{37}✔️

Dahlia's POV

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"You need to let me go or I'm going to scream," I growled, trying to twist my body away from her. "This is so not cool."

"I just need you to promise me you won't fucking run away or something, Dahlia, this is important! Look, I haven't talked to you since I told everyone and I...I'm only talking to you now because it's important!"

"Let me the fuck go and I'll give you two minutes!" I yelled. She shushed me and let me go, holding her hands up in surrender. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at her. "What the fuck could be so god damn important that you had to fucking snatch me behind here while I was on my way to lunch? I'm hungry, and I want nothing to do with you!"

"I had to talk to you and I've been wanting to for a while now, but I've been scared...B-Billie is always around and I just—"

"Get to the fucking point."

"I'm sorry about everything! That's all I wanted to say. I know I can never even come close to making it up to you, I know you'll never forgive me, and I know it's selfish of me to be apologizing because obviously I'm only doing it for me because you don't care, but I'm sorry. What I did was beyond wrong, it was sick. Sharing that picture of you with everybody, telling everybody about your private life, having my friends jump you...I'm lucky I'm not in jail right now. I shouldn't have done any of that and I'm so sorry I did."

"Why the fuck did you do it?" I questioned angrily. "You put me through fucking hell all because I didn't wanna date you? Please, please tell me it was deeper than that because if you did all that just because I didn't wanna be your girlfriend I honestly am terrified of you."

"I did it because I'm jealous of you and of Billie. You're both fucking perfect, everyone loves you both...You both have everything I've ever wanted. You've got siblings that love you, you have your dad and she has both her parents, she's fucking rich, you're both gorgeous and funny and cool and...I've always just...I don't fucking know. Nobody really likes me all that much except for my few friends."

"I wonder why." I spat.

"Dahlia, I felt so lucky when I met you. You're so special and I really liked you, and when you agreed to hook up with me I couldn't believe it. I thought you were joking or something or doing it out of sympathy, but then I realized that you were actually into me! Physically at least. Nobody's ever showed me the kind of attention you did. I never had a boyfriend because I never wanted one and I never had a girlfriend because I was scared that whatever girl I liked would judge me or tell people about me...but I never had to worry about that with you. You were so fucking nice to everyone and I just felt like I could trust you, and that's why I asked you to get with me..." She sighed and sat down on the bleachers. I did the same.

"When we were together, you treated me like a queen. I know that it was just sex to you, and I know that we didn't hang out all that much when we weren't having sex, but you always made me feel so special whenever we were together. You were so nice and you would hug me and kiss me and make me feel like I was yours. The way you looked at me, the way you spoke to me, the way you treated me...I started to have deeper feelings for you and I kinda convinced myself that we were together in my head. I knew you didn't feel the same, but I kept telling myself that you would. That it was only a matter of time before you finally officially asked me out...And then Billie came along and suddenly all your attention was on her and she was coming on to you and then all of a sudden, you're telling me that you want her and not me. And in my head, it was like a whole break up and my heart was broken and it sucked because you didn't even care. It was nothing like that for you. It was just you telling me we couldn't fuck anymore and that was that. I couldn't think straight. It literally broke my heart and it made me hate myself and you and I kept questioning why I wasn't enough for you." She wiped away a few tears, sniffled and cleared her throat before continuing.

"None of this was your fault, and that's what sucked even more. The agreement was that we'd be friends with benefits, nothing more, and you made that clear from the beginning, but I was stupid and I convinced myself that we'd be more. I wanted to make you feel as bad as I felt, so I did all the things that I did. I've met this other girl, though, and that's why I'm telling you all this. I really like her, maybe even more than I liked you, and she likes me too. I trust that she won't tell anyone about me, and I'm giving it a shot with her...After I realized I had feelings for her I started thinking about all the shit I did to you and I... I feel like I was fucking possessed or something. Thinking back on all the bullshit I put you through not even a month ago, I just can't believe I'm capable of behaving like that. What I did was evil and I just feel like...I don't know. It wasn't me. It shouldn't have been, at least. I hate myself for everything I did to you and I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to know that."

She stared at me, waiting for a response, and I stared at her as I tried to think of one. I don't know how to feel or what to think. I don't fucking trust her and I don't like her and I don't forgive her. What she did was trash and I've never in my entire life been so down. When she did all that shit to me, I was fucking heartbroken and so sad all the time. I still fucking think about it. The fact that random people I don't even know know so much about me.

"How'd you really know about my past? My mom does not talk about us that much."

She sniffled and looked down, playing with her fingers. "I was there that day. When she came over. I was outside and I heard everything. I was at my uncle's house when she decided she wanted to pay you a visit, and she dragged me along with her. She told me to stay in the car until she called for me, but I had to pee so I got out and I was gonna ask to use the bathroom but before I could knock I heard you guys shouting...She ended up telling me more in the car too."

I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded. "How long did you plan for those girls to jump me?"

"It was a last minute thing. After what Billie did, I was so fucking mad. Billie's tough, so I didn't have the balls to do anything to her...but when you told me you wanted to meet with me, I knew that was my chance to get to you without her or anyone else around. I asked my friends to help me because I knew I wasn't strong enough to do any real damage to you. I didn't want them to be so brutal, honestly. I wanted them to throw a couple of punches and leave it, but they got carried away. I asked them to stop and they just kept going and going. I got overwhelmed after a few minutes and walked away, and I don't even know how much longer they were there for, beating on you..."

"Me either. I was unconscious," I grumbled. "If you were so upset by that then how come you sent them to attack me a second time? And with fucking tasers!"

She side-eyed me and shook her head. "What? No, I didn't tell them to attack you twice."

"I...I was at the park, it was late, and they showed up..."

"What the fuck?" She gasped. "I didn't tell them to do that! I didn't know they had tasers!"

"I guess those bitches really did get carried away. I guess they liked the first plate so much that they decided to come back for a second serving." I chuckled bitterly.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know they had it in them, I just figured they'd rough you up a little and then let it be!"

"Kai, I can't believe you'd let them do that to me. I'd never send anyone after you like that no matter what—"

"Oh come on, don't act like you didn't send Billie after me too. She literally cut me! At least they didn't have knives." She huffed, pointing at the large scar on her face. I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head at her. "What? Billie wouldn't do that. You're lying."

"I'm not lying, ask her! She showed up at the movie theater I was at and threatened me. She did this! She told me she was gonna beat me up the next time she saw me too. That's why I've been practically hiding during our classes and trying to avoid her. I'm legitimately scared she's gonna kill me, but I can't go to the police."

She's gotta be lying right? Billie wouldn't have cut her like that, not for me. Not for anyone, if she's got any common fucking sense. I know she told me about how she used to be...She told me about how she'd stabbed a girl too, but that was all behind her. Right? She's not out here cutting people.

"Look, I don't care about any of that anymore, okay? I don't want any trouble with you or with Billie. I'm sorry about every single thing that happened. I'm sorry things turned out like this. I hope one day we can be normal with each other, whatever that is, but I understand why that'll probably never happen. I've been terrible."

Yes, she fucking has. I have every intention to get my revenge, I still just don't know how. I'll do it though. I don't give a shit how much she apologizes or how much time goes by. One of these days I'm gonna get her.

"Things won't ever be the same, but I appreciate you for apologizing. We can just put this all behind us the best we can." I lied, smiling at her.

She grinned and nodded. "Okay! Can I hug you?"

"Of course!"

I rolled my eyes as I patted her back while we hugged, her talking about how thankful she was that I was so nice the whole time we hugged. If only she knew.

Mondays are always ass, and this whole conversation was just proof of that.