately, he did not get eaten.

Planters lined the glass walls and in the middle of the circle room sat a round planter with a tree in it. Two narrow hallway-like rooms branched off of the main building on both sides.

Quinn's steps lightly echoed off the cobbled floor and high walls as he sat one foot in front of the other, carefully, not wanting to disturb the silence, the magical serenity.

The overgrown exterior had fooled Quinn into believing the inside to be just as deserted looking, yet all plants were carefully and lovingly cared for. Vegetables of all kinds, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, grew next to each other, neatly divided into their own planters, decorated with small wooden signs, self made and painted.

When Quinn circled behind the middle planter, he discovered a bench, which must've been painted white once, now the paint had peeled off, exposing bits of dark wood. Two orange pillows with a faint butterfly pattern were placed on it.

What a tranquil place. Quinn exhaled, like he'd been holding onto that breath for way too long, and sat down. He stared up towards the ceiling made of decorated panels of glass, rays of sunlight falling onto his face.

When was the last time he'd been alone, really alone? Not lonely, he'd never stopped being that since he first got here, but solitude, peace, that's what he'd been craving.

There was always someone around, or the lingering threat of someone coming in, be it Ciel (who, to his dismay, just couldn't escape Quinn), or other faceless students that crowded the halls and classrooms of Oakwell.

But the greenhouse was empty, silent, locked in time.

The ideal place to do some self reflection, to figure out what was going on in his head, because clearly a lot had been going on in there, he just hadn't really given it the time to fully unfold and give itself a name.

Too bad Quinn would've preferred to turn himself into soil than actually think about that, let all of that happen, and risk having feelings too big for his body. So he didn't think about any of that, of course. He just leaned back, the bench let out a quiet creak, and he let the sun tickle down on him through the greenhouse roof.

There was still homework waiting for him.

But the vines and stems and leaves of the plants here had already grown around his arms and legs, binding him to the bench on which he sat, and would sit on for all eternity. Perhaps he'd die here. And then, his dream of turning to soil would become true.

Jesus Christ, he hadn't been here long enough to justify thinking about dying peacefully on a bench. He stretched his arms and legs out, took another deep breath, and reminded himself that he was alive. And he was going to stay alive for a little while longer, whether he wanted that or not.

The noise of slow footsteps brought him back into reality, and Quinn flinched, almost rolling off the bench.

"A visitor," a voice said, one he hadn't yet heard before. A woman's voice, a welcome sound. "Hello there."

"Uh," was all Quinn managed to say, he blinked, his eyes adjusting to the figure in front of him. "Hi."

A woman smiled at him, a thin and long smile, a little tired but no less genuine. Her long fingers held onto a bucket with soil and a small shovel in it, the other one was waving at Quinn.

A brown shawl was draped across her narrow shoulders, its edges embroidered with small flowers and speckled with dirt. All that was really missing was a pointy hat sitting on her chin length grey hair, and it would've completed the look of a kind garden witch.

"Hello," Quinn said again, as though to make up for his awkward first greeting. "Uhm, the door was open. So, I kinda thought that you could just, you know, walk in."

"Oh, you're absolutely welcome to walk in whenever you'd like." She cocked her head, her dark eyes scanning Quinn, and her smile didn't fade. "I've not seen you here before. Let me guess." She closed her eyes, hummed. "Yes, yes. I know, Quinn Harvey, yes?"

"Y-yeah." Quinn straightened his back. "I'm the new guy, the, uh, scholarship student?"

"Yes, they've told me about you." Oh great, had Osborne complained about him even to the spooky gardener lady? "Forgive me, I didn't introduce myself. Edith Ambrosia. I take care of everything you see around you- and everything you don't see, I suppose. Call me Edi, will you?"

Ambrosia was in no way her real name, right? That'd be like Quinn being called Nebula, or Felix being called Handsome or Dev having the last name Mean Judgemental Asshole. Sorry.

"Would you mind if I sat down, Quinn?" Edi nodded towards the bench, and Quinn made a little more space for her.

Quinn had always imagined gardeners to be younger and tougher and very buff, but Edi was none of these things. She was old, maybe as old as the Oakwell Abbey itself, or perhaps just a few years younger, her back was slightly hunched, her body seemed thin underneath her flowy brown work attire.

But the skin on her face was tanned and sun damaged, her rough hands didn't seem weak, the grasp around her utensils firm and steady. She leaned back, let out a gentle sigh.

"It's about time I sit. I'm not the youngest anymore, you see."

"I do see," Quinn answered before the 'don't offend people' filter in his brain even had a chance to activate. He choked on his own voice in an attempt to make whatever he just said unrecognisable, but Edi had very well understood him, and was already answering him with a hearty laugh.

