Chapter Twenty-Two

Celina

“Are you insane,” I hiss while I quickly cover her mouth. “He has lycan hearing.”

“You’re not helping your case,” Chris calls through the door. “What do you girls want for dinner?”

“Quit eavesdropping,” I direct toward him while I keep my eyes locked with Jenna’s.

He opens the door and peeks his cute little head in. Cute? What is wrong with me? “It’s not eavesdropping if you yell it.”

“And it’s not murder if you fall on the knife,” I say as I glare at him.

He rolls his eyes. “What do you two want to eat?”

“Chinese,” Jenna answers when she rips my hand off her face. She looks at me, “Stop being distracted and give me the details.”

“Rice or Chow Mein?” Chris asks while I feel his eyes on me.

“Get out!” Jenna yells at him, throwing a pillow to make him move and close the door. “You’re sleeping together,” she demands from me.

I give a small laugh as I shake my head. “No, not yet. That’s why I was asking you for advice.”

“On what? Sleeping,” she questions; looking at me as if I’m a virgin once more. “You just lay next to him and go to sleep.”

I push the hair from my face. I hate that I have to be more specific. It makes me feel so inexperienced. “Okay, how do I keep my hands to myself?”

Her face folds and looks at me like I’m insane. “Why would you want to? He’s a prince and he’s fucking gorgeous.”

“I don’t know,” I sigh as I fold my arms. “Normally I’d be fine to grind on him until one of us quits, but Mara is mated to his beast. I owe it to her to at least see if he’s boyfriend material, and possibly be my mate.”

She looks me over. “You really don’t feel it? The mate bond I mean.”

I shake my head. “I have no desire to be near him at all times. I don’t want to constantly please him. Nor do I care what he thinks. I’m majorly attracted to him, however, but that could just be Mara. We share the same body and are more in sync than most wolves or lycans. So far, I just think of him as a friend. A really hot friend who I’d love to have some benefits with; but I can’t have that kind of relationship and keep up with my studies at the same time.”

Jenna gives me a doubtful look. “I sincerely doubt you two haven’t done anything. Your emotional wall went up super high when he came in here. You only get that hostile with jerks, or someone you’re trying to protect yourself from.”

I drop my head and give a hard sigh before looking at her. “Okay fine. I walked in on him changing, saw his monster shlong, and we made out where he fingered me in the hallway. It would have gone further if my brother hadn’t walked in.”

Her eyes widen as she squeals. “Was he really that big?”

I lock eyes with her. “I could climb it.”

“So like a foot?”

I shake my head. “Maybe when it’s hard, but he’s bigger than Declan, that’s for sure.”

“Holy goddess that’s insane.” She then starts laughing, “Cel you’re screwed. It’s only a matter of time before you let him screw you.”

I groan. “I know. I just want to take it slow though. You know, get to know the man who I might be permanently linked to for the rest of my life.”

“Why can’t you do both?”

“Because I’ll prioritize sex over our relationship like I always do. I won’t push myself to get to know him better. I’ve never tried to even think about a relationship since I killed my mate. Relationships were always just for fun for me. Once they got too clingy or possessive I was out. You know this. So I need to be the opposite of what I usually am this time around.”

“So you’re trying not to be a bed-hopping trollop and become girlfriend material?”

“Yes!” I tell her, finally happy she’s getting it.

“Then what the hell were you and Declan doing? You two were dating for a while.”

I groan and rub my face. “Dating. I told him I’d try it, but I don’t feel that kind of a connection with him and didn’t think I ever would. He said he was fine with it. And he was. Right up until the day he proposed.”

“That’s where you fucked up,” Jenna shakes her head. “Did he show any signs that he was thinking about wanting to mark you?”

“No,” I answer honestly as I stand. I walk to the window wall and stare at the mountain range while I keep going. “We were doing great. I had been studying a ton, and he was on so many business trips that we rarely saw each other. I’d catch whiffs of other girls scents on him, and it didn’t bother me. We weren’t exclusive, which was something I insisted on. He was even starting to grow distant, so I thought he was growing tired of our little agreement.

“Then, when I had just gotten back from one of my classes, I opened the apartment door to find my apartment filled with roses and daisies. I honestly thought I walked into the wrong apartment for a minute. Then I walked in. He dimmed the lights and started playing the song that was playing when we first met. He walked into the room in a tux and held his hand out to me, asking me to accept him as my chosen mate. He pledged his loyalty and promised me absolute fidelity, and I’d wake to fresh roses every day for the rest of my life. All I had to do was say yes to him.”

“That sounds like an absolute dream,” Jenna sighs wistfully.

“It was,” I agree; remembering how beautiful it all looked. It even took my breath away. “Except I don’t like roses.”

That takes her off guard. “I’ve seen roses in your room.”

