Chapter Thirty- One

My house was empty Saturday morning when I heard a knock on the door. I was confused, nobody was supposed to be here. Ashley was over Darrell's house, my parents were at a church fundraiser, and Brielle stayed the night at a friend's house.

I walked over to the door, not bothering to fix my hair or change into better clothing. It's a good chance it's Brielle who just forgot her key.

I opened the door, almost dropping the phone in my hand. My mouth gaped open at the sight of the boy who I haven't seen in nearly forty days.

Jace was at my front door

Jace drove through my neighborhood

Jace saw my house

Jace looked absolutely horrible. His shirt was rumpled and the bags under his eyes more pronounced than ever. He was wearing unmatched socks, entirely out of character for him. Jace hated when socks didn't match, he thought it was unprofessional. The thought almost made me laugh.

I stood there watching him, still having trouble grasping the fact that he's here. His jaw ticked, eyes darting over my body, and the lip was drawn in a straight line. His face was void of emotion, a blank canvas.

While I stood here exposed. Everything I was feeling was on full display.

Jace spoke, breaking me out of my thoughts. "The day you left you told me that you would come back. You promised me that I would see you next week," He sounded like a stranger. "I waited for you. Trusted that you'd keep your world. But you didn't.

"You said you'd always be there for me... so how did this happen?" I stared into his eyes, searching for a trace of the boy who I once knew, but he wasn't there. I broke him. "Why weren't you there?"

"Jace-"

He ignored me. I moved to the side, letting him in the house. It was too late, whatever he thought about me wasn't going to change. He'd already seen everything I tried to hide.

Jace walked further into the house, examining every surface, wall, analyzing my whole life. And judging me. The way I lived. The green walls with chipped paint. The raggedy couch that my father's had since the 90s. It's so different from everything he comes from. Different from what I want to be.

I followed him into the living room, focusing on the back of his Adidas slides. Jace abruptly stopped in front of my tv where Pocahantas was playing.

"For the past month I've been trying to answer the same question," My heart was beating out of my chest as I watched him clench and unclench his fists, staring at the tv. "Over and over again I've asked myself the same question for years to my parents, my brother, and now you: what did I do?

"How was it so easy for you to walk away from me?"

"It wasn't easy Jace! What part of this would you think could ever be easy?" I cried. "I did this for you. Everything that I did was for you so I could be a part of your world!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I went to that stupid family dinner, remember?" His eyes widened. "When you and your whole family bashed everything I held dear."

"Are you fucking serious?" Jace hissed. "You were lying for weeks at that point. Let's face it. You did this for you!"

"I was protecting you! You should be thanking me," he scoffed. "I would've gotten destroyed at that dinner and you know it!"

"That's not fair and you know it!" he shot back. "You can't blame me for who my family is and don't act all innocent you concocted this whole plan before that bullshit dinner!"

"Because I knew who you were as soon as I saw you. I took one look and saw exactly what I needed."

"So you just wrote me off then?" He said. "You didn't even give me a chance to be different." I bit my lip focusing on my bare feet.

"Unbelievable," He scoffed. "I need to go." He walked past me towards the door, but I wasn't done yet. I placed a hand on his chest, halting his movement.

"If you're mad at me over this then you just proved me right." I gestured around the house. He looked away from me, seeming to ignore everything I just said. He ran a hand through his disheveled hair and let out a humorless laugh.

"I was so fucking stupid," he sighed. "I tried, I really did to forget you. To move on. I wanted answers that I was never going to get, it's not like I could show up at your house or school because I didn't know where those were," His words stung. "I went to every place I'd been with you. I went to Barnes and Noble every Friday waiting for you, I asked Missy about you. I was trying so hard to find the girl who made it her mission to not be found.

"I just couldn't accept the fact that you were gone and I could never tell you what I'd been planning to say that day at the zoo or in my game room when you went on your love is dead spiel."

"What-" I was confused, I didn't know he had been trying to tell me something.

"Did you picture it?"

"Picture what?"

"Because I did. All I do every day is think about you. About your soft hair and your smooth skin. I think about running my hands down your waist and holding you forever-"

"Stop!" I demanded.

"I wanted to prove you wrong. I wanted to be everything you ever wanted."

I shake my head, trying to push his words out of my mind. He can't be doing this right now. We were friends, those words weren't meant for friends.

"You don't mean that," I begged him to take his words back. He didn't mean that. I wasn't the girl he wanted. I didn't want to be that girl. He deserved the world and that was something I couldn't give him.

I was never supposed to be the girl that Jace Kingston wanted.

