Chapter Twenty- Four

There was darkness. Before it was light.

But that night, there was no light to be found.

Jace was kind. Caring. He refused to kill the ant that was on the kitchen counter just carried it in his hand and let him out on the grass.

But tonight, I didn't see that.

Jace Kingston. Mr. Perfect. Mr. Bottled Up Emotions. Finally snapped.

I watched as his fist connected with Jasper's cheek sending him crashing into the wall. Jasper was quick to react as he lunged at Jace and they toppled on to the ground, sending blows to each other where they knew it would hurt the most.

I remember screaming and I saw their mother in the window. She didn't spare them a second glance. Just let them duke it out on the grass as blood rushed from Jace's nose. Jasper was better skilled at fighting but Jace was stronger.

After watching them, I realized nobody was going to come help me so I had to help myself. I acted calm as I saw the blood dripping from Jace's nose onto his once white t-shirt, but in reality... I was scared shitless

I've witnessed countless fights. It's a daily lunch ritual for somebody to piss somebody off by accident or on purpose and it ends in fists and blood becoming a permanent stain on the cafeteria floor. It was an integral part of high school. Some people like Destiny ran to the scene to record or rave about whoever they hoped would win and others like me were perfectly content waiting for the video to surface on Instagram an hour later.

But this time felt different. All I wanted to do was protect Jace from Jasper's rage, hug him until all his anger faded away. I wanted to save him. Be his hero, but I learned a long time ago that I wasn't the hero type. That didn't mean I wasn't going to try.

I ran to Jace's defense and yanked his shoulder back, trying to get him off. He didn't budge, just stayed on top of Jasper sending jabs to his stomach. Jasper got the upper hand and somehow rolled on top of him and pushed me, sending me falling to the ground beside them.

"TAKE IT BACK!" Jace roared, capturing Jasper's arms and pinning him to the ground. The latter knees him in the stomach and Jace loses his grip and Jasper sends another punch to his cheek.

"What can't handle the truth!" Jasper grunts. Jasper stands up, ready to deliver the next. I stand up, regaining my balance and lunge in front of Jasper. His first stops in what seems like slow motion, inches away from my face.

"GET OUT THE WAY!" He was seething, chest moving rapidly up and down.

"No, not until you promise to stop this!" I pleaded.

"Jace if you don't get your bitch-" He didn't get to finish his sentence before Jace shoved him to the ground.

"Don't call her that." He spoke, quietly. Jace grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house, leaving Jasper outside.

"DON'T GET MAD WHEN YOUR FANTASY DOESN'T TURN OUT LIKE HOW YOU THOUGHT!" Jasper yells through the glass door. I cringe, knowing damn well he's talking about me. Jace is quiet as he leads me upstairs to his room.

"I'm sorry about that." We are sitting in his larger than hotel-sized bathroom. I'm sitting crossed legged on the toilet as he patches himself up. He's shirtless and my eyes couldn't leave the bruises along his stomach and ribs. Jace tried to stay strong for me but he winced whenever he moved.

"What happened back there?" He tried to shake his head but stopped as the pain ached through his skull. "Jace, I know you. He said something and if you want me to stay here... I need you to tell me the truth."

He set the ointment and the bandages down and slid down the wall until he hit the floor. His long legs splayed out before him. I got up from my seat and sat against the wall across from him. Jace's feet touched mine and I looked up to see his eyes closed, silent tears sliding down his face.

I moved over, feeling awkward just watching him. I moved until our sides were pressed against each other like the hammock earlier.

"W-why don't they love me?" He choked out.

"Jace, they love you. They're your family." He shakes his head, ignoring the pain.

"No, no, no. It's me. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing. I promise you're everything."

"They've never accepted me. Cared about me. My dad's okay, but he's her puppet. That evil bitch that turned my own twin brother against me." I flinched when he said bitch. I can't blame him though his mother is a bitch.

"She doesn't matter. She's not here. It's just you and me." I whispered, trying to ingrain some part of what I said into his brain. I've been trying to tell him since the baseball game that he shouldn't seek validation from other people. "I'm here and I love you."

Jace's head turns to me as soon as I utter the cursed words.

"Love?" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you're my best friend." I muster up a dorky grin, wishing that I could erase his memory of me ever uttering that word.

"Oh, then I love you too." I nodded. He stopped crying during my slip up, leaving his eyes puffy. I snatched an unopened box of Kleenex off the counter and shoved a few into his hand.

"You look like shit." He burst out in laughter. His chest rumbling, but pain showing all over his face.