"Well, I'm glad someone is honest with me." Her laugh was warm and gentle and comfortable and Quinn felt a feeling in his chest he'd been pushing away for three years now, so he did the same once more. "There's no need to lie to an old woman, is there? No need to give me the hope I might be young after all, when I know I'm not."

She exhaled again, apparently enjoying her time on this old creaky bench as much as Quinn did.

"How has your time here been? Enjoying Oakwell?"

Quinn nodded quickly, put on a polite smile because he'd already started to internalise that this was his only allowed answer. He then inhaled, set out to say something, and- held his breath. Exhaled again. Closed his mouth.

"Can I be honest?" He wasn't quite sure why it was this random old woman he wanted to be honest with, but he certainly didn't want to be honest with anyone else.

"Of course." Edi closed her eyes, like a preacher taking in the words of a sinner.

"I don't like it here," Quinn said, plain and simple and as clear as he could. "I don't really belong here. I guess. And like, people are making that very obvious."

"Of course you don't belong here," Edi said, her eyes still closed, now letting her bucket of dirt gently drop to the ground, putting her hands on her chest instead. Well, at least she was honest as well. "I can tell you don't. It would be a shame if you did."

"I don't know, I think it'd be kind of great if I did, because I'm supposed to stay here for two more years. Or, like, maybe people could at least pretend like I do belong. For just a while." Quinn shrugged, as he always did when he cared about something a bit too much. "There's been people that treat me like I'm invisible, and worse yet, people that treat me like I'm stupid. Which- I mean, I guess I sometimes am, but-"

"It's not very easy to feel comfortable here if you don't carry a certain energy with you. I wouldn't want you, or anyone else, adapting that energy, you see. Oakwell has never been a particularly positive place. So, when something bright appears, it disrupts the energy here. Before the brightness can spread, it allows the darkness to drown it out. And you cannot let that happen to you, Quinn."

Edi moved her hands away from her heart, opened her eyes again, gave Quinn a gentle pat on his shoulder.

"Woah, alright, I don't know what that means, actually."

"Stay yourself, Quinn. This place needs it."

"I still don't really know-" Quinn pressed his lips together now, then shrugged. "I mean, yeah, sure. I'll try, I wasn't gonna have it any other way to be honest." He absolutely wasn't.

"See, that's very good. I see a lot of light in you, dear. Just because people are blinded now doesn't mean they'll stay blind forever."

"That's a lot of metaphors."

"Not necessarily a metaphor. I do see light. When I close my eyes, I see it. Close yours too. Look at the light." Her eyes closed again, her hand back on her chest, and Quinn furrowed his brows. Sure. He followed Edi's movements.

There wasn't really any light at all. Just a dull grey darkness, and those colourful shapes that couldn't be looked at or chased, structureless and fleeting. But no light. Just the void.

"What am I supposed to see?" Quinn asked into the darkness.

"Yourself. Allow them to show you."

"Allow who?"

No answer came back. And he still wasn't seeing shit. Just a dot somewhere in his vision. Not even a light, just a dot. Perhaps that was him. A rock in space. No planet or star, just a floating rock, a piece of debris waiting to collide with something stronger than him so he could burn and fall to dust.

Maybe somewhere out there, someone had given him a name, a forgettable one like Q-1910 or 134340. And maybe someone had once seen something great in him. Had assumed him to be bigger than he was. But now he was a rock, in a void, waiting for something, maybe nothing. Whatever he was, he certainly wasn't a light.

Quinn opened his eyes again when the void of the universe began weighing on him a little too heavily, only to turn to where Edi had just sat- She wasn't there anymore, of course, because why would she? Why would the spooky gardener lady with a name like Edith Ambrosia announce when she was leaving?

Quinn's hand sank back to his lap, allowing his back to slump into a more comfortable (and more ugly) position to sit in.

He breathed in and out a couple of times, something that was always supposed to ground him, when nothing on this god forsaken planet could ever really be grounding to him in the first place. He was always floating. Sometimes away.

Quinn peeled himself off the bench, stretched his arms out again, then let his hands disappear in his pockets to look a little more nonchalant and less like he'd just seen himself as a rock floating in space.

He snuck around the round planter, now deciding to look at each and every plant he saw growing, because what else was he supposed to do on a Monday evening.

The tomato plants looked nice. Very healthy, well cared for. Quinn remembered, long ago, his mother planting a tomato on their tiny little balcony. It drowned after not even a year. His mother had tried again the following year. It grew well, because Grace was assigned to take care of it, and it outlived his mother.

They didn't have that plant anymore. Grace forgot to water it a single time, so crushed by guilt, she gave it to their neighbours, who's balcony was full of plants their mother had always admired. There hadn't been a plant in their apartment since.

The bell peppers looked nice as well. The plant was green, like everything here was. Quinn used to like green. But everything was green. Everyone in Oakwell was green. Quinn himself was starting to turn green.