"But I do. I want you so bad it kills me. And I've been driving myself crazy thinking that it's my fault. I missed the window and you'll never know how I truly feel about you," He said, laying his heart on the line for the world to see. But the world isn't seeing it. It's just me. And it's scary. "But then Destiny came to my house this morning and told me everything. She told me how the girl I'd fallen helplessly in love with was playing me for a fool."

No, she didn't. Destiny wouldn't do that, we may be in a bad place, but she knew how much Jace meant to me. She cared about me, we were best friends for three years. Besides Jasper told him weeks ago.

Didn't he?

"They all thought I was crazy for trusting a girl whose house I'd never seen. Jasper warned me and I ignored him. I defended you while you sat back and watched the show-"

"That's not true-"

"But isn't it?" He interrupts. "You never gave two shits about me."

"I cared about you. Jace, you have to know that!"

The anger burns in his eyes. I've never seen him like this before. He was light. Made up of all the good in the world. Now, I don't know what he is. And it's all my fault.

"This is exactly why I didn't tell you!" The anger I've been suppressing, bubbling up to the surface. "I knew you would hate this! Hate me because I didn't fit into your perfect fucking rich boy life! I'm so sorry that I didn't fit your description of the rich girl that you wanted!" I screamed.

"Scarlett, don't you get it?" He urged. "I never asked you to be perfect. I just asked you to be honest."

That's worse than screaming when you're so angry. Your voice has grown hoarse. Sick of screaming your lungs out. So tired of fighting that you decide that you're done. About to give in. Throw in the white towel. Already giving up on us.

"Don't act all high and mighty, now. You saw what you wanted to see. If you paid attention, if your head wasn't so far up your ass then maybe you would've noticed." I snapped.

"No, I saw what you told me!" He raised his volume to match mine. "BECAUSE NO SANE PERSON LIES ABOUT SOMETHING AS STUPID AS A FUCKING ZIP CODE!" I was prepared to fight back but the words dyed on my lips.

"I don't care about this. I care about the fact that you lied to my face, to my friends, to my family for three months. Wait I forgot-" he pauses and at the most untimely situation he laughs. A laugh that was devoid of any humor. "You told fucking Jasper."

"I didn't tell Jasper."

"I really don't fucking care," He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "The fact is you didn't tell me. I trusted you with everything and you-" I could tell he was struggling to hold himself together much like me. I wanted nothing more than to see the bright smile return to his face. I wanted to be the reason that smile is there. Now there's a frown, I'm afraid is reserved permanently for me.

"Do you regret it?" He asked, abruptly so quick that I almost didn't hear him.

"What?" I faltered.

"If we reversed time and went back to the night in my kitchen when Carter asked where you went to school, would you have told the truth?"

Would I? If I had a chance to make it right, would I take it? Every part of me is itching to say yes, but I know there's a bigger part, the rational part that knows the truth.

"No."

Because I would do this whole thing over again if I didn't have to let Jace into my world.

"Okay." His voice monotone.

I wish I could give him the answer that he wanted but I couldn't. I would lie to him a million times before I had to bring him here. Those months with Jace were the best three months of my life. And if I told him the truth that night then I know for a fact that I wouldn't have ever seen him again.

Because my life doesn't fit with his. We are two puzzle pieces that got mixed up in a box that we aren't even supposed to be in. I was pushing my luck thinking that we could last this long. Now it's time to get over him and move on. I indulged in his fantasy world for a little while but reality always tends to get in the way.

This chapter of my life is finished. It was the universe's way of dangling everything I ever wanted in my face before snatching it away and saying you can't have it. And I wasn't one to argue with the universe.

But that doesn't mean that I wasn't pissed. "So, that's it then, huh," he paused halfway to his car. "The last three months meant nothing. You hate me now?"

"I wish..." He started. "I wish I could hate you. It would be so much easier to have hate coursing through my veins instead of love. It would be so much easier if every word you said didn't break my heart into a million pieces.

"So no Scarlett I don't hate you. I'm utterly helplessly irrevocably in love with you. And I hate myself for it."

In the long run, it doesn't matter how much my chest hurts as I watched him get into his car and drive away. It didn't matter that Jace Matthew Kingston basically professed his love to me. Because I let him walk away.

And I don't regret a damn thing.

Because I knew from the depths of my soul that he was never mine. It was never supposed to be us. Just me and him. Living on two separate planets and the only thing that connected us was the line of friendship.

But then five minutes ago he walked out of that door and out of my life forever. His heartbreak shown clear as day will forever be etched into my brain. All because he broke the friendship line and replaced it with a word he didn't mean. Love.

And I knew he was never mine.

But losing him broke my heart.