"It's been so long and I thought it would've gotten easier, but it hasn't," His laughter died down, a wave of sadness washing over us. "And I keep thinking about what you said at the game. The validation thing." I nodded, happy that he remembered what I said. "You're right."

"Aren't I always?"

"No, you're almost always wrong. Remember when I put you in charge of making cookies while I was in the shower last week?" I shake my head, cheeks red as I lied.

I remembered when he left and I left the cookies in the oven too long and they were hard as bricks. We ended up pelting Carter and the boys with them when they came last week for a Disney movie marathon. My idea of course because they claimed Disney movies were for little girls. They were the first to shut their mouths when we couldn't get through half of Zootopia without Carter crying. The others followed shortly after, while Jace and I watched in amusement.

"I look disgusting," Jace muttered, staring at himself through the reflection on the floor. His hair was matted to his forehead from the sweat and dried blood was in random parts around his body. His glasses were discarded to the side of the sink, showing his red eyes and bags.

"I already said that," he cracked a tiny smile. I stood up, stretching, my shirt riding up revealing stomach fat that I decided not to be self-conscious of for once in my life. "Go shower, loser!"

"I'm sorry to ask you this and I know you don't want to but- do you maybe want to-" He stammered.

"Jace, spit it out!"

"Doyouwanttostaythenight?" His words were so rushed, I couldn't understand him.

"Do- you- want- to- spend- the- night?" My brain processed the words and my mind flew to my phone.

My mother.

The call before the fight. I pushed past Jace and ran to retrieve my phone. I flew myself on to the bed and SHIT! I was supposed to be home an hour ago. I had twenty- seven missed calls from my mother, twenty- one from my father, and none from Brielle- no shocker there.

I called my mother, praying to her god that she won't choke me as soon as I step foot through that front door. It only rings once before she picks up the phone.

"Hey mom, sorry I'm not home, but I'm staying the night over a friends house-"

"SCARLETT!" Her rage showed in her voice.

"I'm safe, be home tomorrow. Call you in the morning. Won't make it to church."

"GROUNDED!"

"I love you forever. Good night, mommy."

"I SWEAR-" I hang up the phone before I hear the end of her sentence. A black mother's wrath is something I can't deal with right now. I know she'll kill me tomorrow, curse me to hell, but my friend needs me tonight.

I was reading the book that Jace recommended to me yesterday, ignoring the guilt gnawing at my insides when Jace walked out. His curls flattened on his head from the water. He was wearing a Sam Smith shirt and basketball shorts. He slid into bed beside me and rested his head on my shoulder.

"What did your parents say?" I forced a small smile.

"They were totally cool with it," I lied through my straight teeth. I sat the book down on the bedside table and stood up. "Can I borrow a shirt?" Heat rises to my cheeks as I think about all the girls in all the books borrowing their boyfriend's shirt. I always thought it was weird and much preferred wearing a boyfriend's hoodie than a shirt, not that I'd ever had the opportunity.

"Sure," But here I was in Jace's bedroom about to spend the night over a guy's house for the first time and it's not even with a boyfriend. "First drawer on the left." He gestured to his dresser and I opened it, revealing neat rows of perfect folded t-shirts. I picked the first one I saw which was an Adventure Time shirt, that I remembered him saying was his favorite.

I changed in the bathroom, throwing my dress to the side and pinning my hair up with the bobby pins I keep on me for emergencies. The shirt swallows me whole, reaching past my knees and is admittedly very comfortable. I feel protected, safe like nothing in the world could hurt me.

It might also help that it smells like Jace, mints, and freshly cut grass.

I came out of the bathroom humming Something There by Beauty and the Beast. Jace was wearing his glasses and staring down at his phone. He shoved in under the cover when he noticed me, a smile playing at his lips.

"I miss your hair." He whines when I reclaim my spot next to him.

"You don't like it like this?" I frowned. He better like it, I did it for him.

"No! You look great all the time, but I miss running my fingers through your hair." I snorted. I couldn't get a comb through it but he can rack his hand through, please.

"It'll be back soon, don't worry." He shifted on the bed, groaning.

I offered to grab him an ice pack from the freezer. He put a thumbs up and I made my way. The hallways were clear as I made my way downstairs, but all hopes of peace were crushed when I found Jasper lounging on the couch. He had an ice pack held against his cheek as a Marvel movie played in the background.

He looked up and caught my eye, a small smirk forming on his face.

"What are doing here, princess?" I kept walking, even got through the kitchen doors before he grabbed my arm and yanked me back. I pushed him off me, pain pulsing through my arm.

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

"Listen to me, that bitch up there is going to get his little heartbroken by you and it's my job to make sure that he knows what a gold-digging bitch you really are." I flinched at his words.