"The fuck are you doing here-"

Quinn nearly jumped, rapidly spinning around and bumping his ass into the planter he'd been standing in front of for probably too long, accompanying the bang with a shriek.

"Jesus fucking christ, Dev!" Quinn held his heart, now less in an attempt to see some kind of light and more to avoid him dropping dead on the spot. "Did you need to jumpscare me like that?"

"Why is it my fault that your head's somewhere in the fucking stars?" So there he was, least friendly and most annoying person in all of Oakwell, Dev Mean-Judgemental-Asshole, stood in front of Quinn, his hands in gardening gloves that were way too large. His eyes had narrowed, as they always did when Quinn was in his vicinity.

"What are you doing here anyway?" he asked, scanning Quinn from top to bottom.

"What, am I not allowed to be here? And chill? And look at all the lovely little plants and have a lovely little chat with Edi?"

"You've met Miss Edith?" Something in Dev's face turned bitter, even more bitter than usual, somehow.

"Oh, you're not on cutesy friendly nickname basis with her?" Quinn leaned back against the planters, forcing a grin on his face. Dev bit the inside of his cheek, opened his mouth to say something, only to let out a single breathy chuckle.

He pulled off one of his oversized gloves to brush some strands of dark hair out of his face that stuck to his forehead. He'd been sweating, apparently.

"Actually, what are you doing here? Ciel said you're with the choir usually?"

"What do you think I'm doing?"

"Wearing silly gloves and annoying me?"

Dev rolled his eyes, and really nothing was holding him back from simply turning around and leaving now, except he didn't do that, he stayed, crossed his arms, scanned Quinn through darkened eyes.

"I'm helping Miss Edith. Technically I'm part of the gardening club, except I'm pretty much the only member. I alternate between coming here and playing piano for the choir every Monday." A surprisingly earnest answer.

"Okay, wait, so you're part of the choir, part of the gardening club, you're playing tennis on Saturdays-"

"And on Fridays I'm with the art club. Correct. And then I waste two more hours a week babysitting you. But that is all going to look wonderful on my graduation certificate, you know. Something I care about."

"You must really hate yourself, Dev."

"There's people I hate more, Quinton."

Quinn shrugged, yeah, right. Not much to add to that, wasn't there? He pushed himself away from the planter, buried his hands in his pockets again and looked around, everywhere and nowhere in particular, but certainly not at Dev.

"Shall I leave you alone in your misery, then?"

"There is nearly nothing more miserable than having you around, so yes, please do leave me. I don't understand what you were doing here in the first place."

"Can a student not enjoy the school facilities in peace? I was just exploring, y'know, getting to know Edi- a lovely person, shame she has to put up with a grump like you." Quinn didn't need to be mean right now, but oh had he the urge.

Besides, he was telling the truth, so that already made him less mean, and he was also saying it to Dev, who'd also been mean to him before, so they could basically call it quits. Dev was probably sucking the life energy out of that poor woman by just being near.

Dev rolled his eyes so hard they almost popped out of his skull like big dark marbles, then he cocked his head, staring at Quinn.

"I'm very close to Miss Edith. I've known her for years and have been working with her ever since. Don't pretend like you know people better than I do, or know your way around Oakwell at all. Know your place, Quinton, and be assured it is not here."

"Yikes. Well, Edi actually gave me a little bit of a pep talk, very sweet of her, encouraged me to not be shot down by assholes like you-"

"Leave."

"Damn, okay. No need to bark at me." Quinn raised his hands in defence, taking a couple steps back as though Dev was threatening him, yet put a smile on his face. "See you at tutoring, then."

What a mess. What a fun little mess Dev was, the way his face twisted and darkened and the way his posture changed whenever Quinn grinned at him, like something was cooking inside of him, boiling, and it took him every bit of restraint to not let it spill.

It was a sight that, as of now, tasted sweet. Cathartic, even. A sight that reminded Quinn of James, of his eyes filled with jealousy or something else, Quinn had never really figured out what exactly it was. Something calm and cool and collected threatening to burst.

Quinn turned around, almost satisfied, moved his hand in a sloppy wave. A moth stuck to the windowed door, not moving when Quinn pushed it shut behind him, leaving the animal with Dev inside that greenhouse.

The air outside was crisper and cooler and less comforting. Quinn closed his eyes for just a second, maybe two, and still saw a mere dot in the void.

☆-☆-☆-☆

WC: 3469

hi there, thank you for reading! here we go, a mysterious new character and a little insight into quinn's new favoruite place! oh what things may happen within the magical walls of this greenhouse...?

please remember to vote or comment if you enjoyed this chapter and let me know your thoughts!

and thank you so much for 100 votes already! i've gotten so much support on this story, it means the world to me <3