“They’re only there when gifted. I don’t mind them as a gift, but I’d never buy them. They’re cliché and overused in my opinion.”

“So why is it so important now?”

“When he promised me roses every day, Jenna; that’s when I realized how little time we’ve spent together, and how much I didn’t know about him; and how little he knew me. I truly can’t recall a meaningful conversation between the two of us. He wanted to permanently bind himself to me, and we hadn’t even discussed kids or even what I was studying. We only talked about the little stuff. Our families. How our day is going. What our favorite things are. What our least favorite things are. The basics.”

“And he still got you roses,” Jenna asks, sounding confused.

I shake my head. “No. When I realized that I also realized that he’s not someone I can see myself with on the day that I die. In fact, he was someone that I didn’t even want to see on my last day on Earth. It just wasn’t him.”

I look over my shoulder to look at her. “And his behavior is proof that I dodged a bullet with him.”

Jenna sighs, “So because you hate roses, you dumped Declan?”

I turn to face her. “If that’s the way you want to see it.”

Her face twists in her confusion, “So, essentially, you don’t want Chris to give you roses?”

I sit on the bed next to her once more. “No. What I’m saying is I want to get to know him. I didn’t do that with Declan, and I don’t want to make that mistake with Chris.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re making this way more complicated than it needs to be.”

“You do know that if I accept him, or reject him, will have vastly different outcomes. Neither one is ideal, and not easily undone. So it has to be something I can live with in the long run.”

“Why can’t you just have a normal dating life?” Jenna asks, nudging me playfully. “I still think you’re okay to fool around with each other. Just make sure you make an effort to get to know him.”

A knock comes on the door, interrupting my answer. “Dinner,” Xander yells with what sounds like his mouth full.

I roll my eyes. “We better get something before he eats it all.”

After eating, I decided to go back to my room to shower. After I reluctantly let Chris smell my shampoo, and thoroughly inspect my shower, I finally have enough and kick him out. I have a six-in-the-morning class tomorrow, so I refuse to stay up late tonight. Also, if I go to bed before Chris gets in here, then I can’t jump him. Right?

I put on a long T-shirt after I get out of the shower and dry my hair. I grab a textbook off my dresser once I get into my room and plop onto the bed. The second I’m in my bed, there is a knock on my door.

“You know, it’s creepy that you’re listening for me,” I call in way of an answer.

“Would you prefer that I stayed in the room?”

“I changed in the bathroom,” I tell him as I plop a couple of pillows next to me; creating the promised pillow wall.

He comes over and sits next to me. “What are you reading?”

“Socioeconomics. I have that class at six tomorrow morning. Then I have another class at eight for business management, and my final class at ten for psychology.”

He looks at me like I’m insane. “Why so many classes?”

“So I can have the next two days free to study before the weekend.” I return my attention to my textbook when he takes his shirt off. My wolf is starting to stir while I try to keep my head on my studies.

Chris sits next to me. “That still sounds like a lot of work. Are you prepared for your finals?”

I snort, “Goddess no. I’m pretty sure I’m screwed.”

“Do you need help?”

I cock my head as I think about it. “Do you know anything about this,” I ask as I hold up the book.

He shakes his head. “No, but I can bring you coffee and rub your shoulders, and cheer you on.”

I laugh as a warm bubbling feeling settles in my stomach. “I’d appreciate the moral support. You’re one of the few that does.”

That takes him by surprise. “Not many approve that you’re getting a degree?”

I shake my head. “It was a fight for me to even go to school. One of the compromises I made was learning everything a world leader of beasts should know.” I motion to the large shelves of books I have. “I’ve been studying those on top of keeping up with my classes.”

His eyes widen. “That’s insane. Why would you do that?”

“I consider it a worthwhile price for some freedom. With this degree, they’ll be forced to allow me to travel across the globe to help build packs worldwide.”

“More than just packs. Anyone really.” He studies me for a minute, gauging how tired I am. “You hate this field of study though. I can see it. You have no passion for it.”

I laugh. “You’re very perceptive. I honestly hate engineering and architecture. I do like interior design though. However, with engineering and architecture, I get to go wherever I want, and the council will have little to no say. For that alone, it’s worth it.”

Chris turns to fully face me. “In that case, I’ll do whatever I can to help you get what you want. Starting with closing your textbook and telling you to go to bed. I’ll drive you to school so you can fit in some extra studying time.”

My eyes widen as my chest warms before giving him a whole-hearted smile. “I think I can allow that.” I hand him my book before laying down.

Chris pulls the covers over us after he turns off the light. The second the lights go out, I’m hyperaware of this man. Every breath he takes warms my body, while each beat of his heart sends sparks through me. My entire body is begging for his touch so much that it hurts. I put my hand between my legs and squeeze it hard, trying to dull my lustful ache. Looks like I’m not getting any sleep tonight.