"Since when do you give a shit about Jace?" I challenged, getting up in his face. "You just beat him to the ground. He thinks you hate him and now you're going around being a hero!"

"He started that fight, not me. And you should learn to shut your mouth before jumping to conclusions. You don't know shit about me so stop pretending that you do," He hissed, spit flying on to my cheek. I wiped it away, standing my ground.

" I know that you left Jace. You hate him-"

"I don't hate Jace." I ignored him and continued.

"You treat him like shit, I see it. I see him close up every time you so much as breathe,"

He doesn't refute my statements. "I see the snide comments you make, knowing that it breaks him down a little more every time."

"Do you know how badly you ruined him?" He didn't answer and I wasn't expecting him. Jasper knows what he did. "So don't talk to me about breaking his heart. It's already broken." His face was impassive, but I know I struck a nerve.

He didn't follow me this time. But he wasn't about to let me have the last word.

"Your days around here are numbered, princess. You better enjoy this as long as you can! It's over!"

When I came to pack, ice pack in hand, Jace was flipping through the channels. His cheek was growing larger, but when I asked if he wanted to go to Patient First, he refused. I think he was just trying to be strong for me.

"What do you want to watch?" I watched as he flipped through the movie channels.

"WAIT!" He paused and clicked on the channel. I grabbed his arm in excitement as Julia Roberts' face showed up on the screen. My Best Friend's Wedding.

"What's this about?" He asked, letting me lean my head on his shoulder.

"So, that girl gets invited to her best friend's wedding, but then realizes she's in love with him and tries to break up the wedding."

"Isn't that kind of a bitchy thing to do?" I shrugged.

"What if it's meant to be? Would you rather break up a wedding that leads to an unhappy marriage or live with the ache in your gut that you didn't try?"

"But what if it fails and he's not in love with you?"

"Then at least you'll know."

"Scarlett, I-" I look up to him, waiting for him to continue so I can watch the movie. "Nothing, nevermind."

"You sure? I'm all ears." He shakes his head, focusing on the t.v.

"No, no it was nothing." Jace turns the volume up. Something I do when my thoughts are too loud and I'm trying to drown them out. I learned that it never really works, just makes them louder.

But I don't push him if it was something he wanted me to know then he would tell me. Jace always tells me

He makes half-hearted comments as the movie plays on. I look at him every few minutes, trying to read his face, but I can't. He's not letting me in.

At the end of the movie, he told me that he wants to pick the next one. I was equal parts surprised and impressed when he switched over to Disney +. He told me to close my eyes and when I heard the beginning of Pocahontas, I opened them. I stared at him wide eyes, filled with childlike wonder and excitement.

"Stop looking at me like that," He murmured, trying to hold back a smile. "Seriously, stop it!"

"Nope, how'd you know about this?" He didn't answer. "Come on, Jacey!" I poked him in the stomach and instantly retracted when he winced. I forgot that two hours ago, he was bleeding on the ground. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?"

"Yes, I'm good. Stop worrying about me."

"You know I always worry about you."

"Well, you shouldn't. Especially since I'm doing absolutely fine."

"If you want to sit and watch Disney movies all night and not talk about our feelings, that's absolutely okay. But don't just lie and say it's fine when you're not."

"But I really am doing fine," He grabbed my hand that was draping off his leg. "With you, I feel content. I feel good. I feel fine."

"Okay, then I'll stop worrying for one night only." I nuzzled my head into his chest. I can hear his heartbeat faster than ever and smell his body wash.

We laid there for hours. Watching movies. Laughing. Talking. Enjoying each other's presence.

Jace was still awake even though it was almost 3 am while I was drifting in and out of consciousness. But some part of my body wouldn't let me sleep knowing that Jace was wide awake beside me.

"Jace, why are you still awake?" I murmured, wincing at the bright lights of the television. I think Zootopia was on and if I wasn't about to pass out I could enjoy it.

"You know why." His voice was tired but his eyes were wide awake. It's like his body was asleep but not his mind.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I shifted in the bed so we were facing each other. He turned off the T.V. and silence filled in the air. I could feel the tension floating throughout the house, like a ghost.

"Can you tell me something?"

"Yes."

So I told him everything. I told him about the life I've always dreamed I wanted. I told him about Markland and all my preppy friends and the AP classes I take. I told him stories of a girl who didn't exist. I altered stories from my own life and made them fit into this fantasy.

I was so ashamed of the lies that poured out of my mouth. But the words kept flowing and they wouldn't stop. And the farther I dug into that hole the harder it would be to get out.

It's pretty fucking deep now.