chapter 59

His silence was killing me, my heart started beating like it was running in a marathon. My hands automatically fell from his face when I couldn't decipher the look of his eyes.I needed to be strong, I couldn't cry again and again like a crying baby so my mind fought with the tears and my heart..., my heart was feeling scared of losing him.Â"You don't love me, right?" I asked again. "Why are you quiet? Say something!" My eyes still wanted to hold the hope of getting everything like before.Â"Can I ask you something?"ÂJesus! He finally spoke but didn't answer my question, he returned the question to me. All I wanted to hear were the three pure words in his sweet voice but I got what…? The question!ÂI didn't say anything, I just nodded and he came closer to me, "why didn't you tell me that he was your brother?" He held my hands and expected an honest answer from me.My subconscious mind was telling me to say everything honestly because silence had almost killed my beautiful relationship with him, it wasn't completely my fault either. If I would have told him that time, then things wouldn't have gone that far."Please, tell me honestly what you were thinking at that time!" He pleaded with his guilty eyes and I stopped thinking about what I should do!If that's what he wanted, I will tell him everything on the square. "The first thing that came into my mind was that you don't trust me at all. If you would have trusted me, you wouldn't have reacted like that. I was just hugging my brother, you didn't find your girlfriend kissing a man, right? But you were acting as if you found me in an embarrassing situation and everything was clear to you that I cheated on you," I closed my eyes to control the anger, his words echoed in my mind and I felt so gross."How could you judge me that way? I have always been honest and real with you, our relationship was different, nothing was hidden or secret between us. If I would love any other guy, why would I be with you? I told you that you are the first person whom I liked since Icame into existence but still, you forgot all my words and misunderstood me." I just kept telling him everything that came into my mind at that time.He stroked my hand with his thumb but didn't release the hold on my hands.Â"To be honest, I was hating myself for loving a person like you. I never expected those ridiculous words from you, the way you were smirking and accusing me of cheating on you broke my heart into pieces. I regretted the moment when I kissed you and started dating you, I cursed myself for loving you."ÂHe quickly replied, "but you never told me that you love me.""Because I was not able to share my feelings and all. You know it's not easy for me to tell you everything, I had no friends and I'm so different. I'm not like other girls who have watched rom-com movies and have read plenty of romance novels. Neither did I have a lot of friends so I could get to know how people act when they fall in love! I never thought of falling in love, my world was different, the syllabus books were the only books I read and being a doctor was my only purpose in life."ÂI sighed in relaxation, I was holding too much inside me but I felt relieved while telling him the truth, "I've lived my life alone, there was no one to give me company when I wanted to share something so I just grew up like this, handling everything by myself and holding everything inside my mind and heart." My mind lost the battle and a solemn teardrop fell from my eyes.The fucking tears couldn't resist it, they wanted me to feel weak when I needed to be strong. I hated crying in front of anyone, I preferred crying alone more. That's why I sat on that bench and let all the sadness flow beneath the tears!He instantly wiped it off and kissed my eyes one by one, "thank you for letting me be in your life! I promise you that I'll never make you feel alone until I die." He again held my hand, "please, continue! I want to listen to every single word from you that you were keeping to yourself only."His words gave me more strength to fight back with the flood of my eyes.I smiled, "when I got Fiona, I felt so good and happy to have a friend like her. She never makes me feel alone, she was with me every time whenever I needed a friend. And I'm sure that she'll be tensed for me when she'll find out what happened in the garden. She is a selfless girl and being with her makes me feel happy. I still wonder, what would have happened if she wouldn't be there to encourage me and support me, she is the one who told me that I was in love because I didn't realise that I was in love.""For me, love was an unfounded treasure, Fiona helped me a lot when I was confused with my feelings for you. The day when Theo encouraged us to confess our feelings, I felt like If it's not now, maybe it'll be never! I was the girl who initiated the first kiss, you can't even imagine how insecure and shy girls feel when they start the kiss but I...I just thought about you and kissed you." The blush spread all over my face."I was feeling so grateful to have you in my life. I even went to the church today and showed my gratitude to God!" He looked at me in teasing, "and what did you pray?"ÂI lowered my head to hide my blushing face, "I'm not gonna tell you that," I grinned and peeked at him."But I want to know, please!" He asked me with his naif eyes.ÂWell, that worked for me!ÂHis innocent face makes me do anything he wants me to do."I prayed for us, to have a happily ever after just like the novels give a couple! And for…" before I could tell him further that I prayed for my dream, his hands were circled on my waist and my head was shoved to his chest.Â"Thank you so much, Lia! I can't tell you how happy I'm to have you as my girlfriend," his fingers tangled with my hair, "I can tell the world that I've got the love of my life and I'm the luckiest man on the earth." He shouted like a maniac.I shushed him, "we are on the road."Â"Since when did we start caring about the world?" He chuckled and so did I. "But you still didn't tell me why were you silent at that time?Why didn't you tell me that he was Ben?""I was feeling devastated, and I thought if you have doubted me, it means you never knew me, you never loved me and I never give an explanation to anyone. I don't care what people think of me but it was different for you. When you accused me of being a cheater, I felt like you never trusted me and if you can't believe me, I can't make you believe anything.""You know, your eyes were clearly telling me what you were thinking that time so I got it and remained silent."He kissed my forehead, "I'm so sorry for being an asshole to you! I could behave better but the anger overtook my heart and mind, I was blinded by the anger. Still, I accept that being angry shouldn't be an excuse for that behaviour. I made a mistake but...um, can you...give me a second chance?" His eyes fluttered with perplexion.Hey lovely readers! How are you guys?Did you like the chapter?How was it?Please, let me know in the comments!ðŸ˜​Guys, there are so many surprises on your way! â¤ðŸŒ​ ​Keep loving! Keep supporting!Guys three awards in first...Young adult, Series, Tragedy - First!ðŸ˜ðŸ˜˜​Follow to get more updates!â¤​Lots of love,From Jasmine